To Whom Would I Write/Email/Call?

[patty57]

Wow...I went out for dinner and this got even more ugly. It looks like we should agree to disagree and all move on.

 

[BugsDaddy]

The only person who has said anything about the OP being stupid is you, 3 times. Why ride in like a knight in shining armor to defend against a slight that you made up yourself? Seriously? How is it not hurtful for you to keep saying it when no one said that at all?

I've worked in service positions and the last thing I want to do is talk to people about my single or marital status, religious beliefs, political views or anything, really. I just want to do my job, get people the info they need, and not be screamed at or physically threatened. And honestly, most of the time being screamed at is better than someone making a negative comment about politics because they think they're politely engaging me. I'm not married, but I'd also take the typical rude customer over the probing one who asks about my personal life. Trust me, when I get together with co-workers and friends, it's the people who try to suck up that we talk about as much as the ones who blow their tops. If I were a CM, a simple and polite "thank you" would be a lot more welcome than some candy or a family photo, or whatever else I've seen suggested here over the years.

So, when someone "tries to suck up to you" (through some sort of act of kindness), you and your friends get together and make fun of them? How pleasant and mature.

 

[Skywalker]

I'm sure your hearts in the right place but I hope you don't do this. If you were going out for a fancy dinner on New Year's Eve would you ask the restaurant to track down the spouse of the maître d' and seat them with you at your table for five for the night? I really doubt it. It'd likely be very awkward. You are trying to blur the line between a job and a social situation...maybe if you were already friends with the captain this would be a nice gesture. Coming from a total stranger knowing nothing about the captain or their spouse, and them knowing nothing about you, it is just odd.

Also, think of it for your own self-protection. The captain's significant other could just be a loud mouth, alcoholic, attention-seeking, obnoxious jerk who will ruin your night lol.

 

[LaurenT]

I'm sure your hearts in the right place but I hope you don't do this. If you were going out for a fancy dinner on New Year's Eve would you ask the restaurant to track down the spouse of the maître d' and seat them with you at your table for five for the night? I really doubt it. It'd likely be very awkward. You are trying to blur the line between a job and a social situation...maybe if you were already friends with the captain this would be a nice gesture. Coming from a total stranger knowing nothing about the captain or their spouse, and them knowing nothing about you, it is just odd.

Also, think of it for your own self-protection. The captain's significant other could just be a loud mouth, alcoholic, attention-seeking, obnoxious jerk who will ruin your night lol.

Ha! I have to say, the last line of this post provides an extremely valid point.... (you could wind up with someone like me on your boat...all that money - totally wasted!)

 

[PetePanMan]

well intentioned I'm sure there is no need to do this - there is a reason why so many are reacting to this... Keep the boundaries (give captain what he/she really wants - a big fat tip)

 

[over50visits]

My hat's off to the amazing random act of kindness from the OP! I hope you are successful.

I am so sorry for the negative and worse posts that your wonderful thought generated in this thread! Please ignore the nattering nabobs of negativism

 

[Planogirl]

I keep trying to see things from the significant other's perspective. I can't imagine sitting there by myself with strangers. Maybe it's just me but the idea makes me uncomfortable.

 

[Hrhpd]

I don't know that I'd make this offer, but I think the OP was genuinely being kind; he has empty spaces on his boat, it's a holiday evening, and he thought why not? (Sorry don't know if OP is a he or she, no offense meant). There ARE people who don't mind having their SO or family members around while they work. DH is a professor, and I've sat in on his lectures sometimes at his invitation. We have a niece who TOOK his class. My ex-BIL is a flight attendant for United, and when everyone was on speaking terms (don't ask…) he would encourage family members to take the flights he was working on, or even sometimes bid for specific flights he knew we'd be on. As a PP noted, entertainers are often given comp tickets for family members to come watch them work. While some of you think it's awkward, there are many who would think of it as fun!

And as far as it being awkward to share a cruise with strangers, have none of you ever taken an Illuminations or Wishes cruise by buying seats in someone's boat? There's a whole thread on the DIS about fireworks cruise availability. How is offering space to the skipper's SO- or her/him accepting it- any different than sharing a fireworks cruise with a stranger? Heck, I met one of my best friends via an Illuminations cruise. She had spaces, we wanted to cruise, and that's how we met, TEN YEARS ago. I've only actually seen her four times since then- once again on that first vacation, two days on a subsequent vacation when our dates overlapped, and once when they vacationed in Bar Harbor. I'm not saying that the CM's SO will become lifelong friends with OP, but it's just not as creepy and awkward as some of you seem to think!

Your examples are apples to oranges. In each case, the employee was the one to initiate friends and family to be with them.

If you want an apples to apples comparison, in your BIL's situation, it would be akin to a passenger having an open seat and then asking the airline for your BIL's personal information so that the passenger could invite your BIL's SO to be their guest on the flight. Of course, this could never happen because a passenger could not transfer a ticket, and it would be weird for your BIL's SO to be invited as a guest by a stranger on their husband's flight. If the BIL and his SO wanted the SO on the flight, they would arrange it themselves.

OP - if you were just going out to dinner for NYE in your hometown, would you find it appropriate to go to the restaurant a few days early to get your server's name and then invite the server's SO to dinner with you? No, it would be looked on as strange. Just because it is Disney, does not make boundaries more flexible.

I second or third or fourth a big tip for the captain so that the captain and SO can go out and spend a nice dinner just the two of them.

And just for the record, I do believe the OP had good intentions and was caught up in the excitement of Disne at NYE.

 

[Cyrano]

Time to put this conversation to bed before the need to start deleting posts and having words with some folks who need to learn a more tolerate tone when posting