Ugh! What I said came out TOTALLY wrong. Now what do I do?

[KelNottAt]

There's a mom at DS's school who I see about 2 or 3 times per year. Call her Karen. I don't know her well enough to call her my friend, but we're friendly (KWIM?) whenever we bump into each other.

Anyway, yesterday was one of those days when we bumped into each other. After polite exchange about the kids and the weather, etc., she gave me a bit of news about something new she was gonna try. Then, she asked me if I ever do it. My answer was "no, I can't. That's more for people like you."

People like you! People like you! I can't believe I used those words.

What I meant was...GOOD people. People better than me, who have their acts together and can manage more responsibilities.

I stammered around trying to convey that. But just ended up making it worse. I fear I came across as resenting her super-mom capabilities. But actually I admire them. She's a hero in my mind...really and truly from the bottom of my heart.

There was another mom with us, and I know her really well. I think I'll ask her if I insulted Karen or hurt her feelings.

What would you do? Let it drop? Apologize to Karen directly?

Thanks,

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

I dunno...I guess I would take some time to compose myself better and plan what to say ( I can see myself doing the same thing) and then let her know that I sincerely wanted her to know how I felt and that it might have come out wrong...I just know for me, if I felt the way you do, it would be important for me to take one more try at clearing it up. Not sure if it is the right thing for you - but - you sound like a good friend (althoug, as you said, not that close to her) and a sincere person, I am sure you will find the right thing!!!!

 

[grimley1968]

While I would not apologize, I would try to clarify what you meant when you see her next. I can see how what you said might have been taken the wrong way. Don't worry, though, I say lots of things that come out totally unlike the way I mean them.

If you don't clarify your thoughts, this person could possibly get a wrong lasting impression of you. If you do clarify, any impression she might have have gotten can be totally corrected right away.

 

[almacdonald]

I am a pro at sticking my foot in my mouth. I usually do the same thing, you know, try and make it sound like what I meant it to sound like, not how it came out but i usually just mess up worse. Hopefully this "Karen" person is an understanding person. Just continue to be "friendly" with her and hopefully she'll forget all about it.