To the parents of teens...I am fed up with you!!

[Mermaid02]

Supervision is for babies

 

[L107ANGEL]

Unsupervised I hope!

Thats parenting they don't teach you!

 

[ducklite]

Yep. You win. And only because I'm jealous ––*DH won't let me get an iPod because he doesn't think I'll use it, but HE can have a PSP ???

I found out that my DH was planning on giving me an Ipod as a surprise and told him not to. Now I hear he's planning on getting me a GPS for my car--now THAT is something I'll use! If you've ever driven in downtown Orlando you'd understand why. Give me NYC ANYDAY!!!

Anne

 

[DVCLiz]

And another thing...

This really ought to be retitled "Parents of Pre-Teens", because these really aren't teen issues. All of the 15 - 18 year olds I know fought these battles with their parents 3 or 4 years ago. They all ended up with cell phones and Ipods by the time they were juniors in high school, at the latest. The TV issue became moot once they realized that their parents were old and tired, and that any TV in the house could safely be watched as long as they waited until their parents were asleep. If their parents held the line against private internet use (a concept I have a hard time with - why not let them learn what's out there and how to safely navigate while they are still at home and you have some influence?) they simply figured out how to circumvent that policy. There's a reason they like to "study" together wherever there's a wireless network set up, you know.

 

[pixiepower1971]

I admit right up front that I have not read this board in full, so what I say may have already been hashed out! I am working on it but you all have been quick!

My 2 girls are spoiled. They have every electronic piece they (or their father!) could ever want! My girls have had them since they were little. They have always gotten frustrated with friends that come over that are allowed little access to these things. Because all these kids ever want to do is watch tv, play xbox or get on the computer. My girls want to play!

They are well above avg academically, they both dance competitively and spend over 10 hours a week at the dance school. My 10 year old has her black belt in tae kwon do and her younger sister is working towards hers. We have family night every week, they have a full, busy life. We travel quite a bit. I also homeschool them so I am sure I am spending more then enough time with them!

So these "things" are not bad. What is bad is never exposing your kids to things and teaching them to use them in moderation and at appropriate times and never in place of a friend that is right there.

But even worse is telling someone else that what they do is wrong.
Live your life the way you want OP and I will live mine.

 

[poohandwendy]

In one study, they found that simply having a TV set in a kid's bedroom can be linked to lower academic skills.

LOL...sheesh, just the actual presence of a TV can do all that? Maybe those crazy people who wear foil hats are right! It really is an alien attack on mankind!

 

[minniecarousel]

ok I didn't read this whole thread, but I gotta put in my 2 cents. Granted, my "kids" are 23 & 26 now, but we dealt with some of these issues. A 12 year-old deosn't need a cell phone - I like that your son has an emergency one - tell him to keep it in his backpack - he should just tell his friends he simply doesn't have one (so all 12 year-olds really have cell phones?)

Our younger son was finally able to have a TV in his room when he paid for it himself (out of his umpiring money). He is one of those people who studies best with regular background noise. Older DS would never had gotten any homework done if he had had a TV in his room - different kids - different needs.

Now, the computer in the bedroom - I'm not sure how I would have dealt with that (we finally bought them their own computers when they went off to college). I'd probably agree if we had really good filters on the computers - I wouldn't want my teenage kids having access to the entire WWW without some supervision.

My kids had plenty of computer games that they played on an extra TV that was kept in the living room (main TV in the family room).

Not sure why you're (the OP) so mad at other parents or why you insist they're lazy. Different parents have different rules - it's none of your business. As your DS gets older, perhaps you'll rethink your stand on some of these things (I know I did) Never say never.

 

[SillyMe]

Unsupervised I hope!

Why not? She's 14. She wouldn't even be thinking about sex yet. My dd would never do that.

 

[debster812]

LOL...sheesh, just the actual presence of a TV can do all that? Maybe those crazy people who wear foil hats are right! It really is an alien attack on mankind!

I'm lol-ing and wiping diet Root Beer off my monitor.

Foil Hats

 

[poohandwendy]

LOL, this thread actually inspired me to add to my siggie for the first time in like 3 years....haven't changed it since the Debate board bit the dust.

 

[paslea_pooh]

I truly feel bad for the OP. If you feel that this is the way you want to raise your son and you also feel that it's in his best interest, then why would you care what other people give their children? How is that my fault?

I know there are parents that take their kids hunting, I don't and won't. Does it mean that these parents are wrong? NO! They are raising THEIR children the way they see fit and they are not raising mine.

It sounds like to me you aren't 100% convicted in what you are doing. You are an adult, make the decision and quit moaning about it.

My children ALL have t'v's in their rooms. My oldest has TIVO.. In a couple of months she'll have a laptop , as she is starting college soon. We play games together, we play video games together... we watch movies together AND we talk... Our main computer is in the kitchen and we have a 2nd computer in the Master Bedroom, BOTH are under my supervision. You are making an ASSumption that parents that give these things to their kids are lazy. My two oldest (14 & 18) have cell phones.., they also have Ipods. I feel if we can give them things that we feel they want/need, then we'll do it. My sister and I had a tv in our room. We didn't do drugs, smoke or get pregnant! We turned out fairly well.. except for a Dis obsession I have, I am really normal

Don't unload your guilty parenting on others.

I have also encountered children/teens that were raised very strict, as soon as they are out of sight of their parents they tend to go a bit wild. We know someone who is Very strict with their kids... NO T.V watching on the weekdays, they are sent off to Christian Retreats during the summer... Guess what? This girl was expelled from our local H.S. for selling drugs ! Her Mom is very involved in the church...prayer meetings , etc....

For the parent that said they don't have tv in their childs room or a computer and then that's why they feel they wouldn't know HOW to rebel!!! Well you are in for a world of disappointment... Children will rebel, especially TEENS, even the good ones b/c it's in their nature.... Plus they have their influences at school... TV is not such a horrible thing.. why make your child an outcast, school is difficult enough these days....with drugs, violence...and more things than we've seen as children.


Remember you need to lose some of the Battles along the way so you don't lose the WAR !! Choose your battles wisely !

 

[IceQueen777]

This thread is so funny!

To the OP: I cannot stand people who blame the world for THEIR problems. If your son gives you trouble about your rules, then deal with it and quit blaming the parents whose rules are different than yours. This is just another example of the "blame everyone else" mentality that seems to be so prevalent today.

 

[Mom2Ashli]

Okay than.

Here is my story and I am sticking to it.

My DD 7 has had a T.V (which is bigger than the one in my room) in her room since she was 3 years old. And a DVD and VCR (for those older Disney movies we have).

We sit down and play board games (GASP):eek Yes board games at least once a week. She loves them and we play them with her.

And I will continue to give my Child what ever I want. DH and I have discussed getting her a cell phone before too long. Again my decision and nobody elses business.

 

[poohandwendy]

And I will continue to give my Child what ever I want. DH and I have discussed getting her a cell phone before too long. Again my decision and nobody elses business.

Sing it loud and proud sista!

 

[MUFFYCAT]

After reading through abit I've decided to get my 2 DD a TV, laptop,
new phones(old ones are 9 month already!)
I also decided they could lock their room, what the heck I'll buy them
a refrigrator too.

 

[disykat]

Let's see. Becuase you are in the minority you want to blame the majority. .

Who says the OP is in the minority? My kids don't have that stuff either. I don't think the MAJORITY of kids do. I've only read the first page of posts so far, but even on the DIS - where the majority of us can afford things like yearly vacations - there have been many of us who said our kids don't have their own tvs, computers, or cell phones.

 

[Duckfan-in-Chicago]

I know what the OP is saying. I've been telling my kid since day one he can either get a new BMW for his 16th b-day or any plastic surgery he feels that he needs, but I simply can't afford both regardless of what the kids down the block are getting.

 

[Marseeya]

Darn it! I go to class and miss out on all the fun!

I was on another forum where a poster had a tantrum similar to the OP's because all these other parents were giving their kids too many Christmas presents and too much money from the tooth fairy, but she couldn't afford it, and it wasn't fair that she had to explain to her child why he didn't get as much as other kids.

Wahhhhhhhh!!!!!

Some major sour grapes going on there.

I can't imagine how lazy I must be for giving my 10 year old a cell phone. Oh wait. She was 9 when she got it.

 

[va32h]

OP, I completely understand why you've chosen not to allow your teens to have cell phones, or tvs, game systems, and computers in their rooms.

I have made and will make some of those same decisions.

But I know I can't expect other parents to do the same thing. I make the choices for my family, they make the choices for theirs.

I will intervene if I think that my child is going to be allowed to watch a movie or play a game at someone else's house that I don't approve of, but otherwise, I mind my own business.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Okay, I hate to spoil all the fun,
but I want to ask you guys

The OP is not just simply a 'parent' here.

There is a definite distinction being drawn here.
The OP does not say "Some Parents" or "Other Parents"

The OP says boldly and genericly "I don't get 'parents' "
The OP says boldly and genericly "To 'parents' "

Not 'to parents who do this'
Not 'to lame deadbeat parents'

But, simply 'parents'

There is a line drawn here.
The OP's username gives it all away here.

The ONLY people I know who would use the word 'parents' like that, without any qualification, are either non-parents, or teachers.

My Trolldar is not going off here.
But, my ParentBasher radar is blaring