To my friends in Tech Support . . .

[Deb in IA]

This is an actual conversation to a computer tech support staffer:

Customer: My computer won't work. You guys must have broken it when you installed the modem.

Tech support: Is it plugged in?

Customer: OF COURSE it is plugged in, you moron!!!

Tech support: When you push the power button it - -

Customer: Power button? This computer doesn't have a power button.

Tech support: Sir, all computers have power buttons. Look at the front of the case, find the word "power", and push the button.

Customer: YOU FIXED IT!! THANKS!!!

 

[debster812]

OK--everyone--DON'T LAUGH. This happens. ALL THE TIME.

We had to send one of our techs to a store that would not come back online. After 6 hours of troubleshooting over the phone. When our tech got there, there were 3 cables the store had 'forgotten' to plug back in, after assuring him countless times that everything was back exactly the way it was before.

 

[caitycaity]

dh is an IT professional and used to do tech support when we were in school.

one time he went to go work on the computer of a professor. when he walked in the lights were all off in the building. the secretary told him the power was out in that building and that she had told all of the profs. sure enough, when he went down to the professor's office, the problem was that he couldn't turn his computer on. when my dh sheepishly explained about the power, the professor said; "well don't computers work over the phone line???"

 

[Kermit]

I used to do tech support right after I graduated from college and couldn't get a job I really wanted right away. I'm so glad I don't have to do that any more. I hated that job.

I had all sorts of interesting calls. One guy could open the program our company sold, but he couldn't type anything in it. Turns out he was using the keyboard for the computer next to his. The best part was that he griped me out for not asking him if that was the problem when I was going over the usual list of things to try.

Another lady called and told me that she couldn't print a certain kind of report inside our program. I tried to get her to tell me exactly what was happening (like if she was getting an error message), but she was really vague. This went on for about 5 minutes when I finally told her that I wanted her to walk me through step-by-step what was happening. I eventually figured out that the program wouldn't launch at all. I asked her why she didn't tell me that she couldn't start the program, and she told me that all she cared about was printing that one report, she didn't care if the program started or not.

 

[Stepharoonie!]

Oh my gosh, these are funny