touchy missing money issuse

[Dznypal]

I put away money for trips rewards ebay rummages any way I can put money together--I keep it ina a disney bucket until I have so much in it and then I take it to the bank

I also have an envelope with gift money from my mom and my DIL before they passed away

today I noticed from the envelope was about $300 missing--I have a system I keep track of who the money was from when the amount I keep each one paper clipped

some of it was still in the original christmas envelope

I am just sick about it--its just my DH and me living in the house--the kids are raising there own families

I really hate to say this but my friend and me had a rummage sale this weekend she was in and out of the house several times which I didnt think anything of and they are really hard up for money the last time I looked through that money was the middle of july when we went on a mini vacation and I took some along in case I saw something I wanted

the stack of money was still all there just the money from the envelope was missing like who ever took it figured it wouldnt be so obivious if it was taken from the envelope--also the money was in the christmas money holders 2 of them were missing--

god I feel just horrible for thinking this way--

thanks for listening I just I needed to get this off my chest

 

[Disney_traveler]

Ugh that really stinks! I'm sorry you're dealing with that and it's a good chunk of money!

 

[kimblebee]

Are you absolutely sure it wasn't your husband who took it and just forgot to tell you? I'd ask him first before going to your friend..

 

[jevs]

Are you absolutely sure it wasn't your husband who took it and just forgot to tell you? I'd ask him first before going to your friend..

Agree. Eliminate those living in the house first.

Whatever the case, awkward doesn't quite cut it.

 

[Westcoastwild]

I'm so sorry. Something similar happened to a friend. He did make a fuss because it was cosiderably more money than you lost. It turned out not to be the obvious suspect- the relative going through hard times- and it caused a lot of drama all around.

I know how terrible it is to not know, but it could have just as easily been someone random that has access to your house. I'll tell you what I told him- hide your stash or keep it in a savings account. Not as fun as the Disney bucket for sure, and I hate the thought I can't trust friends or family or neighbors or roommates- but then there's no chance of it vanishing.

 

[Miskey]

I put away money for trips rewards ebay rummages any way I can put money together--I keep it ina a disney bucket until I have so much in it and then I take it to the bank

I also have an envelope with gift money from my mom and my DIL before they passed away

today I noticed from the envelope was about $300 missing--I have a system I keep track of who the money was from when the amount I keep each one paper clipped

some of it was still in the original christmas envelope

I am just sick about it--its just my DH and me living in the house--the kids are raising there own families

I really hate to say this but my friend and me had a rummage sale this weekend she was in and out of the house several times which I didnt think anything of and they are really hard up for money the last time I looked through that money was the middle of july when we went on a mini vacation and I took some along in case I saw something I wanted

the stack of money was still all there just the money from the envelope was missing like who ever took it figured it wouldnt be so obivious if it was taken from the envelope--also the money was in the christmas money holders 2 of them were missing--

god I feel just horrible for thinking this way--

thanks for listening I just I needed to get this off my chest

Are you certain you didn't spend the money on vacation? I've done that, thought I lost money, and then remember spending it. Also is it possible you could have just lost it?

 

[Jennasis]

That just burns doesn't it? Ugh. Was it just the friend or did she have kids/husband also in and out of the house? If it was just er (and you've eliminated your own DH and the possibility of misplacing it yourself somehow...I know i know) I would wait until next time you see her and then rant about the missing money..."Who would DO such a thing?? It's so awful! I can't believe some scumbag would take the money we've put aside for vacation/Timmy's new crutches etc!!" And then maybe burst into tears and go on about how money is so tight...lay it on thick. Maybe she;ll crack, but if she doesn't hopefully she will go home feeling like a total loser.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I'd ask my husband, and I'd give it a day or two to remember if maybe I used it for the trip and somehow forgot or miscalculated.

As far as what to do about your friend, well, that's tougher. I doubt she'd admit to it even if she did it, don't you think? Is she by any chance a substance abuser? (Sorry, but had to ask.) I think if it turns out you really feel it was your friend, I'd chalk it up to misjudgment of character, and I wouldn't trust her again. I'd also put my money away in the bank for safe keeping.

If your friend did take the money, she's got more problems than you do at this point. Sad.

 

[Disney_traveler]

That just burns doesn't it? Ugh. Was it just the friend or did she have kids/husband also in and out of the house? If it was just er (and you've eliminated your own DH and the possibility of misplacing it yourself somehow...I know i know) I would wait until next time you see her and then rant about the missing money..."Who would DO such a thing?? It's so awful! I can't believe some scumbag would take the money we've put aside for vacation/Timmy's new crutches etc!!" And then maybe burst into tears and go on about how money is so tight...lay it on thick. Maybe she;ll crack, but if she doesn't hopefully she will go home feeling like a total loser.

The approach here worked for me. Granted it was a lot less money but it was obvious who took it. Cousin took a chocolate bunny with $50 I had on my bed. When we told all family we couldn't believe who did it. Cousin magically mailed it saying when she got home that was in her stuff by mistake. Still don't know how when I didn't have it near her stuff in my room and it had my name on it.

Ps.....she was 20 and I was 21, so we weren't little kids losing stuff either lol.

 

[sunshinehighway]

I'd ask my husband, and I'd give it a day or two to remember if maybe I used it for the trip and somehow forgot or miscalculated.

As far as what to do about your friend, well, that's tougher. I doubt she'd admit to it even if she did it, don't you think? Is she by any chance a substance abuser? (Sorry, but had to ask.) I think if it turns out you really feel it was your friend, I'd chalk it up to misjudgment of character, and I wouldn't trust her again. I'd also put my money away in the bank for safe keeping.

If your friend did take the money, she's got more problems than you do at this point. Sad.

Maybe the husband is a substance abuser.
I agree with you though. If she really thinks it was the friend, lesson learned. Asking her about it with no proof of anything does nothing and the OP could be totally off base.
The bank is a perfect solution.

 

[kimblebee]

Maybe the husband is a substance abuser.
I agree with you though. If she really thinks it was the friend, lesson learned. Asking her about it with no proof of anything does nothing and the OP could be totally off base.
The bank is a perfect solution.

A substance abuser?? LMAO that's one of the biggest leaps I've ever seen here..

 

[sunshinehighway]

A substance abuser?? LMAO that's one of the biggest leaps I've ever seen here..

I only said it because the poster I quoted made that leap about the friend. It left a bad taste to mention such a thing about the friend but not the husband.
It wasn't really meant to be serious but more of a why accuse the friend of that but not the husband.

 

[kimblebee]

I only said it because the poster I quoted made that leap about the friend. It left a bad taste to mention such a thing about the friend but not the husband.
It wasn't really meant to be serious but more of a why accuse the friend of that but not the husband.

Sorry, I didn't see that in the post you quoted. It makes sense now.

 

[sunshinehighway]

Sorry, I didn't see that in the post you quoted. It makes sense now.

It's easy to miss. I went back and bolded it.

 

[vikster1]

That's horrible that you may suspect a friend took the money. Certainly isnt a friend if she did take it. Did you have a cable guy or worker in the house? I'm hoping you spent the money and forgot, although unlikely.

 

[King Schultz]

Friend took it; call the cops.

 

[disneychrista]

I would ask the husband first. He would be more likely to even KNOW about the money, where it is etc.

 

[Westcoastwild]

And the thing is, I'm assuming OP can't for sure list every single person who has access to her house. She sounds trusting, and for all we know, she doesn't even lock her door. I don't either, but COULD tell you who had been in my place only because I have a dog that only lets a select few in. My parents and most of my friends could not- neighbors with keys, workmen, friends of friends, kids of friends...the list goes on, and if you call the police, that list is the first thing they'd ask for. Then they'll say something along the lines of "you have no proof, next time don't be a moron". That's what happened in my friend's case.

 

[Nettester]

There were really no other visitors, even family, that could have had access? You didn't host a BBQ or birthday party or something? Teens around? Any house cleaning or home maintenance people? Could your husband have had a visitor you don't remember or weren't aware of? Was your house locked during your garage sale? Did you allow any of your garage sale shoppers to use the bathroom in your house? It's not uncommon for theft to happen at or during a garage sale.

I know you suspect your friend, and I would probably "vent" to her about the missing money. Maybe, like someone said, if it was her, she will feel guilty enough to return it to you or confess. I wouldn't ask her directly if she took it, or make any accusations.

We have a little safe under our bed. It's perfect for cash, passports, medications, and small valuables. You may want to keep your savings envelopes, and money in a save instead of a savings bucket

 

[osopecoso]

Lesson learned. That is why you keep money in the bank. Go once a week and deposit whatever you have. Unfortunately no one will ever come forward confessing they took/borrowed the $$. If you blame the friend, you will end up ruining a relationship over a little bit of $$. Take whatever money you have left and bring it to the bank. Since hurricane Wilma hit us, we always keep $500 in cash due to electric being out and no access to ATM's.