Unhelpful Replies

[bicker]

Who died and made the OP King?

"We are all kings..." - George Stickney (1880)

 

[Big Kid]

However, the proper response to someone not reading the FAQ and not Searching is either (1) Ignore the question [a perfectly valid response, under the circumstances - being helpful is two-way street - the person asking for help has to do their part, in order for helpers to be obligated to help]; or (2) quote the FAQ, and/or post the Search Results yourself. I tend to do #2. As a matter of fact, that's kind-of what I did in the second half of this message: http://www.disboards.com/showpost.php?p=37708164&postcount=7

You are my hero for that example of a reply, Bicker! I will try to do be as considerate going forward.

 

[happily single]

I totally agree with the OP. Just recently I posted a question about an issue I had with a friend. The replies were just downright rude and mean in my opinion. I wasn't expecting everyone to agree with me but to repeatedly tell I was wrong and berate me made me wnt to turn away from these boards and go elsewhere

(ie: I was upset because my best friend from high school (a looong time ago, was upset with me so she is refusing to talk to my PPD son who loves her totally. I felt it was wrong to punish the child and I was appaled at the number of people who felt that "auntie" as she has been known for all of ds11 live, owed my ds NOTHING)

 

[Explodo]

Hey...Pull my finger.

And lighten up francis...it's a message board.

 

[usnuzuloose]

Well I went to a different board seeking some questions about stuff since I had no Idea about there line. I got the rudest answers and I had never posted on that board before. So I left it and I will not support the comapny.

I think alot of people come on here seeking honest answers for so much stuff. I also look at the fact some people are not internet savy. I will do what ever I can to help someone if I know an answer. Jo

 

[bgirldeb]

This thread is beneath me



































Just kidding!

 

[Scurvy]

Everytime someone posts a legit complaint about rude, nasty, etc. replies to an OP (usually by people with 800,000 posts), even though the OP clearly states they have no problem with a respectful discussion of differing opinions, disagreements, etc., people always seem to respond along the lines of "if you don't want people disagreeing with you, or offering differing opinions, dont post". Did the OP not clearly state that they have no problem with people disagreeing with them and offering differing opinions??

You're right. The OP did say he had no problem with people disagreeing with him . . . as long as they start their own threads to do so.

I do not, of course, suggest that we cannot disagree with each other or express our own opinions; this is the internet after all. But I would really appreciate it if folks would start their own threads to do so. If my post annoys you, for example, please consider starting your own thread about naieve people who dream on that the DISboards are all about sharing our enjoyment of the happiest place on earth.

Please and thank you.

Personally, I dislike that idea simply because for any one topic on here there are going to be lots of different opinions. If each thread was made up of people who shared one opinion you'd never be able to find anything at all because there would be too many threads. In my opinion, threads are like conversations. They are going to have the normal twists and turns of any other discussion, and the fact that you start the conversation does not mean you are going to be able to control the course it takes. If you want to do that, it makes more sense to start a blog and moderate the comments you allow on there.

I enjoy seeing other people's opinions about things, even if I don't agree with them. Sometimes I do change my mind based on someone else's opinion. I think the people who are so rigid about the answers they want to hear are missing out - maybe they are only considering renting a car, for example, and had never considered riding the bus. They might find out all sorts of useful information about the bus and about Magical Express in response to a question about car rental and because of that they might even change their mind and choose not to rent a car after all. And frankly, I find it a bit rude for someone to try to dictate how people are supposed to respond to them. When I see people doing that on here, I often wonder if they would be that controlling in their "real life". Do they invite people into their living room, ask a question, and then demand that people stay on topic if the conversation starts to drift? Do they criticise someone for introducing another, related topic to the discussion, or for mentioning an option they think the person might not have considered in an effort to be helpful? I can't imagine anyone wanting to associate with someone who would behave that way, and I wonder why some people think it's acceptable to try to dominate the conversation like that just because they are online rather than talking face to face.

I think far too often people are offended by a response simply because the response isn't what they want to hear. If someone can't handle seeing people disagree with them, the internet probably isn't the best place for them. It isn't realistic to expect that people will stay out of "your thread" just because they have differing opinions.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

People tend to hide behind their computer screen and believe they can say whatever they want...no filter whatsoever[/B]!!!

I am QUITE sure these people would never in a million years have the guts to say these things in person.

 

[wildernesslodgelover]

I agree with the OP 100%.

I guess I am weird...I talk to people on a message board the same way I would talk to a stranger in real life. I guess I am in the minority on that one.

Sometimes, I post stuff that I think is so innocent, and I cannot believe the responses I get. I read them aloud to DH and he says, "why do you even post on that board anymore?"

 

[Robinrs]

People tend to hide behind their computer screen and believe they can say whatever they want...no filter whatsoever!!!

I am QUITE sure these people would never in a million years have the guts to say these things in person.

They're basically gutless punks who never got the best of anyone in real life so they try to pull people down to their own miserable level and somehow that makes them feel superior....

It's the same in the real world. Not one of the wipes who pick on anyone on this board has the backbone to deal with that person in their face. Now that would be character.

 

[Big Kid]

so have you ever visted other message boards? they are all basically the same.

I have, in fact, participated on other forums. The thing I don't get though is that there does not seem to me to be enough at stake in the topic that we discuss on the DISboards, how to have a good time on vacation at WDW, to generate so much ill will. I like Pooh, you like the Princesses; thankfully there are character meals for both of us.

If we were talking politics, religion, or building a prison in someone's backyard, I would expect rancor. If we were discussing a business decision that could kill my raise next year, I would expect people at the table to fight hard for their visions. If we were keyboarding away about how the UFC fighter that I most identify with is going to KO the UFC fighter that you identify with, I would expect some virtual heat.

But in the end we're just talking about how we like to spend our time at WDW and what tradeoffs we make to get the most out of our hard-earned money and vacation days. I like rope drops; if you like to sleep in, I'm happy for you.

 

[wdwfan16]

There would be not need for a second page of a thread. The first person who answered would then kill the thread.

Many times when somebody points out how a previous decision got to to where you are will help another person from following the OPs path.

 

[WDSearcher]

In my opinion, the OP's post was just as unhelpful as the replies he was being disheartened by.

By posting a "why can't we all be nicer and kinder and more helpful" thread, the OP is (consciously or not) setting themselves up as the person who is doing it "right" -- the one who is behaving properly. And he is telling us all how we should behave so that we can be kind and proper and nice just like him.

And those are the kinds of posts that bug me the most. They come off as condescending and scolding, even the mild-mannered posts like the one that started this thread. Because they assume that the rest of us have not thought of this radical way to behave and simply need to be told.

But really ... the post was just a vent. No different than someone spouting off about their in-laws or complaining about their kids' teacher. It didn't answer a question, solve a problem, or teach anyone anything new. If anything, it stirred some controversy and probably put a bunch of people on the defensive.

 

[MELSMICE]

I enjoy seeing other people's opinions about things, even if I don't agree with them. Sometimes I do change my mind based on someone else's opinion. I think the people who are so rigid about the answers they want to hear are missing out - maybe they are only considering renting a car, for example, and had never considered riding the bus. They might find out all sorts of useful information about the bus and about Magical Express in response to a question about car rental and because of that they might even change their mind and choose not to rent a car after all. And frankly, I find it a bit rude for someone to try to dictate how people are supposed to respond to them. When I see people doing that on here, I often wonder if they would be that controlling in their "real life". Do they invite people into their living room, ask a question, and then demand that people stay on topic if the conversation starts to drift? Do they criticise someone for introducing another, related topic to the discussion, or for mentioning an option they think the person might not have considered in an effort to be helpful? I can't imagine anyone wanting to associate with someone who would behave that way, and I wonder why some people think it's acceptable to try to dominate the conversation like that just because they are online rather than talking face to face.

Well written & couldn't agree more.

I'll never forget when I was new to these boards. I was on the DVC board & posted the question/thought that it would be nice of the 1BR units were made up of the main room & the "2nd bedroom" instead of the master so it could sleep 6 instead of 4.

A long time poster Richyams (who has since passed) jumped all over me. I got myself so worked up because I was really very innocent in my thoughts & in my own naive way thought everyone would agree with me. Some people agreed, some people berated me & some people said they could care less. I saw it all that day!

I came to realize it was just a message board & while I don't think I should have been attacked for my thoughts I read what everyone wrote & went about my merry way. As the years have gone on & my family has gotten older I now understand the point of view from the posters that didn't want the 1BR configuration as I suggested.

Maybe you have to be a real "seasoned Diser" & get attacked more than once (which I have) to realize it's not a big deal, life goes on & honestly, who cares!

 

[LilyWDW]

People tend to hide behind their computer screen and believe they can say whatever they want...no filter whatsoever[/B]!!!

I am QUITE sure these people would never in a million years have the guts to say these things in person.

If I say something on a message board, you had better believe I would be able to back it up in RL. I don't treat the internet any differently then I treat the rest of my life. My feelings are the same in both. If someone were to walk up to me and say something, I will be just as honest to their face as I am here.

Do some people hide behind the screen? Oh heck ya... I have a friend like that... but not everyone is like that.

The thing that gets me is when people say they don't care if people post they don't agree... and then cry when people don't agree. If people all had the same opinion about everything in life it would get dang boring in the world. But if you post about something, ALL the information in that post is fair game so EXPECT people to comment on it and EXPECT people not to agree with you.

All message boards have a few basic "rules". If you post a question that is answered in a sticky, then yea, expect people to say "read the sticky". If you don't read a whole thread and then post something that has already been proven wrong 800 times, expect people to say "read the whole thing before you post". If people don't agree with you, don't log in and start calling them names and saying how mean they are because they don't agree.

You can prevent a lot of the "rudeness" by being a proactive poster and understanding the "rules" and the community of a board before you post. It doesn't take long to figure out the stickied information. It doesn't take long to look around and figure out what the "hot button" topics are. Spend some time BEFORE you post in order to sidestep a lot of the problems people say they see around here.

 

[maxiesmom]

In my opinion, the OP's post was just as unhelpful as the replies he was being disheartened by.

By posting a "why can't we all be nicer and kinder and more helpful" thread, the OP is (consciously or not) setting themselves up as the person who is doing it "right" -- the one who is behaving properly. And he is telling us all how we should behave so that we can be kind and proper and nice just like him.

And those are the kinds of posts that bug me the most. They come off as condescending and scolding, even the mild-mannered posts like the one that started this thread. Because they assume that the rest of us have not thought of this radical way to behave and simply need to be told.

But really ... the post was just a vent. No different than someone spouting off about their in-laws or complaining about their kids' teacher. It didn't answer a question, solve a problem, or teach anyone anything new. If anything, it stirred some controversy and probably put a bunch of people on the defensive.

I agree with you.

 

[mousermerf]

I have, in fact, participated on other forums. The thing I don't get though is that there does not seem to me to be enough at stake in the topic that we discuss on the DISboards, how to have a good time on vacation at WDW, to generate so much ill will. I like Pooh, you like the Princesses; thankfully there are character meals for both of us.

If we were talking politics, religion, or building a prison in someone's backyard, I would expect rancor. If we were discussing a business decision that could kill my raise next year, I would expect people at the table to fight hard for their visions. If we were keyboarding away about how the UFC fighter that I most identify with is going to KO the UFC fighter that you identify with, I would expect some virtual heat.

But in the end we're just talking about how we like to spend our time at WDW and what tradeoffs we make to get the most out of our hard-earned money and vacation days. I like rope drops; if you like to sleep in, I'm happy for you.

That's just it - you don't understand the politics of Disney forums. You think it's just some place you goto the discuss character meal experiences.

Disney is a company with a long history and customers with a vested interest in the health of the company.

There's a constant battle for the quality of the parks - your stupid princess meal replaced what I thought was a good authentic cultural dining experience. The ridiculous Pixie Hollow would have taken money from other projects - ones with real rides.

There is not enough money for everything. Feedback is measured and tallied and the popular ideas win. Shaming people away so they wont post about stupid princess meals is just one tactic used to get rid of the riff-raff whose opinion isn't worth anything.

See what I did there?

 

[Bob NC]

There's lotsa out of the ordinary posters around here.

There's:

The "I dont care what you asked, I'll answer whatever question I want to" poster.

You post a simple question like: "I'm staying at CSR, can I go visit my sister at CBR?"

This poster will respond with: "You can only swim at the resort you are paying to stay at. Only trailer trash swims where they don't stay."

This responder doesn't care what the question was, they just have to be high and mighty put folks in their place even if they were never out of place.

There's:

The "I don't care what the question is because I am only going to reply with icons" poster.

The question is, "Should I take my kids out of school for 2 weeks to go to WDW?"

This poster will respond with: ""

That was very helpful. I can't figure out why this responder even bothered.

There's:

The "I'm better than you and this is how I'm going to show it" poster.

The question is: "Which value resort do you like best, poll to follow" poster,

The poster will respond with: "I wouldn't be caught dead in a value resort."

And that was helpful to me, how?

By far the worst posters, though, seem to be a fairly recent addition to the poster line-up.

The posters who seem to sit home online 24 hours a day and need to be the FIRST responder to almost every post.

You know what I mean, they have been a member for maybe 3 or 4 or maybe 5 years but they have 20 thousand PLUS posts.

If you post a question about an exterminator, they know 100's of exterminators. Later that day you will see a post about insurance salesman and whaddya know, this same poster knows 100's of insurance salesmen. Then you see a post about XXX, guess what?? They know 100's of xxx's.

This is the poster that lives in the best house, the best neighborhood, drives the best car, went to school at the best college, has the best fence, daughter is the best athlete, son is the valedictorian, husbands job is better than your husbands, oh, and her dad can beat up your dad.

Sheeeeeesh........

 

[C.Ann]

There's lotsa out of the ordinary posters around here.

There's:

The "I dont care what you asked, I'll answer whatever question I want to" poster.

You post a simple question like: "I'm staying at CSR, can I go visit my sister at CBR?"

This poster will respond with: "You can only swim at the resort you are paying to stay at. Only trailer trash swims where they don't stay."

This responder doesn't care what the question was, they just have to be high and mighty put folks in their place even if they were never out of place.

There's:

The "I don't care what the question is because I am only going to reply with icons" poster.

The question is, "Should I take my kids out of school for 2 weeks to go to WDW?"

This poster will respond with: ""

That was very helpful. I can't figure out why this responder even bothered.

There's:

The "I'm better than you and this is how I'm going to show it" poster.

The question is: "Which value resort do you like best, poll to follow" poster,

The poster will respond with: "I wouldn't be caught dead in a value resort."

And that was helpful to me, how?

By far the worst posters, though, seem to be a fairly recent addition to the poster line-up.

The posters who seem to sit home online 24 hours a day and need to be the FIRST responder to almost every post.

You know what I mean, they have been a member for maybe 3 or 4 or maybe 5 years but they have 20 thousand PLUS posts.

If you post a question about an exterminator, they know 100's of exterminators. Later that day you will see a post about insurance salesman and whaddya know, this same poster knows 100's of insurance salesmen. Then you see a post about XXX, guess what?? They know 100's of xxx's.

This is the poster that lives in the best house, the best neighborhood, drives the best car, went to school at the best college, has the best fence, daughter is the best athlete, son is the valedictorian, husbands job is better than your husbands, oh, and her dad can beat up your dad.

Sheeeeeesh........

Beautiful description of "helpful" responses..

Oh - and for the record - for the poster that asked.. There are message boards where people respond in a kind and helpful manner - and are even able to express different opinions without hiding behind the excuse that it's a message board and therefore everything and anything is acceptable.. However, the type of people who would respond with the "it's a message board - get over it" excuse would likely never be on those other message boards because hiding behind that excuse isn't tolerated..

 

[cm8]

They're basically gutless punks who never got the best of anyone in real life so they try to pull people down to their own miserable level and somehow that makes them feel superior....

It's the same in the real world. Not one of the wipes who pick on anyone on this board has the backbone to deal with that person in their face. Now that would be character.

, I totally agree!