Toddler Harness-To leash or not to leash

[srferson]

Pluto saw the leash and proceeded to "walk" our son around both levels of the restaurant. We got a lot of laughs from the other guests about the dog walking the child! Pluto is still DS's favorite character!!

That's awesome.

Do whatever makes you feel comfortable and makes the most sense for the safety of YOUR child.....when I was childless, I swore that I would never use a harness on a child, and my DD8 never needed one...she listened and did what I asked....once I had DS, all of that went out the window.

I don't have any kids, but man, I tell you, if I had one I'd use a harness or something if I needed to. Those little buggers can disappear into the crowd in a heartbeat.

 

[2Pirates2Princesses]

Those people who give you "the look" for "leashing" your child will give you an even MORE judgemental look when you are shouting for a child who has wandered off or dared to walk into their path...
Ignore the looks and trust your gut.

A hint that worked with my oldest (who remains a runner at age 8) when she was little... put the harness on, then thread the seatbelt of the stroller through the harness straps. It basically changes the 1-point seatbelt into a five-point seatbelt and really slows them down if they try to bolt... in my Bella's case, she fussed with it for a few minutes, conceded defeat, and from then on we were in the clear (in her case it was in a red wagon that had seatbelts and she would jump out as I was pulling it along behind me... but the seatbelts were the standard type and a stroller would be the same way, except you'll have a better view of your little houdini trying to escape.

Have a safe and happy trip!

I agree. You know your child best and you do what works best for your child and family. We did not use a harness/leash on our last WDW trip because for one reason or another we didn't get around to purchasing one; but I certainly considered it because right before our trip our youngest DS (who was 2.5 years old at the time) started going through the phase of refusing to even sit in a stroller. Fortunately, about two days into our trip he started happily getting into the stroller and would even strap himself in. I suppose a little taste of all the walking required in that summer heat gave him a change of heart One thing I did want to mention is that it is easy for children to get separated from their parents/family in the thick crowds at WDW (especially during parades, when exiting shows, after fireworks, etc.) even if a child is compliant with instructions to stay next to their parent/guardian and not wander or dart off. So safety and peace of mind definitely trumps what other people think IMO. Have a magical trip

 

[OhanaBreadPudding]

I haven't finished reading all of the responses, but I wanted to say that I used to think it was a little much to have a child on a "leash" (I did a CP at WDW, so I saw them a lot)

Oh, and then I had a child!! He has only been walking for 4 months and I have already bought one for our trip 5 months away!

I've learned that when it comes to children, the only people who have something negative to say are the ones who just don't get it.

If I see you, I'll give you a fist bump and we can walk our children stress-free through the parks!

 

[disneymomjcs]

rofl
This is a funny thread. I have a ds28 and dd15 what I've learned over the years.

People who don't have children don't have a clue! They also know everything that is until they have a child.

Every parent and every child is different. Smart parents know different things work for different kids in your family.

Do what you need to keep your child SAFE! For some kids its the stroller or walking. For some kids its the harness or leash.

Accepting other people who are different is totally acceptable why aren't different parenting styles acceptable?

Hey I don't complain when I see people walking their dogs in strollers! They like it and it works for them. Heck they call their dogs and cats their kids.

Bottom line we love our kids and want to keep them safe. Do what it takes ignore those perfect parents and people who don't have kids yet!!!!!!

 

[ccgirl]

You can't, not with twins. Sure, take them for a walk in the neighborhood, and when one darts into the street and gets hit by a car, you better believe he will have learned his lesson. Or when the other runs up to a house, just grab the remaining one, and bolt after him - it's wonderful exercise. What is really fun is when they run in opposite directions - now is the time you have to pick your favorite!

We lost our runner many times - pretty much whenever he wasn't confined to a stroller or leashed. Always got him back, though. However, in dark and crowded situations, we found it easier to put on a harness than search for hours later on. I also had a child who was a mommy magnet, and never left my side. The other 3 were somewhere in the middle, but at least they weren't runners.

He did learn by preschool. It would've been nice if we could've explained to him, around the age of 1 1/2 or so, that we would like for him to walk along side of, and not take off. However, for some reason, those conversations went right over his head. He also LOVED his harness (his twin did, too).

Personally, I think strollers are way more confining for young children, like little wheelchairs. I liked to let mine out enough that, they were not always content to just be pushed around, sucking down golfish and cherrios like some other toddlers.

Wait, you mean to tell me that all children are different? That is just crazy talk!

Or maybe, you just contain that active toddler in a stroller, to the point where, at the age of 7 or so, he's being pushed around WDW like an itty bitty baby, because he was never taught to walk like a big boy...

Talk about being cringe-worthy. Heck, at least the 2 year old doesn't know he's being stared at a judged.

Was thinking the same thing. I bet some of those posters that judge other parents for treating their child "like a dog" are the same ones who can't contain their child's whining so pushes them in a stroller way past the age for one. Or, let their child go in the bathroom designed for the opposite gender when he/she is quite capable of taking care of himself/herself.

If what you are doing with *your* child does not affect my child in any way; I could give two hoots what you do. I will not feel bad for your child. I will feel happy that their parent loved them enough to do what they thought was best.

 

[luvhubandbabys]

Kids are not dogs blah blah blah. forget what this perfect mommies think. THEY DONT MATTER.

Id rather have an alive safe toddler than the approval of some judgemental shrew. It takes just seconds for some sick person to snatch your child. Then thats it, its over. Odds are you wouldnt see your baby again not a risk Im willing to take.

I used it once when my toddler was 16 mos and I had a newborn at the zoo. It was busy there was lots of ppl. Plain and simple you never know when there is a sicko nearby. In disney if I had a 1-2 yr old child bet I would bring my monkey backpack.

Surprisingly that 16 mo old is now 3 and it didnt hinder her development by using a backpack in a few isolated incidents. She is older now and can understand why I am telling her to stay by me. 1 yr olds comprehension is not always the greatest. Its a learning curve. Kids grow up. Bet I would use it again to keep my baby safe.


Seriously use it if you feel it will help.. Dont worry what these nosey ppl think. Tell them to mind their own kids and get over it.

 

[srferson]

rofl
This is a funny thread. I have a ds28 and dd15 what I've learned over the years.

People who don't have children don't have a clue! They also know everything that is until they have a child.

Every parent and every child is different. Smart parents know different things work for different kids in your family.

Do what you need to keep your child SAFE! For some kids its the stroller or walking. For some kids its the harness or leash.

Accepting other people who are different is totally acceptable why aren't different parenting styles acceptable?

Hey I don't complain when I see people walking their dogs in strollers! They like it and it works for them. Heck they call their dogs and cats their kids.

Bottom line we love our kids and want to keep them safe. Do what it takes ignore those perfect parents and people who don't have kids yet!!!!!!

Ok. I understand why you say this. But I hate generalizations and this is one that drives me crazy.

I have to point out that I've said multiple times in multiple ways that I do not have children, but fully support using a harness or doing whatever you need to do to keep your child safe. And yet we've seen multiple "perfect" parents in this thread cutting other parents down. So please don't say I don't have a clue. I won't pretend to know first hand what it is to be a parent. But clearly I have more of a clue than some other people who are parents.

I don't generalize about parents or children. I know everyone is different. Please don't generalize about me.

 

[purpledisneyprncess]

I don't see an issue with the harness/leashes. If a parent wants to use them, obviously they are thinking about the welfare & safety of their children- they are not treated "Like a Dog"...they are treated like a child who might run away and it's so crazy packed in Disney that it is a possibility to lose a child. With that said, I will keep my kids in the stroller except for when we are on rides/in a show. So we will not need one, but I would never judge a parent.. people honestly have nothing better to do!

 

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

One of my boys is a runner. I use the monkey backpack harness a lot with him and sometimes with his brother is he's not listening. They are my children and my job as a mother is to protect them. If it means using a leash or harness then this is what I will do. I could care less what others say or how they look at me. They are free to judge away but at the end of the day, my children are safe and happy that they didn't have to stay confined to their stroller the whole day.

We have been to WDW 4 times within the past year and used these every time. I haven't received any looks that I know of and the only comments I have heard have been positive. Lots of people use these at WDW for their children. Were I to receive a negative look I am perfectly capable of giving them one in return and can come up with plenty of comments back to those judgmental folks should they feel the need to say something. This is your child and do not allow any person to make you feel bad for your decision to protect your child.

^^ Yes!

My son was five the first time we went to WDW so we had the wandering issue pretty much dealt with.. but we took him to a large zoo the weekend he turned 2. We had the stroller, but knew he would want to be out and about and up close.. so we had a harness leash. I got a couple of weird looks, but more positive ones...

He was able to walk right up to the exhibits and see everything, I knew he wasn't going to get lost when all the other kids crowded up around him. I don't think he even knew he had it on, it's not like we were pulling him around by it. I say go for it. You're always going to have judgy people... I say safety first. You wouldn't ever regret NOT losing your child.

 

[TxDisFanatic]

I personally don't use one. I feel they delay the parent and child from establishing appropriate behaviors with each other in crowds. If I kept leashing my child instead of talking with him/her about not running off, and be firm in punishment if they do, it will take longer for them to learn. I have no problem seeing parents using the leash as long as they are not replacing watching their child diligently for the convenience of just knowing they are there. At the end of the day do what is best for you and your family. I have had people stop, and actually yell at me for holding my son down during a meltdown. If I didn't hold him, and try to calm him down he is a danger to himself, and others. I just ignore them, I have enough to worry about without adding someone else's issues.

 

[LilyWDW]

I also think that Disney is a completely different situation then most. A child can be fine day in and day out with not wandering off. However, it doesn't take much to get separated in the crowds at Disney. With so much going on and so many people, it is really easy to get separated and lost... even for adults! All it could take is looking away for a couple of seconds.

 

[kohlby]

One of my kids was a sprinter so I bought a harness to use at the airport. I was travelling without my hubby and was pg and my first was a very spirited toddler. It worked very well. I still held his hand, but there was a plan B in place that way if he dropped my hand.

That same child went to Disney for the first time right after his 3rd b-day. He was still a sprinter, just faster than before. I had a 2 month old in the sling and hubby doesn't seem to notice kids running off as fast. So I had him wear the harness the first day. He did very well with it. So the second day, I told him he wouldn't have to wear it as long as he stayed with us. I showed him that I had the harness with me. That was enough to get him to stay with us! So we used the harness for the rest of the trip as a threat and it worked like a charm!

As for looks, you do what keeps your child safe. My second child did not need a harness and has never worn one. My third child has, but by then, my oldest was 6 and actually helped out as an extra pair of hands/legs. The third child did fine at Disney, he likes to bolt at places like the grocery store instead. I've attached a harness to a child maybe 5 times total with all three kids considered. It's been used at busy airports. It's been used at Disney- and then just used as a threat mostly. It was worth it's money for that! You do what you need to do. It's not as simple as teaching your child to stay with you for some kids who have trouble with impulse control.

 

[CandleontheWater]

My son has worn his Pluto backpack/leash all over WDW and around Washington DC and I have never received anything but positive comments. Maybe all they need to do is see my child in action and they understand why he needs it, but I think that kid leashes are becoming more mainstream and accepted.

I honestly was a little worried about getting dirty looks, but instead I've had people try and buy it off of me!

Leash in good health!

 

[Camshell]

I personally don't use one. I feel they delay the parent and child from establishing appropriate behaviors with each other in crowds. If I kept leashing my child instead of talking with him/her about not running off, and be firm in punishment if they do, it will take longer for them to learn. I have no problem seeing parents using the leash as long as they are not replacing watching their child diligently for the convenience of just knowing they are there. At the end of the day do what is best for you and your family. I have had people stop, and actually yell at me for holding my son down during a meltdown. If I didn't hold him, and try to calm him down he is a danger to himself, and others. I just ignore them, I have enough to worry about without adding someone else's issues.

I have another take on this. The leash in many cases can actually be a tool to teach appropriate boundries. "Talking too" and "punishment" isn't always the most effective teaching strategy for small children. They are "concrete" learners. You can teach a small child about "personal space" by using a hula hoop around them and others so they get what personal space means. You can teach a small child about a safe distance to stay within with their parent by using a leash. Over repeated outings a child learns what "staying close" to mommy or daddy means as they learn how far the leash actually lets them roam.

All children and families are unique and parents should have the freedom to do what they think is safest for their own children in regard to traversing the crowds at Disney without judgement from others.

 

[Wiloughby1]

Many "superior parents" like to chalk up their child's behavior to "superior parenting." As in "my child behaves better because I am a better parent than you," when in fact that TYPICALLY not the case.

Maybe a child doesn't wander because s/he is terrified of the parental consequences (not good)
Maybe the child is terrified in general, always afraid to do anything alone (not good)
Maybe the child lacks curiosity (really not good)
Or maybe the child is just very cooperative by nature (lucky lucky parents)

Characteristics that make kids wander are actually good characteristics as adults- independence, confidence, curiosity. We as parents need to find the safe boundaries for these.

I was convinced that I was a failure as a parent with my son. He refuses most food, gets stressed out and has terrible public meltdowns, got lost in food court at POFQ (for <2mins). my daughter is a dream. She will do ANYTHING I ask her to do eat anything, is trying to read at two. I raised both kids. DS was finally tested and has sensory processing problems and got ceiling scores on several subsets of the WISC. He has fantastic qualities. I never put him on a harness, but I NEVER judge another mom for her choice to do it. Watching my kids separately, you would think they were from two different planets, forget parents. It wasn't what I did- it's who they are!

So lucky parents with mild mannered kids- controlling mommies with sweating kids in strollers all day to contain them rather than letting them walk happily on a leash, whatever. Kids are resilient, and a day spent walking around THE WORLD pursuing their own interests safely? GOOD PARENTING in my book!

 

[leica06]

I will be buying those leashes for my DD2 and possibly DS4 before our trip in June. We spend the weekend at the beach and neither wanted to stay in the stroller, but they didn't want to walk in the same direction, either!

I understand my children, and I want them to have some freedom to walk and explore, and not be confined to a stroller. Disney is full of sensory overload - the people, the characters, the rides...(DS is a runner, too.) I would rather keep my children safe and enjoy my vacation than worry about what someone thinks of my parenting.

 

[Just*the*ten*of*us]

I'm glad I read this thread...I have 8 kids, and never used a leash. Never needed one...lucky I guess. Never really had an opinion one way or another about them, but after reading this I might just get one. Not because I feel like my youngest needs to be contained, but more because I think it would actually be nicer for him to be able to walk around for himself rather than be cooped up in the stroller. I dont understand how someone can think putting a monkey backpack thing on a child is bad, but strapping them into a stroller isnt. It's basically the same thing, is it not? Youre containing your child so they are not all over the place...makes total sense to me.

 

[anetty]

I'm not a parent, but I have to say that I think that these are a great idea. It's a way for a child to still walk around, but you don't have to constantly have to hold onto their hand.

And on a side note, I am a HUGE Modern Family fan and on tonight's episode they were at Disneyland and they had their little girl Lilly on a harness leash.

 

[smitch425]

I find it interesting that as soon as someone on this thread says they don't believe in the use of a leash, they are immediately accused of thinking of themselves as "perfect parents" that need to enlighten leash users. I haven't read ONE post that said anything about leash users being terrible parents, so what is with the attitude???

I could give a flying flip if you want to put a leash on your kid, but you better believe you will get an earful from me if your kid is no longer being watched because they are leashed, and they trip my kid. It happened more than once on our last trip. Just because they are leashed doesn't mean you can take your eyes off of them. Nothing like a sweaty stranger's kid wrapping themselves around your legs in a crowd. It is disgusting and awkward to have some sweaty, strange man trying to untangle their kid from your body, who continues to not stand still like their father repeatedly asked them to.

I have been tangled up at least once on 3 of our last 5 trips. So please, if you use them, fine, but please continue to watch where your child is going. Keep the length short because if you don't, people can get hurt.

And seriously, there is no reason for all of the "perfect parent" nonsense and rudeness in this thread. Just because someone has a kid that doesn't require a leash or that will sit contently in a stroller all day, does not mean they think they are the perfect parent.

 

[srferson]

I haven't read ONE post that said anything about leash users being terrible parents, so what is with the attitude???

And seriously, there is no reason for all of the "perfect parent" nonsense and rudeness in this thread. Just because someone has a kid that doesn't require a leash or that will sit contently in a stroller all day, does not mean they think they are the perfect parent.

There have been a couple posters here who say that parents who use leashes/harnesses are treating their kids like dogs and the problem is that the parents are too lazy to teach their kids or they're not doing it "right."

There seems to be no acknowledgement from these posters that different personalities, different ages, or different situations play a role here. Instead the message is 'I didn't have to use a leash because I taught my kid the right way. If you have to use a leash, then you must be doing it wrong.'

A poster does not specifically need to use the word "terrible" in order to imply that the need for a leash/harness must be caused by a failure in parenting.