Tracking device on Elderly's car?

[annegal]

Would you do this to your parent?

My friend is seriously considering it, as his 78 yr old Dad (slightly confused sometimes) drove off for 3 hours this weekend & noone knew where he was.
He later admitted going to a Church graveyard in another town to pray.

His Mother (a bit younger) is usually with him 24/7 & had gone on a short errand.

 

[Kimberly]

I would tell him first before I went and did something like that. Going behind their back would make them lose their trust in you, and many elderly have lost their closest friends already. No sense to give them a greater feeling of loss.

 

[Tiggeroo]

no he's an adult. Unless he's given them a serious health reason to be concerned, in which case somebody should stop him from driving, then they shouldn't impinge on his freedoms.

 

[RitaZ.]

Would you do this to your parent?

My friend is seriously considering it, as his 78 yr old Dad (slightly confused sometimes) drove off for 3 hours this weekend & noone knew where he was.
He later admitted going to a Church graveyard in another town to pray.

His Mother (a bit younger) is usually with him 24/7 & had gone on a short errand.

I would suggest it to him and tell him that you're all concerned about something happening to him and how you would all have peace of mind knowing where he is. Personally, if it was my parent, I would do it. There comes a point where you have to weigh the issue of safety vs. perceived loss of freedom. It's not like he is being told he can't drive, maybe he shouldn't even be driving.

Elderly drivers are a big concern is S. FL. They run people down, get confused between the gas and brake pedals, drive into stores, drive into canals, etc. It's scary!

About 2 weeks ago, I got off an expressway. As I was driving up to the light, I noticed a car in the middle of the 3 lanes. I immediately thought that the driver must be lost. The car stayed to my right, slightly behind me and then slowly pulled up next to me. The man waved, I opened the passenger side window. He was an older man, probably late 70's or early 80's. He asked me which way was north. I told him that north was to the left and south to the right, in relation to where we were. I then asked him if he wanted to go ahead of me when the light turned green. He looked confused and said, "Why didn't I think of asking you that?" I let him go ahead of me and he proceeded to drive well above the speed limit. Yikes!

 

[spokanemom]

I know that if it were me, I would be happy that my family was just looking out for me. Last week in my area, there was an elderly man that was going to a doctor appt and never showed up to that appt. Apparently, he was confused and his car ended up in a field not one mile from his home. There was a search for him, but they did not find him for nearly 2 days. He was laying outside of his car, dead.

I can't imagine how that family feels knowing he was so close but they could not locate him. It makes me so sad. And for this reason, I think I would be ok with it.

 

[1Prince2Princesses]

I know my mom would have issues with me doing this to her. I guess doing it to an elderly person would require careful consideration of their specific circumstances.

I do know that I will consider putting tracking devices on my kid's cars when they start driving!

 

[aprilgail2]

If he is slightly confused then perhaps it is time to suggest to him that it is time for him to stop driving. He could be a danger to himself and others. We recently had a confused man here plow though a group of people on the corner, he forgot which was the brake and which was the gas!

 

[poohandwendy]

If my mother got to the point where we felt she was confused, I would take her keys from her. It's not just about the family's peace of mind. It's about safety.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I would not put on a tracking device. If he has a reason to not be driving then that needs to be addressed.

 

[MushyMushy]

If my mother got to the point where we felt she was confused, I would take her keys from her. It's not just about the family's peace of mind. It's about safety.

That's what I'd like to do with my dad. But the law protects his "right" to drive.

 

[annegal]

If my mother got to the point where we felt she was confused, I would take her keys from her. It's not just about the family's peace of mind. It's about safety.

i COMPLETELY agree. From stories about him, he should not be driving,

 

[JunieJay]

I sure would. Had this tracking device been invented 5 years ago, maybe my FIL wouldn't have run his car into the telephone pole that killed my MIL, his wife of 50 years.

It so sad that this has to be done. People should have their dignity. But when it comes to the point where they are a danger to themselves and others, all bets are off. I'm sure my husband and his siblings would have put a tracking device on their father's car if it existed back then. He was very reluctant to give up the freedom he had when driving a car, it wasn't until the tragic accident that he understood the seriousness of it. Too high of a price to pay.

 

[RitaZ.]

Had this tracking device been invented 5 years ago, maybe my FIL wouldn't have run his car into the telephone pole that killed my MIL, his wife of 50 years.

Wow! What a horrible tragedy.

 

[RitaZ.]

i COMPLETELY agree. From stories about him, he should not be driving,

Well, it's time to take the car away. That's the only way to ensure that he will not drive. As long as elderly drivers have access to a vehicle, they will drive without insurance, without a license, while medicated, you name it. I'm hoping that automakers will come up with some kind of device to disable a car if the person is an elderly driver that shouldn't be driving.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I sure would. Had this tracking device been invented 5 years ago, maybe my FIL wouldn't have run his car into the telephone pole that killed my MIL, his wife of 50 years.

It so sad that this has to be done. People should have their dignity. But when it comes to the point where they are a danger to themselves and others, all bets are off. I'm sure my husband and his siblings would have put a tracking device on their father's car if it existed back then. He was very reluctant to give up the freedom he had when driving a car, it wasn't until the tragic accident that he understood the seriousness of it. Too high of a price to pay.

I am so sorry to hear this.

How who the tracking device have prevented this tragedy?

 

[JunieJay]

I am so sorry to hear this.

How who the tracking device have prevented this tragedy?

I guess they could have had a better idea about how much he was using the car. He told his kids it was just to go to the store and back, etc. One of his grandkids was in the car with him a few years prior and he fell asleep at the wheel. Thankfully the grandkid was able to grab the steering wheel and wake Granddad up. So they knew there were problems, but thought if he was just going to the store and back it wouldn't be too much of a problem. Never in our wildest dreams did we think he would hop in the car with his wife and take a trip to three states away. That is when the accident happened, on the last leg of his journey. Had we been able to track his wherabouts, it might have turned out differently. Or maybe not. When you pose the question and I really think about it, I'm not sure anything could have prevented that tragedy. He was determined to drive and was by law allowed to drive, so his kids felt helpless. Maybe if they gave old people driving tests once a year after they reach a certain age, combined with the tracking device, it might at least help.

 

[j's m]

From www.zarcrom.com/users/alzheimers/nh-10.html which is an article about helping people with dementia/alzheimers give up their independence:

"You may feel tempted to put off insisting that a person with Alzheimer's disease stop driving. Use your judgment, but you should also know that caregivers can be held legally liable if they knowingly allow demented individuals to drive. In other words, if your loved one gets into an accident, you can be sued and possibly be held criminally liable."

My sisters and I were worried about my mom who had memory loss and was still driving. Several times, I drove behind her to the doctor, supermarket, etc and observed her driving. To cover myself, I went to her doctor and had him put in her record that I followed her, she observed stop signs/traffic lights, drove correctly, etc.

Unfortunately, a year after this, she was hit by another elderly driver that ran a stop sign and totalled her car. I refused to let her get another one, saying God took her car away without anyone getting hurt.

OP, it's a hard situation, but it has to be faced. If you admit he needs a tracking device on his car, you're admitting maybe he shouldn't be driving. Good luck, it hard to parent a parent.

 

[Hannathy]

No I wouldn't. There is a big difference in being slightly confused and Alzheimer's! I would get him a cell phone and insist he keep it in the car for safety if he was going to drive. Sometimes a car needs to be taken away but remember if you do the person has to be able to get somewhere so make sure you are willing to drive them. My cousin took my Aunt's car away them moved 5 states away. My Aunt barely had food in the house. When we went home to visit(I live far away) I always stocked my Aunt up with basics but it was sad.

I don't understand the big deal in 3 hours anyway.

The other accident is tragic but your MIL went with him and unless she was impaired it was her choice as an adult and maybe they were happy on that trip.

 

[meandtheguys2]

If my mother got to the point where we felt she was confused, I would take her keys from her. It's not just about the family's peace of mind. It's about safety.

I agree.

But, I also wouldn't leave them foodless and without the ability to get around! You don't always get to pick and choose which responsibilities yuo want... Hannathy, i believe you too make a very good point.

 

[annegal]

I don't understand the big deal in 3 hours anyway.

.

He is "allowed" to do short errands-post office, drug store...things that will take 20 minutes, at best without his wife allong. He left without telling her where he was going & was gone 3 hours, to his wife this was way too long.