Toddlers and Tiaras........O.M.G.

[ms.yt]

Seriously most of those mothers are nuts (IMHO) and this one seemed even more over the top.

I have never watched the show, but this doesn't surprise me. I live about 30 miles from where last night's show was filmed (and used to live there). I'm sure there were people on there that I knew. I teach with a lady who has three daughters and is all into pageants. She didn't have her kids compete in that pageant, I'm sure only because she didn't want to be ridiculed on tv.

She had me doing comp cards for pageants for her friends a couple of summer ago, and the pictures alone made me sick to my stomach! Especially the ones that are so heavily photoshopped the child doesn't look human.

And by the way, the poster who called the OP homophobic is just being ridiculous and trying to start a fight.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

I'm not calling the poster a homophobe, I'm calling the statement homophobic... and it is, therefor I still stand by it.

Although, if it were a case of NO child that young painting their nails, I would understand but from what I read that's not what OP is concerned about. There is NOTHING wrong with a boy's nails being painted, as long as it's their choice. I remember boys nails being painted in school, although I remember them being a a little older, but no one had a problem with it.

What is the problem with it? Please tell me. The actual reason.

How is the OP's statement homophobic??? I know plenty of gay men who would NEVER paint their nails because its seen as a (mostly) women's thing to do---and therefore doesn't appeal to them.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I have never watched that show so I cannot really comment on the specific case--and if the little boy did not want his nails done then I think that is silly or worse. I honestly would not think the pageant circuit would see polish on boys as a postive thing anyway (but I can't say why I get that vibe from them). If this thread had just stayed talking about the episode I would have glanced at it and moved on.

But what I don't get is all of the comments on this thread about how no one will ever paint their boy's nails, it is weird, cross gender behavior, their husbands would have a heart attack, etc. Why the heck is a little bit of nail polish that comes right off an issue? Are all of you who are so opposed to it also opposed to girls with short hair cuts or girls playing "boy" sports, etc I am guessing not because there always seems to be such a double standard on these issues.

funkymonkey--I used to teach preschool and when the beauty shop was up all of the kids were allowed to put on the nail polish. When the dress ups were out all of the kids were allowed to wear the princess things too (and the pirate things and the police uniforms, etc etc). It was no different than any other pretend play and we NEVER said any toy/game/play was for jsut one gender or the other and I would NEVER place my children in a school which did.

The full disclosure is that my 11 year old boy does wear nail polish (more than his 13 year old sister). He gets his sister to paint his nails about once a month, mostly in "boy" colours (silver, blue, black, green, orange) but if he can convince me to spring for a mani/pedi before vacation (I have done it twice) he gets bright red with a white mickey head (to match the smoke stacks on DCL). He is happy and it does not harm anybody (including himself) so I do not see why that would be an issue with anyone--but judging from the comments here I gather it is--so sad how we all have to judge such innocuous about others and be critical

 

[merryweather20]

I know lots of gay men and none of them paint their nails, so I don't get what's homophobic about the OP. If anything, it would be more transgender-phobic (is that a word? )

I have no problem with little boys (or girls) asking for a manicure and getting it. I do have a problem with wannabe beauty queen mothers living vicariously through their children and pushing them into this stuff, as it's obvious many of the moms on this show do. I also have a problem with judges who give better scores to spray tanned, false-teethed children, thereby teaching others that that's what they "have to" do to be competitive.

This. I'm not sure why the previous poster thought this was a "homophobic" thing. For that matter I know plenty of guys who paint their nails and they're all straight.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Since when is nail polish on guys a sign of homosexuality? I have worked in the music industry for years and the only guys I know who paint their nails are straight musicians. Some of my gay male friends do love a nice manicure or pedicure but draw the line at polish. The only exception I personally know of is a friend in Nashville who puts on a fabulous drag show and wears bright colorful nail polish when he is in character.

I can't wait to tell my gay male friends that they need to be wearing more polish!

As for the show "Toddlers and Tiaras" - it's a trainwreck and I can't help but watch for the sheer shock value. Not all pageants are these "full glitz" ones that are shown - there are actually pageants that showcase children in a more natural look but they wouldn't make for good television.

 

[luvmy3]

I have never watched that show so I cannot really comment on the specific case--and if the little boy did not want his nails done then I think that is silly or worse. I honestly would not think the pageant circuit would see polish on boys as a postive thing anyway (but I can't say why I get that vibe from them). If this thread had just stayed talking about the episode I would have glanced at it and moved on.

But what I don't get is all of the comments on this thread about how no one will ever paint their boy's nails, it is weird, cross gender behavior, their husbands would have a heart attack, etc. Why the heck is a little bit of nail polish that comes right off an issue? Are all of you who are so opposed to it also opposed to girls with short hair cuts or girls playing "boy" sports, etc I am guessing not because there always seems to be such a double standard on these issues.

funkymonkey--I used to teach preschool and when the beauty shop was up all of the kids were allowed to put on the nail polish. When the dress ups were out all of the kids were allowed to wear the princess things too (and the pirate things and the police uniforms, etc etc). It was no different than any other pretend play and we NEVER said any toy/game/play was for jsut one gender or the other and I would NEVER place my children in a school which did.

The full disclosure is that my 11 year old boy does wear nail polish (more than his 13 year old sister). He gets his sister to paint his nails about once a month, mostly in "boy" colours (silver, blue, black, green, orange) but if he can convince me to spring for a mani/pedi before vacation (I have done it twice) he gets bright red with a white mickey head (to match the smoke stacks on DCL). He is happy and it does not harm anybody (including himself) so I do not see why that would be an issue with anyone--but judging from the comments here I gather it is--so sad how we all have to judge such innocuous about others and be critical

I wouldn't paint either of my ds's nails because I would be making them a target for ridicule by their friends. They are young, they have not reached the age that its RockStar cool to have your nails painted. The fact is, it would be seen as weird, or like cross gender behavior, and they would be made fun of for it. As an adult I can think of many reasons why it is really not a big deal for a boy to wear some polish, however we are talking about kids and they just don't think the same way. I wouldn't willingly set my kids up like that. However when you say there is a double standard for short hair on girls, or boy sports, you are absolutely right, its accepted for girls to do those things, its not really accepted for boys to go around wearing make-up.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Was the kid being forced to go? If not, I think the OP is quite homophobic and I'm kind of offended by that... what's wrong with painting a boy's nails? Any color. And heaven forbid he likes the color purple or pink...

Overall, I do feel these moms are nuts and insane but, if the mom is just getting the kid a manicure, I think of him as lucky. A child who is on that show should be thankful they're not getting tans and teeth whitening.

Not at all homophobic. If you knew me, that would be the funniest statement ever

You said he was lucky to only have a manicure. Are you ok with the mother screaming at him to sit still while she applied the eyeliner?

This was about the Mom's behavior, the total package, especially the screaming at him. I thought he was adorable and his happy attitude, unlike the meltdowns they usually show, was a joy. He loved doing his routines and was comfortable in his own skin. He is going to be fine despite his shrew of a mother.

 

[Jennasis]

]I'm not calling the poster a homophobe,[/B] I'm calling the statement homophobic... and it is, therefor I still stand by it.

Although, if it were a case of NO child that young painting their nails, I would understand but from what I read that's not what OP is concerned about. There is NOTHING wrong with a boy's nails being painted, as long as it's their choice. I remember boys nails being painted in school, although I remember them being a a little older, but no one had a problem with it.

What is the problem with it? Please tell me. The actual reason.

Actually, hon, ya did....behold: "I think the OP is quite homophobic"

THAT is what you said. Not "i think that's a homophobic statement/sentiment". you called the OP a terrible terrible thing.

 

[Anjelica]

Actually, hon, ya did....behold: "I think the OP is quite homophobic"

THAT is what you said. Not "i think that's a homophobic statement/sentiment". you called the OP a terrible terrible thing.

I was quite shocked that someone even brought up the word homophobic in the context of the originial post. I can't believe people throw around loaded/charged words with no context or basis for doing so.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I wouldn't paint either of my ds's nails because I would be making them a target for ridicule by their friends. They are young, they have not reached the age that its RockStar cool to have your nails painted. The fact is, it would be seen as weird, or like cross gender behavior, and they would be made fun of for it. As an adult I can think of many reasons why it is really not a big deal for a boy to wear some polish, however we are talking about kids and they just don't think the same way. I wouldn't willingly set my kids up like that. However when you say there is a double standard for short hair on girls, or boy sports, you are absolutely right, its accepted for girls to do those things, its not really accepted for boys to go around wearing make-up.

See now I just mentioned to my son that other kids might tease him so he should take that into consideration before wearing polish and he always said he didn't care. Funny thing, he wore polish to school nearly all the time in Kindergrarten and first grade. He never once got teased by the other kids. Not once that he or I or his sister ever heard--but we all overheard disparaging comments from adults on several occasion. He asked me once why adults are so much meaner than kids and I had no good answer to give him

The big thing my kids (in particular my DD) got teased about in school when they were young was not going to the same church as about 90% of their classmates did. I am not sure how i could have prevented that--but it seems kids will find a way to tease when they want to (DD is an easy target because it really bothers her) and not bother when the kid does not care (DS could really care less--if he does not care what the other little boys say why should I?). I don't know, to me it just feels like teaching them to cave to peer pressure if I tell them they cannot do something harmless (like paint nails) JUST because they may be teased--if they want to and don't care about the teasing. But I can see your side of it as well (thus why I said I did used to warn DS he could get teased and let him make his own decision)--your posts did not bother me--it's the posts about "feminizing young men," thinking it is "weird," and giving dad a "heart attack" which struck me.

 

[jrmasm]

I think paying for a manicure for a 4 year old is weird. Boy or girl.

 

[Magic Mom]

I don't understand how it's even a homophobic statement, unless you're saying that painted fingernails are the international call sign for gays everywhere.

They gay guys I know might go for a manicure, but would not wear fingernail polish. Are they homophobic too.

 

[Magic Mom]

I think paying for a manicure for a 4 year old is weird. Boy or girl.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

DS4 loves to put on nail polish. He also has a flowing green dress that he likes to wear, to dance around in. When he listens to "Nutcracker", he wants to be Clara. Sometimes, he asks for barrettes in his hair.

He has two older sisters (and a mortified older brother). He's just having fun, eventually, he'll outgrow it, and I can show the photos to his prom date.

I didn't read the OP as homophobic at all, and I'm stunned that someone could be so ignorant as to confuse cross-dressing (which more straight men do than gay, BTW) and homosexuality. It was more a comment on the overall show. For those who might have missed this trainwreck, it's really ironic--they show the mom, saying how much her little Snooky loves pageants, loves to practice, loves getting all the make-up and stuff--and then they cut to little Snooky, screaming her head off because she hates to practice/tan/get false eyelashes. Oh, these women are living in such a state of denial! And the money they spend--it's insane! And they'll be living in a trailer, or need dental work, but they're laughing about "Do I pay this hospital bill, or do we do another pageant?"

 

[ChrizJen]

My daughter used to paint my sons nails, here at our house with no cameras around. Now that he is 13 he would be really upset by it- and if it were on tv he would be mortified.

I'm no homophobe -but you have to think of your kids feelings in the future.

I agree that the original use of the word "homophobic" in this thread was inappropriate. Having an interest in traditionally feminine things does not make a boy gay.
However, Mermaid, the fact that your 13-year old son would be upset if he found out that you painted his nails when he was younger suggests to me that he most likely never really had an interest in those things to begin with.

There are, however, plenty of little boys who like to play with dolls and dress up and wear nail polish. How do you think they would feel at 13 if they felt like that was stifled and treated as bad??? Did you stop and think of it the other way around too??? That perhaps by allowing a boy to have his nails painted (if he WANTS them painted) might be a parent's way of thinking of his/her kid's feelings in the future?

As to the OP, I agree. Given the climate of the show, most likely this was a wacky stage mom who crossed the line. That show never ceases to amaze me...

 

[ChrizJen]

See now I just mentioned to my son that other kids might tease him so he should take that into consideration before wearing polish and he always said he didn't care. Funny thing, he wore polish to school nearly all the time in Kindergrarten and first grade. He never once got teased by the other kids. Not once that he or I or his sister ever heard--but we all overheard disparaging comments from adults on several occasion. He asked me once why adults are so much meaner than kids and I had no good answer to give him

The big thing my kids (in particular my DD) got teased about in school when they were young was not going to the same church as about 90% of their classmates did. I am not sure how i could have prevented that--but it seems kids will find a way to tease when they want to (DD is an easy target because it really bothers her) and not bother when the kid does not care (DS could really care less--if he does not care what the other little boys say why should I?). I don't know, to me it just feels like teaching them to cave to peer pressure if I tell them they cannot do something harmless (like paint nails) JUST because they may be teased--if they want to and don't care about the teasing. But I can see your side of it as well (thus why I said I did used to warn DS he could get teased and let him make his own decision)--your posts did not bother me--it's the posts about "feminizing young men," thinking it is "weird," and giving dad a "heart attack" which struck me.

Absolutely PERFECT expression of what I was thinking!!
THANK YOU!!!

 

[luvmy3]

See now I just mentioned to my son that other kids might tease him so he should take that into consideration before wearing polish and he always said he didn't care. Funny thing, he wore polish to school nearly all the time in Kindergrarten and first grade. He never once got teased by the other kids. Not once that he or I or his sister ever heard--but we all overheard disparaging comments from adults on several occasion. He asked me once why adults are so much meaner than kids and I had no good answer to give him

The big thing my kids (in particular my DD) got teased about in school when they were young was not going to the same church as about 90% of their classmates did. I am not sure how i could have prevented that--but it seems kids will find a way to tease when they want to (DD is an easy target because it really bothers her) and not bother when the kid does not care (DS could really care less--if he does not care what the other little boys say why should I?). I don't know, to me it just feels like teaching them to cave to peer pressure if I tell them they cannot do something harmless (like paint nails) JUST because they may be teased--if they want to and don't care about the teasing. But I can see your side of it as well (thus why I said I did used to warn DS he could get teased and let him make his own decision)--your posts did not bother me--it's the posts about "feminizing young men," thinking it is "weird," and giving dad a "heart attack" which struck me.

I think as long as it is his choice and he has no problems with it then there is no problem. I guess it really depends on the kid, I would never do that to my oldest ds, he is already different from other boys his age, and has been bullied in the past so even if he wanted to I doubt I would let him (at this age). I don't want him to be targeted any more than he already is, and being that I spend alot of time with his class I just know how those boys (and some of the girls are). When he is older and is finding himself and looking for ways to express himself, and wearing nailpolish is one of those ways, its not something I would forbid.
My other ds would never consider it because he is very much concerned with appearing the same as everyone else. He bumped his forhead and had a huge egg and bruise and wanted to keep it covered with his hair because he didn't want anyone to see it, he doesn't want to stand out or appear different.

 

[Mermaid02]

I agree that the original use of the word "homophobic" in this thread was inappropriate. Having an interest in traditionally feminine things does not make a boy gay.
However, Mermaid, the fact that your 13-year old son would be upset if he found out that you painted his nails when he was younger suggests to me that he most likely never really had an interest in those things to begin with.

There are, however, plenty of little boys who like to play with dolls and dress up and wear nail polish. How do you think they would feel at 13 if they felt like that was stifled and treated as bad??? Did you stop and think of it the other way around too??? That perhaps by allowing a boy to have his nails painted (if he WANTS them painted) might be a parent's way of thinking of his/her kid's feelings in the future?

As to the OP, I agree. Given the climate of the show, most likely this was a wacky stage mom who crossed the line. That show never ceases to amaze me...

What?

My son did like to have his nails painted as a youngster- and at the company Christmas party when he was 3 he wanted a doll not a truck (we made sure he got the doll- despite Santa's objection) Another Mom in the line said to her husband, "See, that little boy got a doll." and the husband made some stupid comment about how HIS son would not be playing with dolls. My point is that this Mom is doing something on TV that could cause him embarassment later. The same could be said for that whole stupid show. Dressing your toddlers up like adults is really disturbing- I believe someone has used the word Prostitot before.

I don't really understand your beef with my post.

 

[Planogirl]

I know some gay men and they don't paint their nails. I think that leaping to the homophobic thing is quite a leap.

I'm not sure if painting the fingernails of any young child is actually a good idea but to each their own.

 

[ChrizJen]

What?

My son did like to have his nails painted as a youngster- and at the company Christmas party when he was 3 he wanted a doll not a truck (we made sure he got the doll- despite Santa's objection) Another Mom in the line said to her husband, "See, that little boy got a doll." and the husband made some stupid comment about how HIS son would not be playing with dolls. My point is that this Mom is doing something on TV that could cause him embarassment later. The same could be said for that whole stupid show. Dressing your toddlers up like adults is really disturbing- I believe someone has used the word Prostitot before.

I don't really understand your beef with my post.

Oops! I apologize...I misread your post. I thought you were saying that you wouldn't allow your son those things because you wanted to save him the embarassment later. I see what you were saying now, and I actually agree with you 100%.
That show really illustrates just how crazy people can be. It's sad and I really feel for those kids. They're gonna need some extra therapy someday...