Update letter to friend from Disney Meeting

[MsDisney23]

Please do not flaime me, as this has been a very hard thing on me. I have tried several times to call Elaine, no answer. I want to do the right thing. Here is my draft of a letter which I plan to send to her. Please tell me if it is ok.

Dear Elaine,

I find myself in a very difficult situation. One that I did not think would have happen. Trying to organize a group of 8 people has became very stressful to me. This should have been a fun and stress free thing. However it is not working for me and is having an effect on my health. This was a free trip with no financial investment for any. My health must come first!

I am currently recending my invitation as I take time for myself to rethink this trip. It just is not working for me at the present time. I know your children are very important to you, and I wouldn't want my trip to come between that. I have tried very hard to please everyone and had invested alot of time in planning the best trip possible for this group. Unfortunatly this has not worked, my decison was a very hard and difficult one to make, however I felt I could not go ahead and be happy.

Hug's, Kitty

 

[Deb & Bill]

"recending" I think you mean "recinding".

 

[MsDisney23]

Thanks Deb, I will fix my typo........

 

[Poohbear123]

Are you E-mailing or leaving it in her mailbox? Now, move on and get those WDW plans in SHAPE!

 

[KathyTX]

Originally posted by Deb & Bill
"recending" I think you mean "recinding".

Actually, "rescinding."

 

[dcgrumpy]

I think it's a shame that you are going to ruin a friendship over this, but that's jmho.

Some people don't enjoy trip planning. My sister and I have vacationed together for years. she wants no part of the planning, just tell her what time we have to leave for the airport.

 

[CamColt]

Originally posted by dcgrumpy
Some people don't enjoy trip planning. My sister and I have vacationed together for years. she wants no part of the planning, just tell her what time we have to leave for the airport.

I think I missed the first part of this, but does the friend not want to go on the trip, or does she just not want to plan it?

 

[MsDisney23]

My so called friend, lied to me, stoop me and the rest of the group up, then I tried to change the night for her convenice, etc. and she got very rude with me and bluntly told me off. She has showed no interest in this trip at all. My DH feels that she has made a firm promise to go, but that since she never checked with her DH, he has most likely told her that if he is home in time ( he is a merchant marine) then she may go if not she must stay home. Now that is just my thinking. I feel that when the time comes she is going to leave us all hanging with no remorse. I did not deserve to be treated so nasty for any reason. I also do have to think of the other friends that are going. Trust me this had been a very hard thing for me, not to mention how upset I have been over it.

 

[arminnie]

I think you did a beautiful job in composing that letter. You have not singled her out or put blame on her (even though you could have).

Congratulations on your VERY adept handling of a very sticky situation.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I am currently recending my invitation as I take time for myself to rethink this trip.

I think your sentence here makes it sound like the withdrawal is a maybe while you think things over. Since you've already offered her space to somebody else, that is probably a mistake.

I would say "Due to the reasons above, I feel the need to rescind my invitation for you to join us on the Walt Disney World trip. I understand that your children are important in your life, and I would hate for this trip to interfere with your other obligations.

....

etc etc etc

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>This is just my opinion.

You seem upset by her reactions and your communication with her for this trip up to now. Some of your feelings seem based on fact, and some seem based on conjecture, since you haven't asked her right out if you can depend on her to go.

Since you now call her your 'so-called friend' I get the feeling you aren't committed to maintaining that friendship. I recommend not wasting ink on excuses why you're dropping her from the trip. In your shoes, I would send something like:

Dear Elaine,

I would like to let you know that I am rescinding my invitation to you to visit WDW with me and a group of friends, and have found someone else to travel with us.

I tried to call you, but haven't been able to contact you, and want to make sure you know the change in plans before too much time passes.

Signature ...


If you care, you might add something that you hope that the two of you can travel in the future, or you got the feeling that with her family obligations she wouldn't be able to go, and you need to invite people who can commit, etc.

Good luck



Another version ...

Dear Elaine,

I would like to let you know that I am rescinding my invitation to you to visit WDW with me and a group of friends, and have found someone else to travel with us who has agreed to come. With your family obligations, it sounds like you might not be able to go, and I need firm commitments now.

I tried to call you, but haven't been able to contact you, and want to make sure you know the change in plans before too much time passes.

Signature ...

 

[ScarlettO]

I like Mary Jo's letter. Quick and right to the point.

 

[MsDisney23]

Dear Mary Jo, Thanks for the advice. I have asked her several times prior to putting her name in, I even asked her after she lied and stood us all up. I have bent over backwards. I am not in anyways looking to hurting her feelings here. I wish she would have thought of mine and the rest of the group. There was need for her to bluntly tell me off. I feel as though this will put a big damper on our friendship, as it already has. I even told her the other night on the phone that I was upset with her and did not expect anything like this from her. She seems to have know remorse what so ever for what she did to all of us. Urg, then I try to please her again, and she bluntly told me off.

 

[DukeStreetKing]

Mary Jo's letter is good.

From what I have read, and tried to follow as best I could, it appears that your friendship with your "friend" is pretty much over. I wouldn't give it much more thought. Concentrate on the other women who are going on the trip with you.

I know it will be hard, but life is way too short to let something like this upset you for too long. People come and go in our lives. Consider this a learning experience and make the best of it.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Just wanted to say Mary Jo's letter is to the point. Your letter makes it sound like there is still hope for her to go.

Sorry about the friend but you know what they say who needs enemies with friends like that!

Now go and have some FUN!

 

[robsmom]

I think your note is probably a little wordy but you had some nice lines (about the importance of her kids, etc) that you might want to keep. I really would not sign it "hugs". JMO but you have just basically writeen the off in a letter that will probably end your friendship. To be honest I think that hugs comes off a bit phony at this juncture. I suspect that you really mean it, but it doesn't seem to fit.

 

[Antonia]

Go with Mary Jo's letter. Yours was good, but hers is to the point and leaves no room for doubt that the trip is off for her.

 

[momof2inPA]

I like Mary Jo's first letter the best. I would definitely not mention "your health" being affected by your friend's behavior. That sounds like a bit of an exaggeration or like you are feeble and on the verge of a heart attack.

 

[Serena]

I like Mary Jo's letter too. For the same reasons.



Remember to have fun planning.

 

[zurgswife]

I also like Mary Jo's version as it is a little less wordy and to the point...

Please from this point on focus on the fun you and the girls will have on this trip...It will be a blast no need to look to the past unpleasantness of your planning.....


Have a wonderful time and enjoy the rest of your planning...