to bring her or not to bring her that is the question

[guangs]

I arrive at POR on 9/30 for a 6 night stay. I will be traveling with my daughter (6), my nephew (9), my mother, and my mother in law. The question is.... should I bring my 19 month old along? We have been through a lot with her. She has been in and out of the hospital up until a couple of months ago. Now she is in pretty much perfect health, but has a very weak gag reflux (if you know what I mean). I really don't feel that she's ready for disney, but a part of me wants to bring her. I know there are a couple of things she would enjoy, but most of it would probably scare her. My husband is not coming along and has the week off from work. Do I bring her? Do I leave her with daddy? I have only left her over night twice and I am a very stressed out stay at home mom. Any advice is appreciated!!!

 

[bjakmom]

Sounds like you need a break ! I love taking the little ones (took DGrD at 5 mos and again next month at 2) - it is a lot of fun, but really changes the dynamics of 'touring'. At that age you really have to follow their lead and take things much slower, including naps, meals, changes, etc. We have been laughing that DGrD is suddenly calling everything "scary" - we realize there are a lot of rides and shows that may be too overwhelming for her this trip. Like you, we will have several adult women along to care for her, so it would be doable if you decide to. On the other hand, I have loved taking trips with only one of my kids at a time over the years - they love the special one-on-one time and you could really spend some quality time with your 6 yo DD and do all of her favorite things. It's a tough decision that only you can make - but if you feel you need a break from the little one after all you've been through, take it and ENJOY !! - (she's still young enough that she won't remember being left behind)

 

[guangs]

Sounds like you need a break ! I love taking the little ones (took DGrD at 5 mos and again next month at 2) - it is a lot of fun, but really changes the dynamics of 'touring'. At that age you really have to follow their lead and take things much slower, including naps, meals, changes, etc. We have been laughing that DGrD is suddenly calling everything "scary" - we realize there are a lot of rides and shows that may be too overwhelming for her this trip. Like you, we will have several adult women along to care for her, so it would be doable if you decide to. On the other hand, I have loved taking trips with only one of my kids at a time over the years - they love the special one-on-one time and you could really spend some quality time with your 6 yo DD and do all of her favorite things. It's a tough decision that only you can make - but if you feel you need a break from the little one after all you've been through, take it and ENJOY !! - (she's still young enough that she won't remember being left behind)

Thank you so much for your help. My 6 year old dd would love some "quality time". One day it seems like a no brainer not to bring my toddler, but the next day I can't imagine leaving her. As of now....I am not bringing her. I think my oldest and I could use a much deserved break. Maybe I will come back refreshed! I think I just need to relax and realize she won't forget me!

 

[scrappinmom]

As much as I know I would too feel the pang of extreme guilt....I say leave her with Daddy....I left my 8 month old dd (now 5) with her daddy while I took my 6 year old (now 11) on a 5 day trip to Houston...The plane ride was AWFUL - I was balling like a baby, I thought i was the worst mom in the world...WHO on earth choses one child over another......But you know what? my dd & I had the time of our lives! She THANKED me for spending so much time with her, she STILL talks about it,,,& you know what else? Daddy got to know his little girl a whole lot better. I think it's an awesome idea

I also think when she's older an all girls trip to the world may be in order!!!! (that's what I'm doing in October with my 11 yr old and my "baby" who is turning 6 while we're there)


ENJOY Yourself and your 6 year old!!!!

 

[Suzanne74]

Sounds to me like you already made your choice but want some reassurance you are not a bad mommy by leaving her. I know there are some parents out there that NEVER leave their kids sides, whether it be vacation, weekend getaways, even a night out on the town, heck even a matinee - but I think it is very healthy and nurturing to not be attached to the hip all the time.


I don't think her age is too young for Disney BUT, I would say leave her at home. I know you would miss her but your 6 yr old can bond with you that week in WDW and daddy and toddler can bond at home. I think it will be a positive experience for everyone and it is rare that people have this option. Next trip - all 4 of you can go as a family when she is ready. Anyway, why should DH have a week all to himself

 

[guangs]

I love the last comment. I guess you are right. I am looking for reassurance that I'm not a bad mommy. I am one of those mothers that rarely ever leaves her kids and since my baby has been sick 3 quarters of her life I am over protective. My husband is great with her and I am lucky to have the option to leave her. I think just talking about it makes me feel better. I want to be able to look forward to our "magical" trip, but I feel more like I'm dreading it. I'm sure I will shed a few tears, but I need to feel closer to my oldest dd.

 

[guangs]

As much as I know I would too feel the pang of extreme guilt....I say leave her with Daddy....I left my 8 month old dd (now 5) with her daddy while I took my 6 year old (now 11) on a 5 day trip to Houston...The plane ride was AWFUL - I was balling like a baby, I thought i was the worst mom in the world...WHO on earth choses one child over another......But you know what? my dd & I had the time of our lives! She THANKED me for spending so much time with her, she STILL talks about it,,,& you know what else? Daddy got to know his little girl a whole lot better. I think it's an awesome idea

I also think when she's older an all girls trip to the world may be in order!!!! (that's what I'm doing in October with my 11 yr old and my "baby" who is turning 6 while we're there)


ENJOY Yourself and your 6 year old!!!!

We will definately be bringing her when she gets older! I guess if last minute I panick I can always bring her. She's at that age where she won't need tickets. My father is even offering me money not to bring her. He thinks I need a vacation! =)

 

[Nancyg56]

Perhaps both you and your 6 year old can use a break. It is tough for the whole family when any member is sick, but when a baby has health issues, the stress level is increased, and youngsters sometimes need added attention when it is over. Your baby is well now, so maybe it is time to let Dad care for the baby, and you can relax and enjoy your little one. They are so selfless when a siblig is sick, but both of you may need to get away for some R&R in order to recharge.

You have to do what is best for you, but is family members have noticed that you need rest, it may be a good idea to consider their suggestion.

 

[minkydog]

Perhaps both you and your 6 year old can use a break. It is tough for the whole family when any member is sick, but when a baby has health issues, the stress level is increased, and youngsters sometimes need added attention when it is over. Your baby is well now, so maybe it is time to let Dad care for the baby, and you can relax and enjoy your little one. They are so selfless when a siblig is sick, but both of you may need to get away for some R&R in order to recharge.

You have to do what is best for you, but is family members have noticed that you need rest, it may be a good idea to consider their suggestion.

Everything she said. You are not a bad mommy for wanting some time apart. I am the mom of a special needs child and i totally understand the meaning of stressed out. The first time we left Christian behind on a Disney trip, i felt bad about it. But it was so much easier without him (& his issues!) It allowed me to reconnect with my older kids, who desperately needed some Mom Time themselves.

Take your 6yo and have a great time. Daddy will be fine with the 19month old. disney will always be there.

 

[tlbwriter]

If she's at all medically fragile, I'd let her stay safe at home. There's lots of new and exciting germs at WDW!

 

[guangs]

If she's at all medically fragile, I'd let her stay safe at home. There's lots of new and exciting germs at WDW!

That is a good point! She gets sick easily due to one of her kidney's not functioning properly. Put it this way...on a good day she vomits twice. I guess I'm just feeling guilty about going at all, but I can't wait to reconnect with my 6 year old (kalli). She has been such a big help. In fact I know taking care of chloe (my 18 month old) would be much more difficult without Kalli. I'm gonna do it. I'm leaving her with daddy. She will be FINE! I'll just keep telling myself that and jump on that plane and have fun with my Kalli. I'm not sure she'll know how to act with all of my attention. I can't wait! Thank you for your comments. It's amazing how much a little reassurance even from strangers can make me feel so much better!

 

[guangs]

minkydog

I know there are millions of other mothers out there with "special needs" children, but sometimes I feel alone. I am very stressed out, but try to do the best I can for everyone. Sometimes it feels like the stress is just never going to end. I can't wait to be able to sleep at night at disney! I just hope a hurricane doesn't show up then!

 

[Madi100]

I'm actually really surprised that all of the responses have been in favor of leaving her. People ask your question every so often, and you get answers all over the board. We are taking our fourth trip in December, and this will be the first trip for all four of us alone. The first trip we did just my DH and I. Older DD was 2 at the time, and she got to stay home with Grandma and Grandpa. Second trip we took older DD and left younger one home. Third trip we brought everyone including Grandma and Grandpa to help babysit. This time it's just the four of us.

Neither of my kids remember being left behind. We enjoyed our vacations, and we don't remember feelings of guilt, just wonderful memories that were made. My older daguther was in the hospital for seven weeks when she was born. I understand what it is like to need a vacation. You need one. Enjoy the time with your other DD.

 

[guangs]

I'm actually really surprised that all of the responses have been in favor of leaving her. People ask your question every so often, and you get answers all over the board. We are taking our fourth trip in December, and this will be the first trip for all four of us alone. The first trip we did just my DH and I. Older DD was 2 at the time, and she got to stay home with Grandma and Grandpa. Second trip we took older DD and left younger one home. Third trip we brought everyone including Grandma and Grandpa to help babysit. This time it's just the four of us.

Neither of my kids remember being left behind. We enjoyed our vacations, and we don't remember feelings of guilt, just wonderful memories that were made. My older daguther was in the hospital for seven weeks when she was born. I understand what it is like to need a vacation. You need one. Enjoy the time with your other DD.

Thank you for your comments! I will enjoy my time with dd! I'm feeling better and better as the hours go by!

 

[Nancyg56]

Thank you for your comments! I will enjoy my time with dd! I'm feeling better and better as the hours go by!

I am so glad that you decided to go with your DD. It is never easy to "leave one behind", but that is not usually the reality. The child the stays with a loved one at home, with Daddy, at Grammas,etc. enjoys specialattention that may not happen if the entire family was together at the time. Enjoy your vacationwith your daughter, and recharge, while the baby enjoys being pampered and"spoiled" at home. Have fun!!!

 

[Tracey1974]

You and your daughter will have a great time. I was 9 my first time at Disney and I still remember everything- this will be a good trip for her and good bonding time with her grandmothers.

BTW- we are arriving at POR that day as well! If you see a stressed out Mommy with a squirmy 3 month old, a tired from driving hubby and an overexcited to be at Disney 21 year old at check-in, that will be me, hubby and Sis!

 

[guangs]

You and your daughter will have a great time. I was 9 my first time at Disney and I still remember everything- this will be a good trip for her and good bonding time with her grandmothers.

BTW- we are arriving at POR that day as well! If you see a stressed out Mommy with a squirmy 3 month old, a tired from driving hubby and an overexcited to be at Disney 21 year old at check-in, that will be me, hubby and Sis!

Your baby is sooo cute! Hope your trip is magical. I'm sure I will see you there. We are in the bayou section cuz there are 5 of us. I'll be the not so stressed mommy with a 6 and 9 year old. (well I say that now, but I know I will miss my 19 month old) Best of luck for your drive!

 

[Tracey1974]

Thank you!

Send the baby a postcard each day you are there of one of the characters and have them sign it for her (or you can always do it- shhhh...) that may be an idea for her to pass the time while you are away?

 

[guangs]

that's a good idea....i'm not sure she would understand, but i will probably give it a try!

 

[lulugirl]

I think leaving the 19 month old at home is a good idea, she will be safe and happy w/ her Daddy. You will have a blast w/ older Dd!
Enjoy!