Turn OPRAH on!

[Christine]

I don't know why the husband did not have health insurance through his employer.

Not to go off on another topic but this is one of the major problems in this country. People making decent money, probably worker for smaller companies, that do not have the access to affordable care. His company may not offer a family plan and they probably didn't want to pay for a private policy.

 

[minniecarousel]

It sounds like the Dad (with the first family in CA) worked as an independant contractor doing computer work. That's not uncommon in that field. You get paid more per hour, but there is usually no health insurance & no 401K. He should be able to get hired somewhere that offers employment with insurance. He sure looked stunned at the suggestion that they move to Seattle. He should realize that once they sell their house, the area that they could afford to rent in CA is not the area they'd be comfortable living in.

I wanted to yell at that Mom when she was moaning that her husband didn't make enough $$ to support their lifestyle! sheesh - then change your lifestyle! I loved Suze's comment about not letting their parents bail them out of this. (Ordinarily, I can't stand Suze Orman!) She probably saw that both sets of grandparents have $$ and could possibly do that.

cripes - $1500 birthday parties! trucking in snow! nuts!

 

[drag n' fly]

Okay, I got to watch the show last night.

The second couple can correct what they have done. They realize their mistakes and I believe they will change.

I have to say one thing--I don't care if I'm Mrs. Gates--there is no way I will ever pay $900 for a pair of shoes--unless they are made of gold. How insane.

About the first couple:

The wife IMHO is a psychopath. She doesn't give two toots about her husband or kids. It's all about her.

One comment that was telling was "my mother was overbearing...I got everything that I wanted growing up..." huh? So in other words, you were a spoiled brat who's world evolved around you.

Suze really dropped the ball and contradicted herself. Even Oprah was speechless. What's the point of the show if you aren't going to tell blondie like it is?

Suze's speil about "it's not your fault that you don't love yourself, you are buying things as a substitute for love" is a bunch of hooey! Tell it like it is--you only care about you, you, you. Your kid's teeth can rot away, your daughter can get sick, but as long as you have money to spend on yourself, you don't care what's happening to the rest of the family.

The only *help* Suze gave to couple #1 was a new excuse/reason why blondie only thinks about herself and why she has caused her family to loose everything.

The husband had to know what was going on. He buried his head, where I do not know.

As harsh as this sounds you are right. It was complete neglect of her children. What I was surprised about is Suze did not mention if they had house insurance or wills?

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

This couple is the closest I've seen to bankruptcy as I can remember. I think they will go into bankruptcy. They have a lot of issues such as child neglect. The woman looked really good when you first looked at her, but then you realize that the hair is dyed and it is expensive jewelry and clothing that made her look stunning. I don't think I would relocate if I was them. Too expensive and the children's friends are valuable. However, with no money they may lose a lot of their friends.

 

[kaseyC]

Not to go off on another topic but this is one of the major problems in this country. People making decent money, probably worker for smaller companies, that do not have the access to affordable care. His company may not offer a family plan and they probably didn't want to pay for a private policy.

yeah, I can understand those situations. I guess what I really meant was how could he have all that stuff, 3 cars, a fancy house and throwing B-day parties costing thousands of dollars but not make the effort to get health insurance. Totally insane. This family chose to their material comfort over their children's health.

Edited to Add. The amount of money she spen on her personal appearance, murals in her house and silk plants could have covered at least a years worth of health care. IMO, she cannot afford the "luxury" of staying home.

 

[Ride Junkie]

Maybe the woman (Felice) is manic-depressive. It seems that power shopping is pretty common when in a manic state. Seems like she's trying to fill a void by always having new stuff. I just don't understand why, after buying the kids new clothes, she felt they needed to throw out the current clothes.

 

[Christine]

yeah, I can understand those situations. I guess what I really meant was how could he have all that stuff, 3 cars, a fancy house and throwing B-day parties costing thousands of dollars but not make the effort to get health insurance. Totally insane. This family chose to their material comfort over their children's health.

Oh, yeah, I definitely agree with. There were just a few comments made about "why doesn't the father get health insurance through his company" like that is a guaranteed thing. For many people it is not. But I agree, they certainly had the means to go out and buy a private policy.

 

[Chicago526]

Is it my imangination, or has the definition of "middle class" changed? Since when does middle class mean designer labels and $4 daily lattes and 3500 sqft homes with gormet kitchens (that go un-used because the family eats out 2 out of 3 meals a day).

DH and I make about $100k combined, pre tax. In this part of IL, it doesn't get you far. Comfortable sure, but nothing like the lifestyle these people tried (and failed) to buy for themselves. We live in a 60 year old 1300 sqft fixer upper on a postage sized lot, have two cars (only one with a loan) no kids and are getting by, but don't have much left over. We don't buy clothes or things for the house (other than nessesary repairs and remodeling), we don't travel much (the Disney trips in my sig have been just about the only trips I've made in the past 10 years, and those were heavily discounted since I work as a travel agent). Our biggest extravigance is eating out (very bad habit that we've tried and failed to correct, we're trying again right now! Hey, we're not perfect.) but otherwise we really don't spend friviously. Even our wedding cost 1/2 the area average!

But DH often says that he feels like a failure because we don't have that big fancy house in a good school district and three fancy cars, that we can't afford for me not to work once we have kids, can't afford to take a huge vacation every year, can't afford to buy all the stuff we want at the mall. I know better, but DH feels like he isn't providing for me (not that I ask him to!). I keep telling him that this kind of lifestyle ISN'T middle class, or even upper middle class, it's really a lower UPPER class lifestyle. But we are all shown/told via movies and tv that this is now "average". And easy credit makes it look obtainable, but it's really all a mirage.

I just don't get it. I don't get the scale of it, the sheer numbers of people who sacrifice their future financial security for the material wants of today.

 

[agnes!]

That woman ought to have her gonads removed from her body, so she can't bring any more children into this world, all she does is basicaly torture them - what an poor excuse of a human being...those poor babies.

I think Oprah should have had Dr. Phil and Judge Judy on to talk to the two nominal adults in that household. Now THAT would be one serious smack-down!
And then have Child Protective Services waiting in the wings. If I were a close relative to these kids I would be taking Mommy & Daddy to court and suing for custody. Britney is a better mother than Mrs. Narcissistic Sociopath (no remorse, no feeling for others, totally focussed on self, etc., etc) I'd FORCE that so-called man to get some serious psycholgical counseling and imo the so-called woman needs to be institutionalized.

agnes!

 

[agnes!]

Is it my imangination, or has the definition of "middle class" changed? Since when does middle class mean designer labels and $4 daily lattes and 3500 sqft homes with gormet kitchens (that go un-used because the family eats out 2 out of 3 meals a day).

DH and I make about $100k combined, pre tax. In this part of IL, it doesn't get you far. Comfortable sure, but nothing like the lifestyle these people tried (and failed) to buy for themselves. We live in a 60 year old 1300 sqft fixer upper on a postage sized lot, have two cars (only one with a loan) no kids and are getting by, but don't have much left over. We don't buy clothes or things for the house (other than nessesary repairs and remodeling), we don't travel much (the Disney trips in my sig have been just about the only trips I've made in the past 10 years, and those were heavily discounted since I work as a travel agent). Our biggest extravigance is eating out (very bad habit that we've tried and failed to correct, we're trying again right now! Hey, we're not perfect.) but otherwise we really don't spend friviously. Even our wedding cost 1/2 the area average!

But DH often says that he feels like a failure because we don't have that big fancy house in a good school district and three fancy cars, that we can't afford for me not to work once we have kids, can't afford to take a huge vacation every year, can't afford to buy all the stuff we want at the mall. I know better, but DH feels like he isn't providing for me (not that I ask him to!). I keep telling him that this kind of lifestyle ISN'T middle class, or even upper middle class, it's really a lower UPPER class lifestyle. But we are all shown/told via movies and tv that this is now "average". And easy credit makes it look obtainable, but it's really all a mirage.

I just don't get it. I don't get the scale of it, the sheer numbers of people who sacrifice their future financial security for the material wants of today.

Awwwwww, he sounds like a sweetie. You have yourself a *real* man, who want to provide for his family. I hear so many times about irresponsible couples that don't want to take care of each other...wow. You are one blessed woman. And he is blessed to have found *you*. You two will be on Oprah in five or ten years as an example of a happy family with good teeth and needed MRIs and health insurance who isn't going bankrupt .

Caustic envy is one of the worst things in my psyche that I have to deal with. I want what others have, especially my siblings - their houses, their careers, their lifestyles. Also, it is *hard* to see things on TV, and in magazines and on the Internet and to not be able to have them right NOW. Deferred gratification is almost a lost art form.
It is hard to be content - consider it a great gift if you have the gift of contentment. Notice that I am not saying one shouldn't strive to improve oneself or to move ahead, I am talking more about inner contentment, and choosing to be happy, and choosing to *not* be in a constant state of roiling envy.
Sometimes, it is just hard to be satisfied with what you got. But to quote Joni Mitchell, sometimes "You don't know what you got 'til it's gone."

agnes!

 

[Chicago526]

Awwwwww, he sounds like a sweetie. You have yourself a *real* man, who want to provide for his family. I hear so many times about irresponsible couples that don't want to take care of each other...wow. You are one blessed woman. And he is blessed to have found *you*. You two will be on Oprah in five or ten years as an example of a happy family with good teeth and needed MRIs and health insurance who isn't going bankrupt .

Caustic envy is one of the worst things in my psyche that I have to deal with. I want what others have, especially my siblings - their houses, their careers, their lifestyles. Also, it is *hard* to see things on TV, and in magazines and on the Internet and to not be able to have them right NOW. Deferred gratification is almost a lost art form.
It is hard to be content - consider it a great gift if you have the gift of contentment. Notice that I am not saying one shouldn't strive to improve oneself or to move ahead, I am talking more about inner contentment, and choosing to be happy, and choosing to *not* be in a constant state of roiling envy.
Sometimes, it is just hard to be satisfied with what you got. But to quote Joni Mitchell, sometimes "You don't know what you got 'til it's gone."

agnes!

Awe, thanks! As you can see by my tag, I do have the best husband, ever! And I'm thankful for him (and what we have) every day! I just need to keep reminding DH that we are just starting out (our 2nd wedding aniversary was this past Monday) and that in a few more years we'll be much better off, the car loan will be gone, we won't be spending as much fixing the house up since it will be mostly done by then, things like that. We'll get there, we just need to be patient.

 

[kribit]

Is it my imangination, or has the definition of "middle class" changed? Since when does middle class mean designer labels and $4 daily lattes and 3500 sqft homes with gormet kitchens (that go un-used because the family eats out 2 out of 3 meals a day).

DH and I make about $100k combined, pre tax. In this part of IL, it doesn't get you far. Comfortable sure, but nothing like the lifestyle these people tried (and failed) to buy for themselves. We live in a 60 year old 1300 sqft fixer upper on a postage sized lot, have two cars (only one with a loan) no kids and are getting by, but don't have much left over. We don't buy clothes or things for the house (other than nessesary repairs and remodeling), we don't travel much (the Disney trips in my sig have been just about the only trips I've made in the past 10 years, and those were heavily discounted since I work as a travel agent). Our biggest extravigance is eating out (very bad habit that we've tried and failed to correct, we're trying again right now! Hey, we're not perfect.) but otherwise we really don't spend friviously. Even our wedding cost 1/2 the area average!

But DH often says that he feels like a failure because we don't have that big fancy house in a good school district and three fancy cars, that we can't afford for me not to work once we have kids, can't afford to take a huge vacation every year, can't afford to buy all the stuff we want at the mall. I know better, but DH feels like he isn't providing for me (not that I ask him to!). I keep telling him that this kind of lifestyle ISN'T middle class, or even upper middle class, it's really a lower UPPER class lifestyle. But we are all shown/told via movies and tv that this is now "average". And easy credit makes it look obtainable, but it's really all a mirage.

I just don't get it. I don't get the scale of it, the sheer numbers of people who sacrifice their future financial security for the material wants of today.

See, but your family is doing it the right way. A lot of the families I know have used their homes as a revolving lines of credit and are piled high in debt because they want the new pool, and the new boat, and the new fancy $50k car. We live in a neighborhood and our house is definately the smallest one on the street and pretty no frills. We still water our lawn with the sprinklers you have to move yourself.

My husband drives a nice car but we saved up for it and paid cash and my car has 80k miles on it and is 4 years old. I can't think of one car on my street that isn't older than 2 years and most of them are luxury cars. DH and I couldn't figure it out for the longest time because he makes a good salary until.... all the for sale signs started going up. It's obvious that the "keeping up with the Jones" has finally put people under and it's really sad.

My dad always taught me that if you don't have the cash to pay for something, then you shouldn't be buying it. Now, there is no way possible we could afford to pay cash for a house, but we tried to buy a home that was moderately priced with a reasonable mortgage payment.

 

[Chicago526]

See, but your family is doing it the right way. A lot of the families I know have used their homes as a revolving lines of credit and are piled high in debt because they want the new pool, and the new boat, and the new fancy $50k car. We live in a neighborhood and our house is definately the smallest one on the street and pretty no frills. We still water our lawn with the sprinklers you have to move yourself.

My husband drives a nice car but we saved up for it and paid cash and my car has 80k miles on it and is 4 years old. I can't think of one car on my street that isn't older than 2 years and most of them are luxury cars. DH and I couldn't figure it out for the longest time because he makes a good salary until.... all the for sale signs started going up. It's obvious that the "keeping up with the Jones" has finally put people under and it's really sad.

My dad always taught me that if you don't have the cash to pay for something, then you shouldn't be buying it. Now, there is no way possible we could afford to pay cash for a house, but we tried to buy a home that was moderately priced with a reasonable mortgage payment.

Our yard wouldn't even fit a pool! (we do want a hot tub someday though! ) Seriously, we aren't perfect, we do spend more in some areas than we should, and we do have some CC debt from some not-so-smart things we both did prior to marriage (nothing huge, but it's there). But, we haven't added a dime to our CC debt since getting married, we've even managed to pay it down some and I hope to have all the consumer debt paid off in a few years (it would go faster but the house repairs really ARE nessesary and take up a lot of "descresionary" income).

What boggles the mind is how much people go overboard, and how many people are doing so. I just don't understand their ability to be in such denial for so long about their spending habits.