Ugh! What I said came out TOTALLY wrong. Now what do I do?

[KelNottAt]

There's a mom at DS's school who I see about 2 or 3 times per year. Call her Karen. I don't know her well enough to call her my friend, but we're friendly (KWIM?) whenever we bump into each other.

Anyway, yesterday was one of those days when we bumped into each other. After polite exchange about the kids and the weather, etc., she gave me a bit of news about something new she was gonna try. Then, she asked me if I ever do it. My answer was "no, I can't. That's more for people like you."

People like you! People like you! I can't believe I used those words.

What I meant was...GOOD people. People better than me, who have their acts together and can manage more responsibilities.

I stammered around trying to convey that. But just ended up making it worse. I fear I came across as resenting her super-mom capabilities. But actually I admire them. She's a hero in my mind...really and truly from the bottom of my heart.

There was another mom with us, and I know her really well. I think I'll ask her if I insulted Karen or hurt her feelings.

What would you do? Let it drop? Apologize to Karen directly?

Thanks,

 

[beckmrk04]

I'd ask the other mom what she thought- but I'd probably send a little card with a note explaining myself and apologizing just for saying the right thing in the wrong way. You obviously meant no harm- we all say things sometimes and then think OMG- that came out wrong. But- it also never hurts to apologize.

 

[fabumouse]

For me, it would depend on her response. If she took a step back and bristled, then I'd contact her directly. But if she just continued on normally, then she may have taken it just as intended - we all have different strengths. What I wouldn't do is make a big deal out of it unless you really think it's necessary. A coworker of mine once commented that she thought my DH was good-looking. That's a *nice* thing to say. Then she made this BIG production of apologizing the following day, saying it wasn't appropriate to sound like she had the hots for my DH, yadda yadda yadda. It really took away the warm-fuzzies I had from her previous compliment.

 

[SC Minnie]

I would drop it. Sounds like you already tried to explain what you meant to say.

I have opened mouth and inserted foot on numerous occasions. Sometimes its best to just let it go especially if its not a big deal.

 

[horseshowmom]

Believe me, I empathize with you.

We always volunteer to help out at our county fair with the pet show which is right after the talent show (in a different area).

I saw someone I know from work with her teenage DD. The DD was "all fixed up" for the talent contest. I commented on how dressed up she was and proceeded to add that after they finished with the talent show they ought to come over to the pet show (in the same sentence).

After we parted, my mind went back over the conversation, and I really wanted to run after her and say, "Ummm, that wasn't exactly the way I should have put that...."

It bothered me too even though it was completely unintentional.