ugh- ds BAD in restaurants

[jfulcer]

Wow Beth, I wasn't aware you were a child psychologist! Thanks for the expert advice.

Geez Tiggersmom2, don't you think that's kinda snippy? Sheesh, she was offering her opinion and what worked for her. I personally don't agree with her, but I'm certainly not going to jump on her for it.

Alex, great idea. I hope you didn't have to miss too many meals......Oh wait, that's your DD you're talking about. Sorry....

 

[Planogirl]

Is it really necessary to jump on someone for having a different opinion? I see nothing wrong with a little something to distract a little one either but the same thing doesn't work for every child.

I personally believe that taking them out to the car is a great idea. I did this once when DS started throwing a tantrum and oh, how he hated that! I would never, EVER let him bother other patrons though, whether it was a store or restaurant or whatever. I wish that I would have used the car trick when we ate out and he acted up.

 

[SpecialK]

Feed him before you go and read to him, play with him.....
Restaurants are soooo boring for little ones. Why would they like it? Why would a 19month old behave in that unstimulating and boring environment? Get carry out. Why put yourself or your child through it. Try again in a few months. Don't push it now.

I agree. My youngest DS went through a phase like this at about the same age. We didn't take him out for meals until he settled down and then we went to casual, child-friendly restaurants while he was still "in training." He's 8 now and very well-behaved. My vote goes for getting a sitter. Why put everyone through an avoidable, unpleasant situation?

 

[lbgraves]

We always try to go out before the crowds hit...usually before 5:30/6 here. We are careful not to order something that is going to take a long time to fix. DH & I go over the kid's menu/coloring activity with the kids. They both love to play tic tac toe & dots. We encourage them to tell us stories based on the pictures they are coloring. Honestly, it helps to pass the time for us as much as the kids. They both went thru short phases when we thought that we would never be able to go out again.

 

[Beth76]

My children also don't want to go to the Dr. They don't get a "stay at home" pass b/c they don't want to go. I am the parent and it is my job to integrate them into the adult world. They learn early that we DO go out to eat and they WILL behave.

Well now that's a pretty big jump there, dontcha think? I never said don't make the child do anything he doesn't want to do. Eating in a restaurant is NOT a necessity; it's a priviledge. If a child is not going to behave, the child need not go. In my opinion. A restaurant doesn't need to be the place for my child to learn proper behavior; he can do that at home. With two kids aged 4 and 1, I've never had to leave a restaurant. Perhaps that child psychology degree paid off.

 

[justhat]

Wow Beth, I wasn't aware you were a child psychologist! Thanks for the expert advice.

Well I am a child psychologist and I don't think she's got such a bad idea! Well, okay, I'm not a child psychologist yet, I have 1 more year of grad school left, but I took a leave of absence to stay home with my daughter. I'm not saying you're wrong either, I really dont' think there is a right or wrong way to handle your kids in restaurants, but I don't think there's any need to discredit Beth's opinions. I agree with her in that we don't bring distractions for my daughter in restaurants either. I feel she needs to sit at the table and learn how to act without toys and other things around. That said, we always order her meal as soon as we're seated and request that it be brought out as soon as possible. This usually keeps her entertained for awhile, till she's full anyway. Then at that point she's usually satisfied looking at the kid's menu (if they have one) or playing with the sweetners (she loves taking them out of the little bowl and reorganizing them over and over). That's about it for distractions for us. Oh wait, she also liked to buckle the belt in the highchair so we'll unclip it and let her work on rebuckling it if we need to.

The other thing that works is that once she starts getting bored after she's finished her meal and has exhauster the sweetner and seatbelt is to get her dessert. Most of the kids meals where we eat come with a cup of ice cream or something like that and that will definitely keep her busy while we finish eating. We don't eat dessert at home so that's a huge deal for her when we're in restaurants.

To the OP, don't worry, the phase will pass. Madison went from being a joy in restaurants as an infant to a bit of a terror around 15 months. But now, at 21 months she's not bad at all. We never have to leave or anything like that now so she's definitely improved.

 

[tiggersmom2]

Well now that's a pretty big jump there, dontcha think? I never said don't make the child do anything he doesn't want to do. Eating in a restaurant is NOT a necessity; it's a priviledge. If a child is not going to behave, the child need not go. In my opinion. A restaurant doesn't need to be the place for my child to learn proper behavior; he can do that at home. With two kids aged 4 and 1, I've never had to leave a restaurant. Perhaps that child psychology degree paid off.

Ummm...no Beth..I don't think it is a big jump. We don't let our children dictate the terms to us...we dictate. No where did you say "in my opinion", you just spouted off that "kids don't outgrow the need for distractions", as if it were a documented fact.

According to the "what have your kids destroyed post" the only thing they haven't destroyed is a night out...LOL!!! Words of advice...keep the irons and the screws away from the kiddos and maybe your house will survive.

 

[clh2]

Other measures I have heard--you can pre-order your child's meal as it certainly doesn't take as long as everyone elses to cook. This helps when they get old enough to articulate (frequently) that they are hungry and how much longer will it take for dinner to come.

We did this too. It solved several problems, the biggest was if our DD was really hungry, she would be a pain at restaurants. The other thing I found out was if her meal came before mine, I could get hers cut up, or whatever needed to be done with it, and I could enjoy my meal when it came later - while it was hot!

Now that DD is almost 12, we usually give her a choice if she wants to go out to eat with us, or stay home. If we are going out "fancy" she'll usually will stay home, if we are going out "casual" she'll usually come with us.

 

[Texan Mouseketeer]

Our son was pretty big (tall) for his age and we went through this period maybe just a month or two older than yours because he was too big for the high chair but loved the freedom of that booster seat just a little too much! So for about two or three months we had some issues with this. One post said order their food ahead of time. For awhile, we just went to our favorite restaurants and as we were being seated we ordered our meals and his! Or, if it was a hostess seating us, we ordered as soon as the waiter came for the drink order. If we wanted dessert, we ordered it right then, too. We asked for the check as soon as the food came out. Another thing was we got used to eating earlier so we would in no way be out anywhere near his bed time. Once that phase of 'oh wow I'm not in the high chair' passed, things were much better.

 

[mom2boys]

We used to be prepared to order when the waitress came to take our dtink order. We would also order ths boys' food & ask that the waitress bring them out as soon as they ready - not when the adult meals were done. We also didn't subject them to a 7 course meal. No appetizers or desserts for us - took too long for the kids. (I am talking when they were under 3.) DS used to take them for walks shile the rest of the adults finished meals. BOy did my grandmother think he was the bee's knees! DH can't sit still any longer than my kids could at 3 By the time they hit 5 I would let DH go for HIS walks anymore. He just has to sit like everyone else.

 

[KeepSwimming]

Ummm...no Beth..I don't think it is a big jump. We don't let our children dictate the terms to us...we dictate. No where did you say "in my opinion", you just spouted off that "kids don't outgrow the need for distractions", as if it were a documented fact.

According to the "what have your kids destroyed post" the only thing they haven't destroyed is a night out...LOL!!! Words of advice...keep the irons and the screws away from the kiddos and maybe your house will survive.

WOW!!! I hope I never say anything you don't like....or I'd be forced to put you in your place. Deep breaths in and out work for most people - try it, OK? Everybody shares their opinions here - some just do it more nicely than others apparently.

OP - I agree, this too shall pass. My DK's all went through phases were it was extremely difficult to eat out with them, but now it is something we all look forward to as a family. Don't lose hope....just when you're sure your life will never be normal again they come around.

That's why God made them so cute, right???!!!!???

 

[Marseeya]

WOW!!! I hope I never say anything you don't like....or I'd be forced to put you in your place. Deep breaths in and out work for most people - try it, OK? Everybody shares their opinions here - some just do it more nicely than others apparently.

Apparently.