Toddlers and hitting

[justhat]

Ever since my daughter started preschool about a month ago she has begun hitting people/things whenever she gets angry, upset, or frustrated. How do I get her to stop? We've tried saying a firm 'no hitting' and time outs but neither seems to work (though we still do both each time just to be consistent). I know a lot of it is just the age and inability to express what she wants/needs (her vocab. consists of maybe 20-30 words now, which is nowhere near what she understands and wants to tell us) and that she'll grow out of it, but in the meantime I would really like to stop it. I worked in a preschool/daycare before she was born with the toddler class, so I know as kids gain language skills the hitting usually decreases, but that doesn't really do much for me when she's hitting right now. I especially don't want her hitting kids at school, which is I'm guessing where she got the idea from since we don't hit at home and she never hit at all until she started school. TIA!

 

[Beth76]

I think you're doing all you can right now. My 15-month-old just started this too. He seems to get very upset when we remove him and tell him firmly "NO!". I think it will just take a while to sink in.

 

[mommytotwo]

Could you tell her that when she doesn't like what someone does or when she is upset, just to hold her fists together instead of hitting?

 

[TerryKitten]

Your doing OK... With our DS if he looks like hes going to bite me or something else he shouldn't I say "Hey... don't bite that". If he does bite once I get his attention, look into his eyes and say "No biting" and warn him if he does it again we are going to quit whatever we are doing. If he keeps biting me, I just get up and leave the area or put him down. When he calms down I explain that he shouldn't bite/hit people and that they don't enjoy being hit/bit. Just stick to your guns, eventually they will stop. We find that DS bites/hits more when hes tired or teething. Sometimes when he bites things (like the coutch,chair, etc) and then me, I give him a teether and say bite that! Good luck.

 

[Kermit]

I think you're on the right track and will just need to wait it out while providing correction like you're doing. You may want to see if you can find a book about it, and then when it happens, you can talk about the book. Also, it's important to be sure that you don't do anything she might interpret as "giving in" when she does hit.

The best prevention I've found for my own kids is finding out what their triggers are keeping them from those situations until they're able to handle them better. But sometimes that's not possible to do, or with something like preschool, it may be possible to remove her, but the benefits may not outweigh the disadvantages for you.