Ugh please stop telling me how to parent!!!

[shortbun]

Why, if you heard/witnessed a person in that condition, why would you #1 presume they must not be doing anything and then #2 proceeding to be a busy body checking up on them?

Gosh--if someone did that to me, I'd have to tell them to stuff it where the sun don'tshine and leave me alone.

OP has her kids in her home and the busy bodies are doing this over the phone. Why ANYONE would feel the need to interview for triage unless she specifically asked for advice is beyond me.

Weird. Weird. Weird.

1. the Op did not say her family had not physically been with her children, thus your 'over the phone' statement is without merit.

2. OP has most likely told her family she is 'not doing anything' other than giving them their inhalers and orange juice(which would cause mucus and does nothing to cure anything other than a diabetic sugar drop)

3. The family is obviously distressed over the condition of the children. They have seen and heard them. We have not. Who would be the better judge of their situation-us or them?

4. I see kiddos everyday who's parents send them to school VERY sick, falling asleep where they sit-coughing until they throw up-feverish-exposing everyone else and getting worse until the school nurse calls the family and says 'come and get your child and don't send them back to school until they have recovered.' I have no idea what these parents are thinking but because of them I have been sick several times this winter. I Lysol my bus, use hand sanitizer, wash with soap and water, shower midway through the day, take airbourne, drink lots of water, get lots of sleep but I still get sick because these children come to me for comfort and cough right on me. So-because I know how many people are totally callous about their children's health, I get a little edgy about people who are not listening to others who love their children, mean well and could be right.

Why, when it's simply a matter of a little time and a copay, would you take a chance with an asthmatic child who is very sick and has been for a while?

 

[disneyjunkie]

This is a GENERAL STATEMENT to ALL PEOPLE. Nothing directed at the OP or other posters or this particular situation.

Sometimes other people notice things you don't as a parent.

My aunt noticed something about me. Luckily my mother listened and took me to the doctor. I ended up needing surgery for what could have been a very serious issue later in life if it had not been noticed & corrected. My aunt noticed it because she had had experience with it in her own daughter.

Do not dismiss other peoples concerns just because you gave birth to the child and think you know best. Experience from other people is valuable.

With the price of co-pays, I think it's ridic to expect you to take your kiddos to the doctor every time they cough!! Tell people to back off-- you obviously know what's best for your family.

Maybe they just assumed she doesn't have a co-pay. I don't know anyone who has one.

Sorry, if your kids sound really sick I would be wondering why you weren't doing something too. Got Mucinex? Are they drinking lots of water? Orange juice would be adding to the mucus thus causing coughing. Are they sleeping sitting up? Are you sure they don't have bronchitis by now? That's what all the kiddos here are getting with this coughing virus/cold. It's taking an antibiodic to kill the bronchitis and mucinex to thin the mucus and stop the cough. Also being prescribed is those little pearl thingies that stop coughing. If everyone is telling you the same thing....maybe you should err on the side of cautious rather than being macho mom.

Why, if you heard/witnessed a person in that condition, why would you #1 presume they must not be doing anything and then #2 proceeding to be a busy body checking up on them?

Gosh--if someone did that to me, I'd have to tell them to stuff it where the sun don'tshine and leave me alone.

OP has her kids in her home and the busy bodies are doing this over the phone. Why ANYONE would feel the need to interview for triage unless she specifically asked for advice is beyond me.

Weird. Weird. Weird.

There's nothing weird about family members voicing their concerns about a child's health.

I think it would be weird for the family to keep their mouths shut about it.

 

[J3nn78]

I'm with you. We NEVER go to the Dr when they have colds, but I have some family that thinks they should go at the first sign of a sniffle too.

 

[Kit'smommy]

My dd has asthma too and I am on high alert if she gets a cold because it can quickly turn into a trip to the ER. If she develops a cough, and the albuterol is not working to clear it - like she's using it every 4 hours or so and it's not stopping the cough - we make a trip to the Dr.s, especially if she's wheezing. Sometimes a round of steroids is needed to clear her lungs. She has had asthma episodes before without the cold symptoms, but a cold just makes it more likely.

I do not run to the Dr. for a common cold or take them, except the child with asthma. I do not run to the Dr. for a stomach bug or aches and pains. Some people go to their Dr. for everything.

Do be careful of the asthma though. Has she ever been hospitalized for it?

After my 36 years of experience with asthma, I am much more concerned about a cold in me or my child, who also has asthma, than I am with the rest of my family.

I agree completely with the above post. I have cough variant asthma. It isn't that severe and only gets triggered after exercise occassionally or when I have a cold. Often I need a round of steroids to get over the cough from the a cold. If your child is still coughing until she vomits, her albuterol may not be enough or the right medicine.

Also, it is not unusual for a bacterial infection to follow a virus, especially in someone with asthma. About 1/2 of my colds turn into something worse, needing antibiotics. Every doctor I have ever had has wanted to see me if I wasn't feeling better after a week.

Honesty, I would probably take your daughter to the doctor, if I were you so I understand your family's concern.

The OP didn't mention wheezing - I'm guessing she's had enough experience with the asthma to know when steroids are needed - I know I have!

Not everyone with asthma wheezes. I rarely do. That doesn't mean that I don't sometimes need a round of inhaled steroids.

 

[simonsmom]

pharmacist here- you would not believe how many older people EAT Vick's ! Yuck!!!!!

 

[Lionqueen2]

In most cases, I would do what you are doing. I'd watch my daughter and bring her in to the Dr. is things worsened or her cough did not go away in a reasonable time. However, with an upcoming Disney trip, I'd want to make sure that DD was feeling her best and be sure there wasn't anything more serious going on. I'd err on the side of caution. It's no fun having a sick child on a vacation.

 

[sunnyday123]

I was with you, up until I read that all of you were fine until your visit to the Granny's ( I think ) house-and then the next day your DD was sick and the rest of you picked it up quickly. Colds don't spring up overnight, and I'd worry it might be something a little more than just a cold. And with Disney about a week or so away, I might visit the Dr. just to be sure. Maybe she's pressuring you to take the kids because she had something, and doesn't want to fess up, but wants to make sure they don't have it? Who knows. But as someone who has had a mere cold and or sinus infection turn into bronchitis-and that lasted for 3 months-I'd rather be safe and out $10 than sick in Disney. I'm just sayin'.

And I'm not an "oh my god you sneezed let's run to the Dr." kinda Mom.

 

[mjkacmom]

Maybe they just assumed she doesn't have a co-pay. I don't know anyone who has one.

Who the heck doesn't have a co-pay? People on public assistance, maybe. DH has been working for the same large company for 10 years, and yet we pay $25 for the pediatrician, $40 for specialists. I don't know a single person here without a co-pay.

 

[shortbun]

Maybe they just assumed she doesn't have a co-pay. I don't know anyone who has one.

Who the heck doesn't have a co-pay? People on public assistance, maybe. DH has been working for the same large company for 10 years, and yet we pay $25 for the pediatrician, $40 for specialists. I don't know a single person here without a co-pay.

I haven't had a copay for the last 7 years. We just had a change and now we pay $5 for any doc and $4 or $12 for meds as well as a $50 emergency room copay. It's a first for my union of school employees.

 

[Christine]

Maybe they just assumed she doesn't have a co-pay. I don't know anyone who has one.

Who the heck doesn't have a co-pay? People on public assistance, maybe. DH has been working for the same large company for 10 years, and yet we pay $25 for the pediatrician, $40 for specialists. I don't know a single person here without a co-pay.

I don't have co-pay as you describe. When I go to the doctor, I don't pay them any money. They bill my insurance and I pay 20% of the allowable which could be different every time. That is a co-pay of sorts but not like most people have these days.

 

[mjkacmom]

I haven't had a copay for the last 7 years. We just had a change and now we pay $5 for any doc and $4 or $12 for meds as well as a $50 emergency room copay. It's a first for my union of school employees.

Ah, thanks for another reminder of why teachers shouldn't be getting raises this year!

 

[disneyjunkie]

Maybe they just assumed she doesn't have a co-pay. I don't know anyone who has one.

Who the heck doesn't have a co-pay? People on public assistance, maybe. DH has been working for the same large company for 10 years, and yet we pay $25 for the pediatrician, $40 for specialists. I don't know a single person here without a co-pay.

No, not just people on public assistance.

All of my family and friends are in unions. None of us have co-pays. As a matter of fact, we all have free family health and family dental plans. We also have great 401K plans and pensions.

Ah, thanks for another reminder of why teachers shouldn't be getting raises this year!

 

[mjkacmom]

No, not just people on public assistance.

All of my family and friends are in unions. None of us have co-pays. As a matter of fact, we all have free family health and family dental plans. We also have great 401K plans and pensions.

You can all you like, but this year, a lot of NJ school budgets were not passed. In this economy, teachers and unions refused a 1 year salary freeze, and to pay into their health insurance. Not to mention that starting teacher salaries here are not smaller than the private sector. Overspending by our government and unions are what bankrupted NJ in the first place. Please stop bragging about free health insurance and pensions, since the rest of us, who don't have these perks, are the ones paying for them.

 

[JessicaR]

pharmacist here- you would not believe how many older people EAT Vick's ! Yuck!!!!!

That is shocking! Scary too.

OP - I'm sure you are a schooled parent of an asthmatic. It can be extremely frustrating to have others second guess your decisions. Sometimes though they see something we don't as an outsider. My mom did this once when my son was little. She saved him from a nasty surgery.

Asthmatics need to be monitored differently when they get sick. I'm sure you already know how they can take a turn for the worse in the blink of an eye.

Your family is making you defensive. Maybe you can take some deep breaths and remember they do what they do cause they care. If they didn't they wouldnt notice.

Your family didn't catch that cold and have symptoms the same day. So it wasn't your relatives fault. Try not to be so harsh with your grandmother, someday your gonna be that 'old' person too.

I hope your family gets healthy quick and Disney is enjoyed by all!

 

[EllenFrasier]

Eating Vicks is disgusting! How could you ever trust someone like that to tell you anything about your health? I used to hate having that stuff rubbed on my chest when I was a kid - always made me feel like my skin was on fire. I did like the Vicks little tube thing that you could put in your nostril and inhale - opened me right up. I wonder if they still make those?

 

[JessicaR]

Eating Vicks is disgusting! How could you ever trust someone like that to tell you anything about your health? I used to hate having that stuff rubbed on my chest when I was a kid - always made me feel like my skin was on fire. I did like the Vicks little tube thing that you could put in your nostril and inhale - opened me right up. I wonder if they still make those?

I liked them as a kid too havent looked for one in years. I looked, says they still make em!

VapoInhaler

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

1. the Op did not say her family had not physically been with her children, thus your 'over the phone' statement is without merit.

2. OP has most likely told her family she is 'not doing anything' other than giving them their inhalers and orange juice(which would cause mucus and does nothing to cure anything other than a diabetic sugar drop)

3. The family is obviously distressed over the condition of the children. They have seen and heard them. We have not. Who would be the better judge of their situation-us or them?

4. I see kiddos everyday who's parents send them to school VERY sick, falling asleep where they sit-coughing until they throw up-feverish-exposing everyone else and getting worse until the school nurse calls the family and says 'come and get your child and don't send them back to school until they have recovered.' I have no idea what these parents are thinking but because of them I have been sick several times this winter. I Lysol my bus, use hand sanitizer, wash with soap and water, shower midway through the day, take airbourne, drink lots of water, get lots of sleep but I still get sick because these children come to me for comfort and cough right on me. So-because I know how many people are totally callous about their children's health, I get a little edgy about people who are not listening to others who love their children, mean well and could be right.

Why, when it's simply a matter of a little time and a copay, would you take a chance with an asthmatic child who is very sick and has been for a while?

Perhaps she is following the protocol set forth by her doctor to call when and if _________ happens.

But why people feel the need without medical expertise to butt in and provide advice or in your case, triage someone whom did not come to you for that...is beyond me.

As for the phone--for some reason I thought grandma spoke to her over the phone, so I was mistaken.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

There's nothing weird about family members voicing their concerns about a child's health.

I think it would be weird for the family to keep their mouths shut about it.

Butting in with triage questions as shortbun suggested is out of line and ticks people off when they feel they have things under control.

So yeah--it is weird.

 

[dimimi]

I do not take my kids to the doctor unless they are not getting better on their own. The only thing I can think of is that since these people are going to Disney with you in a week...they are afraid she will still be sick.
I have to say, if we are going on vacation, I am more apt to go to the doctor. Have a great trip.

 

[Silent1CB]

I finally had to google "eating Vicks vaporrub" since I never heard of doing that. Lots of hits came up. Who would have guessed? Some people even still eat it & love it.

I love the smell and the warm feeling, but don't think I'll be adding any to my diet soon.

Maybe this was a regional thing.