Ugh.

[dakcp2001]

I am like having a huge pity party today, and can't snap out of it! My DF got laid off, so April 30 is his last day of work. I am graduating in May, then need to pass the boards, then need to find a job. This is not going to be a quick & easy process, we are going to have to move. I am putting the house up for sale and hoping it sells in a reasonable amount of time. If it does sell we are going to have to stay with my parents until one of us finds a job (living with my parents is going to be difficult) but we have no other choice right now.

Now here is my pity party part. We are never going to be able to afford a wedding. Every time we try, something happens. I give up. DF wants to go to city hall, this is the most depressing idea ever to me. And saying we will wait til we can afford it, well that is what we have been doing for 3 years now. I just don't think it is ever going to happen. I went to go through this weeks mail, and two wedding invitations. I just don't want to go. I know I am being a selfish brat. I know. I'll snap out of it.

 

[Mrs.Reese]

You are not being a selfish brat!

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

Sorry you are having a tough time.
Did your DF apply for unemployment to help til you get back on your feet?

As for the wedding, it doesn't have to be a traditional church wedding. Find a nice public park with a gazebo, a few family and friends, a Justice of the Peace and have it done for little money. Your reception can be a BBQ in your parents back yard.
DH and I have been married 17 years this past Sat. We got married in a bar, yes I said a bar!! We married at the country bar we met at at the Navy Base. It wasn't the biggest fanciest wedding but it all worked out. We paid $1000 for everything. We even drove ourselves in our 1985 VW Scirocco. LOL
My BFF got married in Old Mystic Village in a chapel right in the middle of a shopping center. I think she paid $100 for the space. My dad is a JOP and his fee was $100. The reception was at the Elks Club.
You just need to get creative if you really want it to happen.

Don't worry about the other weddings. If there are truly friends they will understand.

 

[minkydog]

Sorry you are having a tough time.
Did your DF apply for unemployment to help til you get back on your feet?

As for the wedding, it doesn't have to be a traditional church wedding. Find a nice public park with a gazebo, a few family and friends, a Justice of the Peace and have it done for little money. Your reception can be a BBQ in your parents back yard.
DH and I have been married 17 years this past Sat. We got married in a bar, yes I said a bar!! We married at the country bar we met at at the Navy Base. It wasn't the biggest fanciest wedding but it all worked out. We paid $1000 for everything. We even drove ourselves in our 1985 VW Scirocco. LOL
My BFF got married in Old Mystic Village in a chapel right in the middle of a shopping center. I think she paid $100 for the space. My dad is a JOP and his fee was $100. The reception was at the Elks Club.
You just need to get creative if you really want it to happen.

Don't worry about the other weddings. If there are truly friends they will understand.

I agree with everything. Apply for unemployment right away because it takes a few weeks to get it approved and get your checks. Then start planning your wedding--you've waited long enough. No, you can't afford the Cinderella wedding you maybe always dreamed up. But you can get married in a simple, sweet ceremony. One of the nicest weddings i ever went to was held in my best friend's backyard. It was intimate and meaningful and their marriage lasted a long time. My own brother married his first wife in my mother's house. My sister got married at a public park and followed it with a big cookout. Fantastic weddings, all.

Summer is coming. Can you make it to a beach? How about the mountains? How about a state park? a college campus? We spent $300 on our wedding because that was the sum total in the checkbook. And that including the 1night honeymoon. For entertainment we got up and watched the space shuttle lift off. About 5 years later our financial status had picked up and we were able to have a real honeymoon.

Don't give up. You just need to think outside the box.

 

[Disney Doll]

Rememeber that the wedding is just one day and the marriage is a lifetime.

You can celebrate the beginning of your life together in many ways, and then choose to celebrate your continue life together at a later date....anniversaries are always occasions to celebrate,e specially in this era of a 50% divorce rate!

My DB & DSisIL got married in their yard in a lovely and very meaningful ceremony. They had livedto gether for almost 20 years and their ceremony celebrated their already committed relaitonship and also celebrated the step of making it "legal" in the eyes of the state. The minister who did the ceremony added just enough religion to make my parents happy (thank you DSisIL who knew that was important to them and so included it! ) and so it was a beautiful day full of family, friends and love.

 

[dakcp2001]

Sorry you are having a tough time.
Did your DF apply for unemployment to help til you get back on your feet?

As for the wedding, it doesn't have to be a traditional church wedding. Find a nice public park with a gazebo, a few family and friends, a Justice of the Peace and have it done for little money. Your reception can be a BBQ in your parents back yard.
DH and I have been married 17 years this past Sat. We got married in a bar, yes I said a bar!! We married at the country bar we met at at the Navy Base. It wasn't the biggest fanciest wedding but it all worked out. We paid $1000 for everything. We even drove ourselves in our 1985 VW Scirocco. LOL
My BFF got married in Old Mystic Village in a chapel right in the middle of a shopping center. I think she paid $100 for the space. My dad is a JOP and his fee was $100. The reception was at the Elks Club.
You just need to get creative if you really want it to happen.

Don't worry about the other weddings. If there are truly friends they will understand.

We looked at that Chapel! Its 2 hours away from us, but we loved it there. Our family refuses to travel so we will prob be alone if we choose that location!

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

I'll come!!!! And I'll bring my kids!!! DD would make a fabulous flower girl! LOL

It was beautiful! She took photos out by the duck pond, the gazebo and out in the grass by The Steak Loft. If we were to do it again, I would probably marry there.

We made the decorations for the counter behind the alter, which we reused as the decor for the bridal table at the reception. I made the bouquets and the boutonnieres using fake flowers. She got her dress at David's bridal for $400. My mom made the bridesmaids dresses.

 

[ahutton]

DH's family said they wouldn't travel to our wedding either, but when it came down to missing their son's wedding, they did.

Don't be discouraged by what people say when you are planning. Plan a day YOU and DH will enjoy, and then enjoy the people who are able to surround you. It doesn't have to be expensive or fancy, it can be quite reasonable.

If you wait for things to be perfect for you to do it, you might never do it. So make a plan, and do it with the resources you have available because they want to help!

 

[RNMOM]

You know, those of us who had very small weddings or went to city hall are just as married as those who spend a bunch having a big wedding. In fact, we have been married 31 years now.

I would wonder if you are damaging your relationship with your BF by not going ahead and getting married. Not to mention it will be easier to put him on your insurance once you are married and many other things like that. Buying a house as a married couple would be far less complicated too.

I'm sorry but I am soneone who feels all this wedding stuff has gotten way out of control. We've had a couple in our family recently and one father of the bride offered the couple $25000 to elope and the bride wouldn't. She wanted to spend far more than that for the big wedding. Can you imagine how far that money would get most people toward a home or education? Is it worth that for one day? IMHO, no.

 

[manning]

I have gone to several big weddings.....Can't remember a thing about them.

In other words if a big wedding is to impress...forget it.

 

[dakcp2001]

You know, those of us who had very small weddings or went to city hall are just as married as those who spend a bunch having a big wedding. In fact, we have been married 31 years now.

I would wonder if you are damaging your relationship with your BF by not going ahead and getting married. Not to mention it will be easier to put him on your insurance once you are married and many other things like that. Buying a house as a married couple would be far less complicated too.

I'm sorry but I am soneone who feels all this wedding stuff has gotten way out of control. We've had a couple in our family recently and one father of the bride offered the couple $25000 to elope and the bride wouldn't. She wanted to spend far more than that for the big wedding. Can you imagine how far that money would get most people toward a home or education? Is it worth that for one day? IMHO, no.

As of June 30, I won't have any insurance to add him onto, and he won't have any as of April 30 unless he pays for cobra, I am on the school's plan and I graduate in May.

I already own a home, bought it when I was 23 before me & DF met. I am selling it now, for fear of not finding a job quick enough to pay for it.

I am 32 now. I am not trying to overspend or impress anyone, I would just like a wedding that is fun and memorable for us. I don't care who else is there, although it would be nice to have our families. Oh and my mother said she wont attend anything that looks "cheap" or will "embarrass" her.

Bottom line, only thing we can afford right now is city hall and I am not ok with that. So I will continue to wait, until we can afford to elope or have a small wedding.

 

[mumom95]

As of June 30, I won't have any insurance to add him onto, and he won't have any as of April 30 unless he pays for cobra, I am on the school's plan and I graduate in May.

I already own a home, bought it when I was 23 before me & DF met. I am selling it now, for fear of not finding a job quick enough to pay for it.

I am 32 now. I am not trying to overspend or impress anyone, I would just like a wedding that is fun and memorable for us. It would be nice to invite our families, butdf is one of 8 and they are all married with children so even a small wedding will not be small or affordable.

We had wanted to elope, we cannot even afford that until one of us finds a full time job.

There will be no wedding anytime soon Unless we do city hall, and I do not want to do city hall. Ever. There is a happy medium somewhere, we just cant afford it right now.

You don't have to defend yourself. You aren't being unreasonable. If you hate the idea of getting married at city hall, then don't. You don't want to look back on your wedding day with such bad memories.

You are in a tough situation right now and it sucks. But try and stay positive. He may find a job quickly and your house may sell when you need it to. Things often times have a way of working themselves out. Just don't try and stress out about it yet (I know that is easier said then done )

Don't feel bad about not wanting to get married at city hall. You love your boyfriend and maybe people shouldn't expect to be able to have their dream wedding, but you shouldn't have to settle for the kind of wedding day you know you will hate. Give it a little more time, see what the next couple of months bring. Some people had some great suggestions on ways of having a more scaled down wedding but still nice and intimate.

Have faith

 

[Darsa]

DF wants to go to city hall, this is the most depressing idea ever to me.

My parents did this in 1972 They were married 'til the day mom died, and at their 25th anniversary in 1997 we had a great big wedding ceremony and party for them. It was awesome; I got to be a bridesmaid!