Toddler sleep issues - waking at 4:20/4:30 a.m. - any advice?

[lecach]

So DISers have given me great advice about so many things. I figured I would see if someone can help me with my DS's sleep problems.

My DS is 19 months old. He's been waking way too early - today it was 4:23!!! Here is a little history:

-only started sleeping "through the night" about 2 months ago

-naps at daycare from 11-12:30

-up until we moved out of our old house on June 7 he was sleeping until around 5:30/6

-we lived with SIL for 2 weeks (DS in a pack n play) and he slept until at least 5, most of the time 5:30/6

-we moved into our new house on June 23. DS started waking around4/4:30/4:40. He wakes up crying but as soon as I enter the room he is fine. Although he does put his head on my shoulder so I know he's tired.

I know the turmoil of all the house moving could be part of the problem. What we've done so far (no success) is on Monday we put up a dark curtain to block out light. Also on Monday we stopped the bedtime bottle and after a sippy of water and a few soft songs we put him to bed awake. He cried the first night for 5 minutes, last night he just talked to himself for 5 minutes and then was out. We also put him to bed a little earlier - at 7:00 (a lot of the books say that if your child isn't sleeping well he may need an earlier bedtime). Yesterday he woke at 4:28, today at 4:23. Today I decided 4:30 was as early as I was willing to get up so I let him cry until 4:30.

I've ordered a sound/sleep machine but it hasnt arrived.

Im so tired. And I know DS is too. I lost my temper this morning and said a few things to DS I am not proud of.

I need help! Anyone have any advice for me?

 

[floridaminnie]

I think it's from all the changes he's been through...new place again. Give it a couple of weeks to work itself out. The one thing you don't want to do is make it a habit of waking up that early and you going in and him needing you to go back to sleep. Let him cry himself back to sleep.

 

[mrsltg]

First - don't feel bad! I can't count the number of times I have sung, in lullaby form, "oh please just shut-up you little beast" ! My dd, 13 months, likes 3:30am. She does a family check starting with her sister - "Di-ja?", "Di-ja?", "Da-da?", "Ma-ma?" When no one answers she cries. If you walk in the room she's all smiles. She just wants to know what everyone else is doing.... We've begun to ignore her. She does settle back down it just takes a little while.

I know it's torturous but if you give in, he'll be doing this for a long time to come. My pediatrician once told me not to do anything I'm not prepared to do EVERY night. It can be heartbreaking to hear her (or for you, him), but they can settle back down. We've put a few toys in the crib she likes to play with. We always poke our head in the door and she's usually reading one of her fabric books... You'll know the difference between an "I'm awake come play with me" cry and a something's wrong cry.

Good luck - this too shall pass!

 

[ducklite]

I think it's from all the changes he's been through...new place again. Give it a couple of weeks to work itself out. The one thing you don't want to do is make it a habit of waking up that early and you going in and him needing you to go back to sleep. Let him cry himself back to sleep.

I agree with this 100%.

Is he still in a crib? Maybe it's time to move to a toddler bed for being "Such a big boy now! And we know big boys wake up happy and wait for their mama's without crying," or something like that.

Anne

 

[TEENEE]

I went through something similar with my ds when he was a year old. He had been sleeping through the night since he was 9 weeks old. We moved into an apartment when he was 1 year old. Every night he would wake up at about the same time. We finally realized his crib was on the same wall as the babies crib in the apartment next to us. He would here the other baby wake up and all the noise over in the next apartment and it would wake him up. I moved his crib to another part of the room and that solved the problem. Your little one might be hearing the neighbor leaving for work. Could you be my neighbor, my dh leaves for work at 4:30.

 

[Wishing on a star]

He may be waking up because he is hungry!

It is great to stop the bed-time bottle... But you still need to make sure he is fed something before bed. (yogurt, crackers and cheese, just anything...) If all he is getting is a sip of water, he is most probably waking up hungry.

 

[momof2inPA]

He's probably ready to stop napping, but since that won't happen at daycare, I would keep him up a little later and make sure he goes potty before bedtime if he's potty trained.

 

[lecach]

Thanks everyone. Maybe with all the turmoil of moving that he WILL work it all out.

To answer some questions:

- he is still in a crib. Until he tries to climb out we plan to keep him in it. His crib is convertible - the front gate thing comes off to make a toddler bed.

-there are only 3 houses on our section of the street and I know that the people on each side (we're the middle house) don't leave til after 7. BUT we are at the entrance/exit to the neighborhood so it's possible that someone else in the neighborhood is leaving early and waking him. That's why I thought the sound machine might work.

-he usually does have a snack before bed. And even when he WAS getting his bottle it was only 2 ounces. So if it is hunger it's not from the bottle stopping. I guess we can try to give him a "heavier" snack. But since he is sleeping 8-9 hours I think it's very likely that he would be hungry in the morning no matter what. I sure am after only 6 hours of sleep

Keep the suggestions and positive reinforcements coming. mrsltg: Im glad I am not the only one who has said mean things - in a loving way - to their child.Im going to be in trouble when he can repeat back what I say

 

[Wishing on a star]

I would NEVER recommend cutting naps for a baby of this age...
Many children still require a nap/rest time up until Kindergarten. (my son did) they need this sleep/break.

Check the guidelines for the amount of sleep that is normal and recommended for children of this age. Maybe somebody here has a link????

 

[MareQ]

I would NEVER recommend cutting naps for a baby of this age...
Many children still require a nap/rest time up until Kindergarten. (my son did) they need this sleep/break.

Check the guidelines for the amount of sleep that is normal and recommended for children of this age. Maybe somebody here has a link????

I agree- my 2.5 yo and 5 yo still take naps.

Personally - I would try putting him to bed a little bit later.

 

[Wishing on a star]

PS: I would NOT let him think that 4:30 is the time to 'get up and play'.

I would change him, get him a quick snack. and put him back down, religiously. 4:30 is way to early for him to be getting up for the day.

If he is sleeping 9 hours, then I agree to try putting him to bed a little later.

 

[katerkat]

I'm no help - when DS wakes up at 3:30 am, I bring him to our bed. He usually goes right back to sleep with us. This usually happens when we're going through changes - just back from a vacation or visitors have been here for a week. He takes about a week or so to adjust back to sleeping through the night.

 

[momof2inPA]

I would NEVER recommend cutting naps for a baby of this age...
Many children still require a nap/rest time up until Kindergarten. (my son did) they need this sleep/break.

All kids are different, and 1 1/2 hours is long for a nap. Another thought, maybe it's teeth.

 

[MareQ]

All kids are different, and 1 1/2 hours is long for a nap. Another thought, maybe it's teeth.

I don't think 1.5 hours is long for a nap at all for a child under 2 years of age that is only taking 1 nap a day...

 

[lecach]

You're right - it could be teeth. And it could be a growth spurt. We have always had a heck of a time with DS when he was going thru a spurt (mainly when he was an infant). And I have noticed that his feet especially are growing. So I guess that's possible too.

From what I have read his nap amount is right on track. The books also say kids this age should get a minimum of 12-14 hours of sleep a day. But DS has always been on the low side. Right now he's getting around 10 1/2 - 11 hours total.

 

[jcsbama]

I went through something similar with DD when she was that age. There's a thread somewhere on here asking for advice. We switched to a toddler bed, but that only made things worse. She was constantly coming to our room numerous times a night wanting in our bed. I finally figured out that she just needed a bigger bed. She had outgrown the baby size mattress.

We got such a great deal that instead of a twin, we bought DD a full size bed that converts to a Queen. She absolutely loves having a big bed like mommy and daddy. She tells us everynight she is going to sleep in her big girl bed. She only wakes up and comes to our room about once a week or so now. The best part is even the times she does come to our room during the night, I can walk her back to her bedroom and she climbs in her bed and immediately goes back to sleep.

DD is almost 27 months. We like for her to be in the bed no later than 8. She usually wakes up a little before or after 7. She also has about a 1.5 hour nap from 12:00 - 1:30.

 

[lecach]

So last night DS ate dinner later than usual - about 30 minutes before bedtime. And went to sleep around 7:15/7:20. And we used the sleep machine. And he woke at 4:08 . He did go back to sleep after a bottle for 45 minutes. But it took me half of that to get back to sleep. This is getting worse not better. And DH leaves Saturday to go on a business trip and wont be back til Tuesday night .