Tricky Question: Who divorced who?

[NY Disney fan]

Want to know what the general consensus is. Trying to settle something:

If a married man leaves his wife/family to go be with/live with another woman, who is responsible for the divorce....the man, who did not file, or the wife, who officially filed?

Does the wife, who filed, have any responsibility for the divorce?

 

[Handbag Lady]

Want to know what the general consensus is. Trying to settle something:

If a married man leaves his wife/family to go be with/live with another woman, who is responsible for the divorce....the man, who did not file, or the wife, who officially filed?

Does the wife, who filed, have any responsibility for the divorce?

The man? The wife didn't choose for him to leave.

 

[Jeafl]

My first thought was that the husband was responsible for being separated, but if the wife is the one that files, then technically she is one responsible for
initiating the actual divorce.

It could be that I am not not exactly understanding your question though...

 

[JessicaR]

You mean to pay the lawyer fees?

 

[Pakey]

My ex-husband left me for someone else.

We split the cost of the divorce 50/50.

 

[NY Disney fan]

It could be that I am not not exactly understanding your question though...

My question relates to a religious issue, which I won't post here so the mods don't go crazy. I just want to know morally, who is responsible.

 

[bicker]

The law may divide up assets using a different formula, that factors in transgressions such as being caught in infidelity, but that's a matter of financial assets, only. Morally, everything created from within a marriage is divided equally, including the fault for its dissolution. Any other division just leads people, morally, into their own brick wall of excuses and equivocations, which serves no one any constructive purpose whatsoever.

 

[RunningGirl]

My question relates to a religious issue, which I won't post here so the mods don't go crazy. I just want to know morally, who is responsible.

Morally he is.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Morally he is. Both were probably responsible for the marriage getting to a point that it was not going to survive--but he left to live with another which, all legality aside, would be (to me) morally a divorce.

 

[diznygirl]

My question relates to a religious issue, which I won't post here so the mods don't go crazy. I just want to know morally, who is responsible.

Morally, I would give the husband the blame for breaking the marriage contract. Legally, the wife would be responsible for divorcing his sorry behind and taking him for all he's worth.

 

[golfgal]

Morally the answer is obvious IN OUR CULTURE, however in another culture it may not be so.

 

[browneyes106]

If the wife files she is responisble for the divorce. My aunt filed for divorce from her first husband after he had an affair and impregnanted another woman. They split the divorce costs and he gave her an additional settlement since they adopted a child together.

 

[Buckalew11]

Biblically, he is responsible.

And I still think he is responsible...he chose to leave. He probably doesn't want to pay for his new choice in life so he puts off filing. The wife goes ahead and files. It is hard to live in limbo. I hoping my sister does this soon.

 

[sbell111]

Without knowing any of the facts that preceded the husband leaving, it's really impossible to answer your underlying question.

Certainly, there is almost no chance of the two individuals coming to a concensus as to who's fault the failure of the marriage is.

As for who pays for the divorce, that's something to hash out during the procedings.

 

[beattyfamily]

IMHO,

Morally, him.
Legally, him.

He left her for another woman, what other choice does she have? Live in limbo? Wait for this jerk to do it?

But, I'm sure technically, legally, it's her.

 

[FergieTCat]

Search google for "Abandoning Marriage". You'll find the answer.

 

[sbell111]

Search google for "Abandoning Marriage". You'll find the answer.

Without knowing 'the rest of the story', it is impossible to conclude that this is a case of marriage abandonment.

 

[bicker]

Having seen so many replies asserting that there is a specific fault to be assessed, I'm disappointed to have seen nothing posted in this thread that shows that doing so serves a constructive end. AFAIC, it achieves nothing. It only serves to foster conflict, and as a foundation for corruption of purpose. For folks expressing a perspective that there one side or the other is at fault, please outline the benefits of allocating fault. How is either partner or the children assisted by that determination and allocation? What value does such allocation afford society?

 

[Magic Mom]

Without knowing 'the rest of the story', it is impossible to conclude that this is a case of marriage abandonment.

I agree.

 

[JessicaR]

And that's why there is no benefit whatsoever to presuming to determine moral fault is anything other than 50/50. Having seen so many replies asserting that there is a specific fault to be assessed, I'm disappointed to have seen nothing posted in this thread that shows that doing so serves a constructive end. AFAIC, it achieves nothing. It only serves to foster conflict, and as a foundation for corruption of purpose.

Yeah I'm going with this. You said it better than I, who was stumbling over keys trying to get my thoughts out.