Totally OT--returning to college in midlife

[Svhadden]

Just looking for counsel and/or encouragement

So, big changes for our family. We've given it a great deal of thought, and in the spring, my husband will be returning to college for another degree at the, ahem, mature age of 41.

The situation is that his career is very demanding, physically and otherwise, and we just don't see him being able to continue in this field for another 20 years. So he wants to pursue a career he strongly considered the first go-round; engineering.

We're trying to be realistic, and we understand that this isn't by any means going to be easy. I'm a SAHM (may be returning to work PT from home, just to take some of the pressure off of DH), and we homeschool. We live in an area with a relatively high cost of living, so taking a pay-cut isn't an option. So we're resigning ourselves to several years of pretty intense focus and work. But we both believe it will be worth it in the end .

He's going to spend the fall boning back up on maths (hello, engineering!), chemistry, etc. He made A's in those subjects in his previous degree, but his brain hasn't twisted in that way in a loooong time.

This is both exciting and daunting. We're a week away from a blow-out 10 day Disney trip, and we're used to yearly trips, but we're prepared for the fact that it may be quite a while before we go back, which makes me want to ugly-cry, but it is what it is and Disney will still be there when we're ready.

Another obstacle we must process through is PAYING FOR THIS . Just stroking a check for the whole deal isn't realistic, but neither of us is comfortable just borrowing his way through (student loans are the devil). We're pretty sure his income is too high to qualify for a Pell Grant (waiting for his SAR after filling out the FAFSA), so we're hoping to find other options for grants, etc.

Any other mature students/spouses out there who can offer advice? We're both motivated, and are able to be patient and goal-oriented, so I have no doubts that we can do this. We just have no idea, practically speaking, what the next few years will look like.

Thanks, DISers.

 

[set1208]

I am 37 and just finished school. I have four kids and I'm a SAHM. My husband is a contractor and owns his own business so he works 12 hour days, 6 days a week. It was rough but manageable. For the classes that weren't covered by grants, we paid cash and I did one class at a time.

Is your DH planning on going full time? My program was accelerated so most of my classes were one day a week for five weeks instead of the traditional 15 weeks and each class was just four hours long. That helped immensely.

 

[darnheather]

Two years ago I finished my master's. I went to UMass Boston through their distance learning program. It was cheaper than attending in person. He may also want to look into junior colleges for the maths and lower level classes. Much cheaper and as long as the school is accredited they count just the same. I can't stress enough to find an accredited school. Also he can try to CLEP courses he feels he has a handle on.

Anyway, I'm a SAHM and was homeschooling and we were living in Korea. Thankfully with some careful budgeting and a one-time scholarship that paid for four classes we were able to pay as I went. I still have student loans from undergrad nearly :cough: 20 years ago.

Best of luck!

 

[Momoftwins+1]

I just graduated ...again...at 34 with a BS in Accounting/& Business ( have a degree from regular college years in CJ)....it wasn't easy, especially my senior year while homeschooling our oldest child that year (of all the years to pick) but I made it, and with a 4.0 (because grades seem to matter that much more when your paying for the degree haha).
I had some outside funding (a few grants) but what I didn't have came out of pocket so that we didn't have any student loans to add to the budget. I took quite a few prereq courses at the community college which was way cheaper than the University classes but transferred over just the same. Textbooks were the killer...make sure you know the different ways of dealing with textbooks (renting, ebooks, used, online, online lab codes) etc.
It is def. doable with some shifting of priorities and a lot of loss of sleep! I wish for him all the success in the world in returning!

 

[texasroni75]

I have just finished my application process to go back to college to finally finish my degree (started taking college courses in 1993!). I had taken classes online and at night sporadically over the years. I did this while working full-time and caring for the kids because DH's work schedule changed every week so he really couldn't help lighten my workload for me to do more school than that.

I was lucky that I found myself in the IT field at a very young age and was able to move up the ladder in my job without my degree due to on-the-job experience and job-paid certification classes taken during the workday. BUT, now that I've been a SAHM for 5 years, I've fallen behind on the technology and cannot easily get back into the workforce when the time comes. What really prompted me to re-enroll and finally finish though, was that I'm turning 40 in the very near future and my oldest daughter is now starting college - I want to finish my degree before she gets hers! LOL!

I'm not going to get into the financial aspect of it (since I am only dealing with a handful of classes so it won't break the bank here). BUT, as far as juggling the classes with home life - I will say this. You and your spouse have to both be completely on board for it to work. And even if you are on the same page and really want this to happen - for lack of a better term, it's really going to SUCK trying to fit it all in and be getting enough sleep and quality family time once you add in school. I love online classes for this reason. I'm pretty self-motivated so online classes have worked very well for me. You still have just as much homework/study time (if not more), but at least you do not have to drive to a classroom and sit in a chair at a specific time that may not be convenient for you. It makes your school time so much more flexible.

Oh, and like PP mentioned, you now have the option to RENT your textbooks. It's 1/2 the price of buying used books. They do have eBook options, but I'm old-school and like having a real book in front of me.

So, if it means a better job/less physically demanding work I say go for it. But I'd stay clear of taking on very large student loans. I'd rather it take twice as long and pay for it out of pocket than have a huge debt looming over my head.

 

[JessM]

I graduated 2 years with a degree in Civil Engineering. I went directly after high school so I can't relate to having kids and finding a way to pay for it but I can offer a little insight into the engineering programs we have at my local colleges.

Engineering is going to require a lot of time and dedication. Labs, homework, tests etc will require a lot of study time both on and off campus. Most schools also have final capstone projects senior year that are extremely time consuming. Most of my engineering classes took place in the morning with labs in the afternoon. The schools around me have very few night engineering classes because its not something most non-traditional students are going to go back for, there were also no excelerated courses or summer courses in the engineering field (at least around here). I did take some of my science electives, required math courses and other electives in the summer.

On a typical week I spent almost 20 hours in classes/labs and another 25-30 hours doing homework or studying. Its a big time commitment but the pay off will be worth it. Engineering is a great field to get into too!

 

[Svhadden]

Thanks so much for the insight, everyone . I really do appreciate the real-life experiences and advice.


Yes, we're both committed to making this work. In reality, I've been praying for some time about my husbands future because I saw the day coming when his current career would be too much for him. Others have said, "Why not management, etc?" We'll, he makes more $$$ than his management team because he's commission and they're salary lol. Not interested in a huge pay cut. My DH is very motivated, very self-disciplined, and one of the most diligent people I've ever known. He's the guy who gets the ridiculous "Employee of the Month" plaque every.single.month. For real, I have stacks of them in the attic, ha!

So, I know he can de dedicated enough to do this. I know he's motivated to get through it. But we're also trying to be realistic about how challenging this will be while we're in the midst of it, so I do appreciate the insight from those who've experienced it.

And we are absolutely on board with online classes from a community college that is close by. If I'd had good sense 20 yrs ago, that's what I'd have done, but instead here I am still repaying student loans from my undergrad AND graduate degrees, dang it. So even if we have to chip away slowly, we'll do it. He met with an admissions counselor and they discussed which classes will transfer to the program he's interested in, and it's enough to keep him busy online for at least 18 mos. And yes, we know about renting textbooks. Why wasn't this an option back in the day??? I remember forking out over $400 on textbooks every freakin' semester, and then reselling them for maybe $75-100 at the end and being absolutely disgusted.

Now, what happens then, we have NO IDEA . As mentioned, engineering is a very lab-heavy major, so we'll just have to walk that put as we can because obviously that can't be done online and uhh, he works a full-time job. I'm already looking into returning to work on a part-time basis just to help ease some of his load. Part of me is like, "Why in the world are we doing all this at age FORTY???" But we both know its never too late, and that you can never waste education. Also, in our area, engineers are in incredibly high demand and make great $$$ right out of the gate. It's projected to be a very high demand career for the next decade at least.

Please continue to add any insight you might feel is helpful! As I said, we really want to hear from others who are or have been in this position. Thanks!

 

[TwinkleKS]

I just finished my masters in engineering. I work full time, travel for work, and have three small children (2,4,4). So it can be done Does your husbands current company offer tuition reimbursement? Mine offers $5000 a year, not much but it helps.

 

[kamik86]

A few questions:

What kind of engineering? The answer to that will help shape if you are looking at something that can have some online learning or if alot will have to be in person. (You can't build robots over the internet, you can however develop software over the internet)
There will be some class taht can be done from home either way (core math and science classes)

You mentioned chemistry but depending on the type of engineering physics might be more useful. My engineering school required physics for most of the engineers and chemistry was more optional.

 

[kamik86]

Also make sure he is ready for the idea that he may have alot of team projects. I had some trouble with those during my masters becasue all the on campus students that were full time students (meaning they were taking 3 classes and didn't have a job while I had 40 hours a week and took 2 classes) didn't understand that those of us with jobs couldn't drop everything to help them if they had a problem. I don't care if the thing is due at noon I will finish my part the night before and will not be available to help that day, so if you have questions for me your going to have to do your part early too!

 

[Svhadden]

A few questions:

What kind of engineering? The answer to that will help shape if you are looking at something that can have some online learning or if alot will have to be in person. (You can't build robots over the internet, you can however develop software over the internet)
There will be some class taht can be done from home either way (core math and science classes)

You mentioned chemistry but depending on the type of engineering physics might be more useful. My engineering school required physics for most of the engineers and chemistry was more optional.

Petroleum engineering, perhaps chemical engineering. I do think one syllabus lists an organic chemistry class, but yes, they're all heavy on the physics. And we've seen so many course outlines that my brain is a bit fried, so there's no telling where I read organic chemistry lol.

So, we're aware that after his core work is done, online/distance options will dwindle drastically. Again, we have no idea what will happen at that point, but we have a bit of time to prepare and work out a plan.

 

[Bellestreak]

I dont have any specific advice, just to tell you, you arent alone. We husband and I are both 40, and I am going back for my masters in social work (I'm also pregnant with our second child). When I am done, he is going after his MBA. It's going to make for some pretty busy years coming up, but I really think you *never* stop growing and changing. When I turned 40, people kept saying things like 40 is the new 30, kind of dumb, but it is what you make of it. GL with everything!

 

[KBoopaloo]

Also make sure he is ready for the idea that he may have alot of team projects. I had some trouble with those during my masters becasue all the on campus students that were full time students (meaning they were taking 3 classes and didn't have a job while I had 40 hours a week and took 2 classes) didn't understand that those of us with jobs couldn't drop everything to help them if they had a problem. I don't care if the thing is due at noon I will finish my part the night before and will not be available to help that day, so if you have questions for me your going to have to do your part early too!

This has been a challenge for me as well as I am in a Masters program done mostly online. One of my classes had several group projects which I did not expect. Everyone in the program is a working professional and we are scattered all over the country so it was difficult finding times to "meet up" to get the work done.

We ended up forming groups based on time zone so we were at least all dealing with the same clock but my industry is basically 24/7 so no one was working the same schedule at their full time job. Add to that the blizzard that hit over the days we had set aside to do most of our work via skype and it added a lot of stress over worrying about the power going out, etc.

Having said all that, overall going back to school has been great for me and once I figured out some balance, I was able to make it all work. Best of luck to your family!

 

[Svhadden]

I dont have any specific advice, just to tell you, you arent alone. We husband and I are both 40, and I am going back for my masters in social work (I'm also pregnant with our second child). When I am done, he is going after his MBA. It's going to make for some pretty busy years coming up, but I really think you *never* stop growing and changing. When I turned 40, people kept saying things like 40 is the new 30, kind of dumb, but it is what you make of it. GL with everything!

Bellestreak, I have my Masters in social work .

And it is quite encouraging to hear others who are doing this successfully. You know, I don't *feel* forty haha! So I totally get the "40 is the new 30" thing. Well, I do feel like I have more sense than I did then . I think my DH would agree that he feels more focused and motivated now that he's in his forties.

 

[Svhadden]

This has been a challenge for me as well as I am in a Masters program done mostly online. One of my classes had several group projects which I did not expect. Everyone in the program is a working professional and we are scattered all over the country so it was difficult finding times to "meet up" to get the work done.

We ended up forming groups based on time zone so we were at least all dealing with the same clock but my industry is basically 24/7 so no one was working the same schedule at their full time job. Add to that the blizzard that hit over the days we had set aside to do most of our work via skype and it added a lot of stress over worrying about the power going out, etc.

Having said all that, overall going back to school has been great for me and once I figured out some balance, I was able to make it all work. Best of luck to your family!

Thank you! The practical advice really helps .

 

[Bellestreak]

Bellestreak, I have my Masters in social work .

And it is quite encouraging to hear others who are doing this successfully. You know, I don't *feel* forty haha! So I totally get the "40 is the new 30" thing. Well, I do feel like I have more sense than I did then . I think my DH would agree that he feels more focused and motivated now that he's in his forties.

My husband is an Engineer, so I guess we have some things in common
I agree about the focus. As long as I don't spend too much time listening to my 19 year old neice talk about how old I am, Im good with 40

 

[kiddisney]

hi - i started back at 40 - just finished at 50 - my bachelor was in engineering and masters is in engineering and project management - also have 3 kids - one born during my studies (this is why it took 10 years - i took time off after his birth) - i did take courses on campus and on-line - and recommend taking on-line courses because you can work them around family demands - it is a little tough - but doing homework is easier when they're in bed - lol -

 

[Svhadden]

hi - i started back at 40 - just finished at 50 - my bachelor was in engineering and masters is in engineering and project management - also have 3 kids - one born during my studies (this is why it took 10 years - i took time off after his birth) - i did take courses on campus and on-line - and recommend taking on-line courses because you can work them around family demands - it is a little tough - but doing homework is easier when they're in bed - lol -

Wow, Kiddisney, that's awesome! Your story is quite encouraging . Can you give me a bit of info?

First of all, I'm concerned about how challenging it will be for my husband to jump back into the higher maths and sciences that will be required. Did you find it helpful to go back and re-familiarize yourself with certain material? Any advice you'd have on preparing to go into those tougher subjects?

Also, how did you handle the heavy load of lab work required for your bachelors? Were you working at that time? Just trying to get an idea of what our future is going to look like lol.

Thanks again!

 

[drinkme]

I haven't read other replies so sorry if I'm repeating.

For my Bachelor's (in math) I worked for the university and received free tuition. For my master's I applied for a grant and received around $12,000. This was in the 90's when $12,000 for school went far. Lol. Also, this was a competitive grant not a need grant. There are ways to get through higher Ed without taking out student loans.

 

[SarahKate]

I'll jump on the bandwagon. Congrats on taking the leap. It's such a great accomplishment and something you do for yourself.

I just graduated with my bachelors in communication this spring and I'm 39. Had gotten my associates out of high school but then life happened, work, marriage, a kid, etc

We didn't really qualify for any assistance other ham a few small scholarships. So most of my tuition Iis in the form of student loans. But I still consider myself lucky because I just had two yrs of tuition instead of four. And I pretty quickly transitioned to a role that requires a degree and my salary increase went up by about 12k a year! So college was definitely a good decision for me.