to change the name or not?

[caryndisneydiva]

just wondering how many people did or didn't? did you do it before you got married? how is that handled on your marriage license?

 

[Amidala516]

We are both taking each other's names and hyphenating them.

 

[hmgolden]

I was so against changing my name for so long, but eventually gave in and did it. I knew when DH said he would change his last name to mine if he had too that it was really important to him, so I changed mine. I made my maiden name my middle name and dropped my original middle name.

As far as I know, you can't change your name until you have your marriage license back after the wedding. It took about 2 weeks to get ours back, and another 2 months for me to actually start the process. It's pretty easy to do, I actually found the hardest things to change were my frequent flyer accounts with JetBlue and American. Most others, other than the DMV and Social Security could be done with a phone call.

 

[caryndisneydiva]

We are both taking each other's names and hyphenating them.

see, that's what i wanted to do, my whole defense for not changing my name has been, "he hasn't offered to change his name..." but i'm not winning here...

 

[lurkyloo]

see, that's what i wanted to do, my whole defense for not changing my name has been, "he hasn't offered to change his name..." but i'm not winning here...

Keep trying! I'm sticking with my name. I like it! And why do I have to be the one to give up my identity? Harrumph!

Also, if you do decide to change it, you can just start using your new last name. Most places - like credit card companies, utilities, stuff like that - don't require legal proof of your name change, and, by law, you can call yourself anything you want without officially changing your name. I have friends who created a combined last name that they use and everyone knows them by - but neither legally changed their name.

 

[caryndisneydiva]

Keep trying! I'm sticking with my name. I like it! And why do I have to be the one to give up my identity? Harrumph!

Also, if you do decide to change it, you can just start using your new last name. Most places - like credit card companies, utilities, stuff like that - don't require legal proof of your name change, and, by law, you can call yourself anything you want without officially changing your name. I have friends who created a combined last name that they use and everyone knows them by - but neither legally changed their name.

this is probably how i'll end up...

 

[WDWAurora]

I changed mine. I had always planned to. You can't do it before you are married and get the license on the official stuff, like driver's license and social security. Your marriage license will in no way reflect a name change.

I dropped my middle and moved maiden to there. I don't in any way view it as giving up my identity. DH didn't care if I did or not, but I see it as a unifying measure for us as a family and I like being "the Smiths" as opposed to more separate names, if that makes sense.

Do what you want, I don't want to try to change your mind, but please don't view it as giving up your identity. You are you, no matter what your last name is. But if you don't want to change it, don't do it. It's not that big of a deal in this day and age to do whatever you want, as evidenced by the examples on this thread.

 

[PrincessBride010103]

I am definately changing my name. DF wouldn't have it any other way. In fact he has been refering to me by his last name since we were 15 lol

 

[helloirishkitty]

I haven't decided yet. I'll be a pharmacist by the time we get married, and my degree will have my maiden name on it, so professionally I'll always be Dr. Maiden Name. I think I will change it, legally, so I'll deal with the degree thing at some point... I never really thought it would be so difficult to decide!

 

[Pomlover2586]

I'm having a hard time with this as well! My first name has a few syllables in it and so does my Maiden name so they two flow together.....DF's last name is one syllable and it just sounds odd with my name. At the same time I feel a married couple should have the same name either hyphenated, combined, whatever. I like my last name better then his.....but he doesn't want to change his.....so I dunno....we'll see.

 

[cryssi]

It took me almost a year to officially change mine. I added my maiden name to my middle, so I have 2 middle names. I didn't want to give up my identity completely... My new last name is way shorter than my maiden, so it's much easier for everyone...lol

 

[audisight]

I'll be taking DF's name once we are married, but it was a choice I made on my own. DF wanted me to do whatever made me feel comfortable.
You have to do what makes you happy. If keeping yout name is important then you should. Talk to your DF and help him understand why you want to keep your name. I'm sure the two of you will be able to find a compromise. Good luck!

 

[MistressOfAllEvil]

I plan on changing my last name. I feel like it's one more thing making us a cohesive couple. And when we do decide to have children, I want us to all have the same last name. And DF is responsible for passing along his family name. Idk, I guess I never thought about not changing it, lol.

on a side note, my mom just called me. She got my invitation and she said that she turned to my stepfather and said, "well, she's having her disney wedding. There isn't a bit of hippie in her."



So, I just spent like 5 minutes trying to convince my mom I had some hippie in me!! LOL.

 

[purplegirl247]

It took me about 3 or 4 months to finally decide to hyphenate. My bachelor's and master's degrees are in my name, and I just didn't feel right giving it up altogether. I go by MyFirstName HisLastName casually, like if we're at an event together, and that's what his family writes on their cards and such. It's really a professional thing.

We aren't planning on having kids, and my last name dies with me, so I wanted to hold onto it for as long as I could! I don't see anything wrong with keeping or not keeping your last name, as long as it's what your happy with. I'm thrilled to be living in a time when it's not really a big deal either way.

 

[Raenstoirm]

I live near DC where a LOT of powerful women reign. A common trend I have noticed is both parties keep their own names. When children come along the boys have dad's name and the girls have mom's. When i first discovered this phenomenon I was a little perturbed, but it is so common place where I live it is "just the way it is" now. My kids will have my DF (fiancé)'s name and it is a good chance I will as well, but I just hate giving up my really easy name (Johnson), for one that always follows with "can you spell that please?" I don't know if I want to go through life spelling my last name constantly.

 

[DisneySweetie]

It is a tradition that girls in my family are never given a middle name. I don't know where it started, but it's that way with all the girls in my family. That way, our maiden name becomes our middle name when we get married. We are not losing or replacing any names, just gaining one. I asked my parents when I was really little why all my friends had middle names and I didn't. They explained it to me the best they could way back then. So I guess I've had 20 years to get used to the idea. It's still a little tough, but I am kind of excited to actually have a middle name. No more getting stuff that says Aaryn NMI (no middle initial). Even my college ID came that way. Finally, I get to fill in the middle initial portion on all those forms. Hahaha!

I actually think I'm going to carry this tradition on with our children. If we have any girls, they will not have middle names.

 

[Starshine]

I also took my maiden name as my middle name. For the most part I go by the full version of all three names, but for Paypal and several of my credit cards I never bothered to change it over (yeah I'm that lazy ). Since my driver's license has all three listed I've never had any trouble still using my maiden name cards.

 

[caryndisneydiva]

I live near DC where a LOT of powerful women reign. A common trend I have noticed is both parties keep their own names. When children come along the boys have dad's name and the girls have mom's. When i first discovered this phenomenon I was a little perturbed, but it is so common place where I live it is "just the way it is" now. My kids will have my DF (fiancé)'s name and it is a good chance I will as well, but I just hate giving up my really easy name (Johnson), for one that always follows with "can you spell that please?" I don't know if I want to go through life spelling my last name constantly.

gosh i miss the northeast and liberal ways (originally from nj). i'm in tx now, i think that if i did this they'd shoot me...though it sounds PERFECT...now i just need to find a way to sell this one to df...thanks for the info, you made my day

 

[mla1977]

My mom switched her maiden name to her middle name and dropped her middle name. She has been married and divorced a few times since then (#4 is sticking though). She always kept my father's name and when she remarried she used that as her middle name, dropping her maiden name. Now she is: Firstname mylastname hislastname.

I don't know what I would do. I am a lawyer and my degree is in my name. I don't have a license yet (I don't get along with the bar exam), and I'll probably end up married before I get it. I may keep my name for professional purposes, and use his name other times, but I've got time to figure that out.

Oh yeah, one time I dated a guy whose last name was Coogan. I wouldn't have taken that name. Could you imagine: Megan Coogan, blech!

DBF has a much nicer name, but it is not my beautiful Italian last name.

 

[allisonswonderland]

I am in southern Illinois - so not really a liberal way - though I did go to college in Washington DC - I am a hyphenator hahaha. At first he was not so sure, now he does not care at all. His parents are mad, in fact last month out of the blue, his father informed me that it was crap!

It really is not his business - I say whatever you are comfortable with. I was 32 when I got married and felt like I had been my name for too long to change it, plus I think it makes the transition easier- at some point maybe I will get sick of it, but my initials are AA so and now i am ALAB hahahah