Toddler "leashes"

[TinkerPixxie]

The question is, who do I pay for this hour of psychotherapy?

-- Eric [/QUOTE]





You suddenly admitting there may be a time and a place or even a person or set of people who need such devices, once again your ignorance proceeds you. You have now decided a double standard applies here. Inconsistency, not a good quality.
You would not know by looking at me that I have a disability, however your first reaction would be to assume I'm physically able to contend with my 4 children alone in a busy public place, and thus assume I should not use the device in question. Perhaps I should wear a sign on my back that reads: "IM disabled and therefore my child is in a harness" . Just so people like you will not make assumptions and criticize my familles needs regarding safety.

I also dont think this extends to just persons with disabilities. {seen or unseen}


You are not judge and jury, you have no right to decide who and who does not need a safety device.


See you at Disney, remember Ill be the one wearing the sign on my back.

Tink~

 

[Nancyg56]

Your skills as a mind-reader are in doubt. Don't quit your day job.


Thank you for your prayers. I'll take all the help I can get. If I were more cynical I'd read between the lines of what you said, but I'm not a skilled mind-reader, either.

We can all agree we all love our children and we all do what we think is best for them and for us. PEACE.

-- Eric

Well, Eric....I guess you told me.

 

[CleveRocks]

You suddenly admitting there may be a time and a place or even a person or set of people who need such devices, once again your ignorance proceeds you. You have now decided a double standard applies here. Inconsistency, not a good quality.

Ah, but there are some appropriate double-standards out there, and I'm a firm believer in them. They are all around us. Let me give you a hypothetical situation. Let's say your son recently had abdominal surgery, and soon after his return to school they are working on doing sit-ups in gym class. Let's assume his doing sit-ups this soon after surgery would be bad for him, or cause him extreme pain, etc. Obviously he should be exempt from doing the sit-ups, but other kids without that (temporary) disability should not be exempt from doing sit-ups. I think that is an appropriate double-standard for the situation, one standard for the able-bodied kids and a second standard for the kid who, thankfully temporarily in this case, could not hope to safely and/or effectively meet that original standard. So yes, I think that SOME double-standards for people with disabilities are appropriate. Don't you?

The Americans With Disabilities Act of 1990 (ADA) is a federal embodiment of a double-standard. Since you equate double-standards with inconsistency, and inconsistency with "not a good quality," then ADA is not a good thing. Do you agree with that?

You would not know by looking at me that I have a disability, however your first reaction would be to assume I'm physically able to contend with my 4 children alone in a busy public place, and thus assume I should not use the device in question. Perhaps I should wear a sign on my back that reads: "IM disabled and therefore my child is in a harness" . Just so people like you will not make assumptions and criticize my familles needs regarding safety.

You're right, anyone with an "invisible disability" (such as acquired brain injury, the one with which I'm most acquainted) is subject to improper judgments by the public at-large who don't know any better. That stinks, but it's a reality that stinks. So if I saw you with your leashes and I did not notice any sort of disability, you're right, I would make assumptions and FEEL critical of your use of it. But would I actually criticize you or even talk to you? Of course not. As I said originally, anyone talking to you about the way you parent UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES is rude. But am I permitted my own personal opinion? Of course! Am I always right? Of course not! Just ask my wife, she'll make a list longer than all of my posts put together. So I might privately misjudge you. SOOO? It's not like you'd ever know about it. There are plenty of people in this world who will judge me because of my race, religion, sexual orientation, and what brand of toothpaste I use. I can't control how they think. As long as they don't act rudely towards me because of their opinions, then why should I care what they think? Why do you feel so threatened about my opinion if my opinion will never affect you in any way, if that opinion is only inside my mind and never on my face or in my spoken words???

You are not judge and jury, you have no right to decide who and who does not need a safety device.

Of course I have no right to decide that. I've never espoused such grandiose ideas. But I have a right to my opinion. I never tried to decide for anyone, I never tried to ban the darn things, I just expressed an opinion. Again, I don't mind hinest criticism, but I can't understand why people misquote me or incorrectly read between the lines. I'm pretty wordy, in case you haven't noticed. And I'm not exactly shy about expressing my opinion, either. There's nothing left unsaid here. At least read what I write before commenting on it, please.

-- Eric

 

[disneymom2one]

My problem with the leashes is that I see way too many people 'yanking" on the leashes when their toddler (or older) refuses to come where they need them to. Here's the thing ... I do that with my dogs on occasion when we walk them. But to my child? I don't think so. We have a ten year old with Asperger's and we never used a leash. I can see uses for them but only as a way to keep children from wandering. They should NEVER (in my opinion) be used to direct a child as a leash sometimes directs a dog. That's not okay in my opinion (anymore than yanking by the arm is by the way).

 

[WIcruizer]

I also see many, many children far older than todlers who are leashed. I still think it's ironic none of this ever applies to he people in here. But sobeit, I believe you. There are unique situations, such as disabilities, where it makes perfect sense. But most of the time it's laziness. Sorry, but that's what I notice constantly whenever I'm at WDW. A 4-6 year old on a leash pulling parents around..parents yanking it back. Getting tangled with others. Teach your children how to behave, or they will go back to the hotel.

 

[C.Ann]

I always find this topic amusing.. Many, many years ago (I'm in my 50's) my mom used a harness for me (I actually have a photo of me in it somewhere).. Guess I was pretty active..

Anyhow, I don't recall ever feeling degraded, dehumanized, leashed, or treated like a dog.. Grew up relatively sane, so I say whatever makes your child safe, go for it..

There are always going to be naysayers - always those who feel their perfect parenting skills will shield their children from any and all harm - always those who think they have it all under control - always those who say "never" and end up doing it themselves..

It's your child - do what YOU feel is best..

 

[all4fun]

Do you ever see parents at wdw with children on those harness'? We have a very active 19 month old, he will ride in the stroller fine for a while but then likes to walk, he likes to run off, so would it be bad to use one of those harnesses and keep him happy or will i get disgusting looks? I just dont want him to be confined to the stroller all day with no exercise for himself. and would love to find a litte spot for him to run without running into the crowds.

thanks, Jill (mom to a wild little boy)

Wow this thread has gone way off the beaten track! But I'm so glad there are people here who I can look up to for their perfect parenting skills!

I think the OP's question has been answered.

In my experience I got mostly very positive responses from people who saw my ds in one. Lots of "wow I wish I had one of those when my kid was little" to "where'd you get that" and a few humorous remarks like "That's what I need for my dh" etc. I didn't see a ton of people using them but here and there I would see a few toddler-age kids around WDW with one on.

Btw there are a few places in WDW that are for the toddler aged set to run around - there's a new Pooh themed area called "Pooh's playful spot" across from the Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh ride. Info & Pics here: http://www.wdwinfo.com/wdwinfo/guides/magickingdom/fan-pooh.htm#ppspot

There's also a play area in Toon Town for the little tots.

 

[iliketoby]

The question is, who do I pay for this hour of psychotherapy?
-- Eric

Me! Pay me! That'll be $350.00 If you want the best, you gotta pay the price!

 

[Rella Bella]

I also see many, many children far older than todlers who are leashed. I still think it's ironic none of this ever applies to he people in here. But sobeit, I believe you. There are unique situations, such as disabilities, where it makes perfect sense. But most of the time it's laziness. Sorry, but that's what I notice constantly whenever I'm at WDW. A 4-6 year old on a leash pulling parents around..parents yanking it back. Getting tangled with others. Teach your children how to behave, or they will go back to the hotel.

Excellent point!! Age does matter!!
Certainly we were no longer needing the harness by age 3, and probably didn't use it much after 2 1/2. And I think that is where CleveRocks may be misunderstanding... at least the point I made. His kids are 5 & 3! We used the harness when our son was less than two... how do you reason with a 1 year old?!?

We didn't just put on the harness and pull him around. We taught him, guided him, consistantly corrected him etc. and by aprox age 2 he began to listen so after a while we didn't need it any more
BUT once you feel the panic of "running-as-fast-as-you-can-through-a-crowded-airport-after-an-18-month-old -who-is-laughing-his-head-off-because-this-is-the-best-game-he's-ever-found -and-he-is-just-far-enough-ahead-that-you-can't-quite-grab-him-for-long-enough -that-you-are-really-starting-to-freak-out"... this is the moment you think. I am not physically capable of keeping my child safe, what can I do??

 

[iliketoby]

Yeah, a kid over 3 can be taught to stay with you. But I never see kids that age with leashes. Maybe I need to look around more!



But I will never forget the Christmas I had two 2-year-olds in the mall and we came upon the Santa display. The stroller was full of all the bags and the kids were walking. (They wanted to walk. This wasn't me being lazy. As long as stroller was empty - duh! that's where the bags go. Plus, it is hard to carry heavy bags and not have empty stroller tip. At least is was with the strollers 15 years ago.) They simultaneously ran in 2 different directions: the train lover ran to the train, and the other saw a real deer and took off running to see that.

The place was crowded and busy and I was scared. Had to run after one, dodging looks at the other. Completely lost sight of child #2. Picked up child #1 who started crying and in search of child #2. Dragged them both (crying) back to the gift-laden stroller to find the gifts had not been stolen (Thank God.)

Worst experience of my life. Kid #2 could have been taken by anyone.

 

[Feralpeg]

I have younger brothers that are twins. When they were about 3 years old, we were walking down a city street in the town where my grandparents lived. It was a small town and my parents were right beside us. We turned a corner and there was a stairwell going down to a basement store. My parents had no idea it would be there. One of my brothers fell down those stairs and was badly hurt. I'll never forget watching my mom taking those steps two at a time trying to catch him before he hit the bottom. After that, my brothers wore the child teathers. I know that it could have been any one of us, but my parents felt that my brother wouldn't have been hurt if they had been able to hold on to him. Should they have been holding their hands? Maybe, but little kids don't always want to hold hands. I have no problem with the child teathers.

 

[BlondeAlligator]

I also see many, many children far older than todlers who are leashed. I still think it's ironic none of this ever applies to he people in here. But sobeit, I believe you. There are unique situations, such as disabilities, where it makes perfect sense. But most of the time it's laziness. Sorry, but that's what I notice constantly whenever I'm at WDW. A 4-6 year old on a leash pulling parents around..parents yanking it back. Getting tangled with others. Teach your children how to behave, or they will go back to the hotel.

1. It's not laziness to want to make sure your child is safe...I think it is the exact opposite.
2. I just got back from WDW and although I did not use a harness on my 3-year-old, I can understand why people do. She was so over-stimulated and excited that she was not always as well-behaved as she is normally at home...sometimes she just got sick of her stroller...holding hands gets old too (try walking around with your hand in the air for 1/2 hour & see how it feels)...I could only carry her so much (I carried her so much the first day that I could not straighten my arm that night!). I was lucky that I had six adults watching out for my little girl, but at WDW even the best parents also get tired, weary & stressed...not to mention the crowds we saw & how easy it would be to lose your child in the blink of any eye especially at night...any tool that helps keep the little ones safe in those crowds is FINE BY ME.
3. In regards to the age issue...my daughter is 3 but because of her height (41") she is often mistaken for a child of 4 or even 5. Things are not always as they seem.

This harness thing is such a huge debate here...I don't think that any parent who is doing their best should be criticized...especially after some of the horrible mistreatment of kids that I unfortunately witnessed at WDW this week (like the dad who smacked his little girl for getting her clothes wet on the new Pooh's playground in the MK...she looked scared and humiliated). There are far worse things going on at WDW than kids on leashes.

 

[WIcruizer]

(like the dad who smacked his little girl for getting her clothes wet on the new Pooh's playground in the MK...she looked scared and humiliated). There are far worse things going on at WDW than kids on leashes.

Now there's something we can all agree on. There have been several times I tried to humiliate the offender by stopping in my tracks and staring right at the person after such a display. I have even said something to other "parents" on two occasions. Just last year, I told someone I would get a CM if he didn't stop hitting his son. There are days- especially at MK where I have to work hard to put some things I see out of my mind.

 

[PatricenPete]

I tried using the tether with DS during our trip, but he HATED it. He screamed non-stop and kept trying to take it off his wrist. I also felt pretty bad about putting it on him to begin with. I felt like I was dragging one my doggies around.

So now we are working on "hold hands" - every time we take him out of his stroller, we say, "Hold hands" and take his little hand. If he tries to break away, we say "hold hands" again and take his hand - if he continues to try break away, he goes back in his stroller. By the end of our WDW trip, he caught on and knew that when he was not in his stroller, he had to hold hands with either me of DH and he is only 1. So it IS possible to teach even the youngest toddler.

 

[Diz-Mommy]

I tried using the tether with DS during our trip, but he HATED it. He screamed non-stop and kept trying to take it off his wrist. I also felt pretty bad about putting it on him to begin with. I felt like I was dragging one my doggies around.

So now we are working on "hold hands" - every time we take him out of his stroller, we say, "Hold hands" and take his little hand. If he tries to break away, we say "hold hands" again and take his hand - if he continues to try break away, he goes back in his stroller. By the end of our WDW trip, he caught on and knew that when he was not in his stroller, he had to hold hands with either me of DH and he is only 1. So it IS possible to teach even the youngest toddler.

Halleluiah! Someone who sees the value of teaching their child! Yes, even a one year old can be taught right from wrong. Good for you Patrice!

 

[samshane]

We used one for my 2yr old DS (he is now over 3) when we would go RVing - it was a lifesaver. I never needed one for DDs as they both never left our side - but he is a whole different creature! LOL! He has so much energy and would go everywhere.

One he hit 3 he was fine and he wanted to stay with us so we no longer use it - but I wouldn't look twice at someone using one, it helped us out a lot. And saved him from being hurt.

 

[NotUrsula]

Leeches, anyone?

Ask a microsurgeon. We don't use leeches for the same medical purpose we used them for 3 centuries ago, but now that we know more about the body works, lo and behold, we find that the darn things STILL are medically useful. Leeches are one of the very few reliable ways to fully restore blood flow to a reattached limb. I know several people who are very grateful that leeches are still used in medicine.

The thing is, small children still elude their parents' grip in the same way and for the same reasons that they did hundreds of years ago. The reason that leading strings and walking reins were invented still exists. They are not as necessary as they once were, thanks to the invention of things like the kitchen range (with insulation, even, so that touching the side of it doesn't result in a 3rd degree burn), but the basic reason for their existence remains unchanged: some children will bolt in dangerous situations, and using a physical means of restraining them is sometimes necessary and prudent. Sometimes even able-bodied parents can lose the ability to hold onto them, even with the best will in the world. I'd have you ask my mother about that: 60 yrs. ago she fell, broke her leg and knocked herself unconscious while walking with a toddler and pushing a stroller (she was on her way to the grocery store). She was about to cross a very busy city street when it happened, and my eldest sister probably owes her life to the fact that she was wearing reins that day.

 

[GEM]

Halleluiah! Someone who sees the value of teaching their child! Yes, even a one year old can be taught right from wrong. Good for you Patrice!

Oh good grief.

 

[Mersmom98]

People, people....Why does everyone feel like what they do is the right thing? I think it's because whatever you do IS the right thing for your family and not necessarily for another family. Some breastfeed, some don't; some use harnesses, some don't...Do any of you gawk and make comments about mothers that have a bottle in their child's mouth? I find it so funny that we always feel like we have to justify how we have chosen to raise our children. It's obvious that everyone on these boards love their children. I just hate that some parents are so judgmental of other parents. Can't we all just agree to disagree on this subject? BTW, yes, I used a harness on my dd when she was almost 2 and she is almost 8 and not at all scarred by that decision. Busy shopping mall at Christmas, single mother shopping by herself, one trusty harness to keep her safely close to my side.....PRICELESS!!!

 

[maxiesmom]

Let me say that I have never been thrilled with the whole leash thing. But for those of you who made dog comparisons--when my brother in law was little his parents used to tie him to a tree in the front yard with rope. And he is one of the best, kindest, most well-adjusted people I know! So I don't think a small child will be scarred for life by wearing a harness. I just always seem to not see the cord and end up tripping on the darn things!