Update on Lastnight Disney Meeting, Things have gotten worse

[Robinrs]

Seems to me that instead of focussing on the blessing you were given (the trip) this person is inhaling all of your fun. Don't let this happen! This is a once in a lifetime thing!

I agree that she is probably stressed and not into the preplanning thing. I wouldn't be either. Some people are just not into that. If that's it, and you don't know because she's not telling you, she just may be a great part of the trip. If she's just not interested in going, you need to find a replacement quickly.

Either way she needs to be told now. Stop letting her ruin this for you. People can only make you miserable if you let them.

 

[zurgswife]

I agree she is obviously not the one to bring no matter what her home issues are....she should have had some idea that they might be a factor when she agreed to go....

Don't let her suck your fun away from the trip....Tell her you've decided to find someone else to take her place....Try to do it nicely but be prepared for a backlash.....

PS...like others have mentioned, I'm free, I'll try to make the meetings, I'm the right age group, and I don't have a problem sleeping with a stranger (well sort of)

 

[goofy4tink]

Well this is a pretty yucky situation. I may have missed this but is this a friend you can live without if you lose her as a friend? I mean, her attitude doesn't seem to be too terrific. And you just can't let her take all the joy out of this for you. Life is just waaay too short. So, I would ask her, point blank, if she wants out. You can tell her that you understand that stuff comes up and that she may have changed her mind. That you don't want her to be obligated in any way or to be uncomfortable about leaving her family. Tell her that she shouldn't feel bad about letting you down, that you have someone else who would love to go in her place. It could be that she doesn't know how to gracefully back out. Or it could be that she's just beeing a jerk. It all depends on how much you value this friendship. That should tell you how to handle it. Good luck. Oh and by the way....I have no problem sleeping with another woman and I have no problem traveling with a bunch of strangers. So........

 

[doxdogy]

I am so sorry this has happened. If a friend offered me basically a free trip to WDW, I would just about move heaven and earth to go. I am sure that if some unforeseen event was causing her problems, would be more than understanding if she just took the time to explain it to you.

 

[ibouncetoo]

Just a suggestion, when you do talk to her, do in in person, NOT on the phone. Facial expression and body language (yours and hers) can tell you so much more about what's really going on.

The one thing that's makes me really nervous is that she hasn't made any effort to meet the 5 or so strangers she will be traveling with (she just knows you, right?). That would be something I would bring up with her...not just that she's not involved in the planning...that she hasn't met her travel companions!

 

[MsDisney23]

I have just bent over backwards to make her happy, while I am getting nothing but rudeness and grief. I have told her that she needs to meet everyone, It did not seem to bother her that she stood all of us the other night. It did not seem to bother her that now she said she would come to the next meeting even if she had to come late. Then when I offered to change the night just for her. She bluntly told me that Thursday nights do not work for her, and that she would not come. Her attitude was well if we get together we do and if we don't then it just doesn't happen.

I must be crazy to put up with this. Yes it has been a downer for me, as I never did expect any of this. DH feels as though she is only leaving her options open and then if she can not go, no big deal, she will just tell me again, That her kids come first.

Now keep in mind she has no financial investment here, and most likely feels she has nothing to loose. No even me as a friend. I feel that by doing this she is keeping someone else from going that would want to. So my decision is to replace her. To be honest I am not sure if I want to discuss this with her any furture, as I do not deserve this kind of nasty behavior from her.

 

[poohbears5]

 

[Kallison]

You know some people are just not INTO Disney as much as we all are -- if you can imagine that! I know when people start talking about their Disney trips at work and I get involved you can just see them internally roll their eyes as in "there she goes again". When I'm planning another trip and get so excited some of them are just like ho hum...oh really Disney again?! Maybe your friend feels that way, but that is not right to be rude to you and also it is not your job to figure out what her problem is. I would wear a group t-shirt, paint Mickey heads on my nails and toes, die my hair shocking pink or whatever..........Call me!!

 

[arminnie]

Don't let this ruin what is going to be a fabulous trip for you and your other friends. If you really don't want her there I would just uninvite her. I know that sounds just awful but not as bad as you will feel if this wonderful opportunity is ruined because of her.

As another poster stated she does not have a financial stake in this and she may be thinking since your won this trip that you don't have anything to lose either if she just doesn't show up. If you don't feel like being yelled at just send her a note - which will basically be saying goodbye to the friendship.

I see by your counter that we are going at the same time. I have rented a 2BR offsite and am trying to line up my girlfriends to join me on a trip. I'm going to pay for the condo (I got it very reasonably) but they will have to pay for everything else. I just hope I don't end up in that big condo all alone!

 

[kasar]

I wonder if her husband and sons are giving her a hard time about going. To me, it sounds like she is still working on going and probably hoping it will all work itself out. She may not want to say anything just yet, hoping that she will still be able to pull it off. Of course, I don't know them or what's happening but a possibility.

It is tough being home alone while your husband is away. But from personal experience I can tell you that after 18 years of doing this, I seriously doubt if she's stressed beyond all reason and can't handle things. Surely she would be able to work it out with her sons (they are teenagers, right?) to get them home and situated and then pop out for an hour or so.

Something's not right here. Your offer is extremely generous and she wanted to go at one point. It sounds like she could use a vacation!

 

[DisneyObsessed]

I can be ready anytime to go with you. And I don't have a bad attitude Seriously, my Dad took a friend to WDW one year who had the biggest attitude. We had to try as hard as we could not to let her bring us down. My dad wanted to put her on a plane and ship her back home. I don't care what someone is going through in their life, that is no reason to be rude and ungrateful to others. Ok I'm done now. But......pick me, pick me!!!

 

[Desiree]

I just want to throw my .02 cents in here also. I think I would meet with her at a lunch or something and talk to her face to face, to find out exactly what is going on. It seems to me that there may be more to this than meets the eye. Just lay out your thoughts to her and ask her point blank if she is thinking of pulling out. If you can get the lines of communication open with her maybe she will open up to you about what is really going on. She could be having marital problems or problems with one of her kids in school or something that may be weighing heavily on her mind and is distracting her from everything else.

If the attitude does continue during the course of your discussion, then I would simply tell her that you need to move on and choose someone else. If she can't be honest to you as to why she is behaving so sorely, then it's definately time for you to search for an alternate.