Toddler "leash"

[Tigger&Belle]

I thought about this post when we were out to eat today at Baja Fresh. A toddler was there with a lady that was probably his grandma and he was crawling on the floor--crawling under one of the yellow "Wet Floor" signs. No, he didn't have a leash on.

Hopefully the washed his hands before he ate.


Tiggernut_jadie, I agree with you on the anti-bacterial wipes and gel. I rarely use that and when I want a cleansing wipe when I'm not near soap and water I use Purell since it's alcohol based and will kill the germs without our bodies building up a resistance to them.

T&B

 

[newtowdw1]

To the op, and others of the positive leash camp:

I never had a problem with the leash. As a toddler who never walked, but ran everywhere, my mother wished she had had one! Now, I bought a harness for DD. She never used it as she chattered constantly to us, and so never wanted to be out of earshot! I can honestly say that with DD alone I was never distracted.

When DS was born, lo and behold, I was a distracted mother. Imagine

DD4 took advantage (imagine!) and wandered off. When she was found in the next aisle at ToysRUs, I was totally flipped. Mind, this took all of 30 seconds. Totally understandable situation. My fault, DD's fault. Won't happen again. So, WalMart. Christmas shopping. Again, found her within 30 seconds, but this time went to the agreed upon punishment. She was leashed until her 4th birthday. Which was about a month away. I leashed her to the cart. Many many mothers of multiples looked longingly at it. Many many grandparents told me stories about their stubborn children who wouldn't use them, and how the grandparents are waiting for disaster.

I don't use it now. If DS goes through a wandering stage and will not stop, I'll have it back out in a heart beat. Wandering is nothing to mess with.

AND!! I tried it on DS once. He sat down, as previously mentioned. He's stubborn and doesn't like to hold hands, but would prefer that to a leash!

It all boils down to, do what works. It is one strategy among many. It is your child. It will be your conscience, no matter what. Which option can you live with? Toys R Us and Walmart are huge places with no clear traffic patten. I couldn't live with myself it there was something simple I could do to protect my children from the fear of either 1) being lost, or 2) being abducted.

 

[princess-rn]

Originally posted by MATTERHORN
Princess rn - ... If you take my posts and opinions to mean that you are a horrible parent, then that is your insecurity about the leash. If you are a great parent, and you know that you are using the leash for your good reasons, then why does everyone get so defensive.

The fact that people say they would never use it anywhere else I find funny. Are you not worried about people taking your kids anywhere but Disney? Are you not worried about your kids wandering away and being active or hyper when not at Disney? Do your kids never get excited or overstimulated any other place you visit? Just curious!

I know that my husband and I are good parents. I have NO doubt about that. You do imply though that anyone who uses the restraint is a terrible parent. Yes..I made fun of people who used them..but I was also a teenager and di dn't have any children. NOw I see what can happen. I am a pediatric nurse and almost everyday I hear the story .."if only I had..." when someone's child has been killed or seriously injured. I NEVER want to have to say that. That's why I'm trying to do everything I can to keep him safe. I don't appreciate people like you making judgements on someone you never knew. I don't know if I will use the leash or not. I am going to take it as it comes..but if it means my child will be safe..then I will use it and I DON'T CARE what anyone thinks. And NO I'm not ONLY afraid of losing my child at Disney. It's just like I said before..my son has NEVER been anywhere like that that is so crowded and exciting. We have NOTHING like that here. When we go to the mall or the zoo..he's constantly running around without a leash..and I keep up with him fine. Those areas here AREN'T crowded...but disney is different. Just try to understand and stop being so judgemental!!!

 

[princess-rn]

Originally posted by BevS97
princess-rn,

You had no way of knowing, but you just happened to ask a questoin on the hottest topic on the families board. On other boards it's refillable mugs, or 5 in a room, or god forbid you mention pool hopping. On here it's leashes. I have never understood why.

Hope you have got enough sensible info to make your decision (either way) and can ignore any comments about eating out of dog bowls.

Thank you very much. That is what I plan to do. I'm really sorry I ever posted this question. I just wanted to know what others thought and used as a means or a restraining device. I really don't want to use it...but as I said before..I have one and will use it if I need to. My family is more important to me than any amount of crazy looks or mentions of dog bowls...

 

[eeyore kelly]

I used a Harness leash on DS from 14months-almost 3. No ill effects. He LIKED the leash because it gave him more freedom than holding a hand. DD was much more quiet and sedate. Never had to look for her, she was holding my hand or on DH's hip or in her stroller. It depends on the child. Ds is 11 now and has no ill effects from his harness years. DD is almost 9 and has no ill effects from not being harnessed.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Princess-rn, you did nothing wrong by posting this question! I had no idea that this was such a hot topic and you were not trying to start a debate. I really wish that they still had the debate board. Then people who wanted to debate the whole thing could do it there and people who wanted a sane discussion could do that here. Don't have that option now, though.

You do what you are comfortable with and know that you are doing the right thing for you and your son.

T&B

 

[Lollipop Mom]

Princess-m, I agree, don't feel bad! And don't take anything said here personally. Go back and count. The vast majority of posters said that either they had used them/will use them or that they haven't but they don't view it as doing something you should be ashamed of. You asked for opinions, not judgements. I said before, an opinion is "I personally wouldn't use one because ________" and THAT IS IT! No implications about you not paying attention to your child, nothing about treating your child as an animal etc.

Are you not worried about people taking your kids anywhere but Disney?

OK, please hear me on this....IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT SOMEONE TAKING YOUR CHILD! There are other safety issues at hand. Heck, safety aside, I'd like to spare myself and my child the panic I know we'd both feel if he wandered off and realized he was seperated from me. He's far more likely to be injured b/c he was wandering off and someone rushing to their next PS or FastPass wasn't looking DOWN and didn't see a 3 foot tall kid by himself so they plow right over him. I want to avoid him wandering off then stooping down to look at some ants and getting his fingers smooshed by a stroller. I want to avoid coming home and reading on the DIS board someone saying "you will never believe what I saw...there was this toddler who was ________ and his parents were no where in site!"

Andrea, you may not mean to but your posts are coming across as condescending and VERY judgemental of people who make different parenting decisions than you do. Different is not always wrong. Our childeren are all different and require different parenting techniques. Your children may not be the wandering type so you see no need for it but trust some of us here, once you find yourself the mother of a "bolter" your opinions on things change. You see things from the other side of the fence and surprisingly, all those Moms you thought were so wrong...you realize they had good reason for doing what they did. Look back at your own growing up. I bet there are things your Mother did that you said "I'll never do that to my kids" but once you are blessed with a child and feel firsthand the concern for their well being that only a mother can know, you realize that you will do it too and not feel the slightest bit guilty knowing that your child is sitting there thinking "NEVER!"

 

[princess-rn]

Lollipop Mom and TIggerandbelle....

Thank you both very much for you kind word of encouragement. I appreciate it. I agree with both of you totally!!

Have a great trip!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

My son was such a wanderer that I JOKED that I should put the dog's electronic collar on him when he was outside. Actually, bolter is a better way to describe him. There was one time that I was out front with him, turned to answer a quick homework question from one of my kids, and Jake was gone. He was on the neighbor's porch that time. Another time he'd taken off into the back and was a couple of houses away, gaining speed. He was very difficult outside and, when he did these stunts I would bring him inside, so he didn't "get away" with anything. It got so bad that we didn't go out much for awhile. We didn't have a fence in the backyard, but should have broken down and gotten one, but of course that wouldn't have helped in the front yard where we spent lots of time. I'm so glad that stage is over!

He's still a difficult child, but at least can be reasoned somewhat with at 4 1/2yo. He's now actually easy to have at WDW because he loves to be pushed around in his stroller--he likes to see me sweat and get a good workout...

T&B

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

I just want to put my 2Cents in here because several years ago, I swore I'd never put a child on a leash. Then I had children of my own!!! My son was a total bolter, turbo tot, child right from the get go!! My daughter wasn't as bad, but very, very active. People who don't have turbo tots don't understand what we go through. You NEED to do what YOU feel is best to keep your child SAFE!! That is the issue and just don't worry about what anyone else thinks. I'd much rather return with my child safe, than have him get lost and have something horrible happen. If a leash will facilitate that, then do it and do it knowing that you are doing the right thing.

I never used leashes anywhere but Disney because let's face it, at home, I've seen the mall, stores, parks etc. There's not much to look at in those places that I haven't seen a zillion times already. When we get to Disney it's a new place and there are many, many distractors going on all around us that cause even the most devoted parents to look away from their children for a brief moment and that is all it takes for them to run off (for mine anyway). And not just looking at all the pretty things at Disney, but even looking at a map to find something can be challenging while trying to keep your eye on an active child.

My children are both still really active, but it has been a blessing because I've learned tolerance and as someone else here said (I'm sorry I forgot who). "Just because it's different, doesn't mean it's wrong." Do what you need to and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. You know your child better than anyone. When people accuse me of being over protective I just smile & say, "Better Safe than Sorry!!!" Best wishes for a fun, SAFE trip!!!

 

[all4fun]

ITA! Thank you...

 

[MosMom]

Okay I know this has turned into a flaming debate BUT I just need to add a story to lighten the mood ...

We bought one of these for my daughter when she was about 2 1/2. We were walking back to the Beach Club from Epcot at closing so there were PLENTY of people with us walking. Mo managed to wiggle out of her end of the tether, turned around to the crowd, threw her arms up in the air, and yelled TAA-DAAAA!!! She got quite a response for pulling that little "magic trick"!

If you buy a wrist to wrist, your little one will probably figure out how to escape. Go with the harness kind and it will probably work better.

 

[eeyore kelly]

Mo managed to wiggle out of her end of the tether, turned around to the crowd, threw her arms up in the air, and yelled TAA-DAAAA!!!

 

[Lollipop Mom]

My children are both still really active, but it has been a blessing because I've learned tolerance

I TOTALLY understand that! I've always been a very patient person (total opposite of both my parents, they both comment on that all the time). I was telling someone the other day that I firmly believe that God gave me patience....then He gave me Connor to test it!

Mo managed to wiggle out of her end of the tether, turned around to the crowd, threw her arms up in the air, and yelled TAA-DAAAA!!!

too cute!

 

[MATTERHORN]

Well since only leash lovers can post here without getting attacked, I will bow out, you can have your party now, the evil witch that won't treat her child like an animal is gone! I did find it funny that you all praise the reasons for using the leashes, yet someone comes on here and tells you that her Daughter got out of hers fairly easily, and you think it's cute and funny!! Obviously not a lot of people who don't agree haven't posted because they will get the lashing I have, so it seems very one sided. It was pretty much stated that this was not a "sane" discussion anymore. Give me a break, please. For all of you that are so non-judgemental, take a look back at your own posts! If you just came here to give your opinion and that's it, then leave my post alone, it was meant for the OP. She could have just ignored it had it not been for everyone jumping all over me telling me I was wrong. You say that I made it out to sound like you are all bad parents, well then I could very easily say that you are implying that I don't care if my child gets lost or stolen if I don't tie them up. So basically you are making the same judgements if we go by your train of thought. Hope you all have a great day and a safe trip.



Andrea


p.s. You'll probably notice me if you ever see me at DW, apparently I'll be the only one not using a leash, I'm leaving the dog in a kennel during our trip!

 

[Lollipop Mom]

Andrea, I don't think anyone here is attacking you personally or implying in any way that you are a bad parent or that you are putting your children at risk for kidnapping. The only thing anyone is saying is that you have come across as being very judgemental and condescending. I said before you may not mean to sound that way it may come across totally different in person but we aren't in person. You are not the only person who has said they won't use them. There are others here that have said they disagree with using them. The difference is that they have said they wouldn't use them (for various reason) but that if others feel justified in it, that's fine for them. They didn't suggest that we leave our children at home if we felt the need to consider a leash, they didn't imply that we were treating our children like dogs and suggest that it is "the same" as feeding them from a dog bowl on the floor of the Crystal Palace. THAT is why your posts have been quoted and not theirs. It's not the fact that you won't use a leash on your child. (that was in reference to your post on 9/2 where you said:

Also just curious, if I came on here to say that I thought my child might get sick from touching all the things that others touch at the world, like tables and chairs, would you all feel it appropriate to see me next to you at Crystal Palace feeding my child off the floor from a dog dish so they didn't use the dishes millions of others use? Same thing as using a leash, I am looking out for the child's well being. There has to be a line and treating children like dogs is one of them I won't cross!! And if someone says" Then you shouldn't take them there, I agree. If you can't get by without a dog dish or a leash, you shouldn't go!

)

There are lots of issue I have an "I wouldn't but if you want to, go right ahead" feeling about. Lots of choice I personally wouldn't make but I don't judge those who do make them.

I could very easily say that you are implying that I don't care if my child gets lost or stolen if I don't tie them up.

I reread the entire thread and in 6½ pages I found only one statement that could POSSIBLY be interpreted as implying that you don't care if you child is lost or kidnapped (though NO ONE else has likened using a safety harness to tying a child up). With that one comment, there were even people who had said they have used a harness with their child who said the comment was a bit harsh.

I think all anyone is trying to say is that we appreciate your opinon of saying that you don't agree with them. We just didn't appreciate the other statements. No one's comments were directed at your OPINION (your opinion being "I wouldn't use them because I don't think it's natural to put a leash on a child.") but rather at the comparison to feeding a child out of a dog bowl etc.

As for MosMom's story, I can only speak for myself but what I was saying was "too cute" was that her daughter would turn to others and say "taaa dahh!" about it, not that she took the harness off. Obviously her mother was using it as a "second line of defense" and was watching her so she was still safe.

Just like I don't think anyone who choses to use a harness, be it just for waiting in lines or for every step they take in the parks, should take comments here personally, I don't think you should take anyones responses personally. Life's too short to get bent out of shape over it. I feel about the use of a leash the way I did about nursing my son in public places. When I got the rare comment from a person about being offended that I would DISCREETLY nurse in a public place my response was "I'd rather offend you than upset my child by not feeding him." on the leash it's "I'd rather offend you and have peace of mind than please you and fight with my child to make him stay with me in lines."

I too hope you have a safe and enjoyable trip. I see you are still relatively new on the DIS boards. Don't let this thread turn you off to the boards. The people on here are, as a whole, a great group with lots of great advice. This is just one of many issues where we don't all agree.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Originally posted by Lollipop Mom
Princess-m, I agree, don't feel bad! And don't take anything said here personally. Go back and count. The vast majority of posters said that either they had used them/will use them or that they haven't but they don't view it as doing something you should be ashamed of. You asked for opinions, not judgements. I said before, an opinion is "I personally wouldn't use one because ________" and THAT IS IT! No implications about you not paying attention to your child, nothing about treating your child as an animal etc.

I have to agree with Andrea.

These type of threads always have a respond if you agree feel to them.
It's ok to give an opinion AND explain why you feel the way you do if you agree with the OP.(general)
If you don't agree you should just give your opinion and move on.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Well said, Lollipop Mom! Of course Andrea isn't going to be back on this thread, according to her.

If you are reading, Andrea, you might want to start a thread about the problems with leaving your dogs in kennels--there have been some awful stories in the media about that!

As to MosMom's story, it was really no different that when my 4yo wasn't paying attention the other day on a kitchen chair and fell off. He quickly stood up, threw his hands in the air and said "taaa- daaaa!" Just young kids acting silly and, in our case, showing off for his sister's boyfriend. And she implied that Mo had wiggled out of one of the wrist holds, not a halter, when she mentioned that a person should probably go with a halter kind.

People who are going to use the halter need to use common sense, too, and not let a child wander too far away from the parent when using the halter or it is a tripping hazard to others.

By the way, my son is in preschool 3 afternoons a week and they assign different animal names to the children in the various classes. You'll never guess which class he's in....yep, the PUPPIES!

T&B

 

[DWhittles]

If you are reading, Andrea, you might want to start a thread about the problems with leaving your dogs in kennels--there have been some awful stories in the media about that!
___________________________________________________
I'm lurking on this thread as I have an 8 month old son. I know my time will come to make this really controversial decision and it's really interesting for me to see what a hot button this topic is between parents.
Back when I had horses, I had an expression I loved. "Not my horse, not my problem" meaning, I'm NEVER going to tell you how to handle your pony if you don't tell me how to handle mine. As a new mom, I've discovered that if you put 10 moms in a room, you are going to come out with 25 different parenting styles.
You have to do what feels right to YOU and realize that the only person you are accountable to is yourself at the end of the day.
(hopping off my soapbox)

As for the above quote...you've touched on a subject I worry about all the time. We have a Basset Hound who is my other son. I love him more than I love my husband. (My husband knows his order in the food chain around here)
I can't tell you how many nightmare kennels I've been through before I found one in New Jersey and one in NYC I'd trust with Humphrey.
I have stories up the wazoo if we want to start a new thread about doggies and leaving them to go on vacation...
Diana

 

[BevS97]

p.s. You'll probably notice me if you ever see me at DW, apparently I'll be the only one not using a leash, I'm leaving the dog in a kennel during our trip!

I don't care if you use a leash or not - but I do object to the tone of your posts