Toys for Christmas right??? Not clothes... vent ahead..

[Dee77]

Is it just me or has something changed, but I have always felt that kids should get mostly toys for Christmas not clothes or hats etc...

My one SIL wanted to get my DD(5) Ugg boots this year and she would have except that I told her we have already taken care of her boots for this year so she asked what to get her and I said anything Barbie... she sent quite a few things directly from the store and explained that the gifts weren't wrapped, no problem. Good thing I said something because my other SIL (still my husband's side of the family) sent her gifts for my DD up to us with a family friend and since it was quite a few packages, I told DD she could open them. We won't be seeing his side of the family at all for Christmas and I figured that she would have a head start on playing with her new toys... well, she got all clothes and an ornament. My MIL also gave her an item of clothes, a holiday themed blanket for her bed (too small) and holiday cookie cutters. I was glad that she could at least open the Barbie things and have something to play with rather than fold and put away (especially since it was a special occasion that she could open them early.)

I know I have my issues with the in-laws and such but for a 5 year old, I thought this was a little ridiculous. I felt bad because she started to show the classic signs of "oh no, not more clothes" creeping out as she opened her gifts. Thankfully she will get her fair share of toys from my side this weekend.

Maybe I am focusing in on this too much but I would never buy a child over a year old clothes for Christmas unless it is my own child.

OK looking forward to seeing what others think..

 

[QVCshopper]

Honestly, I'd be really really happy with clothes and Ugg boots. How many toys does a child need? Unless you are constantly donating the old ones, it's hard to keep up with them all, especially once you have more than one kid, and even more especially if those kids are different genders.

My kids play with the same toys from 2-3 years ago. Yes, they get new toys, but also they get clothes, PJs, ornaments, books, games, etc. This year, we're even branching out and getting DD7 a gift card. That's a first.

I never celebrated as a child, so maybe I'm off base here. But, as a mom of two (soon to be three) kids with limited space in my house, I appreciate the clothing/PJs/blanket idea. Oh, and my DS is 5 and my DD just turned 7.

 

[Becky2005]

I don't know...I can see both sides of this.

I guess a 5 year old would definitely like a lot of toys but my 8 year old gets rather attached to some of his shirts and if he were to get a really cool shirt with something he liked, that would be good.

I guess it also all depends on what you grow up with. I'm going to guess it is typical in your husband's family to receive clothing for Christmas/Birthdays so they probably didn't think twice about it and as far as they were concerned were being thoughtful.

I do remember when I first got married and my MIL wanted to know my underwear size....I thought she was insane and wouldn't give it to her but apparently EVERYONE got socks & underwear in their stockings and as I was part of the family and had my only stocking now...I got the traditional gift too. I never ever got underwear for Christmas in my stocking in my family. However, there were things we always got (mostly oranges & nuts) that my hubby would for.

My kids have gotten clothes before but they also get toys. It sounds like it will be one of those things that eventually your DD will learn that each side does things differently.

We knew it growing up -- my dad's side was much more reserved (and a bit snooty although as they have grown older, it has changed). If you bought a gift from K-Mart, it wouldn't have been considered a gift -- it had to be from a more upscale place. Cash or Gift Certificate would have been an ultimate snub.

My mom's side of the family is much more laid back and frankly...you knew you had better check every box to see if it had been taped shut because it may not be what you think it is -- things were known to you unwrap it and see a cereal box or a denture cream box or jell-o box or ?

 

[mjantz]

It depends on the clothes. My mom likes to get the kids fun clothes & has since they were little. As we are on a limited budget, I appreciate that she will add to their closets, especially with name brand items.

 

[Mrs.Malone]

Well, the relatives who sent clothes probably assumed your daughter would be opening the packages on Christmas, when she would also be getting toys (from you/Santa). They probably didn't think about the clothes being the only thing she'd be opening at a certain time. My kids get quite a few toys on Christmas morning along with some special/fun clothes (from us as well as from relatives who know their taste and size). They are always very thrilled to get the clothes and I'm sure it does help that they're opening the toys at the same time so there's a balance of things they can play with immediately and nice clothes they can enjoy later.

I guess it kind of depends on the type of clothes too. If you're talking about plain underwear and socks that's one thing but if it's a special holiday dress or a cute trendy outfit or Uggs, that is more of a fun gift. All of my kids are getting some clothing gifts this year...Disney shirts, a North Face fleece. They will love them along with their toys.

 

[Nicolepa]

The Ugg boots any of my kids would have LOVED to have. One year my MIL got them Uggs and they loved them and were so sad when they outgrew them.

As for clothes I'm with you. My MIL used to go to Nordstrom and pick out clothes for the kids. She did this because we could exchange/return them locally and get what we wanted. About 3 years ago my son who was I think 6 at the time told my FIL that "when you buy me clothes it only helps my parents.". My FIL realized it was no fun for a boy to get a bunch of clothes and has never bought him clothes as a gift again.

 

[Dee77]

Honestly, I'd be really really happy with clothes and Ugg boots. How many toys does a child need? Unless you are constantly donating the old ones, it's hard to keep up with them all, especially once you have more than one kid, and even more especially if those kids are different genders.

My kids play with the same toys from 2-3 years ago. Yes, they get new toys, but also they get clothes, PJs, ornaments, books, games, etc. This year, we're even branching out and getting DD7 a gift card. That's a first.

I never celebrated as a child, so maybe I'm off base here. But, as a mom of two (soon to be three) kids with limited space in my house, I appreciate the clothing/PJs/blanket idea.

Good points, thanks!

I just figured she would have gotten some sort of toy from them, even a puzzle or something. My 2 SILs and MIL all got her clothes 2 months ago for her birthday so that may be why I am also so shocked that there weren't any "fun" gifts in the mix for her for Christmas.

 

[Dee77]

Well, the relatives who sent clothes probably assumed your daughter would be opening the packages on Christmas, when she would also be getting toys (from you/Santa). They probably didn't think about the clothes being the only thing she'd be opening at a certain time. My kids get quite a few toys on Christmas morning along with some special/fun clothes (from us as well as from relatives who know their taste and size). They are always very thrilled to get the clothes and I'm sure it does help that they're opening the toys at the same time so there's a balance of things they can play with immediately and nice clothes they can enjoy later.

I guess it kind of depends on the type of clothes too. If you're talking about plain underwear and socks that's one thing but if it's a special holiday dress or a cute trendy outfit or Uggs, that is more of a fun gift. All of my kids are getting some clothing gifts this year...Disney shirts, a North Face fleece. They will love them along with their toys.

I bolded a few of the things that you mentioned that make it even more ironic to me, first- it has been well known that we will not see them for Christmas this year and there was no discussion, other than about the Uggs, what could or should any of us get any of the kids. My husband and I followed through with exactly what we always do, we got every niece and nephew toys or Wii games, snow globes for the older kids etc. As I mentioned, the blanket is not even the correct size for her bed and Grandma is the one who got that, I would think a gift like that would warrant a call to check what size bed she sleeps in but then again that's what I would have done.

The clothes that SIL got are considered the trendy type (size 4/5) and a hat scarf set and pajamas (size 6), MIL gave her pajamas (size 6). The one sweater that SIL gave her has a large faux fur collar which was the only thing visible in the box and I swear I think my DD thought an animal was in the box. She doesn't really like it so it will go back to the store, I said it was not a problem since the size is a 4/5 and she wouldn't get much use out of it.

 

[HugsForEeyore]

If I were 5, I would have been disappointed to get nothing but clothes. I wanted toys!

I remember something similiar happening when I was a kid - starting around some age (maybe 8 or 9), at Christmas relatives began giving me and my siblings savings bonds instead of toys (or books, puzzles, etc). So we would open these bonds at Christmas, then hand them right over to my beaming parents, who announce they will promptly put them in the bank to pay for college. And that was the last we ever saw or heard of them until we were adults. Very empty feeling to a kid. I know in a perfect world, all 8 year olds should be thrilled to have savings bonds as presents, but not me. I wanted toys! This was also back in the 70's/80's when kids did play with toys much older than they do now.

I am an avid toy collector now as an adult, maybe that's why - I didn't get the toys I wanted as a kid! Least I have them now.

To my relative's credit, I did end up using some of those savings bonds to buy my first car, so I can't complain too much!

 

[cornflake]

I don't think of Uggs as "clothes" or boots, as they're neither really, they're slippers, but they're a 'fun/frivolous' gift, hardly a utilitarian one.

I don't think kids should only get toys, no. I'd be peeved at only toys - books would be welcome, pajamas are a fun thing, something like a fun blanket or sweater is a good gift, imo, even for a 5-year-old, who I think should rightly appreciate them.

Kids like clothes and stuff besides toys and, as someone else said, how many Barbies or whatever can you have? They lose their appeal pretty quickly when there's a pile of them, same as any quantities of toys. Hence kids are often more excited and engaged if they get two or three things than if they get ten or fifteen.

 

[Imzadi]

I bolded a few of the things that you mentioned that make it even more ironic to me, first- it has been well known that we will not see them for Christmas this year and there was no discussion, other than about the Uggs, what could or should any of us get any of the kids.

I think you misunderstood what Mrs Malone said. She meant, like most of us, that when you get presents from family, even if they aren't going to be there, that the presents sit under the tree until Christmas. That's where the phrase, "Will be thinking of you on Christmas," means. Not, "Thinking of you on Dec 20."

It wouldn't occur to me, that if I sent a present that it would be opened early. Like it is part of the Christmas day celebration.

I guess depends on your expectations & what you were brought up with. Getting an assortment of toys, clothes & practical items sounds NORMAL to me. Your SILs & MIL sent at least 6 items. You expected ALL of them to be toys? Like a pp said, how many toys does a 5 year old NEED? It also depends on the expectations you teach your child to have. As this seems to be normal for your DH's family, she needs to be taught to expect a mixture of items along with toys.

Also, it a downturned economy, where people have been out of work for a year or more, getting 6 presents at all for a child would be heaven. A little gratitude might be in order for what you do have & the family you/DH has and is able to provide. Unless you are affluent and have a lot of money to throw away, getting clothes DD can wear for the upcoming season is practical, versus a toy she will grow tired of in a few weeks. I assume your in-laws think you & DH will be giving DD a toy or two. They are filling in with other items most people need, that the parents appreciate, if not the children.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My parents and my siblings have always given my boys a variety of gifts. However, they tended to focus more on clothes and practical gifts, figuring we knew better what kinds of toys they wanted. When they were younger, my parents would usually get them each pajamas, shirts, books and maybe one toy. They would also make a substantial contribution to their college accounts. Most of the toys would come from us.

I don't see a problem with relatives wanting to give more practical gifts. I would appreciate anything that was given as a heart-felt gift, and I would encourage my kids to do the same.

 

[deakam]

At the age of 5--Santa brings toys--after all he makes toys. Grandparents can give whatever--because they are grandparents. Aunts and Uncles usually give the things they know mom and dad will not buy but are fairly sure the kids want--things like drum sets, you know, noise makers or messy things like finger paints.

I think the clothing thing really depends on the child. We have a 5 year old that loves clothes. Her favorite gift is a shopping trip to the mall, something her mom rarely does.

 

[Bungle]

It might be a good time to start teaching gratitude for gifts. A gift is a wonderful thought even if its not what you asked for

 

[NHdisneylover]

Honestly? I think you are looking for things to be upset about and setting a bad example for your daughter (who will take her cue from you).

Is it just me or has something changed, but I have always felt that kids should get mostly toys for Christmas not clothes or hats etc...
I do not think the only toys belief is widely held. Others must have it, but it is not something you can expect from most people. Personally, I see a value in a few good toys and not an overkill of lots of them.

My one SIL wanted to get my DD(5) Ugg boots this year and she would have except that I told her we have already taken care of her boots for this yearso multiple toys is good but two pairs of boots (one of which is "cute and trendy" is bad? Why?
so she asked what to get her and I said anything Barbie... she sent quite a few things directly from the store and explained that the gifts weren't wrapped, no problem.How nice of your sister in law Good thing I said something because my other SIL (still my husband's side of the family) sent her gifts for my DD up to us with a family friend and since it was quite a few packages, I told DD she could open them. We won't be seeing his side of the family at all for Christmas and I figured that she would have a head start on playing with her new toys... I find that a little odd. I can see opening them if the sister in law were there to see her reaction and would not be able to otherwise, but just opening them to get a head stat on playing kind of takes away from the impact of it being a CHRISTMAS present. I think it is okay, but not a decision I would have made. well, she got all clothes and an ornament.Well, it worked out to open them early because now the ornament gets to hang on the tree. We would have excitedly hung it up right away and then probably had a fashion show with the new clothes My MIL also gave her an item of clothes more fashion show, a holiday themed blanket for her bed (too small) why does it have to be for the bed? We would have been happily talking about how fun it will be to cuddle up under on the sofa while watching Rudolph, etc and holiday cookie cutters THOSE are fun. I hope you baked some cookie with your DD. I was glad that she could at least open the Barbie things and have something to play with rather than fold and put away why fold and put away the other things? I think your daughter not being excited about the it comes directly from your attitude in making them into boring things when really they are not. Model the clothes. Mix and match items and see what goes well with what she already has. Cuddle up under the blanket or use it to build a fort in the living room. Bake cookies, or at the very least pull out the playdough(especially since it was a special occasion that she could open them early.)

I know I have my issues with the in-laws and such but for a 5 year old, I thought this was a little ridiculous. I felt bad because she started to show the classic signs of "oh no, not more clothes" creeping out as she opened her gifts I would be concerned if my kid was showing signs of being spoiled and ungrateful about gifts at the tender age of 5. . Thankfully she will get her fair share of toys from my side this weekend.

Maybe I am focusing in on this too much but I would never buy a child over a year old clothes for Christmas unless it is my own child.

OK looking forward to seeing what others think..

See comments in red above

It might be a good time to start teaching gratitude for gifts. A gift is a wonderful thought even if its not what you asked fo

 

[java]

It might be a good time to start teaching gratitude for gifts. A gift is a wonderful thought even if its not what you asked fo

I agree. My daughter was the first girl grandchild and all she ever got were clothes from my family. They were so excited to be buying for a girl. I am of the how many toys do you really need camp. While my kids would prefer toys, they know they will get plenty and a new coat from Aunt S. Is still a very nice gift.
On the blanket are you sure it isn't supposed to be. Holiday throw? According to Nate Burkis that is the gift of the season this year. I'm not sure about for a 5 year old though

Read Jeafl's thread and you'll be grateful with what your daughter got.

 

[NMAmy]

I know I have my issues with the in-laws and such but for a 5 year old, I thought this was a little ridiculous. I felt bad because she started to show the classic signs of "oh no, not more clothes" creeping out as she opened her gifts. Thankfully she will get her fair share of toys from my side this weekend.

I'd be a bit disturbed that instead of being grateful, your child was developing those "classic signs" you mentioned. There's nothing at all wrong with kids getting clothes for Christmas or birthdays. My dd has a mid-November birthday so we had a real toy overload by the time Christmas rolled around. Family and friends often got her clothes.

You seem too focused on how your family does things instead of accepting that not everyone does holidays or gift giving the same way. Teaching gratitude for things received and tolerance for the differences between families seems like more of a Christmasy message than "Grandma and your Aunties did it wrong but Mommy"s family gives gifts correctly."

 

[Imzadi]

It might be a good time to start teaching gratitude for gifts. A gift is a wonderful thought even if its not what you asked for

Honestly? I think you are looking for things to be upset about and setting a bad example for your daughter (who will take her cue from you).

I think your daughter not being excited about the it comes directly from your attitude in making them into boring things when really they are not.

I would be concerned if my kid was showing signs of being spoiled and ungrateful about gifts at the tender age of 5.

Hard to teach gratitude when the mom isn't grateful herself. can you imagine the scenario? BOTH of them looking at the mound of presents and being disappointed.

Hadley, you gave great ideas to show how one can be excited about the gifts that were given. It would be hard to come up with those ideas ad to teach a little one how to think that way too, when one doesn't think that way, herself.

I know people out of work. I just keep thinking about the kids who would be so excited to have a new outfit to show off at school, when they probably haven't gotten anything new in a long time.

You seem too focused on how your family does things instead of accepting that not everyone does holidays or gift giving the same way. Teaching gratitude for things received and tolerance for the differences between families seems like more of a Christmasy message than "Grandma and your Aunties did it wrong but Mommy"s family gives gifts correctly."

Great observation. Maybe the OP unconsciously is fostering that competition. The in-laws presents weren't even worth waiting to open on Christmas. ALL of them were opened yesterday. (Not something I'd do.)

 

[usnuzuloose]

As I have gone out this year shopping, which really I havent bought alot, I have seen people buying alot of clothes for kids. Growing up I did not have family members around to buy for me. I got one or two gifts a year. But I did buy my own kids clothes for christmas.

I think alot of kids would like finding a few items of clothes, as other pp have pointed out how many toys does one child need? Please teach her to be greatful of the things family or anyone else buy her. Clothes coan be fun. And just think if you needed to return something due to size, or color or what ever you two could have fun shopping together.

If someone told me I could only keep buying toys, well I may be a little hesitant about buying anything because your not greatful of the thought that went behind the gift. This is just MHO.

 

[Ember]

Even as a little kid I loved getting clothes for Christmas! I giggled with a PP mentioned putting on a fashion show, because that's what we did. We even used extra Christmas lights to make the runway (whether it was Christmas or birthdays) and turned up the music really loud! Them mom got the camera and I got to pose. Seriously, those are some wonderful memories. I think I have some of the photos on my computer somewhere, I'll see if I can find a few.

Of course, I grew up rather poor and most of my clothes came from Goodwill or Value Village, so maybe we just had a different perspective on how special new clothes were. (This is not meant as a guilt trip, by the way. I always hate it when people try to make others feel bad for not suffering, or for feeling they way they do. I just think that not having a lot made my mom find ways to make even ordinary things feel special.)