Traveling Companions From Hell

[calypso*a*go-go]

Our last trip to WDW. This was a family reunion from HELL! All I can say is it will NEVER happen again. I lived a lot of what you had written and add a few fights, JERRY SPRINGER episode 1-5 and there was our last vacation!

I'm so sorry to read this...I remember how excited you were about the trip when we met you last summer. We recently went to DL with some friends and I thought it would be so much fun to go with another family. We did have a good time but it seemed that all we did was waste precious hours trying to find something that would please everyone. I think we learned a valuable lesson. We would love to travel with them again but would definitely schedule an equal amount of time each day with just our own family.

 

[JimB.]

It was a relief when the trip came to an end. The friendship did not end, but we vowed never to travel with this couple again.

Been there, done that, got that check in the box.

 

[JoeEpcotRocks]

We've never invited anyone with us, but may some day as we've recently joined the DVC.

We're big planners. I would show them our complete itinerary, complete with menus and prices, and say here's the plan - but you can go on your own when you want - just let us know. I suppose that sounds good in theory
Has this worked for anyone?

 

[SueOKW]

That works for me - - that's what I do with my own family! My DDs and I plan what we want and if the sleepy boys want to join in that's fine.

I think my husband may have actually regretting not getting rolling sooner - I know he missed quite a bit this trip because we got up and got out! I wasn't going to play his game of arriving at 11:00 and being exhausted and cranky at 4:00.

Maybe a few more trips and he'll be trained... but in the meantime, yes, I think your idea would work.

 

[lllovell]

It took me a years worth of nagging about getting going sooner for hubby to FINALLY try getting to the parks at opening and going back to the room for a 2-3 hour break during the heat of the day to realize how much more relaxing the trip was for our whole family. Sometimes we didn't even go back to the parks if we had done all we wanted to do there for the day. Swimming and a relaxing dinner, a trip to DTD, many other activities were available for us and the boys didn't feel like they missed out on anything at the parks.

Now, I just wish we were going back sooner. He is much more willing to go to WDW and really has started enjoying himself as much as he used to just go to enjoy the children's reactions and good time.

Our only trip to WDW was with friends with their daughter (2 years old) last April for spring break. We had a fantastic time for two reasons. They were perfectly content letting us "plan" the big activities for the day and we were perfectly ok when they said that their daughter needed a night off (she refused to nap that day) and we went to DTD and met them later for swimming. Big plans together, the rest if we wanted to go together we did (which every day but one, we did things as a group) and it worked out fantastically.

 

[crisi]

We've never invited anyone with us, but may some day as we've recently joined the DVC.

We're big planners. I would show them our complete itinerary, complete with menus and prices, and say here's the plan - but you can go on your own when you want - just let us know. I suppose that sounds good in theory
Has this worked for anyone?

Its worked for us. We've been with my parents and my MIL.

I think one of the huge deals is dealing with expectations....particularly around money. Be clear on what you are paying for (if anything), what you expect their expenses to be. Also try to be clear and sensitive to someone's financial state. People who never cook in their kitchens figure out how to make casseroles and hot pot meals when traveling with some for whom dinner out is a burden.

The othe expectation to be clear on is "together time." If one person wants to be together all the time, and others want to strike out on their own, hard feelings can occur. Particularly when the person who wants to strike out on their own feels held back by the together person.

And then there are the room horror stories. People backing out past cancellation point and stiffing you with points. Make sure everyone in the party understands what cancellation penalties you'll incur.

The other one that comes up is the "extra" uninvited guests. I think these are my favorite horror stories for the shock value. People invite their cousins Bob and Sue, to discover Bob and Sue then invite their friend Ted along, too - he'll sleep in the bathtub!

 

[kathleena]

We've never invited anyone with us, but may some day as we've recently joined the DVC.

We're big planners. I would show them our complete itinerary, complete with menus and prices, and say here's the plan - but you can go on your own when you want - just let us know. I suppose that sounds good in theory
Has this worked for anyone?

In our case - works good in theory. Reality has been different.

Be sure you know their expectations. My DSD expects (I think unrealistically) that a disney trip is family time and when her DH doesn't want to do something that it equates to "doesn't want to spend time with family". I just don't see it that way myself.

Also - DSIL is a smoker and he would find a smoking spot and plunk his **** down and want to smoke a couple and expected us to wait for him. After a couple of days of waiting and 15 minutes turning into 30 and 45, DSD and I decided no more. We told him where we were going and how to get there and then met up with him later.

I suspect all families are different!

 

[TnRobin]

Compare to some of your stories this is mild, but here is my little tale.

We only have one child (DS - 10). I have always wanted Matt to have someone go with him to WDW so he would have a pal. About 3 years ago I decided to invite my nephew then age 9 (DS was 7) to go. My Brother and his family had been experiencing a bad time financially, so I thought this would be a great break for thier son to get away from it all. DS has always loved and looked up to his cousin. So this would be great - right? WRONG.

I should have known it would all go horrible by the plane flight down. On the flight down he decided to announce to the entire plane that the change in altitude made his "anatomically correct name for private parts" uncomfortable. (Yes he was 9)

Well we check into a lovely studio at BWV that overlooked the pool. Only problem with it was the lock on the bedroom door was not functioning. No big deal. (more later). So off to the parks we go. While at the parks, my nephew is such a pain. He complains about everything. Everytime he gets off a ride he states - Aunt Robin, do you know what I didn't like about that ride. (I kid you not.) He then decides to tell me that I don't love my son because I work. And that his father should work more hours so they can have more stuff. (BTW my DB was working 10 hour shifts, six days a week) I handle this all as tactfully as possible, but still have to add that I am home everyday when DS gets off the bus so working or staying at home makes no difference in the time I spend with DS.

One day during the weekend, we let the boys play one of the arcade games at Dinoland - against my better judgement. Of course neither win a prize. My nephew (of 9 years old) breaks down on the pavement and throws a tantrum. (no really) Real tears are rolling down his face. He insist that the operator cheated and "made him lose." I lost it with him and tell him if he doesn't stop immediately, he will be spending the rest of the afternoon sitting in the room. Amazing, the tears and tantrum stop instantly.

Let me add that my nephew is very smart, not a genius, but very smart. The trouble is he knows this and thinks he knows more than adults do. You know like trying to tell the monorail driver how to operate the monorail correctly and arguing with the bus driver over the drivers playful banter with the kids. (I know that driver had to hate us)

The final straw came when we were getting ready to go swim. I go in the bedroom to change. I tell my nephew that I will be changing and to not come in that the lock is broken. He insist that I am wrong, that the lock is not broken. I tell him it doesn't matter, don't come in. We you can guess it, I am in the middle of changing and the door opens. I was ready for this, I had stood right behind the door just for this reason. Thank goodness he saw nothing, but still...

By the end of the trip, not only did we not want my nephew to travel with us again, my DS had asked that he never come again.

 

[JandD Mom]

I had to hold myself back from saying, "Oh just go ahead and buy the @#$& Mickey ice cream bar and shut up!"

I have to tell you that I love this thread. DH and I had this discussion because I want to avoid going away with some friends who I believe would turn our trip into THE TRIP.

When we go to WDW we are very structured and always have an itinerary. By doing that, we have always covered a lot of ground and always been able to have time in the day to do "whatever". Whenever we have had a haphazard trip a lot of time in the day is wasted over "should we go here, or there?" only to find something is too crowded etc.

The friends who want to go away with us are not capable of making plans without changing them. Even if something is their idea, they change the plans last minute (and avoid having fun) for nonsensical reasons . In addition, these friends are not capable of doing something on the spur of the moment. So when we have our free time, they would not be able to say "oh, that looks cool, let's go there." Nor would they be able to eat at a time that was 5 minutes later or earlier than their kids' usual meal times. Get the picture? I know it sounds a little contradictory, but let me sum up by saying they have a very hard time deviating from their home routine in any way.

Anyway, it is hard enough to make plans with these folks at home, the last thing I want is to go away with them and get stressed out. The problem is, DS does not share my concerns.

So I plan to avoid talks of trips with these folks in the future!

 

[JandD Mom]

We're big planners. I would show them our complete itinerary, complete with menus and prices, and say here's the plan - but you can go on your own when you want - just let us know. I suppose that sounds good in theory
Has this worked for anyone?

Joe, we have done this twice and it worked like a charm both times. The first time we went with friends who even stayed somewhere different. We met most mornings, stayed together until early afternoon then split. Most evenings (but not all) we met up again. It was a very nice trip.

The second time we had a trip with 12 family members including us. We had a "come if you want or go if you want, just let us know" rule. It worked very well and we had no conflict. It was a very nice trip.

We actually went on a cruise last winter with 2 other families. We followed the same rule and all had a really good time -- sometimes together, and sometimes apart.

 

[Kelly&John]

OMG!! I'm gald it's not just me!! I don't think we will be inviting anyone again after the last couple trips we've had.

Trip #1 was with a friend of ours who hadn't been to Disney for over 7 years but would argue with us about where things were...or used to be. It was a very argumentative week. We were staying on points in a one bedroom at BWV and let her join us (for free). The first thing she states when entering the room is "its okay but certainly no Grand Floridian". I think that takes nerve when someone isn't paying a cent for the room. She's on the do not invite list.

Trip #2 was with a friend of DH from work. He shows up trashed when it's time to get to the airport - both going and coming home. I don't know if he was afraid to fly or what but what a pain! He was very clingy type of person and had no input as to what HE wanted to do - except drink. I was glad I wasn't able there the whole time - work commitments. He's off the list too.

On the other hand, we had a wonderful trip with my DS, BIL and my two nephews. So, it hasn't been a total disaster. We'll see this October. We've invited some friends who have a tendency to change their plans at the last minute. We'll see. We may have the studio portion of a two bedroom availablecome October.

Kelly

 

[SueOKW]

I don't know which of these last few stories are worst! They all have their points of awfullness.. and first i thought the anatomically correct nephew won the prize... but really that Grand Floridian comment took the cake.

Phew! My sister's family have always been the best easy-go-lucky guests... i am always happy when they can come along. As far as bringing kid's friends - which we haven't done yet - we may never!!!

 

[OneMoreTry]

....He then decides to tell me that I don't love my son because I work. ....

Now you know what his parents are saying at home. Sounds like you know how Willy Wonka felt. I know I'd have sat down with him more than once on the trip and told him a few things about life. The fact that he lived tells me you're a saint.


We brought a niece once. She was quiet as a mouse. My kids loved having her and she had a good time. She brought the $200 for park tickets and we covered her meals, including 2 character meals and some others that weren't cheap. I guess we were fortunate!

We're thinking about getting a Grand Villa in 2006 or 7 and letting our kids bring some friends. It's a little scary. Maybe we'll just bring the inlaws instead.

 

[kathleena]

DS has always loved and looked up to his cousin. So this would be great - right? WRONG.

Oh, ya. That would be a nightmare to me.

He sounds like my other grandson.

 

[jnrrt]

We've got my parents and my brother's family coming to join us for a week in September, but hopefully we'll avoid some of this. We have very different styles - our kids are up early, they sleep in. Our kids go to bed early, they stay out late. And my dad is very ill, so he'll need a lot of rest. But we all want this time together, especially with Dad, so we've just decided that we'll schedule maybe three dinners together, and everyone will do whatever they want. When we meet up, we meet up. Also, we've decided that the villa will always be a quiet zone, so hopefully we won't disturb each other too much.

On the other hand, we had some relatives come for a visit a little while ago, just for the weekend, and it was pretty awful. We love them, but it was really hard to spend time with them - just a lot of little annoyances. I was almost counting the time until they left, and in the morning right before they left, they were talking to us about Disney. And she said, "You know, we really want to go, but it's so big, it's really intimidating to me. I don't think we'd enjoy ourselves unless we went with you, so let's plan that really soon, okay?"

So no way the "let's just all do our own thing" approach would work. Hmmm...

 

[Dean]

This topic comes up every year or two. The one story that sticks in my mind from a past thread was where someone planned the trip with family then that family invited other family and in the end, pushed the original planner out of the picture.

We travel with family about every 2 years. We provide the accommodations and rotate who we ask. We keep asking people until there is no additional room. We make our plans then offer others to join us if they can. We rotate who we invite including which side of the family, mine or my wife's. We have a few simple rules and we tell them to everyone.

• You don't wait on us and we don't wait on you.
• You pay for any direct expenses you generate and an appropriate portion of any group expenses like groceries.
• There WILL be adult beverages
• You don't invite anyone else without my permission.
• If you make a commitment, such as being a certain place at a certain time, be there.
• I get the master BR.
• And the most important rule is that if any of the above rules bother you, DON'T GO!!!

I've modified them slightly over the years, mostly in relationship to threads like this one. Better to learn from someone else's mistakes and problems than make them again. I've heard a number of stories about the owner getting pushed out of the Master. Well if you try that one you better be driving home in your own car cause you're not riding with me.

Fortunately we've had great luck. A couple of minor problems over the years but nothing of big deal. My brother backed out last minute two years ago, I MAY give him one more chance, but only one. He has a habit of poor planning. One trip with my mom and Step Father was a little aggravating but since my Step Father has passed and my mom has quit smoking, things are different. They were simply unreliable. Not where they were supposed to be and stopping every few minutes to smoke. My mom no longer smokes so that is a plus.

But some of the stories I've read in the past put the ones in this thread to shame.

 

[rsschneck]

I'm so sorry to read this...I remember how excited you were about the trip when we met you last summer. We recently went to DL with some friends and I thought it would be so much fun to go with another family. We did have a good time but it seemed that all we did was waste precious hours trying to find something that would please everyone. I think we learned a valuable lesson. We would love to travel with them again but would definitely schedule an equal amount of time each day with just our own family.

Lisa,

You are so sweet. We have traveled with others before and have had a wonderful time. This was DH's family and it was a complete fiasco! We will NOT be inviting any of them back. We will still invite people because we like to. We are just narrowing down our invite list!

 

[SueOKW]

This topic comes up every year or two. The one story that sticks in my mind from a past thread was where someone planned the trip with family then that family invited other family and in the end, pushed the original planner out of the picture.

I thought i'd read every nightmare thread on this board! wow!! that was a good one! can you imagine?


Dean - your rules are good!

Sue

 

[slk537]

Our upcoming trip in November will include my Best Friend, her DH and their DD (20 months)...I really, really hope I'm planning this right...they are using our II timeshare and staying off property; we're staying at VWL. We're going to plan a few events and meet up (MVMCP, a Wishes cruise, an afternoon at DTD) but I keep emphasizing to her, "it's your family vacation...you need to enjoy it together and we'll just plan a few things as a group." Her DD is sweet and I love my Best Friend but her DH drives my DH and me INSANE...no major flaws, just an anal retentive, annoying personality. But it could be worse I guess...we could be planning a vacation with my in lawwwsss....

..adslkjfvnkl..........

Oops...sorry about that! I just blacked out at the horror of that thought and my head hit the computer...whoa...shake it off Jenn! Shake it off.

My heart goes out to all of you who have endured that unthinkable trial with your own, and congratulations to all of you who enjoy and love yours. I envy you!

 

[manning]

The other one that comes up is the "extra" uninvited guests. I think these are my favorite horror stories for the shock value. People invite their cousins Bob and Sue, to discover Bob and Sue then invite their friend Ted along, too - he'll sleep in the bathtub!

I uninvite them.