Alright already! I like that the bbn failed to mention that I didnt have internet for about a week and I only have one day off a week. Would I want to spend that day catching up on things around the house? Perhaps go to a movie or relax by the pool? No way
I want to write this stinkin trip report!!! (actually, I think its time this tr be laid to rest).
ANYWAY
..
We pile into the Hollywood-mobile leaving stalker woman in our dust. I think bbn turned to wave to her. When we got to the exit of the resort, I looked at RS.
So, which way to Animal Kingdom? I asked him.
He looked at me with a blank stare.
Did you or did you not get directions to the Animal Kingdom AND the airport just now?
Welllllll
I did get the directions in the sense that they were dictated to me, but I didnt so much listen to them. Its not one of my strong points.
Just turn left, RS said. His voice sounded very tired. Did we wear him out? In just 3 days? AMAZING!
So, we turn left and then right and then left, then we did a u-turn, then some car cut us off and we did some off roading. THEN we took another right, three more lefts, and a few arm flails later we were in a parking spot at Animal Kingdom.
See, I said victoriously, I told you I didnt need to listen to the directions!
I think I could practically hear the eyerolls at that point.
Our happy trio gleefully skipped toward the park entrance. Okay, so we were a little tired and there wasnt as much skipping as the first day, but I think we were all still happy to be there. RS and I were walking with a purpose right to the turnstiles but the bbn was lagging noticeably behind.
What are you doing, come on! I started pulling her by the arm.
But
but
.I thought
maybe we should
She managed to stammer out.
*me tapping my foot impatiently*
Out with it already, woman!
well, I thought we should get a picture by the entrance, but theres no one to take it. She finally replied.
As if this was some huge dilemma.

As if there werent 18 thousand million people everywhere who would take our picture. I think the bbns mother trained her well because she doesnt talk to strangers. Really, her mama should be proud. However, this trait just annoys me. I walked up to one of the photopass people and asked them to take our picture. They were more than happy to oblige. See, I know things about working at Disney. And I know that these cast members were not busy. They were, in fact, quite bored. They were practically wishing someone would ask them to take their picture. OKAY. Anyway,
I see this as a thorn between two roses, no?
Once we checked that off the list we were finally headed into the park. After a severe lack of obsessing, RS made the executive decision that we were off to retrieve fastpasses for Everest. It only took him 3 days to fully realize that he might as well just make every decision and not involve us. Hey, Id say he catches on fast! Side note
.nowadays I call him Event Coordinator when I visit Crazynurse Ranch because we still make him make all the decisions. Hey, were smart, funny, pretty, charming
we cant be good at everything, right?
The fastpass karma was not pointed in our direction, though. I think everyone has one of those moments during a Disney trip. You know, where someone gets overtired or sick of waiting in lines, or hungry, or too hot, or any other number of things. These moments always result in that person having a less than charming reaction to something. I thought thats what we were about to witness at the fastpass machines, but this chick was taking it to a
whole nutha level. Did she miss the memo that Disney is FAMILY ORIENTED???? Her language wasnt even college dorm oriented!! She was pushing in front of people in a very entitled manner. I was inclined to just let her mooove on by. In all honesty, she was a bit scary and I didnt want to cross her. The bbn and I sort of parted to let psycho fastpass grump through, but RS had enough of her antics.
He turned to cursing lady and said "Hey, the rest of us didn't get the memo that it was dumba** day at Animal Kingdom. I suggest you do us all a favor and knock it off"
SNAP!!!!!!! Hey, I guess you dont mess with a cowboy. See, I knew there was a reason we needed RS there! Grumpy woman shamefully makes her way to her rightful spot at the end of the line and the rest of the Animal Kingdom population is able to successfully obtain fastpasses.
Fastpasses in hand, we decided to head somewhere. Thing is, I dont remember where. Maybe thats why you shouldnt take a year to write a tr, who knows? I do know that this time it was the bbn, not ME who got distracted on the way to wherever. Apparently monkeys are very distracting. I humored her by listening to her ramblings about monkeys, her first visit to Animal Kingdom in 1998, blah, blah, blah, on and on, reminiscing
.PJ growing weary
.so hot outside. I figured at the rate she was talking I could just walk away and she wouldnt even notice.
On second thought, I figured I should be a good friend and stay and listen to her. But then, I spotted it. A FAN!!!! In a nearby SHADY corner! That sealed the deal. I continued to make the obligatory Im listening to you noises for as long as possible as I disappeared into the distance. Ahhhhhh fan. So nice. I could still see the bbns lips moving, still talking. I would say it took her a good 20 minutes before she even realized I was gone. Good thing I never plan on being abducted in her presence, because I really dont think shed be at all helpful in rescuing me.
Then she FINALLY stops talking about the darn monkeys and heads to the bathroom. She comes out seconds later looking a bit disconcerted. I shout her name and wave, painting an angelic smile on my face. She doesnt look all that happy though. Apparently I was supposed to stand vigil over the monkey lecture. Who knew? Once we were all regrouped it was time for our trek through the Himalayan Mountains, it seems we had a date with a certain yeti. That is, if the bbn could once again use her powers of persuasion
..