Two year old ring bearer. Fail?

[wnissen]

Hello All,

Our son will be two when his aunt gets married, and she is considering him to be a ring bearer. Has anyone tried with a child that young? He's 16 months now and doesn't talk, so I have no idea what will happen then.

Thanks, Walt

 

[happygirl]

Hello All,

Our son will be two when his aunt gets married, and she is considering him to be a ring bearer. Has anyone tried with a child that young? He's 16 months now and doesn't talk, so I have no idea what will happen then.

Thanks, Walt

He should be able to. IF not I have seen people put kids in wags and pull them down the aisle either way it's so cute

 

[SCHBR'smom]

I was at a wedding in June where the flower girl had been 2 for only 3 days.

When my oldest DD was a flower girl, she was almost 4, the ring bearer had been 2 for a month.

Not always the most cooperative, but very cute. As long as there is no fall down on the ground screaming fit, people think whatever the child does is adorable. And, I've never heard of that kind of fit. Most like the attention or become shy and run to the parent/grandparents.

My in-laws renewed their vows for their 25th anniversary. My oldest DD was only 13 mos and my in-laws thought it would be very cute for her to climb all over the altar. She was actually pretty good, she even walked down the aisle with us.

 

[ColoradoMom!!]

How cute! I am sure he can do it, but just make sure after he goes down the aisle that he has somewhere to sit during the ceremony. I think having him stand up in front of everyone for the whole ceremony may be asking too much. We had our younger flower girl and ring bearer sit in the front row with their mom after the bride's entrance when the pastor said, "Let's pray" they were able to sit without notice.

 

[Pakey]

When our oldest DS got married, they decided to have our middle DS's toddler (2 years old) be the ring bearer. It was an afternoon wedding so he had his nap but he still threw a hissy fit and was unable to "perform his duties". He would not cooperate at all. They even tried getting him to just stand there (after his dad came and got him and carried him down the aisle) for a few minutes with his favorite blanket and he was having no part of it.

He was fine right up to the ceremony but I think that having so many strange people there scared him.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

What is your aunt's personality?

Laid back, easy going, is not going to freak if the 2yo doesn't do it "right" or doesn't go thru with it?

Or is she trying to plan the "perfect" wedding?

If she is a perfectionist, I might bail.

And don't forget the all important question! Are kids coming to the reception?

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I had two 3 year olds in my wedding party. They were adorable all dressed up, but their parents did have to help direct them a little bit. Neither of them cried. I imagine it would be a little different at 2.

 

[Angelhalo]

My ring bearer was 5. He was awesome. Now my flowers girls on the other hand were 6 and 3 and both cried. They ended up doing ok on the actual wedding day but they cried through all the rehearsals saying they were too scared and didn't want to do it.

 

[DisneyBlonde]

It depends on the bride. If she is the type that will be mortified if things don't go perfectly, say the ring bearer drops the pillow or won't walk the aisle...it probably wouldn't be a good idea.

I had young children in both my weddings. I knew the kids would add some unexpected surprises, and I have no regrets. The youngest may have been 3...still, no one expects the kids to do everything perfectly. Personally, I think it takes the pressure off the bride when the kids do the stuff everyone loves to see, like talk to their gramma, or pick their nose, whatever.

 

[tzolkin]

With a young child you just have to be sure that the bride and groom are fully aware that things may not go as planned. As long as they will not be angry that their "perfect" wedding was ruined if the child does something unexpected, I wouldn't hesitate to include a two year old.

My aunt really wanted my oldest DD to be the flower girl in her wedding. She was 20mos and I didn't think it was a great idea. She did a great job and made it just about to the altar when she turned around and ran out of the church. (I was at back and had sent her down the aisle by herself.) The guests thought it was adorable and laughed, but my aunt was mad.


Both my DDs (7 and 3 at the time) were the flower girls at my brother's wedding. About two weeks before, brother and SIL decided that they really wanted my DS (15mos) to be in the wedding as well. They were more relaxed than my aunt, so I allowed him to participate. Older DD sprinkled the flower petals and then he and DD3 held hands and walked down together.

 

[mjantz]

As long as he can sit afterwards I think it would be OK. My flower girl was older but very shy. I knew that having her stand at the front of the church would be torture so we agreed that after she did her 'part' she'd go sit with her grandparents (my SILs parents). I think that may have been the only way she 'got through it'.

 

[boltfans]

I had a 2yo flower girl in my wedding and she was fine. I also had a 6yo flower girl who walked with her, so I'm sure that helped, but they didn't know each other prior to the week before the wedding, so not like they were friends or anything.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

My son was 2 at the end of April and was in my SIL's wedding the beginning of July. He walked down the aisle fine. The pillow was by his side, not held up straight. He looked so cute in his black and white tux and he beemed at everyone oohhing and awwing at him as he walked down the aisle.

I was a bridesmaid and walked down the aisle first and coaxed him to come to me. He did fine. He got a little bored at the ceremony and my mom had to take him out for a while but other then that he did fine.

The pictures are awesome and he had a great time dancing at the reception with everyone. My DS is 11 now and I still look back and smile and think what a handsome boy I have.

I agree about what everyone said about the bride though. If she is a bridezilla I would bow out. My SIL and I talked about my son's behavior extensively and what could happen and she said she didn't care , she wanted him in the wedding no matter what.

 

[pianogirl73]

My daughter was just 2 when she was a flower girl in my brother's wedding. She was all excited and at the last minute didn't want to go down the aisle since my husband and I went ahead of her together. So my other brother (who was the best man) had to pick her up and carry her down. Everyone thought it was adorable

 

[DisneyCowgirl]

I agree that the bride needs to be laid back and ready for the child to do anything. And if the time comes and he doesn't want to cooperate, just skip it. When my son was 2, he would have been fine at rehearsal, but there would have been a good chance that standing at the back of the church and seeing all those people would have changed his mind at the actual wedding.

 

[redrosesix]

What is your aunt's personality?

Laid back, easy going, is not going to freak if the 2yo doesn't do it "right" or doesn't go thru with it?

Or is she trying to plan the "perfect" wedding?

If she is a perfectionist, I might bail.

And don't forget the all important question! Are kids coming to the reception?

I agree with this. I was the laid-back type of bride and had 3 flowergirls, all nieces, 2, 4 and 6. I'd have been ok with her doing anything (even just doing the pictures), just didn't want to exclude her -- I never regretted it.

She did actually walk down the aisle, and then went to sit with her mum. She actually wanted to come back up later -- depends on the ceremony, but some 2 y.o.'s can't stand up at the front of the church for too long.

 

[wnissen]

With a young child you just have to be sure that the bride and groom are fully aware that things may not go as planned. As long as they will not be angry that their "perfect" wedding was ruined if the child does something unexpected, I wouldn't hesitate to include a two year old.

That is some good advice. My guess is that it will be somewhat disruptive to the flow of the ceremony to have him coaxed up the aisle, and it's possible he'll throw a fit, but as long as the bride and groom know what they're in for, I'm happy to have him participate

My aunt really wanted my oldest DD to be the flower girl in her wedding. She was 20mos and I didn't think it was a great idea. She did a great job and made it just about to the altar when she turned around and ran out of the church. (I was at back and had sent her down the aisle by herself.) The guests thought it was adorable and laughed, but my aunt was mad.

HAHAHA! Too bad for your aunt (what could she possibly expect from a 20 month old?) but that is a wonderful story.

Thanks everyone for your input, sounds like we will talk to his aunt and future uncle and give it a try.

Walt

 

[diznygirl]

My son was 2 when he was one of two ring bearers for my SIL. He did great. The 7 year old on the other hand had a total meltdown! It really just depends on the child.

 

[MichelleinMaine]

I think it could work based on your child's temperment, but entirely agree with the bride being in full understanding that it may not go as planned. (That's actually true whether they are 2 or 12... they aren't predictable!) If her expectations are low, it will be fine.

DS was a ringbearer at 3 and at 4. 3 was nearly a disaster- he tried to run out of the church during the ceremony! (And I was MoH, DH was videotaping. Thankfully the flower girl's mom nabbed him! She brought him up front to my grampa, who kept him in his seat feeding him tictacs through the ceremony.

Point of that- if you, DH are also in the wedding, be sure there is someone designated to keep an eye on DS in case he's not into being where he should.

(Should add, he wasn't a whole lot better at 4, though at least it was the same church/"crowd". He didn't run out of church, and DH was best man, so he stood up with dad.)

 

[wnissen]

An update: He served ably as ring bearer, walking up the aisle to me in the front row. He didn't cry except for when we tried to take a picture of him beforehand with the bride and groom. The only mishap was that it took me over half an hour and lots of bribing and screaming (he was screaming, not me) to get him into his suit. That and he said "Daddy, I have a boogie," loud enough to be heard perfectly on the wedding video.

Thanks for your advice.