Just wanted to say a quick Hi. Things did not go to well these past couple of days. I've just been feeling really sad and crying all the time. DBF and I got in to a big fight and things are just not good right now. With everything that's been going on it makes my stomach in knots and I can't eat and it's making me physically sick. Things have been up and down between DBF and I for a while but I really don't like the way he's been treating me since his sister got here, actually since he went to visit his sister. This is going to sound bad but when the three of us went places it was like DBF and his sister were the ones dating and I was left trailing behind. She was constantly hugging him and kissing him and holding his hand and putting her arm around him. DBF and I don't hold hands when we walk or anything and it's never bothered me but seeing them do it was just weird. I know it's his sister but it was like seeing him cheating on me. And I tried telling him how I felt but he just gets mad he would say why am I jelouse, it's just his sister and she needs to be close to someone because of what she's going through. And I would just let it go because I have been really trying to make things work lately but it's been getting hard becasue it seems like DBF just doesn't care anymore either way.
Wow, that is probably way TMI, sorry. I really did mean to just say hi but when I get going it all comes out.
Well I have to get back to work. I left early on Thursday and didn't come in on Friday becasue of everything that's been going on.
Ok Sarah, I read this and thought about it for a few minutes before I responded.
First, some questions. How long have you and dbf been dating? How often does he normally see his sister prior to her divorce? How long was she married? And I cannot remember how far she lived away from you guys.
Secondly
Sounds like you need one right about now.
Ok lots of things need to be cleared up before I can really give any advice or respond correctly but here goes.
Bear with me I'm going to use a lot of examples from my life here to explain as best I can.
Ok every family and I mean
EVERY family has a crazy person in it. The crazy person can be someone who is called "the black sheep" or the mean one or the "crazy one" Especially when you get into inlaw situations it becomes obvious. I know Alison says she loves her inlaws so for her situation I'm going to assume she is the crazy person in her family!
(only kidding) The point is there just isnt a family on the planet that is perfect.
My MIL was wonderful until the day dh slipped the ring on my finger then she got all nasty jealous. I never understood why. It was baffling. She would say terrible things to the local people in her small community about me so when we would come back and visit for church the other women would sneer at me. One day my new SIL finally told me what was going on. No one stuck up for me, including dh because he doesnt ever go against his mama, even today.
Anyway, when I was younger in my early 20's I would really have a chip on my shoulder about this. I would go back there with such an attitude like I was better than everyone and how dare they talk about me like that. Well, guess what they talked about me more. OF course right. DUH. Finally I wised up and changed my tune. Now I'm such an angel. I'm so caring and giving. I even exaggeragate how I would be in real life and so for the past 8 years the town has really come to like me and has wondered why my mil would talk so terribly about such a wonderful DIL.
Its my secret revenge. Plus I've met some nice people and have a much better time doing this.
Ok that has nothing to do with you except to show you that everything can be dealt with if you look at in the right light. Things you have to decide is were you happy with dbf before he visited his sister? Do the good times outweigh the bad? Let me tell you any long term relationship has its ups and downs (I'm sure you know that) so its up to you to decide whether its enough to hold onto or not. If you look over the span of your relationship and you see mostly good things then just let this pass. This phase with his sster will calm down. She cant be this emotional over the divorce FOREVER. If she is she really needs help. Well, I think she needs help anyway.
Also, your dbf might honestly be confused as to why you are so upset because it is just his sister. And you know how men are, he might be getting angry because they cannot express this feeling with words. If it was a friend I could understand kicking him in the nuts. Is the no holding hands thing between you too a mutual decision or do just one of you not like the PDA? If its him then I can see why you might be a little upset. If you are the one who does not like to hold hands in public then maybe he does and he might like to give it a try with you sometime.
Was her husband controling? Maybe he kept her away from her family or was emotionally abusive so she is just relieved and overemotional to be around family that is comforting to her.
I have twin brothers. I am very close to one of them. We are like the twins. He currently lives an hour and a half away from here but I have to admit when he comes up to visit I drop everything to see him. Dh understands because its a sibling. The only thing he gets envious over is he never felt that close to his brother but he feels lucky to be a part of a family where we are very tight. Maybe next time she comes she wont be so crazy and you can ask dbf ahead of time to be included as there should be no reason then for her to need so much alone time with her brother.
So see I dont know the whole story I'm just rattling off reasons why it might not be as bad as you think. I hate to see you give this up because of his sister. If you have not been happy with him for a long time before then this might be the straw that breaks the camel's back so to speak but when you calm down (and I say that because I know when I get upset I get all crazy and cant see straight) look at it from all sides because the next DBF might have a worse relative!! At least this one doesnt live by you!
I'm not saying it's strange to hug your siblings or kiss them on the cheek when you greet each other or something, but in my family, we treat each other like we have cooties. 
We only hug once in a while but we don't kiss or hold hands. My little sister links arms with us sometimes but that's about it. 
to do it is one way to achieve her goal and push Sarah's buttons. Maybe she is trying to get a rise out of her. 
) Seriously, glad everything went well and you are happy!!!
