tlhbdm-going back and in double digits

[MomsOf2boys]

That does not sound like a wonderful time at all... when people start yelling and such it makes me want to crawl in a hole or something...

 

[tlhbdm]

That does not sound like a wonderful time at all... when people start yelling and such it makes me want to crawl in a hole or something...

That is exactly what I felt like and I felt so bad for DH's step-mom.

 

[Girldreamer02]

That does not sound like a fun weekend at all. Blah! I know all about the sleeping in. I've been doing it forever. Hahah. I heart sleeping in! I hate it though b/c I used to sleep till two or three and sometimes I still do, but anyways I used to so now my parents still say well you sleep till two, which isn't always true. Not to mention I don't live with them anymore so what does it matter. I hate it when they just assume I still do it. It aggravates the life outta me. In laws can be aggravating too as you and I both experienced this weekend. Unfortunately I think yours was worse than mine. Sorry. I said I didn't want kids at my wedding (you know like five yr olds and younger that run around like little monkeys and the ones that scream and cry) and not to mention its a formal wedding and the reception place is way to expensive to be paying for these kids especially when over half of them were going to be on mil's side.(she LOVES kids and does the nursery at church on sundays) So she is running down my list of people last night asking about the "kids" that were on the list. These are kids that are 12 and up and aren't going to cause issues where as the little kids I know that she wanted to invite would. I've met the kids and they are by no means angels. I was about to jump through the phone and strangle her. These were kids I babysat and there were only a hand full on the list. Maybe 7 tops. She just wanted to "make sure" I knew they were on there. Well I made the list lady so don't you think I know they are on there?! Sorry, but she is ticking me off and I needed to vent. Lol. Like I said by no means was it as bad as your weekend, but she really was annoying me. They had more people on their list anyway and she was the one that was whining that she wanted to keep it at 200...guess what? We are sending out almost 300 invites and more than half of that is coming from THEIR side. Whos paying for that? NOT ME and not my parents either! Best believe you know what will hit the fan if that should come up. On a good note...you get to plan disney and I called the wedding coordinator at my reception venue and she is such a dream to work with...so friendly and polite! I love her to pieces!

 

[tlhbdm]

That does not sound like a fun weekend at all. Blah! I know all about the sleeping in. I've been doing it forever. Hahah. I heart sleeping in! I hate it though b/c I used to sleep till two or three and sometimes I still do, but anyways I used to so now my parents still say well you sleep till two, which isn't always true. Not to mention I don't live with them anymore so what does it matter. I hate it when they just assume I still do it. It aggravates the life outta me. In laws can be aggravating too as you and I both experienced this weekend. Unfortunately I think yours was worse than mine. Sorry. I said I didn't want kids at my wedding (you know like five yr olds and younger that run around like little monkeys and the ones that scream and cry) and not to mention its a formal wedding and the reception place is way to expensive to be paying for these kids especially when over half of them were going to be on mil's side.(she LOVES kids and does the nursery at church on sundays) So she is running down my list of people last night asking about the "kids" that were on the list. These are kids that are 12 and up and aren't going to cause issues where as the little kids I know that she wanted to invite would. I've met the kids and they are by no means angels. I was about to jump through the phone and strangle her. These were kids I babysat and there were only a hand full on the list. Maybe 7 tops. She just wanted to "make sure" I knew they were on there. Well I made the list lady so don't you think I know they are on there?! Sorry, but she is ticking me off and I needed to vent. Lol. Like I said by no means was it as bad as your weekend, but she really was annoying me. They had more people on their list anyway and she was the one that was whining that she wanted to keep it at 200...guess what? We are sending out almost 300 invites and more than half of that is coming from THEIR side. Whos paying for that? NOT ME and not my parents either! Best believe you know what will hit the fan if that should come up. On a good note...you get to plan disney and I called the wedding coordinator at my reception venue and she is such a dream to work with...so friendly and polite! I love her to pieces!

What is it about in-laws. Honestly let us live our lives by ourselves, we don't HAVE to come down to their house but we did it to be nice and take his sister down and then they treated us like crap!!!!!! Oh and get this DH's dad called us at 7:30 this morning wondering if we had seen some stuffed animal when we went through everything, ummmm...no then he had the nerve to tell us that they were mad because we went home Saturday night and went out to dinner when they had bought stuff to make us dinner(they didn't tell us they had stuff for dinner or we would have stayed until after dinner). I'm sorry about your mother-in-law that is so aggravating when people want to invite people they want when you're the one paying for it in the first place. I have some good mother-in-law stories I should share sometime, but who knows maybe she is on here. Whatever she still has done some MEAN stuff to me. My parents have always taken DH in and taken him out to dinner taken him on vacation and everything but me I never get invited to family functions on his side. One thing in particular that really got me mad was they went out for DH's mom's birthday when I was out of town. They went out when they did just because I wasn't in town. Also his mom didn't invite me to her wedding four years ago (DH and I had been dating for about a year and half by then). I had been around longer than his mom's husband had been around. Again sorry to vent but IN-LAWS!!!

 

[Girldreamer02]

exactly. Thank God for caller id thats all I have to say! Seriously she isn't a bad lady, but when she gets something in her head she gets really annoying to the point where I want to slap her and she is used to getting her way. I feel like being the queen of hearts from alice in wonder land. ITS MY WAY!!! Or whatever she says...something about having it her way. Its been a while since I've seen it. She has called me twice now today b/c she wants to make a reservation for the rehearsal dinner and wants to know who of my people is coming? How in the heck do I know?! Not to mention why are you booking a rehearsal dinner reservation on april 28th when the dinner isn't until july 18th...we don't live in that huge of a town that all places would be booked that far in advance. I mean I guess you need to for a large number, but I still think it is way to early so I simply refuse to pick up the phone. I always make df call her back and say I was busy, which I was. The first time she called I was talking to my sister and the second time I was in the shower so its not a total lie.

 

[KristinAnne]

Ah! In-laws. DH and I have been married for just over 10 months, and it was a year ago, literally to the day, that all heck (I'm not using my potty mouth!) broke loose with DMIL and the rest of his family. We closed on a house and got married all within 5 weeks. Between all of that plus DMIL stressing me out to the MAX because her name wasn't on our wedding invitations, I ended up super sick and spent an afternoon in the ER.

 

[tlhbdm]

exactly. Thank God for caller id thats all I have to say! Seriously she isn't a bad lady, but when she gets something in her head she gets really annoying to the point where I want to slap her and she is used to getting her way. I feel like being the queen of hearts from alice in wonder land. ITS MY WAY!!! Or whatever she says...something about having it her way. Its been a while since I've seen it. She has called me twice now today b/c she wants to make a reservation for the rehearsal dinner and wants to know who of my people is coming? How in the heck do I know?! Not to mention why are you booking a rehearsal dinner reservation on april 28th when the dinner isn't until july 18th...we don't live in that huge of a town that all places would be booked that far in advance. I mean I guess you need to for a large number, but I still think it is way to early so I simply refuse to pick up the phone. I always make df call her back and say I was busy, which I was. The first time she called I was talking to my sister and the second time I was in the shower so its not a total lie.

Don't even get me started on the rehearsal dinner. In a nutshell DH's parents refused to pay for it because DH and I didn't want to go where THEY wanted to go and the places that they wanted to go were nasty and looked like a place where a kid would have a birthday party so MY grandma ended up paying for it as a wedding present.

Ah! In-laws. DH and I have been married for just over 10 months, and it was a year ago, literally to the day, that all heck (I'm not using my potty mouth!) broke loose with DMIL and the rest of his family. We closed on a house and got married all within 5 weeks. Between all of that plus DMIL stressing me out to the MAX because her name wasn't on our wedding invitations, I ended up super sick and spent an afternoon in the ER.

Why would she be on the invitation it's the brides parents that are on it. That comment was kind of rude but come on you're the mom of the groom do you not know that a wedding is hosted by the bride's parents.

 

[Girldreamer02]

Both our parents are on our invites. It says Mr and mrs (girldreamers last name haha) request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter to Matt....... son of (girldreamers soon to be last name) and has the name of the parents. So We had both. This way no one can *****. But your right...she didn't need to be on there. That sounds horrible. I told my mom that I am going to end up in the Er too from a nervous break down or stress overload. Thats why I'm glad we travel for work...we are away from his rents (and like i said they aren't always horrible) but his mom can be very overwhelming. As soon as I moved in with df..my migranes cut down by about half and I actually stopped feeling like there were rocks sitting on my chest. Meaning living at home and near mil was killing me pretty much. I think drinking more water and eating more healthy is helping too of course. Sorry to hear about them not paying...his mom is the opposite wants to pay for everything because they have the money. My family dosen't have as much as his so I don't let his mom pay for a lot that way I keep it balanced b/c I can tell it bothers my mom when his mom starts to pay for to much. It like makes her feel like she isn't good enough or something and I don't want her to think that b/c I don't think any less of my parents for not having as much money. They are great parents and thats all that matters in my book.

 

[tlhbdm]

i deleted the first two posts for safety reasons. Sorry guys I don't want anything to happen to me or my family.

 

[MomsOf2boys]

You know I am sitting here listening very closely. I am a mother of sons. I am determined to never treat anyone that makes my boys happy like that. Actually, I have never treated anyone like that so i know it is not an issue but geeez... that is crazy and you know it goes on all the time.

My oldest DS16 has been dating a girl for the past year and a half. That is way too long for 16 year olds. She comes from a broken family who are divorced with new siblings on both sides. She is a cutter. Not so much now, because my son she says. (I worked in a mental hospital for 3 years so you know this brings a great deal of concern for me because she needs to talk to a professional... I worry about this not being taken seriously). She does poorly in school and her parental unit that has custody hates my son. They stifle her creativity..she wants to draw for Disney. She is very winey and needy. My son is not allowed to call her or see her except when she is on her weekend visits with the 2nd parent. I hate that for them. I also know she speaks of wanting out and wanting to be married to him. Which worries me about her baby thoughts....They read her diary, go through her things, lock her in her room.

But my son knows nothing of my concern. She knows nothing of them either. They treat each other very well and she is a troubled but darling girl. I could have however chosen 5 or 6 girls that would be better suited to who he is but alas.. he did not ask me to help him in that search. She tells everyone that I love her more than her stepmom does. She calls me her fairygodmother. And if he one day he says he is going to marry her... then I will embrace her and then slowly make sure she gets the needed love and support to become healthy.

Much of this decision has been from hearing horror stories like yours. Perhaps mothers will stop and think. Sorry for stealing your thread. I guess I just needed to vent as it is hard to be a parent sometimes.

 

[Girldreamer02]

You know I am sitting here listening very closely. I am a mother of sons. I am determined to never treat anyone that makes my boys happy like that. Actually, I have never treated anyone like that so i know it is not an issue but geeez... that is crazy and you know it goes on all the time.

My oldest DS16 has been dating a girl for the past year and a half. That is way too long for 16 year olds. She comes from a broken family who are divorced with new siblings on both sides. She is a cutter. Not so much now, because my son she says. (I worked in a mental hospital for 3 years so you know this brings a great deal of concern for me because she needs to talk to a professional... I worry about this not being taken seriously). She does poorly in school and her parental unit that has custody hates my son. They stifle her creativity..she wants to draw for Disney. She is very winey and needy. My son is not allowed to call her or see her except when she is on her weekend visits with the 2nd parent. I hate that for them. I also know she speaks of wanting out and wanting to be married to him. Which worries me about her baby thoughts....They read her diary, go through her things, lock her in her room.

But my son knows nothing of my concern. She knows nothing of them either. They treat each other very well and she is a troubled but darling girl. I could have however chosen 5 or 6 girls that would be better suited to who he is but alas.. he did not ask me to help him in that search. She tells everyone that I love her more than her stepmom does. She calls me her fairygodmother. And if he one day he says he is going to marry her... then I will embrace her and then slowly make sure she gets the needed love and support to become healthy.

Much of this decision has been from hearing horror stories like yours. Perhaps mothers will stop and think. Sorry for stealing your thread. I guess I just needed to vent as it is hard to be a parent sometimes.

Wow...that situation sounds crazy. Your son is 16 so I wouldn't worry about him staying with her forever. I remember being "in love" at 16. I'm now 24 and going to marry my prince charming in a little over two months. I can tell you without a doubt that I was not in love at 16. I am in love now! My sister also dated a guy for about two yrs at that age. Its amazing that you can stay together that long at such a young age with all the drama that goes on...trust me I know there was quite a bit between my sister and this guy. Its very cliche, but this to shall pass. All you can do is be supportive. for the time being, which is already sounds like you are.

 

[MomsOf2boys]

Wow...that situation sounds crazy. Your son is 16 so I wouldn't worry about him staying with her forever. I remember being "in love" at 16. I'm now 24 and going to marry my prince charming in a little over two months. I can tell you without a doubt that I was not in love at 16. I am in love now! My sister also dated a guy for about two yrs at that age. Its amazing that you can stay together that long at such a young age with all the drama that goes on...trust me I know there was quite a bit between my sister and this guy. Its very cliche, but this to shall pass. All you can do is be supportive. for the time being, which is already sounds like you are.

I do hope he ends up dating others... not that I want his heart broken or hers even by a break up. It just seems like they are missing so much because they are a couple. But I do wonder how they can be so young and stay together so long and they don't fight. They do cherish each other and I love that about them. They have defineatly learned how to treat a bf/gf so that is a great thing in itself. But you never know.. I have heard of high school sweethearts marrying etc. And if they cross that line and she ends up ...........ARGHHHHH........... I don't even want to breath that word. Anyway, I will hope that they each get what is best for them in life... and let it go because it isn't my life. Hard thing to do by the way. Thank you for your words... I will say all day, This too shall pass.

 

[tlhbdm]

I do hope he ends up dating others... not that I want his heart broken or hers even by a break up. It just seems like they are missing so much because they are a couple. But I do wonder how they can be so young and stay together so long and they don't fight. They do cherish each other and I love that about them. They have defineatly learned how to treat a bf/gf so that is a great thing in itself. But you never know.. I have heard of high school sweethearts marrying etc. And if they cross that line and she ends up ...........ARGHHHHH........... I don't even want to breath that word. Anyway, I will hope that they each get what is best for them in life... and let it go because it isn't my life. Hard thing to do by the way. Thank you for your words... I will say all day, This too shall pass.

I don't want to freak you out and I know this doesn't happen very often but DH and I dated all through high school. We started dating my freshman year but I hope the very best for your son.

 

[Girldreamer02]

I don't want to freak you out and I know this doesn't happen very often but DH and I dated all through high school. We started dating my freshman year but I hope the very best for your son.

Like you said it does not happen very often. Lucky for you two you were one of the ones that made it through. More often than not they don't. I've seen more breakups than couples come out of high school.

 

[tlhbdm]

I need your help with this decision. DH and I are trying to decide(ok I am trying to decide) which picture we want to get in a 16x20. Here are my options(warning lots of options):

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

 

[tlhbdm]

26

27

 

[KristinAnne]

I like #9 for a 16x20. I think it's nice because it's a long shot so you can see your dress, but not so long that you look too far away. They are all very pretty.

 

[MomsOf2boys]

I need your help with this decision. DH and I are trying to decide(ok I am trying to decide :mrgreen: ) which picture we want to get in a 16x20. I couldn't decide whether to post this in my TR or in my LJ so I am going to post it in both. Here are my options(warning lots of options):

8

10

18

20

Not sure if I did this right but my picks are 8, 10, 18, and 20.
I love 20 because it shows the back of your dress and it looks like you are sneaking out.
8 & 10 is close enough to see your beautiful face and the excitement of the day.
18 is a very nice classic marriage pic.

So there you have it.

 

[MomsOf2boys]

I don't want to freak you out and I know this doesn't happen very often but DH and I dated all through high school. We started dating my freshman year but I hope the very best for your son.

In all honesty, isn't that the type of love we all dreamed of? Our high school sweetheart? I'll take what is dished out to me and make it the best.

 

[Girldreamer02]

I can't decide. Lol. I am a horrible decision maker. If you narrow them down to like one or two then ask again maybe I'll be able to give some input then.