TOT-I Need One for My Brother

[ctinct]

Not sure how I feel about how I reacted to this little girl last night. I saw our first trick or treaters coming down the street by car. They were running from house to house, so I kind of had the thought they were trying to maximize their haul. There were two children about 11 years old and one older teenager, I'd say about 18 or so. I gave them each two things apiece. Then, one of the younger girls said to me, "I need some for my brother, too." I asked her where her brother was. Turns out he was in the car. I then asked why he didn't come to the door. "He's only one." Now, if he had been sick or something, I would probably have given her EXTRA extra candy. But he was one! I was sort of dumbfounded then, and politely said "I gave you two-you can share with him."

Last night I was peeved she asked. First of all, there was the I NEED part. Not, "may I please have some"...but this morning I don't blame her for asking that way. Mom probably told her to ask. Then I was thinking what the heck, I don't recall giving my kids candy when they were one. It's been a while since my kids were that young, though. Do little kids typically eat candy? This morning, on the other hand, I am feeling kind of bad. It wasn't her fault she was told to ask for her brother, and it was only a few pieces of candy after all. Also, I now feel bad that I told her to share, but yet the other two kids with her got the same amont of candy and presumably will not have to share it. Anyhow, in hindsight, I feel like the Halloween grinch. If I had a do-over, I would give her the candy, although I would have been a little irked. What would you have done?

 

[Green Tea]

I had 2 little children brought to the door by the mother-I always like to see the parents involved and supervising. I give the little girls their candy. Then mom sticks her bag out and says TOT. Huh? I gave her the candy but was dumbfounded.

 

[shortbun]

no judgements here. we usually suggest that kids take one for the parents who are travelling with them and if a child asked for one for her brother -she'd get it, no questions asked. I have other stuff to worry about, lol!

 

[antsss]

Last night one of the houses in our neighborhood was giving out Starbuck's chocolates specifically to the parents accompanying children!

And DS8 who is very afraid of big dogs cowered at the curb of several houses last night while DD6 and DS10 pointed him out to the homeowner and asked for something for him. He would yell "Trick or Treat" and then yell an even louder "Thank You" after they realized the issue and handed something to his sibling, smiled and waved and understood what was going on.

 

[NMAmy]

I look at it like this--It's inexpensive candy, not golden nuggets. I'll give candy for their second cousin who is home with the flu or the one year old in the car or the teenagers without a costume or even for the adult who is hauling the kid from house to house in 40 degree weather. It's Halloween and I'm not going to quibble.

 

[anniemae]

Totally agree with NMAmy!

Also, on Halloween, kids turn into crazy little goblins! Its all the sugar, costumes, commotion, parties, candy etc. The manners go out the window, so yes, he could have asked nicer instead of demanding, but I'm sure he was just hopped up on sugar!

Don't beat yourself up, you were just caught off guard, and I'm sure his brother got plenty of candy.

 

[Meriweather]

Not sure I would give to the Need it for my brother one....but I would to the mom with the bag.
All of our parents stayed back on the drive way, but if they would have come up, I would have given them one too. Why not??

 

[aprilgail2]

no judgements here. we usually suggest that kids take one for the parents who are travelling with them and if a child asked for one for her brother -she'd get it, no questions asked. I have other stuff to worry about, lol!

I look at it like this--It's inexpensive candy, not golden nuggets. I'll give candy for their second cousin who is home with the flu or the one year old in the car or the teenagers without a costume or even for the adult who is hauling the kid from house to house in 40 degree weather. It's Halloween and I'm not going to quibble.

thank you from someone whos child was devastated that she could not go out trick or treating since she has H1N1. She cried for hours when she found out she would miss halloween. We have some great friends and great neighbors here though and starting in the morning one friend dropped off a goody bag for her, then some neighbors dropped off bags of candy for her, and one of her friends and her mom stopped by with brownies and the girl gave her half of the halloween candy she collected. At 830 the 7th grade girl a few doors down knocked on the door with a whole bag of candy she had- she said she knew my daughter couldn't go so she went out and trick or treated for her!! It really made her day!!

 

[Kimberle]

It's just candy. If you feel like you're getting "ripped off" by a kid, then turn your light off and don't welcome trick or treaters. (I'm not speaking to anyone in particular, just in general.) Last night I took my 10yo and her friend out. Lots of houses welcomed the kids, lots did not. We just avoided the houses w/ no lights. We have many houses w/ Seniors that really enjoy seeing the kids in their costumes.

If you don't want to pass out candy, then by all means don't.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I probably would have either given her an extra candy or would have said, "I don't have anything a 1 year old could eat." It would all depend on my mood.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Totally agree with NMAmy!

Also, on Halloween, kids turn into crazy little goblins! Its all the sugar, costumes, commotion, parties, candy etc. The manners go out the window, so yes, he could have asked nicer instead of demanding, but I'm sure he was just hopped up on sugar!

Don't beat yourself up, you were just caught off guard, and I'm sure his brother got plenty of candy.

Oh I know. I had to remind my six year old, who is normally very polite, to say thank you at a few houses. I noticed at one the man gave him a candy and he started to turn around without saying thank you headache, I opened my mouth to say something (usually all it took was his name) and the guy said, "Do you like it?" My son said, "yes, thank you." I thought that was a nice way for the man to remind him to use his manners.

 

[Green Tea]

I wasn't being stingy with the befuddlement of mom asking asking for candy too. It just seemed so bizarre to me. I can't imagine carrying a bag myself. Weird.

 

[mkymouse1928]

thank you from someone whos child was devastated that she could not go out trick or treating since she has H1N1. She cried for hours when she found out she would miss halloween. We have some great friends and great neighbors here though and starting in the morning one friend dropped off a goody bag for her, then some neighbors dropped off bags of candy for her, and one of her friends and her mom stopped by with brownies and the girl gave her half of the halloween candy she collected. At 830 the 7th grade girl a few doors down knocked on the door with a whole bag of candy she had- she said she knew my daughter couldn't go so she went out and trick or treated for her!! It really made her day!!

Sounds like your daughter probably had the best haul of the day. I'm sure it sucked being sick and not getting to participate in the fun of dressing up and going out with her friends, but she will always remember the year she was sick and got wayyyyy more goodies than anyone else!

 

[kim929]

I had alot of mothers tot with babies under the age of 1. We also had alot of adults to. This is the first year I ever had adults with bags for them selves.

 

[TheGoofster]

Not sure how I feel about how I reacted to this little girl last night. I saw our first trick or treaters coming down the street by car. They were running from house to house, so I kind of had the thought they were trying to maximize their haul. There were two children about 11 years old and one older teenager, I'd say about 18 or so. I gave them each two things apiece. Then, one of the younger girls said to me, "I need some for my brother, too." I asked her where her brother was. Turns out he was in the car. I then asked why he didn't come to the door. "He's only one." Now, if he had been sick or something, I would probably have given her EXTRA extra candy. But he was one! I was sort of dumbfounded then, and politely said "I gave you two-you can share with him."

Last night I was peeved she asked. First of all, there was the I NEED part. Not, "may I please have some"...but this morning I don't blame her for asking that way. Mom probably told her to ask. Then I was thinking what the heck, I don't recall giving my kids candy when they were one. It's been a while since my kids were that young, though. Do little kids typically eat candy? This morning, on the other hand, I am feeling kind of bad. It wasn't her fault she was told to ask for her brother, and it was only a few pieces of candy after all. Also, I now feel bad that I told her to share, but yet the other two kids with her got the same amont of candy and presumably will not have to share it. Anyhow, in hindsight, I feel like the Halloween grinch. If I had a do-over, I would give her the candy, although I would have been a little irked. What would you have done?

Don't feel bad, and definitely don't beat yourself up over this. So often we do things on the spur of the moment, and then later when we think about it, we wish that we had acted (reacted) differently.
I'm sure that as soon as the girl knocked on the door of the next house, that she had already forgotten about what you said. So if she most likely isn't even thinking about it, there's no reason why you should either.
What you did wasn't right or wrong, it was simply your reaction to a situation.
It's easy for others to say you should have done this or that, but honestly, no one else was there but you. If you feel that you should have reacted differently then fine, next time (if it should ever happen again), you will probably make a different decision, but for now, just chalk it up as a good learning experience, and then let it go.

 

[BabyPiglet]

I would've just given it to her, you know, it's just candy. Don't worry about it though; I'm sure she's forgotten all about it.

 

[J.C.&ALI'SMOM]

We live on a street that gets hundreds and hundreds of TOTers on Halloween. We live on a hill and rarely get any kids so we usually go down the street to a friends house and give out treats.

In the past we have gotten many, many tiny babes in arms with their parents holding a bag out. But we give them a treat anyway, even though there is no way a 4 mo. old can eat a Twix, lol!

One year we had some TOTers come late in the evening when things were wrapping up. There were 2 of them that were dressed with masks and were completely covered. They were adult height and we all were suspicious but gave them the treats anyway. We later found out that they were the mother and stepdad of a girl that lived up the street. They had to be in their 40s!!

One year we all got a big laugh when I was a little fed up with the treat thievery and made up a new rule. "No candy if you are smoking!" I mean if you are old enough to smoke, you don't need any candy on Halloween.

 

[clh2]

Just posting my ToT comments here...just didn't want to start a new thread...

Last year, I noticed one of our neighbors didn't come to our house, I then realized they had been out of town. When they got back I called and asked her to come over...she just HAD to see the pumpkin we carved.

This year, the same girl, now 7 or 8 came ToTing with her cousins. No problem, the more the merrier. They were accompanied by her big brother, who is in 11th grade. Nice big brother... even had on a ghost costume. No problem with giving him candy.

We didn't see too many costumes last night, which was a huge bummer for me because I LOVE to seet he kids in costumes. Darn weather - it was about 37 degress last night. I'll put in a request for a warm ToT next year!

I also had a group of older kids (again - saw coats not costumes) one of the girls was with a neighbor, but I saw "M" first. "M" has a little sister in 10th grade, "m". "m" is a friend of my DD - so I tossed in a couple of extras for "m", and told her was from my DD. I met "M" at a volunteer Girl Scout camp this past summer, and I was quite surprised that she even remembered my name.

And...if you are still with me...my funny story for the night. The neighbor who missed last year, LOVES our dog, so I let our dog out so she could pet him. Then as she was ready to leave, I put dog in the house, but stayed outside, since another group was coming up. I said hello to Joey, he marches right past me, on a mission to ring the doorbell and say trick or treat. Honest to pete - he would't take candy before he rang the doorbell. His mom cracked up too!

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

It's just candy. If you feel like you're getting "ripped off" by a kid, then turn your light off and don't welcome trick or treaters. (I'm not speaking to anyone in particular, just in general.) Last night I took my 10yo and her friend out. Lots of houses welcomed the kids, lots did not. We just avoided the houses w/ no lights. We have many houses w/ Seniors that really enjoy seeing the kids in their costumes.

If you don't want to pass out candy, then by all means don't.

The bolded line says it all. It's just candy. What's the big deal? I can only speak for myself, but I bought the candy for the sole purpose of giving it all away.

 

[Mad4Mickey]

I dont give candy to Teenagers LOL if you are driving you can go up to Walmart and buy your own . If they are with little ones walking them around I have no problems giving them candy .

I dont think you were wrong I may have done the same thing .

We turned our light on at 10:00 pm for my sister who was coming over to be able to see the porch and TEENAGERS were TOT . They rang our bell and I opened it to about 10 of them standing there . I said " Not happening guys" they were cussing up a storm so I let the dog out on the porch and said "If you wanna come back he will be waiting for you" of course I was pointing at my 130 lb rottie they just laughed but I wanted them to know I was notputing up with any crazy crap when they left I called security and had them go out to run them off the street NOW I AM THE HALLOWEEN GRINGE !Not you my
I like to watch the the little light on the golf cart when Frank gets to chase people who dont live here . He needs something to live for and I need to see my 800 bucks in HOA dues working