Two Kids in Daycare - How Did/Do You Afford It???

[tcufrog]

Sometimes when posters ask for advice respondents mention options the OP didn't think were possible. Since it was suggested to go part-time at least for a few years to save money I felt the concern I raised was worth mentioning. A lot of people who have never had a pension realize that it's a lot different than a 401K.

 

[mrsdaly]

I actually leverage credit card signup bonuses to make it affordable - it was all the credit card rewards from daycare that I got that allowed me to take the trip - ironically (Starwood Points for a free stay at the Dolphin, Southwest points for flights, Disney visa for tickets and more). I have two kids in daycare - and I will take my second annual trip with two kids in daycare this October. There's lots of websites that talk about this in detail... I have a couple blogposts about it as well (see my signature).

 

[Gracie09]

I could have quoted a ton of people, I just choose the last two comments that were discussing this issue. Sure, it is an option, but OP specifically stated in her original post that she planned to continue working because it made the most financial sense. To me, this means that she considered the alternative. Otherwise, why would she specifically point that out? It just seems that every time someone asks advice regarding daycare, they just get a long stream of comments about how they should quit their jobs instead. I started a thread a while back when I found out I was expecting and I just got so many unhelpful comments, completely apart from what I was asking. Sure people can go off on tangents, but then other people can also point out how unhelpful those comments are in the context of the original question.

Then maybe a Disney board is not the best place for financial and parenting advice. If you asked me before my daughter got sick if it was in the cards for me to stop working, i would have laughed in your face. But when it came to it, emotionally and financially it made sense. Because YOU found advice not helpful doesn't mean the OP did not find it something to consider, that maybe she did not consider previously.

 

[DaisyJ]

At no point did OP ask advice regarding whether to leave her current job or not. She stated that she would be staying in her position and asked about ways to financially plan for 2 children in child care under that condition. Sure, staying at home could have financial benefits for some families in the short term, but that wasn't what OP wanted to know. I don't understand why these types of questions always have to devolve into a discussion of staying home versus working. Maybe it is because those that chose to quit working want to have something to add to the conversation? I just wish people would read OPs request before taking the conversation off track.

It's a discussion board. Even us lowly SAHM's are able to have semi-intelligent conversations and offer advice about things we aren't supposed to know about.

 

[prprincess]

To be honest with you, I don't know how we did it! We pay less for tuition for two in parochial school now! My boys are older now, but I do recall cutting back on eating out, social events, couponing a ton, and one of our cars was older with no payment, so that helped as well. And yes, we did stop saving. Thankfully my mother in law retired when my youngest was almost a year old and oldest started PK3, so her ability to provide us with childcare was an amazing help. Hang in there!

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

It's a discussion board. Even us lowly SAHM's are able to have semi-intelligent conversations and offer advice about things we aren't supposed to know about.

I did not say that SAHMs aren't intelligent or have nothing to add. That is just ridiculous. I am saying that offering advice regarding OP quitting her job doesn't seem helpful at addressing OP's question/concern. She said in her original post that she plans to continue working, so offering ways that she can manage child care costs while continuing to work is what people should be addressing.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

Then maybe a Disney board is not the best place for financial and parenting advice. If you asked me before my daughter got sick if it was in the cards for me to stop working, i would have laughed in your face. But when it came to it, emotionally and financially it made sense. Because YOU found advice not helpful doesn't mean the OP did not find it something to consider, that maybe she did not consider previously.

I am going to give OP the benefit of the doubt and assume that she considered the possibility of stopping work, especially since she detailed the positives of continuing to work in her original post. And I see nothing wrong with someone being a SAHM. Obviously, you felt it was the best decision for yourself given your circumstances and I think that is great. But pushing a narrative that quitting a job is somehow a better or superior choice, for whatever reason, without much additional context and apart from what the OP was seeking, just doesn't feel helpful to me.

 

[CdnCarrie]

You also have to factor in the "costs" of staying home. I stayed home for 5 years with my dds. I not only lost out of salary during that time, but I could only find a position at a much lower level making 30k less than I was making when I left. I lost out on my 403b matching which would have been tens of thousands of dollars. I lost the opportunity to advance in my career.
Do I regret staying home? No, but there are long-term financial and professional consequences to staying home that should be factored into the decision.

This exactly. I do get annoyed when people list all the "savings" of staying home.
If I stayed home for 5 years I would have lost out on the thousands of contributions in my pension plan. As well I would have lost my seniority at work and gone back to a much junior position which would have lost us thousands in income.
Most SAHMs so some running around during the day so often you still need a car.

 

[MommaBerd]

I also echo PPs who suggested in-home care or a nanny/au pair. My SIL had three boys in 4 years...there was no way she could have afforded day care and she did not want to quit her job. They initially had an au pair and since then, they've had nannies. Really, it's been a combination of nanny and 1/2 day preschool. Plus, as others have mentioned, you have the added benefit of not having to miss work when they are recovering from being sick (as in he can't come back to daycare because it hasn't been 24 hours since he had a fever/vomit/diarrhea...but he is running around the house and I can't get any work done scenario) or because of weather. I think it's more affordable than many people think it is.

And please y'all, we women face really difficult choices when it comes to working and children and childcare. Throw money on top of all that and it is an emotionally charged issue. Let's try to be gentle with one another.

 

[Gracie09]

I am going to give OP the benefit of the doubt and assume that she considered the possibility of stopping work, especially since she detailed the positives of continuing to work in her original post. And I see nothing wrong with someone being a SAHM. Obviously, you felt it was the best decision for yourself given your circumstances and I think that is great. But pushing a narrative that quitting a job is somehow a better or superior choice, for whatever reason, without much additional context and apart from what the OP was seeking, just doesn't feel helpful to me.

Please show me where I said it was a better or superior choice. I never said that. In fact it was gut wrenching and the hardest choice I ever made. I went from being in charge of a department with 12 direct reports and managing a multi- million dollar budget to singing baa baa black sheep and counting the minutes until my husband came home. So I could talk to an adult. But I also had a kid who had as sick more than she was well and a husband who could not take any more time off or he would lose his job. So I chose to put my career on hold and stay home. I sacrificed financially emotionally and professionally for the choice. But it was what was right for my daughter. I'm not superior to anyone but staying home is an option that some women don't consider until they are forced to. And you are the only one making this a battle of sahm va working moms.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

The only reason we had baby #2 (6 years after #1) was because we worked opposite shifts and my grandmother had retired and wanted to watch the baby. We did not want to pay daycare ever again. We were young when we had DS and that was a struggle so we were traumatized. Around here an infant is over 1K a month and after that it's about $200 a week for a good center. We were paying the after school program for DS also.

My XH was a state corrections officer and worked Tue-Sun 2-10 pm and I worked M-F 9-5. We only needed childcare W-Th-F from 1-5. My grandmother did that for free even when I offered her money. She watched her for 5 years until she went to Kindergarten.

If we didn't have that DS would probably be an only child.

 

[DaisyJ]

I am going to give OP the benefit of the doubt and assume that she considered the possibility of stopping work, especially since she detailed the positives of continuing to work in her original post. And I see nothing wrong with someone being a SAHM. Obviously, you felt it was the best decision for yourself given your circumstances and I think that is great. But pushing a narrative that quitting a job is somehow a better or superior choice, for whatever reason, without much additional context and apart from what the OP was seeking, just doesn't feel helpful to me.

If you don't find it helpful, ignore it. It isn't about you.

 

[crisi]

Please show me where I said it was a better or superior choice. I never said that. In fact it was gut wrenching and the hardest choice I ever made. I went from being in charge of a department with 12 direct reports and managing a multi- million dollar budget to singing baa baa black sheep and counting the minutes until my husband came home. So I could talk to an adult. But I also had a kid who had as sick more than she was well and a husband who could not take any more time off or he would lose his job. So I chose to put my career on hold and stay home. I sacrificed financially emotionally and professionally for the choice. But it was what was right for my daughter. I'm not superior to anyone but staying home is an option that some women don't consider until they are forced to. And you are the only one making this a battle of sahm va working moms.

I think its the implication. When you were planning on returning to work, before you knew you'd have a child who was ill, you probably resented those people who suggested you stay home. Its sort of patronizing to assume someone is not aware that they have that choice - in theory (the reality is that for a lot of people, they don't have choices - they have to work - and often have substandard child care arrangements or are dependent on family. Or they have to stay home because there is no option for even substandard child care or family). We all know we have a choice and most of us know how lucky we are to have it.

If someone comes on here and says "hey, I'm going to Disney for my vacation, how should I save" and someone comes back with "oh, just don't go" that would be sort of rude. But that's what was done in this case.

I was home for a year when my son was in 9th grade. I homeschooled him - which was the best choice for us at the time. But I wouldn't say to anyone who was sending their kids off to school "oh, you should homeschool" I'm happy to talk about how I did it and what it was like if the conversation turns to homeschooling - it had pros and cons and ups and downs. And if someone were to talk about their kid and it sounded a lot like our situation, I might say "yeah, we went through that, we homeschooled for a year." (There is an exceptional amount of privilege in being able to homeschool your kids - especially at a high school age)

And my problem isn't with "you should stay home" but "you should stay home because it will save you money" - when the assumptions people make in order to make that work out are often loaded to make staying home more financially attractive than it is.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

If you don't find it helpful, ignore it. It isn't about you.

And it isn't about you either. It is about what OP asked regarding her needs in relation to child care expenses, which is exactly what I pointed out in my previous posts.

 

[Gracie09]

I think its the implication. When you were planning on returning to work, before you knew you'd have a child who was ill, you probably resented those people who suggested you stay home. Its sort of patronizing to assume someone is not aware that they have that choice - in theory (the reality is that for a lot of people, they don't have choices - they have to work - and often have substandard child care arrangements or are dependent on family. Or they have to stay home because there is no option for even substandard child care or family). We all know we have a choice and most of us know how lucky we are to have it.

If someone comes on here and says "hey, I'm going to Disney for my vacation, how should I save" and someone comes back with "oh, just don't go" that would be sort of rude. But that's what was done in this case.

I was home for a year when my son was in 9th grade. I homeschooled him - which was the best choice for us at the time. But I wouldn't say to anyone who was sending their kids off to school "oh, you should homeschool" I'm happy to talk about how I did it and what it was like if the conversation turns to homeschooling - it had pros and cons and ups and downs. And if someone were to talk about their kid and it sounded a lot like our situation, I might say "yeah, we went through that, we homeschooled for a year." (There is an exceptional amount of privilege in being able to homeschool your kids - especially at a high school age)

And my problem isn't with "you should stay home" but "you should stay home because it will save you money" - when the assumptions people make in order to make that work out are often loaded to make staying home more financially attractive than it is.

If you actually read what I wrote you would see that I wrote about the hidden costs of staying home that people don't consider. But hey, why let facts get in the way of your soapbox...

 

[kydisneyfans]

You also have to factor in the "costs" of staying home. I stayed home for 5 years with my dds. I not only lost out of salary during that time, but I could only find a position at a much lower level making 30k less than I was making when I left. I lost out on my 403b matching which would have been tens of thousands of dollars. I lost the opportunity to advance in my career.
Do I regret staying home? No, but there are long-term financial and professional consequences to staying home that should be factored into the decision.

The exact opposite happened to my wife when she stayed home. She was making $11/hr as a medical biller. While taking off to take care raise our son, she studied to get into the coding side. He then started school and the $11/hr with education went to $20, then $26, then promotions to auditing and provider education, to the point that 12 years later she made $155K working from home providing education to hospitals and doctors to let them know what they need to provide to payors to maximize revenue. She took the time to bond with our child, which cannot be replaced, plus she gained the education needed to advance her career while off.

Not everyone taking a break to raise a child is setting themselves back in their career. In our case, it paid off to take the time off. It's up to each individual family to determine what is best for them.

 

[Southernmiss]

If I may chime in...

Don't think that what you think now is set in stone and law.

Things can change in an instant.

Some of those who planned to keep their career after baby may find that their own maternal instincts kick in and then find that they prefer to be home with their child or that career and child rearing at the same time don't work for them.

Some may think they are going to stay home may find caring for a child overwhelming or may need to work for finances or insurance or a variety of other reasons.

Some may roll along like always just with a child in the mix.

Each family must do what's best for their families.

I think some in this board may have an awakening and change of plans when their children are actually here.

As to the original question, OP must do what is right for her family and her situation and find her ways of affording 2 in day care if that's what is needed.

 

[TwoMisfits]

The exact opposite happened to my wife when she stayed home. She was making $11/hr as a medical biller. While taking off to take care raise our son, she studied to get into the coding side. He then started school and the $11/hr with education went to $20, then $26, then promotions to auditing and provider education, to the point that 12 years later she made $155K working from home providing education to hospitals and doctors to let them know what they need to provide to payors to maximize revenue. She took the time to bond with our child, which cannot be replaced, plus she gained the education needed to advance her career while off.

Not everyone taking a break to raise a child is setting themselves back in their career. In our case, it paid off to take the time off. It's up to each individual family to determine what is best for them.

Sounds like what my plan was (to go to law school once my kids were in school and to use my accounting degree and CPA work experience to go into tax law...) Didn't happen b/c of what my kids needed and what I myself decided mattered more to me (and b/c my spouse secured a much higher paying job than he started with when we started having kids - yes, me being home did help him with that, since the new job originally required him to be out of town 2 full weeks/month for about 9 years until he finally got into a spot where travel is now almost gone)...but if you take time out of the work force, you can execute things like changing career fields b/c you can find the time to gain education and to see the opportunities and to start networking...

Not related to anything the Op asked, but worth thinking about in general for any moms planning on having kids in the next few years and wondering what to do...

 

[1st*toright]

To get back to the OP's question - I agree with those who said their financial priorities had to change for that 4 or 5 years when they were paying for daycare. We did all kinds of variations that were based on what our lives looked like. We never had two in daycare at the same time, because our kids are further apart, but we did have a stretch with one in daycare and one in private school (guess which one was more expensive...)

We both changed careers when our first kid was a toddler- both got graduate degrees, moved to a new city. We had some savings because we sold our house in an expensive part of the country, but it was a pretty "seat of the pants" time. I honestly can't remember how we afforded it - other than we did nothing but study, work, and play with our kid and had picked the law school DH attended based on it being in an area with a much lower cost of living. Certainly no 401ks or vacations at that point.

Our second came along several years later when we were both well settled in our new careers (law and accounting), so we were really used to having our financial house in order, which in some ways was more stressful. I was lucky enough that my firm let me go part time for the first couple of years, so the reduction in income was more of a big deal than the increase in daycare/school costs. We definitely had less $$$ to work with. We put less into our retirement accounts (at one point it was just enough so we didn't lose the company match), and while we kept an emergency fund, we weren't adding much to it. There was a lot less fun money - fewer meals out (and more quick meals at home in place of takeout). More modest vacations (mostly visiting family). Really, all the fun stuff was dialed down, but we were also in little kid mode, so we didn't miss it as much as I would have thought. After chasing a toddler around all day, a quiet netflix with homemade pizza was sometimes more appealing than a dinner and a show would have been.

I'm a big fan of You Need a Budget - or YNAB. It does cost $50 a year, but I found it a really helpful tool to see exactly where our money goes, to categorize what are necessary expenses versus discretionary expenses, and to see where we were randomly spending money on things that aren't critical. More info is better! Now that we are moving past the daycare phase, its really useful to be sure we are taking that "extra" money and putting it to good use, rather than just spending it without considering our overall priorities.

 

[CalDisneyMomof2]

My only advice is to not stress/worry about it. Life has a way of working itself out sometimes. So long as your children have a roof over their heads, food in their belly, clothes on their bodies and love in their home, that's what's most important.

I know that sounds cliche but remember that not all children have that luxury. Many families are not thinking about a retirement plan, college funds or their next vacation. And don't get me wrong, those are important. But remember we'll find a way to live without them - at least in the time being. And I agree with @MommaBerd, support each other. We make very, very hard choices for our families and should be lifting each other up.

My situation is very different from your's so my personal advice is not useful but hang in there - it'll all work out!