Today is all going wrong :-(UPDATED :-)

[fizz13]

I need to have a mini rant so thought i would do it in a safe place

Cara is due to go up to secondary school in September, on the form I requested 3 schools in 1st 2nd 3rd prefernce order as per usual. We have one very good school near us and one very bad school near us. to try and play the game I put 1st choice as a girls school about 10 miles away from us knowing it was very oversubscribed and she wouldnt get it, 2nd choice as the very good school and 3rd choice as a school the other side of town, thereby in my warped mind i figured she would get the good school near us as process of distance etc. I know my logic is twisted and wrong but at the time it seemed like a really good way to get it. We were thrilled when our fake 2nd choice offered cara a place, she has made friends with girls going there as well that live on our road, she has done a morning of getting to know you excercises at the school etc and is really happy.
I got a letter this morning from the education authority telling me that cara has been now allocated a place at the 1st choice school and that our lower ranked choices do not apply. I had accepted the place at the 2nd school and rang them totally confused. Apparently you remain on a continued interest list for the higher ranked school!! I would have had to opt out, this is now the norm for the system. i asked where/when I was given the option to opt out and apparently it was on the original online application form i completed before. So now i am beside myself, as cara is going to go into full meltdown if i cant getb this sorted.
The authority has written everything down including our distance to the school, that she was happy to go here, that we dont want the other place, that logisticaly it is right next to where here brothers go to school. I am waiting for a phone call back as apparently the lady that deals weith this wasnt sure what to do and needed to speak to her manager. What terrifies me is the place that she did have has been offered to somebody else. she said worst case scenario cara will have to go on a wait list for the school she thought she was going to.
I feel a total idiot, this is all my fault for trying to be clever!!! i dont know what on earth i will tell cara if this cant be fixed, never mind transport and everything else, i just feel like the worst mother right now. I have been waiting 3 hours for them to phone me so i am going to phone them back right now and push some more. its just so late in the day to be pushing appeals and such. We were supposed to go to a uniform night on monday
i dont know what to do.

oh as a side note, i forgot about a standing order coming out of my account that ahs left me nice and broke for the week. Fx my curse doesnt come in 3s and ruin England today.
Thanks for reading, I dont expect sympathy, this is my fault, anyone else would be leaping to get their first choice, my heart is just breaking for cara right now

 

[wilma-bride]

Oh, poor Cara. try not to beat yourself up about it. I know what a minefield school applications can be. Like you say, you thought you were being clever doing it the way you did and, unfortunately, it has backfired on you. Obviously, I can't offer any advice apart from to keep pushing to get Cara into the preferred school. I am really not sure where you stand since, technically, you have been offered your first choice so it's difficult to now say it wasn't really your first choice. You could try arguing that things have changed since you originally applied

As for the money thing, that sort of thing used to happen to me all the time - it can happen to anyone. Sorry if it's made a bad day even worse

 

[Dollyrar]

Oh dear I hope that this works out for you over the next few hours, and you update us with good news shortly. The schools system seems like a nightmare!

 

[disney_princess_85]

Eek, sounds complicated. Best of luck sorting it out.

 

[darthtatty]

Awww poor you. I dont blame you for trying to play the system.
really hope this all gets sorted out for you and nothing else come your way.xxx

 

[Pinky166]

Big hugs hun. I hope it gets sorted asap.

 

[Booknut]

Really sorry to hear about this, I hope they sort it out. I really don't think you should be so hard on yourself, they really do make these things so ridiculously complicated.

Sending pixie dust your way to sort everything out xxx

 

[aaronandterri]

we have a similar system here but when youve accepted the place then thats it they cant take it away, its still your choice, i cant believe they have offered your place already.......seems strange to me
id tell them that you have come to terms with getting your second choice shes done the visits and settled with a new set of friends and to change at this point you feel would be disruptive, and that you fell the procedure wasnt outlined enough for you at the begining and you should always be given the option of changing at this point not autom atically~ say youve bought uniform and everything and made arrangents for her to travel with another child and they will have to sort it out.

I hope it all works out for you ((hugs))

terri x

 

[natalielongstaff]

aww por you (and cara) its a nightmare isnt it

 

[Chilly]

I hope you can get something sorted.

Can you say you've made arrangements such as school runs with other Mums based on her going to her 2nd choice school and that your 1st choice school being so far away it is now too late to make travel arrangements for or your travel plan has fallen through.

 

[mandymouse]

What a nightmare hun, I hope you get it sorted

 

[joolz1910]

This happened to my DH's cousin. It was a stressful nightmare but they eventually relented and allowed her to send her son to the '2nd' choice. The first choice school was seriously oversubscribed, so they had no problem filling the place. You're not the first to do this, so I'm sure they'll have ways of sorting it out. Try not to worry, hun - I'm sure it will be OK in the end.

 

[jjk]

hope you get it sorted

 

[BethEJo]

Stuff like this is so annoying

I understand that it's all about numbers, and that you can't just give everybody free reign on where they want to go, but going to secondary school is undeniably a big step, and therefore to try and make it easier on the kids, you'd think there'd be more leeway in letting them, and their parents choose where they will study.

I'm with the other girls: say that you've made all the arrangements. And keep pushing and pestering.

I know it's easy to say, but try not to beat yourself up. I can see how upset you are about this, and understandably so Don't be annoyed that you "played" the system, it's really not your fault.

So lots of hugs coming your way....

I'm sure this will get sorted.

 

[2Tiggies]

I often complain about the petty "rights" (read excuses) in this day and age, but you may just be able to use them to your advantage in this case.

Could you not plead your case on the grounds that her brothers attend school near to the one she was first allocated a place, in the interests of maintaining a close bond in the family unit?

Second option would be to play the distress it is causing your daughter by the change after her initial elation? You can beat the system but you've got to be prepared to put up a fight. The system usually wins because people don't follow through far enough down the line.

 

[Ware Bears]

Oh no, hope you get it sorted. Good luck.

 

[fizz13]

hi everyone,
thankyou for all your lovely words and ideas, all of which i have taken on board. I did phone back and there still wasnt a manager available to deal with it but I should have a response by tomorrow. At least then I know whether I am going ahead with an appeal or they will give me the place back.
I did have the idea to go with Cara's mental health though and the damage this would cause. As she is already receiving counselling at her current school for anxiety and panic attacks I think a supporting letter from her counsellor could be most helpful. I will also be laying out all points including the costs of her going to school 10 miles away, logistics considering her brothers, costs already incurred etc, some of all your ideas really. tomorrow I go to war.
As a backup I have spoken to the school she is at now as they run all the way from nursery to sixth form and they would be willing to give her a place for next year, which isn't ideal as its private and we had finally got to the end of paying fees, but this is still better to have her with the classmates she already knows than to throw her in at the deep end. But i will be fighting at every angle to get her the place that should still be hers.

Thankyou, all of you, and i will keep you informed

 

[2Tiggies]

tomorrow I go to war.

And all your supportive troops are right behind you.

 

[fizz13]

And all your supportive troops are right behind you.

Thankyou , small update this morning. I went into the school where I want Cara to go this morning and pleaded that we don't want Cara to lose the place there. The admissions lady said they have not had any notice to remove Cara from the list or been notified of anyone taking the place. She is also going to send an email to admissions to back up that we want Cara to keep the place there. So a little more hope.

 

[wilma-bride]

Thankyou , small update this morning. I went into the school where I want Cara to go this morning and pleaded that we don't want Cara to lose the place there. The admissions lady said they have not had any notice to remove Cara from the list or been notified of anyone taking the place. She is also going to send an email to admissions to back up that we want Cara to keep the place there. So a little more hope.

Sounds a little more hopeful then Claire - fingers crossed it all gets sorted