Update on original post Page 1 ... I have officially hit "rock bottom"...

[zakatak]

OK... I am asking for it. That four letter word... help.

Four on-line screenings have labelled me severely clinically depressed. I know I am. I have actually watched myself get worse. First just "down". Now I am actually forgetful (which I never used to be), tired all the time, and just plain sad. If you asked me at any point in the day what I wanted to do, it would be sleep. Just get away from everything.

I don't WANT to play with my kids. I am sick of them fighting. They are 6, 4 and 2. I am in the middle of potty training my youngest and HATE it. God, this sounds bad. I just want to go to sleep.

Worse thing is, I actually plotted out a perfect time to kill myself, but can't do it because of the kids. But, I don't know what is worse for THEM, me the way I am, or me not at all.

I can't go on any medication that makes me gain weight or I will FREAK. No Way. See? I am completely stuck.

Now, I know you can't help me, but has ANYONE been on any medication that HASN'T caused a weight gain? Maybe even a weight LOSS? That would be cool.

Thanks for listening. Sorry to be a downer.

me

UPDATE: This morning I had to bring back our loaner car and pick up our VAN from the Dealership on the way to playgroup (my sanity). We (Ellie (4) and Abby (2)) leave the house at 8:20am. Ellie says she feels like she is going to throw up. Ugh. First, understand that EVERYONE except me has been sick in my house since October 19th, the day we left Disney. Vomiting, Scarlet Fever, Runs, Bronchitis... you get the picture. Me (not sick) gets to stay home with sick kids ALL DAY LONG.

Back to today. I grab an old juice container (half gallon kind) and hand it to her. We do have to pick up the van, at the least (and most of me was hoping she was faking!). She wasn't. Hurled all the way to the dealership. So, there I am trying to switch two girls, two carseats, pay for the van all while she is sick. Scratch playgroup and head home.

See playgroup was important today because I was going to talk to the counselor (Sr. Madeline) who runs the Family Support Center about referring me to a Psychiatrist. I just hate to cold call someone out of the phone book. So... here I sit, reading the dis again, my son is at school, Ellie is hurling on the couch, and Abby is throwing fits about everything.

Sorry for the down update (lol). I AM trying, though. I just want to go to bed... warm fuzzy blanket.... peace and quiet.

Oh, anyone want to babysit the girls while I take my son to get his first cavity filled? Ellie is vomiting and Abby is newly potty trained. Should be fun! I did call my MIL who should turn me down in record time.

But... 15 days to Disney. You can meet up with me as long as you aren't spewing bodily fluids of any type. OK?

Thanks for letting me ramble some more. You guyz are the best.

Karen (me)

 

[LIDisneyFan]

I know people on Zoloft and Paxil who have not gained weight. Regardles, you need to talk to someone to get through these feelings. Don;t just stop at an online screenings. You need to speak with someone with whomm you can discuss these feelings, your desire not to gain weight, as well as not kill yourself.

Don't let the fear of weight gain allow you to ruin your life - please talk to a trained professional.

 

[JohnTBap]

Go to the doctor, please.

 

[BethR]

Wellbutrin does not cause weight gain, zakatak.
Please get yourself to a doctor. There IS help out there. PLEASE, for yourself AND your family.

{{{HUGS}}}

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

Call your doctor NOW, and explain your situation. You need help, and it's available.

I can't begin to understand why you would choose suicide over a potential weight gain, but a doctor could help you understand why you feel the need to control your weight at such a potentially great expense. I understand that Buspar has few side effects, but I don't know if potential weight gain is one it does have.

Please call someone and get help. You are worth it, and your kids need you.

 

[Boots]

Please go get help. We all care about you! I am saying a prayer and sending you many {{{{HUGS}}}}. If you ever want to talk email me and I will be glad to listen to you anytime! HUGS and HUGS again!!!

 

[C.Ann]

This is scary.. You have actually plotted your own suicide?? PLEASE - CALL A MENTAL HEALTH HOT LINE!!

You need to be in counseling immediately! And yes - there are medications that either don't cause weight gain or actually induce weight loss..

I am very afraid for you.. You are definitely in a serious depression and need to seek help pronto.. It's NOTHING to be ashamed of so please don't hesitate to call someone..

If you'd like to PM me (I've suffered from severe depression myself) please feel free to do so but make me a promise???

Get some help right now!! I'm really afraid for you..

 

[Tony-NJ]

Wellbutrin does not cause weight gain. Please talk with a professional. You will be in my prayers.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

You're not stuck. There is a way out.

I don't know anything about Anti Depressents and their effect on body weight. I know of several people taking Paxil and none of them have gained weight that I have noticed. You need to go to a Dr. and discuss your side effect concerns about any medication that he/she might think is appropriate.

6, 4, and 2 is tough set of ages. They do fight and scream alot and potty training is really stressful.

 

[catsrule]

I take a low dose of ampytripteline (sp?) for my fibromyalgia to help me sleep at night and relax my muscles. It can also be used for depression. I have not gained any weight and I have been taking it for quite a few years.

Please go to the doctor and get some help. It is nothing to be embarressed about.

 

[binny]

(((hugs)))) to you.

Please see a doctor. I struggled with post pardum depression for a long time after the birth of my baby. I wish I had gotten help.

please know that you are NOT alone and you have people who love you and care about you and want you to get better!

 

[Ricola]

If you are still reading these responses, shut off the computer NOW and call. Get yourself some help, please.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

[Blondie]

Please call your doctor or a suicide hotline immediately.

We care about you! Do it now!

 

[Deb in IA]

Originally posted by JohnTBap
Go to the doctor, please.

I can't say it any better than that, zakatak.

PLEASE call a Crisis Intervention Hotline, go to your doctor, the emergency room or hospital ASAP. You DO need help, much more than what can be provided on an Internet Bulletin Board.

Please check back and let us know how you're doing, OK? We care . . .

 

[Dan Murphy]

I concur with the folks above on calling a doctor, Karen. Depression is certainly treatable. I don't really know anything about the meds, but several here have given some encouraging thoughts.

I would love to meet you while you are at the World, as I see you have a trip coming up in a couple weeks (me too ). Send me a PM or email, let's talk.

Dan

 

[nativetxn]

Oh sweetie. Please see a doctor, call someone and talk about your feelings. <b>Please</b>. You frighten me the way to talk about suicide. Call someone and see your doctor <b>soon</b>

 

[catsrule]

Oh my goodness, I didn't notice you were leaving for WDW in less than 16 days. Thanks for pointing that out, Dan. I will be there Nov.29....would love to meet you.

 

[Serena]

I can't say it any plainer than anyone else already has. Get to a doctor now!

You never know what's around the corner for you.

 

[Kitty 34]

Some great words of advice have already been given so I just want to give you some {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}} and echo what many have said "Call someone NOW!!!".

 

[mickey65]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, I know how hard it can be. I have been depressed and rock bottom enough to think suicide was the way out too. Thankfully I had friends who helped me realize I needed to see professional help. It really made a world of differnece and has helped me learn to live one day at a time.......and if needed one hour at a time. You have made the first step in realizing that this is difficult for you. PLEASE, make the next step and talk to a professional.

{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}