Traveling with family

[kanga24roos]

I have a few questions for people who have traveled with family or friends to WDW. My DH , 4 DS's and I are driving down for our 2nd trip in April. We went in 2005 with just us and it was great this time we are planning to go with my brothers family which is he, his DW 2 dd's and 2 ds's. So yes everyone thats 4 adults and EIGHT children. Ages 13, 10 , 9,7, 4, 4 ,2 ,2 . I'm really nervous, not about the sheer number of people but of the differences between us. I'm very much a get up and go person while on vacation but I'm not sure about my SIL I don't want to end up hating her if she slows my family down. Any help appreciated

 

[mouseketeer_mom]

I've never been to WDW with family, friends or otherwise but I have traveled with family. Lots of family, lots of times.

I really think the key to making the vacation a success is to NOT try to do everything together. If your family likes to get up and get to the parks at opening and your brothers family starts the day a little slower, just plan to meet up with them later. Maybe agree on a few ADRs together, in advance. Or come up with a flexible schedule ahead of time that allows for everyone to have some time to do thier own thing. An example might be : We'll have lunch together every day, see one show together every day and catch either the parade or fireworks together. This will keep you in the same park, but everyone can go at their own pace. With two 2 year olds and two 4 year olds, somebody is gonna need a nap at some point. Maybe one adult can do nap time while the rest of the group sticks together at the park.

It can be an amazing, memorable family vacation as long as your expectations are realistic.

 

[becca011906]

GOOD luck! We did a trip with another family, our kids were 12m, 3y, 5y, and me and dh then they were dw and dh then kids ages 8 and 11, needless to say what we wanted to do with your kids and what they wanted to do with thier kids is way differant, it was hard b/c they wanted to be with us all the time, we had been to disney many times before and they had never been, they didn't have quite so much saved to go as we did, we let the kids pick out something every day at the parks and they didn't so their kids wined, yeah whined, they were older but much more whiny then out kids, it was a LONG trip, you need to find out before you go their ideas of who they want their vacation to go and let them know how you want your vacation to go, if the ideas arent the same or they clash a long, i would suggest you all make it known that you dont' have to be together 24/7 if your plans dont' all match up...
how are you doing the hotel/resort thing??? We all shared our fair field time share rooms, it was a 2 bedroom so thier family took the guest room with 2 queen beds, me and my dh and youngest all slept in the kingsize bed room, and my younger kids slept on the pull out in the living room right outside our bedroom, the two bedrooms and two bathrooms were off limits to eachother to kinda give us all our own space and privicy when needed, ect...

but we will NEVER do it again with a family that's we aren't all on the same page with... this trip we will be taking my mom and my step dad (they got married over the summer, but been together for over 10 years) this is kinda our wedding gift to them... but they will do what they want and we will do as we please, they already said the might go to disney 1 day, that's it, other then that they will just hang out at the resort and enjoy a quite vacation... we are looking forward to this trip!

 

[bellarella]

I think the first thing is to realize there is no "right" way to vacation. You're concerned that you'll hate her for slowing your family down. She could just as easily hate you for making a relaxing vacation stressful. Your styles may be different, but neither of you should pull the "they are ruining it for me" card.

I think the best way to do this is to plan a compromise. Carve out together time and carve out family time. Each of you will get to vacation in your own "style" when you are on your own. Each of you will have to compromise when you are doing something together. Maybe have your family hit the parks early on your own when it is easiest to get a lot accomplished quickly (or at least quicker). Then meet for lunch and spend a couple of hours together. Then break up again and meet up again in the evening.

Communication will be the key. Figure out what your priorities are. Figure out what their priorities are. Work on a compromise as to how much time you spend together. Then sit back, relax, and don't worry about it. This is going to be a different kind of Disney vacation for your family. If you accept that and look at it as a way to enjoy some family time and have your expectations set lower you may be very pleasantly surprised. If you try to make it a "normal" vacation for your family that your BIL's family happens to be along for, you are setting yourself up for a frustrating experience and quite possibly long-term family fall out.

Good luck!!

 

[margiemc]

We (me, DH, DD8) went with my best friend and her DD7 2 years ago. We went to the parks and did some things together, but then they did their thing for awhile and we did ours (her DD7 was a daredevil, ours, not so much . We had walkie-talkies if we were still going to be in the same park or just came up with a time and location if we were meeting up elsewhere. On our last full day there, we each wanted to go to a different park, so we met for dinner in Epcot. We didn't need to be together all the time, and it worked out for everyone! I would definitely travel with them again.

 

[kanga24roos]

Thanks for all the input. Everyone seems to be on the don't try to be together 24/7 page which in theory I completely agree with , however I know that my kids are looking forward to going on rides etc with thier cousins and I know my brother is more the vacationer that I am it's really just the wife I'm comcerned with ..she has the ability to suck the fun out of anything, she's already tried to cancel the trip once(my brother won't let her). I'm hoping to all get together after the holidays and work out expectations etc. to help. I really want it to be special for everyone.

 

[kanga24roos]

how are you doing the hotel/resort thing??? :



We are staying off-site at the buena vista suites. SO each family gets it's own mini suite. It should work out well

 

[budbeerlady]

Good luck, lots of pixie dust if you do attempt it. Everyone has a diff idea of a fun vacation. Mine is to know all about WDw before I go, have a plan of attack. Start Early, follow the ride list I have so I have little waits and go back to my onsite hotel around 2 or 3 to relax before dinner. We took my in-laws last week, I will NEVER do it again! It isnt worth the frustration or the stress. We even had connecting rooms at the hotel (the TA did this, I wouldnt do that again for the life of me!)

If you do the trip agree on maybe dinner together and call that good. Do your thing and let them do theirs. I am still trying to simmer down to write my trip report, if I wrote it now I would come off as a real @#!*! so I need to wait a couple of weeks and let the memory fade.

 

[HeatherC]

We've done a couple large family trips and everyone has a different idea of what to do when. The best thing we did was bring our Nextels to keep in touch, and plan a few meals together where we could meet up. In addition, everyone had their own cars to come and go as they please. This worked great since some with little ones were up early and ready to go. But teenagers like to stay out later and sleep in. Our trips were all awesome, but you have to go with the mindset that no one should get mad about who wants to do what. If you keep the plan flexible, things seem to go smoother and feelings don't tend to get hurt.

Have a wonderful time!
HeatherC

 

[shellytc]

We do a lot of family trips. In fact we are planning one for this Jan. Me and My DH and DS, My Dmom and Ddad, My Daunt and Duncle, their DD and DSIL and DGC (in college), Their other DS and DDIL and their 2 children, and DDIL's parents, and we are meeting my other Daunt and Duncle who live there in the winter... whew. No, we are not all staying together... : )

Anyway, we make rules: Rule number one is this is vacation and everyone should have fun on vacation. that is the only should. We do not expect everyone to be together at everything.

Rule number two: No whining!! If you want to come, come... but don't complain about it. You could have done something different!!

Rule number three: Just keep others informed of what you are doing, that way if someone wants to throw in with you, they can.

And finallly, have fun.

We do stay in touch with cell phones. It is amazing how you'll get that call 1/2 way through the day, where are you? We want to come over and meet up with you. And that is great!!

Have fun, and don't let her suck the life out of your vacation. State the rules early, and then if they are violated all you have to do is say (with a smile) remember rule #2.

Shelly

 

[LuvOrlando]

I've never been to WDW with family, friends or otherwise but I have traveled with family. Lots of family, lots of times.

I really think the key to making the vacation a success is to NOT try to do everything together. If your family likes to get up and get to the parks at opening and your brothers family starts the day a little slower, just plan to meet up with them later. Maybe agree on a few ADRs together, in advance. Or come up with a flexible schedule ahead of time that allows for everyone to have some time to do thier own thing. An example might be : We'll have lunch together every day, see one show together every day and catch either the parade or fireworks together. This will keep you in the same park, but everyone can go at their own pace. With two 2 year olds and two 4 year olds, somebody is gonna need a nap at some point. Maybe one adult can do nap time while the rest of the group sticks together at the park.

It can be an amazing, memorable family vacation as long as your expectations are realistic.

I 100% agree

 

[fofinia]

For the last 5 years we have traveled to WDW with my DSis and her family. Currently 2 DD's. And we currently have 2 DD's. And we stay together all day. The cousins want to be together. So my DSis and I plan out what we are going to do. We break it down day by day and decide which park to do in the morning and which in the afternoon/dinner. We both talk about what rides are most important to us to do (and for the kids). And then we decide where we want to eat dinner. We usually do a Table service dinner most nights of the week. So we will plan that all out in advance so we can make ADR's.

Now that being said...Most of the time we have a great time together and we enjoy staying together the whole time. Occasionally, my DH hasn't wanted to go back to the room for a nap/quiet time in the middle of the day. My DSis and her DH always do this and they go to the world more often than us. But my DH would totally commando the whole time we are there. So if he's getting cranky about it, I may decide to stay in the park with him and my sis will leave. And then we'll meet up before dinner. We always stay in the same resort by the way.

And then the only other thing I can think of that was a wrench was when I was pregnant on one trip. And well I was a little grouchy. So I decided not to go to a park one day. And that didn't sit well with anyone in the group. But I insisted and so we did our own thing for the morning off-site. But by the afternoon I felt better and was ready to meet up with them again. And it worked well. After the fact they understood I needed, just a break period and it wasn't an insult to them.

So if you are going to stay together. I would just make sure to ask the DW especially if you're concerned of her, which rides in which park she/her family wants to do. You will need to head somewhere intially and it just helps to have a plan. Even if you only plan it as you are walking to the park. We usually plan so we are alternating parks day to day.

Hope this helps.

By the way, I have traveled with others besides my sis and it hasn't worked as well. If your group wants to stay together, unfortunately one person has to become the "tourguide" or nothing will get accomplished and you'll end up in circles.

Good luck. have fun!!

 

[kanga24roos]

By the way, I have traveled with others besides my sis and it hasn't worked as well. If your group wants to stay together, unfortunately one person has to become the "tourguide" or nothing will get accomplished and you'll end up in circles.

Good luck. have fun!!

This is a big fear of mine...that I will become the "tour guide" and she will usse it to make everyones life miserable if we aren't doing what she wanted because I can't read her mind.

 

[fofinia]

You can be a good tourguide. It doesn't have to be a bad thing. That's why we all talk about what is most important to do. Like I may have a particular show I want to see. So we check the time for the show and then we plan around it. Or my DD might really want to Dumbo. So we head straight away to Dumbo so she can get on it.

So ask her kids what is important to them. How can she complain, too much, if you are doing things for her kids? I don't know her obviously, but sometimes just saying "hey so what's most important to you to get done in which park? Cause you know I don't want anyone getting annoyed that they didn't see something they wanted to." Sometimes if you preface something like that then the annoyance isn't as bad. And probably you will have to ask her a few times. Like now when you're in the planning stages. Another time when you are say having dinner the night before and talking about the plans for the next day. And then even walking into and thru the park.

I know it seems like a pain. But unless she is just a mean old witch all the time (which she may be) then you should have some success. And worst case scenario you could just say you need a break from each other and take the afternoon separate say. She may say mean things about you or whatever. But you don't want to ruin your vacation over it.

I'm sure you'll make it work. and have fun. Maybe even try mentioning to your brother that you are concerned about everyone not getting to do what they want. Then maybe he'll come up with a suggestion.

Good luck.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I've been on 4 trips with other folks and only 1 turned out really badly. The 1st was with 2 couples who were very good friends & it all went smooth because we split up after getting to each park & met for meals in between. The 2nd trip went Ok for me but DH was driven nuts by my relatives hysterical & dramatic personalities. The 3rd trip was fine for everyone because we split up with the in-laws every lunchtime to put the kids down for a nap & rarely caught up with them again

My 4th trip was the trip from hades because a 3rd couple in common invited themselves along with us & another family. I WANTED to keep our togetherness to a minimum but when the uninvited mom started making plans with the people we liked I felt compelled to join them because I began to feel left out & didn't want my kids to feel left out. This was a huge mistake. Really, I should have left them off on their own because the uninvited person absolutely ruined my entire trip. 1. She refused to help plan or contribute ANY opinions as I did plan so I had a big bullseye on me for her to shoot down all my hard work as failures. I should have just planned for my family and given the others a list of my restaurants & times to join 'if they wish' with the WDW-dine phone # & left it to them. 2. This family only eats veggies & fish so they complained about all the food. 3. This family wanted to go cheap AND refused to be forthcoming about this fact. We just don't do counter service at WDW much so instead of being adults they just walked SO SLOWLY that we missed almost every reservation I had made. 4. I always get so excited about the places we visit & talk about them. When we finally got to whatever I had raved about she shot absolutely everything down. She hated the Polynesian. She thought the water tasted just fine until admitting on the 3rd day it wasn't so great. Everything was too much $. The busses stunk. 5. Last minute they cancelled our group trip to Universal & ended up manipulating me into paying too much for transportation that didn't work for us alone. We went alone with a rental car after shelling out tons for a Hummerzine. 6. The other families refused to tip ANYONE so the CM's kept giving ME dirty looks because it was all in my name.

I could keep going on but I think you get the point.

Uggh. I guess it was my mistake was that I allowed her to manipulate me. I knew I should have kept my distance but being the compulsive DISer I am I couldn't help myself but plan it all out and her, being the compulsive b%$^& she is couldn't help but ruin it for me.

My only advice is to be OK with going off on your own and make sure you guys do it often Then when SIL ruins DB's day you can lend a quietly sympathetic ear & walk away.

PS- DH felt so bad for me that he brought me back 4 months later if I promised to never ever bring anyone else with us again. I do hate this person now & we barely see each other any more (she fights with EVERYONE she knows so it was no surprise). I don't even talk to the family we were supposed to be with because being around this witch brought out the very worst in me & I lost a 'real' friend because of it. I really wish I had stuck to my original plan but hind sight is 20/20 isn't it?