To go to Disney seems impossible

[JJ&JSMOM]

I am so up and down about our Disney trip in May 07. We have our ressies & adrs and everything scheduled. Off and on I just feel its impossible - we have 3 kids ages 7, 4 & 2 (at time of travel) and I just don't know how I'm going to do it and enjoy myself. Our DD1 (2 at time of travel) is SO different then our other 2.

Don't get me wrong I love her as much as the other two and wouldn't want to be without her but she is such a handful. I know its not good to compare - but the others are so laid back and take things as they come but DD1 is totally the opposite. Its great shes her own person but boy is she a handful. She tests boundaries from the minute she gets up in the morning until bedtime. She really knows how to push my buttons.

I sometimes think that we should wait until shes more manageable but I have wanted to take DS7 & DD4 for the longest time and now we can afford it. DS7 is getting into the higher grades where I'd be more worried about taking him out of school and I just really want to go in 07. I don't know we have 5 1/2 months or so maybe by the time we go things will be easier!

Anybody have any similar situation or tips on dealing? Thanks in advance!

Joanne

 

[DVCLiz]

Could you leave her home with grandparents? That might be your best bet on this trip. Enjoy it with your older two, and plan another trip when DD2 is older and more manageable.

 

[sassyMNmom]

I'm going for the first time in 10 days with my boys age 6, 4 & 2. With my youngest son (who's 2 1/2 really) I feel like we've finally reached the age where he can communicate well and we can reason with him. He was very much a handful before and at age 2...but developmentally something clicked and now he seems so grown up. I think it happens to all kids in their own time...at their own rate. If you really feel like your toddler is not ready for this, I second the previous poster's suggestion of leaving her behind if possible. I know that vacations with difficult children can feel anything but a vacation...and you've planned too hard and spent too much $ for that. If she must come, you need to be realistic about your expections and set firm boundaries (in advance!) to avoid headaches. Go slow and take it easy...and definitely don't sweat the small stuff.

Good Luck!

 

[JJ&JSMOM]

Both DH and I are the "babies" of our families so the grandparents are in their early to mid 70's so unfortunately that option is out. And we don't have any other family members around that would be able to take her. I guess we'll see how things go perhaps once we get to Disney she will be so taken w/everything she'll be fine. It would be so nice to be able to enjoy the other two without worrying about how DD1 is going to act.

I think I'll start taking her to more places and getting her out more-maybe that will help. We sometimes change our plans based on DD1 and I don't think thats fair for DD4 and DS7. Maybe more experiences (no matter how painful for me) will help her and myself deal! Thanks again.

 

[Ariel8676]

I think I'll start taking her to more places and getting her out more-maybe that will help. We sometimes change our plans based on DD1 and I don't think thats fair for DD4 and DS7. Maybe more experiences (no matter how painful for me) will help her and myself deal! Thanks again.

I was going to recommend this..i think what happens a lot is that if a child seems to be "a handful" the parents often feel the best thing to do is to stay home. I feel the opposite..i feel that the only way for a child to know the proper way to act in public is to be exposed to different social situations..restaurants, stores, parties etc...
Now i don't recommend going to a fancy restaurant..lol, but to start, a child friendly place where you can teach them to sit and behave and stay in their seat until the rest of the family is finished or whatever, you get what i mean.
Could you maybe do more with just you and she..storytime at a library, or arts and crafts, or a mommy and me class? Maybe she is looking for extra attention and is acting out in order to get it???? Now this is just my honest opinion and i hope you dont take this as me trying to tell you how to parent, because that is not my intention.
Good Luck, you still have plenty of time before you leave..im sure once you get there everything will be great and you will be happy that you have the entire family with you!!!

 

[HeatherC]

I feel your pain...except my youngest is now 5 1/2. She is the youngest of 3 (dd 10, ds 8) and the one with the strongest stubborn streak I have ever seen!! That being said, I woudn't want her any other way because I really believe this will help her in life. But it can certainly make for some trying times.

We have taken her to Disney several times over the years starting at the age of 1. She is now quite the little traveler and loves pulling her own suitcase through the airport.

These are some ideas that worked for us that maybe you might consider.

1. Try to give her as much "freedom" as possible. If you are in a location where it is possible for her to get out of the stroller and walk, let her. Even if it takes you longer to get places. I even recommend those "leash" things. I know some people despise them, but for my youngest she would just dart away. I didn't want to risk losing her. We did not harness her, we just had her hold the loop at one end and we took turns walking with her. The older kids actually loved it because they were helping out and she thought she was a big girl walking. You could start this at home at the mall or something before you go so she is used to it.

2. Try to stick to her regular schedule as much as possible. Even if she has to miss naptime, make sure her bedtime is the same, etc.. Or make sure she gets her nap if she really needs it.

3. Constantly keep snacks and drinks on hand. Even if she isn't asking for something, keep loading her up on healthy things. This really does help avert some meltdowns. I still do this with my older ones at Disney too. They get so caught up in what we're doing that they forget they are hungry or thirsty.

4. Not sure where you plan on staying, but I would really recommend a suite type of accomodation. This way you could put her in a separate room, she can unwind or have her meltdown if she needs too and the rest of you are not in the same room. I think this also helps alleviate stress for everyone. Trying to get 5 people to sleep in one room with a toddler is not fun.

These are just a few things that worked for us. Every family is different and has different needs so they may not work for you.

I guess I would say still go...because life moves at warp speed and if we wait for the perfect time to do things with our kids/families, the time will never be perfect. By the time the perfect day arrives, the opportunity has passed or some crisis pops up. Does that make sense?

Hope this helps give you a few ideas.

Have a wonderful time!!!
HeatherC

 

[wrldpossibility]

My kids are close to the same age, and ALL my kids were a handful at 1! We're going in a few days, and have a 7, 5, and 2 yo. Like you, I wanted to take the older kids before they were too much older, for the magic and the ability to miss school right now. We have noticed a huge difference in our 2 yo between 18 months and 2. 6 months could make a big difference for yours too.

If not, I'd still take her. I don't agree with others who advocate leaving one behind, personally. If you have 2 adults, you can still split up when necessary. I think you'll see a difference by then anyway!

 

[Ros4]

I completely understand how you feel. My ds2 is quite the handful. He is completely different from dd9, I could have taken her anywhere! That being said, we are going to WDW in January. We are planning to tour Majic Kingdom at HIS pace for 3 days until nap time . One of us will take ds back to the resort for his 2 1/2 hr nap and the other will hop to another park or do whatever my daughter wants for the next few hours. We will then meet up for dinner. I may bring a leash for him ( I'm shocked I would consider this but I would not want to loose him!!). One of us will wait in line with dd9 while the other walks around with son until we are closer to load and ds will get in line. I am going to try to be as laid back as possible during this trip!

 

[FourBoysMom]

I so feel your pain. We returned from our WDW trip this past November. DH, myself and 4 sons - ages 11, 9, 3, & 1 1/2.

Would I do it again? Absolutely!

Was it awful at times? Absolutely!

We were there entirely too long (13 days). We were good until about day 6. That's when the meltdowns began.

Keep in mind that you have to accept the fact that you're probably not going to be able to "open" the parks and "close" the parks. Don't be disappointed. Do what you can when you can. It's better to see and enjoy a few things...than cram everything in just to "get it done" or "see it all"...savor what you can do comfortably!

There were about 3 days in a row where DH and I tag teamed...one stayed in our timeshare with the little ones...the other went off with the older two. After lunch we would switch. The little one's were perfectly content to play in the condo, feed the fish in the pond, play on the playground, sidetrip to WalMart...get that much needed NAP!

Yes, we did take a vacation to be together as a family....but if you need to split up to give the little ones a break....you're better off. After all, what good is family time if everyone's miserable because of a cranky child?

If you have any questions...please....feel free to ask. I'm more than happy to help in anyway that I can....PM me, or post here...

Best wishes!

Trixie

 

[JJ&JSMOM]

I feel your pain...except my youngest is now 5 1/2. She is the youngest of 3 (dd 10, ds 8) and the one with the strongest stubborn streak I have ever seen!! That being said, I woudn't want her any other way because I really believe this will help her in life. But it can certainly make for some trying times.

We have taken her to Disney several times over the years starting at the age of 1. She is now quite the little traveler and loves pulling her own suitcase through the airport.

These are some ideas that worked for us that maybe you might consider.

1. Try to give her as much "freedom" as possible. If you are in a location where it is possible for her to get out of the stroller and walk, let her. Even if it takes you longer to get places. I even recommend those "leash" things. I know some people despise them, but for my youngest she would just dart away. I didn't want to risk losing her. We did not harness her, we just had her hold the loop at one end and we took turns walking with her. The older kids actually loved it because they were helping out and she thought she was a big girl walking. You could start this at home at the mall or something before you go so she is used to it.

2. Try to stick to her regular schedule as much as possible. Even if she has to miss naptime, make sure her bedtime is the same, etc.. Or make sure she gets her nap if she really needs it.

3. Constantly keep snacks and drinks on hand. Even if she isn't asking for something, keep loading her up on healthy things. This really does help avert some meltdowns. I still do this with my older ones at Disney too. They get so caught up in what we're doing that they forget they are hungry or thirsty.

4. Not sure where you plan on staying, but I would really recommend a suite type of accomodation. This way you could put her in a separate room, she can unwind or have her meltdown if she needs too and the rest of you are not in the same room. I think this also helps alleviate stress for everyone. Trying to get 5 people to sleep in one room with a toddler is not fun.

These are just a few things that worked for us. Every family is different and has different needs so they may not work for you.

I guess I would say still go...because life moves at warp speed and if we wait for the perfect time to do things with our kids/families, the time will never be perfect. By the time the perfect day arrives, the opportunity has passed or some crisis pops up. Does that make sense?

Hope this helps give you a few ideas.

Have a wonderful time!!!
HeatherC

Thanks for the ideas. We are staying at VWL in a one bedroom. We felt this would suit us best as DD1 will have a place to quietly nap while the rest of the family can watch tv/play. And the kitchen is a must w/DS7 - he eats a lot! And I built the our itinerary around her nap time because we'll all need a rest too. The snack thing is good too that seems to cool things done a little. My DH is really good at diverting her attention and can get her mind onto something elses whereas I just panic! And she likes that!

Ariel8676 - I don't feel at all like your trying to tell me how to parent. I appreciate the advice. I think you're right she does want more attention from me and I know this. I just get so tired - I need to find some really good vitamins somewhere (hahaha). I will look into this maybe a swim class or something together. Thank you

Wrldpossibility - I agree I told my husband "we all go or we all stay" - I couldn't leave her behind. I'm prepared to spilt up at Disney if we have too. Actually I think my DH will want to take her back to the resort - hes always looking for a nap - lol!!!

Well I must say I feel much better. As the other posters said we still have approx. 6 months till we go - a lot of changes could happen between now and then. Time does fly by - we must make memories while we can! Meanwhile I'll look into some Mommy & me classes so I can spend some special time with her. And the same for DD4. Thanks again all of you!

 

[FourBoysMom]

I just get so tired - I need to find some really good vitamins somewhere (hahaha).

lol, I've discovered sugar free red bull....in addition to the vitamins....

 

[JJ&JSMOM]

Keep in mind that you have to accept the fact that you're probably not going to be able to "open" the parks and "close" the parks. Don't be disappointed. Do what you can when you can. It's better to see and enjoy a few things...than cram everything in just to "get it done" or "see it all"...savor what you can do comfortably!

There were about 3 days in a row where DH and I tag teamed...one stayed in our timeshare with the little ones...the other went off with the older two. After lunch we would switch. The little one's were perfectly content to play in the condo, feed the fish in the pond, play on the playground, sidetrip to WalMart...get that much needed NAP!

Yes, we did take a vacation to be together as a family....but if you need to split up to give the little ones a break....you're better off. After all, what good is family time if everyone's miserable because of a cranky child?

If you have any questions...please....feel free to ask. I'm more than happy to help in anyway that I can....PM me, or post here...

Best wishes!

Trixie

I agree with you - we'll probably need to split up. I keep telling my DH to pick and choose what attractions are important to him (we'll do the same for the kids once they know about our trip) because we won't be able to do as much. We've thought about leaving one park out but we can't decide which one. If the Power Rangers weren't at MGM we probably would save that park for the next time. We can't skip Epcot because we're going to Akershus for dinner and the Coral Reef. I'm even thinking we might need to cancel some adrs except the important ones (i.e. princesses, mickey and stitch) but we'll wait and see on that. Thanks for the support.

 

[emma'smom]

I have a busy little dd- almost 2! She's a wild one! But we love her! Anyway, one hint that we found helped was to plan to spend a lot of time in some of the toddler areas where she can run around without you worrying about her running away- like the area by Splash Mountain, the Winnie the Pooh playground, the Bone Yard (at AK), and Honey I Shrunk the Kids playground. For the first two, I just stand by the entrance to watch her and let her run...and run..and run..and run (you get the idea). For the second two, they are a bit bigger....so I stayed behind her a bit more- but still gave her freedom to move. This is still a tag-team situation, but it means you don't always have to return to the hotel to give her some freedom.

Also, she does wear out more easily and falls asleep in the stroller....so you might get some respite!! It's still worth it, though!

P.S. I've never actually used our "leash", but I take it with us in the bottom of the diaper bag just in case!

 

[kaysmommie]

I know how you feel my DS2 can unreasonable at times especailly before he turned 2. We went to disney in September and it went pretty well surprisingly! He loved the rides and the characters and the monorail was his favorite. We do get out alot though so he is used to going places and doing lots of new things. At first he was not too happy about the hotel. By day2 he decided he loved the Poly beds. They were so comfy. Anyway when we got home that was the end of his crib, he didn't want to sleep there anymore. So we bought him a big boy bed and he's happy. Plan on taking breaks in the afternoon if possible, unless she will sleep in the stroller. Now my DD was perfectly happy going to Disney at age 2, we had and awesome time and went back when she turned 3. Have a great trip and try not to worry, I'm sure you will still be able to have a good time.

 

[Schmeck]

One of us will wait in line with dd9 while the other walks around with son until we are closer to load and ds will get in line. I am going to try to be as laid back as possible during this trip!

That strategy really won't work too well at WDW - most of the queue is inside of the buildings, and getting through a ton of people is very, very difficult. Some people may not even let you pass.

Instead, plan to use fastpass on the attractions that have them. For attractions with height requirements, check out the concept of Child Swap. For attractions without fastpass, plan to bring some small toys to occupy your toddler/pre-schooler. But don't bring bubbles, as they can cause some major problems...

 

[tanyaandallie]

Well, I don't have 3 kiddos but I do have a 20 mos old that is very very high maintenance. I was really really worried about our trip. My 3 year old is high maintenance in her own way but is far less maintenance then her little brother. In the end we had a great trip and all was great. We just made sure we focused on both of the kids and didn't push them too far. We spent the mornings in the parks, went back for naps and then either had dinner or went back to the parks for parades, fireworks, etc.

I bet your little one will have a ton of fun at Disney. We went to DL with my dd when she was 2.5 and she loved it. I think there is so much going on that they just don't have time to be crazy!!
Good luck!!! Try not to stress. I bet you guys are going to have a great trip!

 

[Newcastle]

I think it's really a matter of adjusting your expectations accordingly. When we went with our 2-year-old last spring, she absolutely refused to go on the majority of the rides for the first 5 days of the trip (imagine trying to wait 20 - 30 minutes in line with a child who is crying and trying to squirm away)! I basically spent the majority of the trip walking around the parks with my daughter in the stroller while the rest of the family enjoyed all the rides. At first I was very disappointed but then I realized that it was just nice to be at Disney, away from home, even if I wasn't able to enjoy all aspects of the trip. On the 6th day, we went to a water park and she absolutely loved it. From there, she was game to go on all the rides but by that time it was time for us to leave! The point is that as soon as I accepted that this trip wasn't going to necessarily be like the ones I'd had in the past, I was able to better appreciate being there and actually enjoyed myself in the process!

 

[golden1]

I felt that way to an extent about my now 2.5 year old ds. He was impossible in restaurants and would just run away from me when we were out anywhere. I felt like he was out of control and sometimes wondered if he were really ready for WDW. In the last three months, he has really improved and it has given me hope. He listens much better and will actually sit still for longer than 5 minutes. I think he will be just fine when we leave in a few days.

I am keeping my expectations really low key. I have the frame of mind that as long as I am at WDW, I will be happy. I am trying not to care about DOING but about experiencing and having fun with the kids. As long as I keep my focus there, I ought to be ok.

 

[blessedby3]

I feel your pain!! Our 3rd child is also our strong willed, stubborn, high spirited one. She can wear you out in a second. She has much more stamana than the average adult. Our first two kids are so easy going and quick to obey. I have always dreaded vacations with her because of her behavior and melt downs in public, but there is no way I would leave her behind. We have just resigned ourselves to the fact that this is the way God made our Olivia Grace. Friends keep telling me that she will do something great one day. She has been a few times to Disney and she is 8 now. Still very hard willed and difficult at times, but also one of the great loves of my life. My MIL always says "you wouldnt want her any other way" and I correct her and say "yes, a bit more obedient and a bit less drama". Just go and enjoy your trip and take cues from your little one as to when you need to switch gears or rest. At least you can split up since there are two of you.
Enjoy

 

[Kim1964]

We took our daughters when they were 8 and 2.5. It wasn't a very good trip, at least from my perspective, but hindsight is 20/20 and I realized later that my expectations were unrealistic. Looking back, I wish that I'd:

-Accepted that with such a big age difference between the kids, the best way to see the parks was splitting up and doing age appropriate things with each kid.
-Not resented having to leave the parks midday so DD#2 could take a break. I would have packed some reading material so that when it was my turn to stay in the hotel room with her (we had a standard room at WL), I had something quiet to do.
-Realized that Disney with a little person wasn't likely to include every single attraction that *I* wanted to see. I wish I'd tried harder to see the magic through her eyes.