Toddler from you know where!

[Gretchen]

I think the best advice I could get would be to just give up and wait till he's older...but....my dd is 8 and the perfect age to go to WDW. I'd like to go again, soon, who wouldn't! So would she. But ds is a total disaster to take places. He screamed for 20 minutes (the cashier timed him, do you believe it?) in Kohls today. (department store) He wanted to go outside, not sit in the shopping cart. Won't sit in a carriage, won't hold your hand, won't sleep. Kid is a trial, cute and I love him, but man I wanna go on vacation! Anyone out there have a terrible two and what have you done? We had to get a condo last time, one bedroom for him, one room (living room) for DD and a room for us. No one can share a room with this little guy.

Any ideas? Or, am I just going to go vacationless for a couple of years? Gaaaaaa!
Thanks,
Gretchen

 

[robinb]

Gretchen {{hugs}}. I know how it is to have a difficult child. Does he always act out, or just when tired/hungry? With both parents or just one?

As you know, WDW will overload a sensitive child. The excitement, the colors, the music, etc are all too much. Sometimes you need to be a bit more sensitive too. I would recommend that you try to stay onsite so one parent can go home with him easily when he reaches his limit (or just before!)and the other parent can stay with your DD. I would also recommend one of the kid leashes. I didn't use one, but to me a child who won't hold hands and won't sit in the stroller is a prime candidate for one.

Good luck!

 

[kelscross]

One of my girls is not a public kind of gal. As a matter of fact I usually have to get a sitter just to go to the grocery store because it is terrible for the whole store. One time I didn't have a sitter and I took her, well the customer service manager had to come out and offer to take my children to the desk and let them draw/color so that I could finish checking out. Nice offer but embarrassing.

When we went to WDW last year I was really nervous about taking her. She was a bear at times. She only had one real, real good melt down and that was at MGM during the 3pm parade it was hot and crowded and she just flipped out. She was in the stroller and we had her strapped in but she kept leaning forward in the stroller trying to tip it over. So we tilted the stroller backward and headed out of the park.

My other daughter and I would stay in the parks when my mom would take the screaming one back to the hotel. Once she got back to the hotel my mom said she was fine.

So I agree with the recommendation to make sure another adult is with you so when your ds has a melt down he can be taken back to the hotel so he is comfortable. Also staying onsite is very convenient for that.

 

[robinb]

One more thing ... if you don't mind physically retraining your son you might want to consider a stroller with a 5-point harness system and not just a lap belt. My DD could undo the lap belt in a second (and bolt from the stroller) but the 5-point was beyond her. We would give her the choice: "Sit nicely or be strapped in."

 

[parmtoo]

My son was similar when he was small. Once he got lost in Epcot b/c he would not hold my mom's hand. He darted away from her so fast, and got lost in the crowd. She found him within 5 minutes, but needless to say, she was devastated. Once he knocked down an entire display of salsa in the grocery store. I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me! Even his first few years in school were difficult................
The good news is at 8, he's like a different child. He's finishing 3rd grade now and has done very well this year. We are surprising him with a trip to WDW for his 9th b-day this Aug.

We did take him to WDW several times as a toddler, and pre-schooler. We just used a stroller, and tried to stick with a plan. We stay onsite, (FW), and just went back to the resort for a rest when the going got tough.

One thing that helps with vaction plans and difficult children is to let them in on the planning if you can. Show him vidios and pictures, then ask him if he'd like to go and do all these things.

My DS is my 3rd and last child. His older sisters (now 16 & 14), were the model children no matter where we went. I thought I had done something wrong with him, and didn't understand why he acted the way he did. I now realize he is just a different type then they were.

By the way, he just received an award is school for outstanding behavior and academic preformance for the year! That's my boy!:

 

[G&J's Mom]

Oh Gretchen, I feel for you and "completely" know where you are coming from.

I am leaving for my first trip Saturday with DH, DD 4 and DS 2. DD is mildly autistic and DS is just a wild child at times. To be quite honest, I am excited for the trip, as this is our first vacation, cause I have sworn I would not take them anywhere, but I am also TERRIFIED that I will pay all this money and it will be a miserable trip. Between DD's occasional meltdowns, and DS not mnding, and DH having less patience then the two kids, I have thought of cancelling so many times in the last few months I can not even tell you. BUT, The experiences good and bad of people on the DIS board have persuaded me to go for it! Too late to cancel now, but I am going armed with tons of helpful information to hopefully help alleviate some of my concerns and help us to have the best trip ever (I HOPE).

I am going to go at their pace, mostly DD's. We will have our own car for quick escapes if need be and I am going today to purchase a safety harness for DS. A definite must.

I hope you can take alot of great tips off this board, and if you decide to take the plunge, I hope you have a wonderful time. I will post back after my trip, and hopefully it will be encouraging

Take care!

Denise

 

[gritzel4]

G&J's Mom: Have you been to the DISabilites board? They offer some of the best advice about traveling with a special needs person. I'm not sure to what extent of autism your DD displays and what issues she may have. My DS6, also mildly autistic (Aspergers), has been to WDW several times and loves it. Check out www.wdwig.com - they have a section titled "taking your autistic child to WDW" and offer some helpful tips.

If you have any questions, PM me. Have a great trip.

 

[G&J's Mom]

Originally posted by gritzel4
G&J's Mom: Have you been to the DISabilites board? They offer some of the best advice about traveling with a special needs person. I'm not sure to what extent of autism your DD displays and what issues she may have. My DS6, also mildly autistic (Aspergers), has been to WDW several times and loves it. Check out www.wdwig.com - they have a section titled "taking your autistic child to WDW" and offer some helpful tips.

If you have any questions, PM me. Have a great trip.

Hi gritzel4,

Actually I posted a topic on the disABILITIES board http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=577204

You gave me some really great links. It is that thread that has pushed me to move forward with my trip, and I appreciate it soooo very much. THANKS!!!

Denise

 

[tw1nsmom]

I would go ahead with the trip. Is it possible to bring someone with you to help with the little guy? A grandma, aunt, babysitter? That way they could take DS home if he started to tantrum, or have him stay with them at your villa for a day. I'm going to go against the concensus that you should stay onsite. I think (especially if you can bring someone to help) you should rent a vacation home with a private pool. It would give you plenty of space and a full kitchen if the little guy isn't up to eating out that often. Also, if you find he just can't handle the parks (he may surprise you and do great), you and DH (or someone else) could stay at the villa with him and their would be a TV/vcr, and the screened in private pool to entertain him. We rented one when our kids were 2 1/2 and really enjoyed the downtime and privacy we had. When our kids are a little older and won't need so much downtime, days away from the parks, we'll stay onsite again. Until then a hotel room is too cramped (for us) to be relaxing for a whole day.

 

[Naisy68]

Wow! I can't believe that your kids aren't as perfect as mine are - HA!!! That was real sarcasm by the way!

No seriously, myDD 2 (will be 3 on 7/20) is a real handful at times but usually that is when she's really tired or when she doesn't feel good. MOST of the time she CAN be reasoned with. I have learned to give her choices and I do a bit of "I'm going to count to 5 and..." Some times she comes back with, I'll be counting 1,2 and she'll come back with 3,4,5 and somehow forgets why she was acting up in the first place. AND THEN there are the times that she's throwing a real fit and I will respond with, "Ok, now lay on the floor and kick your feet too please." It's funny because that usually helps to calm her down. When she has a complete meltdown, I just pick her up and remove her to a different environment for a bit. Now, with all of this you might think she's a real terror but I will tell you that she is a wonderful, sweet loving child AND she's a very bright young lady (Which by the way, can be a bad thing because she forgets absolutely NOTHING.)

We are taking her to Disney for her 3rd birthday and I know there will be some times that she just needs a break and we have worked that into our plans. We will need to be flexible and be very sensitive to her needs.

Now on the other hand, I also have a 15 year old DS and as much as I adore him, I can't stand his attitude at times. I'd rather deal with my DD temper tantrums at times. On our trip we are going to try to make sure he gets some "freedom" so he doesn't feel like we are totally "ruining" his life.

Sorry this got so long but it was a great topic.

 

[parmtoo]

naisy68,
I feel your pain with the teen age son, I have two teen DDs, and they act like a family vacation is torture!

 

[robinb]

Originally posted by tw1nsmom
I'm going to go against the concensus that you should stay onsite. I think (especially if you can bring someone to help) you should rent a vacation home with a private pool.

I think an impulsive 2 year old and a private pool do not mix! I would be terrified that he would sneak out and fall in the pool! My sister's 2 year old son has every door lock in the house figured out and it only takes a second for a kid like that to get out.

 

[Gretchen]

Thanks for the tips you guys! I just don't know. It's not like we've never been to WDW before(just look below, oh poor me!) I just wanna go again. Anywhere, really, and not have a headache the whole time fretting about my son. Did I tell you last time he ran out the front door of the condo? We stayed at Vistana and they have the paddle type door knobs on everything. Never occured to me that he could open the doors. He was18 mos at the time. On our last day, he bolted out the front door! I nearly had a heart attack. We're standing there going, where's Erik? Oh, he's running down the walkway of the condo. WHAT!!! Kid is gonna kill me. Anyway, I would love to take someone with us to help, but DH would just about eat dirt than pay for someone to come with,(not to mention he won't split up and do other things while someone-me-left with devil child) and the in laws live in Florida and have had enough of WDW. Again, poor me! Any more ideas??
Thanks for listening...
Gretchen

 

[Gretchen]

agree with you on the vacation home with a pool. We have one at home-first place I look when I can't find the little turkey!
Gretchen

 

[BevS97]

we rented an apartment with a shared pool (I am not comfortable with a pool attached to the house either) - that worked quite well, 2 bedrooms, 2 baths living room, and kitchen, so plenty of space, and it was quite cheap too - Windsor Palms, where we stayed, is very close to WDW, so you could go back during the day quite easily.

 

[gritzel4]

Originally posted by Gretchen
Did I tell you last time he ran out the front door of the condo? We stayed at Vistana and they have the paddle type door knobs on everything. Never occured to me that he could open the doors. He was18 mos at the time. Any more ideas??
Thanks for listening...
Gretchen

We purchased at Radio Shack hand held personal alarms. They can be set up by the door or hung over the handle. If anyone tries to make a break for it - the alarm goes off. We always bring ours to hotels to secure the door - my DS is an escape artist.

 

[Angela Bricker]

When our elder DD (now 12) was 5 we took her for her first trip. She was still extremely nap-dependent, so we figured we'd do just like UG suggests and head back to the (offsite) condo every day after lunch. Well, we made it back the first day, but she was too excited to nap. The second day we were so late that even if she HAD fallen asleep, well, she wouldn't have gotten dinner. By the third day DH was arguing with her over the need to nap. Not happening! On the fourth day we gave up, just commando-toured the parks because we felt like we'd already 'wasted' three days. And by the end of the trip, despite our best efforts, no naps had happened and everyone was tired and miserable.

Family trip #2 was totally different: we stayed at POR and made SURE we took the attitude that if one of us stopped having fun, everyone was involved. So even though DD#2 was only 2 at the time we all had a BLAST. Made it back to the pool every afternoon (that was her most favorite part, so it kept her going through lines that she couldn't hope to understand), scheduled in a rest day, and never felt like we were wasting vacation. It was so much fun we're going back this month, now that the little one's 5 and fits on the cool rides!

Guess the moral of the story is, it's always possible to have fun visiting the Mouse, but you have to be respectful of the whole family's limits or everyone suffers. Where you stay and your itinerary are a lot less important than going into it with the attitude that you're all going to have fun. It's a great system, as long as everyone in the family buys into it!

Good luck!

 

[Jordan's MOM]

I think that safety is your #1 concern. Using a 5 point harness and a child leash will give you lots of piece of mind. Child proof the room well. We learned the hard way that a toddler can lock the bathroom door and close it behind him with all our stuff in it. Socks on door knobs make it hard for little ones to trun. Bring you outlet plugs and tolet locks too. Make sure all medications you bring are locked up away from him. Many overdoes of children occure from suitcases. Ask for a room in a less populated area of the resort if possible to prevent his disturbing others. Try to pick resturants that are loud anyway so his noise won't matter so much. Avoid nicer places where couples might go to get away from their toddlers from @$&%.
If you little one does become out of control, try to remove him to keep from bothering others.
AND LAST....remember you will never see these people again, It does not matter what they think. Just keep him safe and try to limit how much he bothers other and you might just be surprised how good he can be. WDW is full of Magic.

Jordan's mom

 

[lenshanem]

My youngest (now 3) has been called high intensity, strong willed, etc. You get the picture. She has been to WDW 6 times now. She is very difficult and I totally understand your situation. I won't lie and say it is easy taking her, but it is not fair to us or her older sister to miss out on the fun by not going on vacation. I feel bad enough for my oldest daughter having to endure the tantrums her sister performs for us several times daily. She loses complete control of herself. It is amazing. I keep thinking she will grow out of it, but it just continues. Trying to physically control her with child leashes, etc. is a joke. She was crawling out of her crib before most kids were rolling over. Recently, I have put my foot down and I tell her we won't put up with it anymore. She was starting to gain control of the entire house. I'm trying very hard to stay focused and gain back the authority. She needs it. It is amazing to see how different two of your own children can be. While she is very hard, she also loves me with the most intensity. Very strong emotions she has! Could a child so young be bipolar? I dunno, but here's what we did this past trip -
Took it easier, slept in a little longer, left the parks to swim when it got just too hot, etc. When she had a tantrum, I would leave with her, even if it meant getting out of line for a ride. Trying to show her there is consequences to such actions. Sure, people were probably staring at me judgmentally, but I'm doing the best I can. I don't think anyone can truly understand unless they've been there. I've aged so much these last few years. We actually had a great trip with her. This was probably the best we've had with her and I can bet it was our more relaxed attitude and trying not to do so much.
Good luck!

 

[hokiefan33]

You don't mention the age, though you do say he's a toddler, so I'm assuming around 2 or so? Anyway, you also don't mention whether autism or some other behavior-causing syndrome is involved, so I'll assume that one is not. So, you basically have a small child who acts up a lot. Barring a behavior-causing syndrome, this is typically for only a few reasons. They might be trying to get attention from parents (for whatever reason), or they know they can get away with it and enjoy your reactions. My wife and I had this problem with our DD, and the worst thing you can do is alter your life b/c of it. Let your child know who's in charge, and here's a hint - it's not them. Sometimes you need to be forceful with your kids to let them know in no uncertain terms that certain behaviors will NOT be tolerated, i.e. screaming in department stores, restaurants, etc... Don't worry about bruising their psyche or anything like that - THEY'RE 2!! Kids need boundaries, and if you don't make them and ENFORCE them, they'll run all over you. Very easy to prevent if you take action to prevent them. In my experience, kids who act up for non-medical reasons do so b/c their parents let them without disciplining them. Don't let this ruin your life, and certainly don't let it ruin your vacation. You can't try and fix it ON vacation, though; you need to get it in check before you go. Your child will love you for it, and will learn to respect your rules. It will work. I'm sure this message will generate much controversy. Anytime you talk about disciplining kids and not letting them "be themselves" in this day and age, somebody gets mad. But that's not my problem. Just my 2 cents, but it's worked for me.