Prime Minister Tony Blair announced today that British troops would begin to withdraw from Iraq because they had accomplished their primary mission of getting Saddams oil.
A fleet of hundreds of British tankers, bearing millions of barrels of liberated Iraqi petroleum have begun making their way from the Persian Gulf back to Great Britain, where theyll be met at the docks by triumphant military leaders. The Iraqi crude will be quickly refined into petrol that sells for about twopence per liter.
We got that for which we invaded Iraq, said Mr. Blair. Were taking our oil and going home.
The prime minister downplayed suggestions that British forces had also killed or captured many terrorists, provided increased security for Iraqis in their theater of operations and rebuilt schools, medical centers and infrastructure.
U.S. President George Bush called Mr. Blair to congratulate him on a major haul of sweet Tikrit tea, and to let the Prime Minister know that American troops would pull out as soon as we get the rest of our tankers loaded and back across the pond.