unexpected pregnancy?

[kacaju]

I have a friend who is very worried she is pregnant. She is married and has 2 kids. Her DH had a V a little over a year ago and she has missed her period. She is trying to convince herself that she is going through menopause (she just turned 43) She has a Dr. appt tomorrow so she will find out for sure. If *the worse* (in her mind) happens and she IS pregnant, those of you who have been through this... what do I say to her?
Right now I know she is not at the *this is a blessing* stage. Her comment the other day was if she was she'd jump off a cliff!
I thought I'd ask for the list of things to say (or not to say right now)
Thanks!!

 

[mjkacmom]

Why doesn't she just take a pregnancy test? I had a tubal after my twins (also an unexpected pregnancy!), and starting at 36/37, I started skipping my periods - I think it's pretty normal. I'm guessing she's not pregnant.

 

[SC Minnie]

Right now just tell her not to panic until she does to the Dr. It could very well be menopause. If she is pregnant just be there for her while she goes through the range of emotions.

 

[Sleepy]

Unless she is having serious female problems, or some other issue that she already has an appt for, I would not bother wasting my time or money especially to just see if I was pregnant. As a previous poster has stated, there are home pregancy tests that are very accurate. You would get the results much faster that way than going to the doc office and waiting for blood or urine results half the day. If I was that stressed about the possibility of being pregnant, I would not want to worry any longer than I had to. I would be at a drug store or Wal-Mart.

 

[DMickey28]

I would imagine she has taken a test since she is going to the doctor to "find out for sure."

I think the best thing you can do is be a shoulder for her to let her emotions out on. She is not going to want to show negativity infront of her kids or her husband depending on his reaction so having a safe place to be honest and work through the emotions is probably the best thing you can do for her.

 

[DebbieB]

Did her DH go back for his followup tests after the surgery?

 

[mickeymedic]

Did her DH go back for his followup tests after the surgery?

That's a very good question. My friend just gave birth to #3 - got pregnant with him 8 years after her DH had a vasectomy. He did not go for his follow-up (he actually had a good reason for not going.) And they found out 8 years later that it didn't take.

 

[ozarkmom]

When I was a junior in high school my mom was having some problems. She found out her "problem" was that she was pregnant. I was an only child she was 40. My dad had retired from the Navy and they were about to start their new life. They planned to travel when they wanted and just do what they pleased. My parents were in shock and not really happy at first. They became more excited and they adored that baby boy. I had a blast helping with him and even though we are 17 years apart we're very close. So no real advise just been through it with my parents.

 

[Rora]

I doesn't seem likely that she is pregnant but OP I think it's best if you just are there for emotional support and to listen. Good luck to you and your friend!

 

[kacaju]

She did a test and it was negative..but her two other children were also negative when she thought she was first pregnant with them. Dr. appt was made already for her annual appt.
She said they did have *issues* with the follow up appt with her dh, but I didn't ask about that.
She was joking that she was going to sue the Dr. so I do think she is worried because of the *issues* after the surgery.

 

[Darsa]

I honestly am quite curious to read what she finds out. Please be sure to update!

(Heh, I'm 40 in March, and the though of being pregnant at this point makes me )