To the parents of teens...I am fed up with you!!

[NMAmy]

Well, you seem very upset and I can understand but each parent needs to make the decisions for their own family.

DD has all the things you've mentioned and she's 15. I'll let you know my reasoning but you probably won't agree with it and that's ok.

She has a tv in her room because I don't like to watch a movie 17 times in a week. She does. I also don't like to watch a lot of the shows she watches on the Disney channel. Raven makes me grind my teeth. Does that mean she's exclusively up in her room all the time? Not at all. We're not big tv watchers but we watch the Gilmore Girls together every week and sometimes we do watch other shows together. The rest of the time we're doing other things together--not watching tv. Reading is another thing we both do but we don't have to be in the same room to do it--we discuss books and trade back and forth.

The computer. DD has a laptop. She uses it for school and I borrow it a lot as well. So, yeah, she can take it in her room and I don't have a problem with it. She spends most of her online time picking out clothes she wants to get when she earns enough money with extra chores and babysitting.

Cell phone. I got her a cell phone when she was 13 and got myself one at the same time. The reason? I did it after she got separated from the girl she was riding home with from a football game and there were no pay phones at the entire school. Luckily, a mom with a cell phone saw her crying and let her borrow it to call me. I bought us each a cell phone the next day. It allows her to be more independent and me to be able to contact her anytime I want to.

My big gripe about parents who don't allow things like a cell phone? Wanting me to let their child make phone calls home constantly on dd's. One friend's mom won't let her get a cell phone then uses dd's minutes calling her kid on the cell instead of on our landline. THAT annoys me.

You're allowed to raise your child the way you see fit just as I'm allowed to make that decision for my kid. None of this technology has alienated my child or kept her apart from the family or affected her straight A's in school or her athletics. Just because we've made different decisions doesn't mean either one of us is wrong. Just different.

 

[foolishmortal]

Boo's Mom: My communication with my son is just fine, thank you. He knows and understands he will not be having a TV, DVD, TIVO, telephone, computer in his room. He's not happy about it, but too bad.

However, my husband and I talk about the lack of common sense that so many parents,like you, show when they give these things to their kids. It's something that I completely disagree with, and yes, I do think these parents are lazy!!

So am I lazy when I coach his little league baseball team for 3 months, and football for 2 months?

How lazy m I when we are at the amuement park with season passes all summer?

How lazy am I when he is honor roll and I help him when he needs help on homework.

How lazy am I when I work and am ABLE to provide him these "extra's"?

I guess I would rather be labled lazy than have to force my beliefs onto others.

 

[SillyMe]

Both of my daughters have tv's and my oldest dd has a cell phone. Frankly, you can rant and rave all you want. It's none of your business what my children have.

 

[mickeysgal]

How about adding:

1. I want a car (from mom and dad) because everyone's parents have given them one.

Nope..not happening here. DS will have to work and earn the money to buy a car. Until then, its the family car - if/when it's available.

My DS and DD both have cells. Its a safety issue with us. They're in too many activities and I like them to be able to call me when they need to.

Now DS does have a TV in his room along with his video games. I will say that we've been discussing taking it out of his room since he doesn't like to listen to the house rules of no video games during the week. He needs to spend more time on his schoolwork and all too often, we catch him either watching TV and/or playing games. Since he doesn't like to follow the rules, then he's losing his privilege of having it in his room. School and homework doesn't thrill him and I personally think its too much of a tempting distraction for MY teen. Each child is different, of course.

 

[Miller1412]

However, my husband and I talk about the lack of common sense that so many parents,like you, show when they give these things to their kids. It's something that I completely disagree with, and yes, I do think these parents are lazy!!

Wow...that's one negative view. You sure you're not just 'cause that is on MAJOR generalization.

 

[Brier Rose]

Oh boy!

Well..my DD does an online homeschool, so she has her own computer for that (lap top no less!). DS has a computer for games only..no internet!
My computer is for work ONLY! I'd rather them have their own than take a chance of messing up something important on mine.

They both have TV's in their room, for the same reason another poster mentioned. If DH and I want to watch something R rated, or maybe something the kids wouldn't be interested in, why shouldn't they be able to watch something they like too?

DD has a cell phone for a couple of reasons. To be able to call us, so she can talk to her friends without tying up our home phone, and it was CHEAP..so we figured why not?? It cost us a whole 10 bucks to add her on to our plan. It's very convenient, and we've never thought twice about it.

Hmmm..they also have Ipod..PSP...etc...and go to WDW about 3/4 times a year. So do I get the bad and lazy parent award??

 

[MUFFYCAT]

My 2 dd ages 12 & 15 don't have a TV or computer in their room.
I know my older would not pay attention to her school work if she had a TV
in her room. She also admits to that. As far as the computer goes we
usually wear our computers to the ground, so we never have old computers that would work.

Cell phones they've hadsince the 7th grade and 5th grade for the youngerc DD. It does provide some comfort to know where they are, now that they are older. Although my 15 DD says I call her too much on weekend and nobody else gets calls from their parents
I call her early afternoon and dinnertime

 

[poohandwendy]

It makes me really angry at other parents, because I blame them, not the children. It infuriates me, because I see it as laziness on the part of parents, and because of this, my child doesn't fit in. He also doesn't get why he can't have one.

If your son does not get why he can't have one, sorry...but that is up to you to deal with. It's your job to explain what he can and cannot have...and why. LOL, you hold other people accountable for your son not fitting in? Um, does he always have to be exactly like others to 'fit in'?

Why does a teenager, especially 12-15 year old, need a TV and computer in their room?

It's none of your business why other people allow such things for their kids. If it were about 'need', my kids would have only a bed and dresser in their rooms.

It makes me really angry at other parents, because I blame them, not the children.

Blame them for what? Allowing them to have something you disaprove of? Please.

It infuriates me, because I see it as laziness on the part of parents,

Laziness? How so?

Why would you want your child to have a TV in their room? So you don't have to see them or talk to them?

OMG, you just figured me out...I don't want to talk to my kids, so I distract them with electronic devices to avoid conversation. Wow, what a stretch of the imagination.

So you don't have to be bothered with monitoring their TV programs?

LOL, have you heard of channel blocking?

What about a computer? So they can surf and email on a computer and go on MYSPACE and again you don't have to be bothered by it?

Again, have you heard of parental controls? You also do know that not all bedroom computers are hooked up to the internet, right?

I don't get why kids need these things and why it's so popular that they have them in their room.

Why are you under the impression that other parents should only provide their children with things that are 'needs'? I am sure your child has some things that are not considered necessity.

Why does a 12 year old need a regular cell phone? Why does any teen who doesn't drive yet need a cell phone?

Better question is, why is it any of your business? And why are you blaming your son's reaction to your rules on other peoples actions?

 

[golfgal]

No, this is not tounge in cheek. And, no, I don't think a 12 year old needs a regular cell phone to keep in touch with his parents! A phone programmed with the parents numbers works just fine, and is cheap too. And, sorry, but no 10 year old needs a TV in his room or computer for that matter.

Well, my kids don't and won't have a tv in their rooms. They may get a computer in their rooms for homework, but then maybe not. My oldest has a cell phone and that is for my convenience not his. He is involved in some activities and it makes it easier for me to pick him up when he is done. The cell phone was free and only costs $9.99/month on our plan, we share minutes. He has used maybe 60 total minutes in the past 2 years since he got his phone (he was 12 then). Most of DS's classmates that have cell phones have the same type of plan we do where it is only $9.99/month to add on to the adults plan. Why do you think YOUR way is the right way for everyone else? You don't live in my house, you don't know my schedule? Why should YOU decide what is right for us?

 

[MouseWorshipin]

My son is on a campaign because he wants the following items that "everyone" has...

1) He wants a TV in his room. Every child he knows has their own TV and DVD player in their room.

2) He wants a computer in his room! Of course, every child he know has one in their room.

3) He wants a cell phone. Now, he has a MIGO, which is a phone with 4 programmed numbers where he can reach my husband and I, but he is teased about it and he is embarrassed about it.

So, tell him "no," if you don't want to give it to him.

I don't get parents...Why does a teenager, especially 12-15 year old, need a TV and computer in their room? It makes me really angry at other parents, because I blame them, not the children. It infuriates me, because I see it as laziness on the part of parents, and because of this, my child doesn't fit in. He also doesn't get why he can't have one.

Why would you want your child to have a TV in their room? So you don't have to see them or talk to them? So you don't have to be bothered with monitoring their TV programs? What about a computer? So they can surf and email on a computer and go on MYSPACE and again you don't have to be bothered by it? I don't get why kids need these things and why it's so popular that they have them in their room.

Why does a 12 year old need a regular cell phone? Why does any teen who doesn't drive yet need a cell phone?

I give these things to the kids because I damn well please to and do not have to explain myself to you.

 

[mickeyboat]

You posted while I was typing. Now that I see you are serious, I think you are doing a little pot-stirring. Where is DVCLiz with her trolldar when you need her?

I'll repeat, don't judge others because they choose to parent their children different than you. And don't blame everyone else because your child questions how you are parenting him. If you have enough guts to come on here and criticize how many of us are parenting our children, you have enough guts to tell your son that you are my child, these are my rules, live with them.

Denae

 

[6_Time_Momma]

Huh. It upsets you that, because people raise their kids differently than you, your son doesn't fit in?

Well, Tough Tiki Bar for you and your son, I guess. One of life's most important lessons.........life ain't always fair.

 

[isyne4u]

and go to WDW about 3/4 times a year.

so can I blame you for me not being able to go to WDW as much as I would like?? I've been looking for someone to blame!!


as for the OP...tell you kid that life sucks!!

tara

 

[Michie]

None of my kids have a tv/computer in their room, or any of those game things,( cant think what you call them!) and my oldest is 21. Actually none of us have tv's in our bedrooms

My kids always asked for horses,4 wheelers, golf carts!

I take that back, my kids in college have tv's in their dorm rooms, but that is not considered a bedroom it is considered a living space, so does that count?

People need to learn their own darn business.

 

[DisTeach1]

Well, yes, it is judgemental. But, everyone judges at some point in their lives, and this is a hot button with me. So, take it or leave it. I stand firm on what I think of these issues. Now, with the weather we are having, my connection is as slow as molasses, I have taxes to do, and a son that I'm actually going to play a board game with! Remember those...Board games??

 

[poohandwendy]

However, my husband and I talk about the lack of common sense that so many parents,like you, show when they give these things to their kids. It's something that I completely disagree with, and yes, I do think these parents are lazy!!

That's funny...my DH and I often talk about parents like you too. We just scratch our heads and wonder why they think their opinion should apply to everyone.

We have tons of time to talk about it too...you know, after we send all of the kids to their rooms to check out porn on the internet and watch TV shows that are inappropriate for their ages. They can just pick up their cell phones and call us if they need anything....

 

[Wishing on a star]

I give these things to the kids because I damn well please to and do not have to explain myself to you.

Wow, said it all in one short sentence!!! I bow before you!!!

 

[Nancyg56]

However, my husband and I talk about the lack of common sense that so many parents,like you, show when they give these things to their kids. It's something that I completely disagree with, and yes, I do think these parents are lazy!!

I raised 3 kids, and gave them what I felt was appropriate. They did not have everything that other kids had, and they had things that some of their friends did not. The decisions were mine to make, and I did not ask for approval from anyone, nor did I judge the parenting decisions that others made that did not mirror my own.

It is acceptable to provide for your family in the manner that you are comfortable, but it is also your responsibility as a parent to ensure taht your children understand that there will always be those who have more money, newer cars, faster toys, bigger homes.....it goes on and on.

It is not acceptable to cast a blanket across those whose opinions differ from your own and call them lazy parents. It is impossible to know what goes on in anyone else home. What is common sense to you may be nonsense to me.

 

[ckay87]

Boo's Mom: My communication with my son is just fine, thank you. He knows and understands he will not be having a TV, DVD, TIVO, telephone, computer in his room. He's not happy about it, but too bad. I've explained to him that we will not make the same BAD choices that other parents make!

However, my husband and I talk about the lack of common sense that so many parents,like you, show when they give these things to their kids. It's something that I completely disagree with, and yes, I do think these parents are lazy!!

With all due respect...you're out of line. That there bolded item falls into the category of personal attacks, so I'd kind of be careful. Are you really getting this upset at having to tell your kid no?

We are not well off whatsoever. I work part time. I could make a list several pages long of stuff my kids don't have that other kids do....many of which your kids probably DO have.

In fairness, I get your point, but here's where you're wrong....you're assuming every kid with a tv (or whatever) in their room is parked there hours on end. My son has a tv in his room which he only uses when we kick him off the big main tv in the living room. So your assumptions about me based on that one simple fact are waaaay off base.

 

[Desnik]

To the OP:
I think it is great that you are raising your kids the way YOU see fit and are sticking to it!!!
I would turn this around on your DS and ask him why it is so important to him to "fit in" and be like the other kids? I would also express to him how important it is to be himself and greatful for the things you do give to him. Also I agree with the poster who said this is the oldest trick in the book for a kid to use this to try and get his way!

I do not believe it is other parents faults. Please don't fault me because I have a different way I am raising my kids. It is something I can afford to do and like to do for my kids. I have an 8yo and she has a TV/DVD in her room, a laptop, and a Firefly cell phone(similar to your sons phone) I think it is important to have a computer for school. We, together research all the things she is learning in school and can take it to another level with all the info on the net. Her computer has a block on it so she can only go to the sites we have it programed for. She's not on the computer all hours and doesn't sit in front of a TV all day. It is nice for her to go in her room and watch a movie. That's just the way our family is. We aren't "bad" because of it nor do we provide our kids with these luxuries to make it hard for parents who choose not to.

I think your statements are very harsh and judemental. Maybe you posted in the heat of the moment and don't really blame other parents?