TKers: Six threads under and still killin' time....

[D&DDisney]

I had DS to the new shrink today. The news was not good. He's as bad as I'd feared, and then some. Going to try new meds and see if we can help the total lack of impulse control. Sadly, the worst problems can't be helped with meds. If he makes it through middle school with no suspensions, it will be a miracle, and if he gets through HS without being arrested, I'll be very pleasantly surprised. I wish I could just love him through it, but there's not enough love in the world to help someone as broken as he is. It just breaks my heart to see him so hurt and angry. Kinda makes you wonder what happened in his early life.

Well, tomorrow the kids go back to school. Not that I'm happy about it or anything...

I think its what DIDN'T happen to these poor little guys. I don't know about your son, but mine suffered severe neglect in that orphanage. Those pathways in his brain never developed properly and that = one maladjusted kid.
Just hang on tight and we'll try to get these guys through middle school and into adulthood - I HOPE!!
So sad to think of how many other little babies are out there right now not being loved properly. Wish I could get them all.

 

[lilmissdisney216]

Okay so its official, I LOVE disney tunes radio!!!! Gives me my Disney fix.

 

[D&DDisney]

Duh...Kitty I saw your post and found out who the author is. Never mind.

 

[LivinInTheCastle]

hello all! Thank you all so much for all the kind words on Walter, and you are all right he DOES manage to keep gettng cuter,

Consider him kissed from all his Tk aunties!

D&D and Wendy -- so very sorry for the trouble you are having with your kids. A woman at work is always telling me how important it is (if nothing else) to love, love, love your child and hearing your stories really makes that hit home for me. Walter is so lucky to have so many people that truly care about him, many of whom he has yet to meet. So we are thinking of you both and sending love your way from both of us!

 

[mking624]

Wendy and D&D - I'm so very sorry for the struggles you're having with your sons. It breaks my heart and really makes me feel even more strongly than I already do on the importance of adoption...these children need people in their lives who will give them the homes they need and deserve!

Mere - My favorite is subsonicradio.com...mega Disney fix for me!

Speaking of Disney fix, DH found Mickey shaped chicken patties today and got them for me. hehehe I'm such a dork.

 

[Sukie]

Greetings to all of you. Doing my once a month post. LOL. I think I missed last months . Looks like a lot excitement going on around here. I did my best trying to keep up. Stef keeps me posted . Keeping everyone in my thoughts and prayers.



Tk+2

lilmissdisney216~ "21" I have a dress older than you .

mking624~ Don't you wish you could bottle there energy?



I am sure I will check in again.

 

[whgrn]

I think its what DIDN'T happen to these poor little guys. I don't know about your son, but mine suffered severe neglect in that orphanage. Those pathways in his brain never developed properly and that = one maladjusted kid.
Just hang on tight and we'll try to get these guys through middle school and into adulthood - I HOPE!!
So sad to think of how many other little babies are out there right now not being loved properly. Wish I could get them all.

All I know is that when we first "met" DS (he was about a year), he was a chubby, bright eyed, smiling, happy little guy. But the little boy we picked up 5 months later was sad, withdrawn, and empty-eyed. He cried without making a sound. It just broke my heart. He has never been a happy child, but as he's grown older, he's gotten more and more miserable. Unfortunately, he's made everyone around him miserable too. Even more unfortunately, he gets PLEASURE out of spreading that misery around! There isn't enough love in the world to heal that kind of damage. I always believed that if you loved your kids enough, that was really what they needed. I know now that it just isn't enough.

I think so much has to do with their inborn personality. Some kids are just natural survivors. DD14 is one of them. She was the darling of her orphanage. The day she left, the nurses came in on their day off to say goodbye, and they cried to see her go. When we went back a year later to get DS, we visited her orphanage, and brought pictures and a video of DD. The director cried her eyes out thanking us, and said she really thought DD wouldn't have lived another year if she hadn't been adopted, and there she was happy, healthy and thriving. She's made the most of what she has, and not let what she doesn't have hold her back. DS is just the opposite. He focuses on the negative, no matter how good things are. He just can't see the positives in life. It breaks my heart to see him so unhappy, but I can't make him happy, no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do or say or give him. I think you have to decide to be happy, and make your own happiness, but some people just lack the ability to do that.

OK, enough of this depressing talk. It was another beautiful, sunny, warm day. My kids are going back to school tomorrow. We got puppies in Farmville. It doesn't get much better than that, right?

 

[JOCAmom]

Evening!

Sukie.....I missed you. I hope all is well with you and DH. You really need to stop in more often.

D&D and whgrn,

I wish I could understand our DS too. I wish I could give you all some answers but all I have is love and understanding.

 

[MagiKitty]

Evening ladies! Sukie it was nice to see you! Don't stay away TOO long, ok? We missed you! How are you doing?

Oh Wendy, I'm sorry that DS is having such a hard time but so happy that he's part of your family. And just love him and DD. The pre-teen years are so hard on everyone, but so much so for a little guy who's had a rough time from the start. Sending you big hugs.

I too would love to adopt. To think, I spent my youth trying to avoid getting pregnant and here I am wondering if it will EVER be the right time. My biological clock isn't just ticking, its clanging! I'd like to have a little one relatively soon. I need to win some big money. Kids are expensive! I guess its jumping the gun to be worried about how to pay for college....

 

[BKMETV]

I too would love to adopt. To think, I spent my youth trying to avoid getting pregnant and here I am wondering if it will EVER be the right time. My biological clock isn't just ticking, its clanging! I'd like to have a little one relatively soon. I need to win some big money. Kids are expensive! I guess its jumping the gun to be worried about how to pay for college....

If you wait until you can afford them you'll never have kids!

 

[JOCAmom]

If you wait until you can afford them you'll never have kids!

You said it, Ev.

All of ours were surprises. And we did worry about how we would afford them. But you just do. You find something to cut, some way to save somewhere else. And you don't even mind. At least we didn't.

 

[D&DDisney]

Mere - My favorite is subsonicradio.com...mega Disney fix for me!

Speaking of Disney fix, DH found Mickey shaped chicken patties today and got them for me. hehehe I'm such a dork.

You are not a dork. I'd ask my DH to do the same.

Greetings to all of you. Doing my once a month post. LOL. I think I missed last months . Looks like a lot excitement going on around here. I did my best trying to keep up. Stef keeps me posted . Keeping everyone in my thoughts and prayers.

Hi Sukie! Miss you around here!!!!

All I know is that when we first "met" DS (he was about a year), he was a chubby, bright eyed, smiling, happy little guy. But the little boy we picked up 5 months later was sad, withdrawn, and empty-eyed. He cried without making a sound. It just broke my heart. He has never been a happy child, but as he's grown older, he's gotten more and more miserable. Unfortunately, he's made everyone around him miserable too. Even more unfortunately, he gets PLEASURE out of spreading that misery around! There isn't enough love in the world to heal that kind of damage. I always believed that if you loved your kids enough, that was really what they needed. I know now that it just isn't enough.


OK, enough of this depressing talk. It was another beautiful, sunny, warm day. My kids are going back to school tomorrow. We got puppies in Farmville. It doesn't get much better than that, right?

Actually, my DS was adorable, chubby and looked very healthy - physically. The neglect I think he had was just no one to love him. No one to answer his cries at night so much so that when we brought him home he rarely if ever cried. Why should he??? Figured no one would come any way. Then one morning we found him in his bed with stuff oozing out his ears. Rushed him to Dr. only to find he had a severe double ear infection. Dr. said it must have hurt pretty bad cuz it burst his ear drum. Poor kid learned not to bother crying so he didn't even cry to tell us he hurt. Just broke my heart.

You're right....it doesn't get any better than puppies, sun, and kids in school.

Evening!
I wish I could understand our DS too. I wish I could give you all some answers but all I have is love and understanding.

Thanks!! Right back at ya.

I too would love to adopt. To think, I spent my youth trying to avoid getting pregnant and here I am wondering if it will EVER be the right time. My biological clock isn't just ticking, its clanging! I'd like to have a little one relatively soon. I need to win some big money. Kids are expensive! I guess its jumping the gun to be worried about how to pay for college....

You never have enough money to have kids so just go for it!!!
You also don't want to put it off too long cuz then you might realize that you have infertility issues and that takes a while to work though - believe you me. The ol' bio clock then ticks like a time bomb.
We would love to see our Kitty become a mama Kitty!!!!

 

[BKMETV]

Can't say my two were surprises it was more of a case of now or never...definitely had the biological clock clanging!

Well it's bed for me...have a good evening.

 

[D&DDisney]

Night Ev!!

 

[JOCAmom]

Speaking of Disney fix, DH found Mickey shaped chicken patties today and got them for me. hehehe I'm such a dork.

How'd I miss this. I would so buy these for the kids. Any myself. Right now, DD6 has an obsession with the Disney fresh fruit snacks that our store sells. They are clear Mickey head shaped containers with grapes, pretzels, dip, raisins, etc. They cost a pretty penny but it is so easy to get her to eat fresh fruit that way.

And Mary, welcome to the dork bench.....you are not alone.

My DS is different. He wasn't adopted. He had 2 parents who loved him very much. But one parent taught him he could do no wrong and rules never applied to him. Indulgence to the extreme. And now he thinks everything is his god-given right. He's stolen more things that I have fingers to count on. Rules aren't for him and neither is work...he deserves everything on a silver platter. And hell hath no fury if he doesn't get what he wants. Life is hard but we go on. Always looking for a new "cure"....always hoping that we do see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[mking624]

I too would love to adopt. To think, I spent my youth trying to avoid getting pregnant and here I am wondering if it will EVER be the right time. My biological clock isn't just ticking, its clanging! I'd like to have a little one relatively soon. I need to win some big money. Kids are expensive! I guess its jumping the gun to be worried about how to pay for college....

I grew up saying I never wanted kids. Then when I got married, I really wanted them, but I found out I have endometriosis. We started trying a year after we got married (I was married at age 19, DH was 20) because with endo, the longer you wait the harder it gets. At age 24, I found out the endo was inside my tubes (as well as everywhere else), which was preventing me from getting pregnant. The doctor got it out, but it came back right away. I was told it was basically impossible for me to conceive. We eventually began the adoption process but suffered an adoption loss which broke our hearts. Then, on June 29, 2008...I found out I was pregnant. My endo put me at a higher risk for miscarriage, but I never had one. Rylan was born February 25, 2009. He's truly my little miracle. Then as an added surprise, I found out I was pregnant again on August 23, 2009...and baby Elowyn is due in 3 weeks. I'm now 29 years old, DH is 30. Financially, unless you're rich, you'll never be ready for kids. It can be a struggle sometimes, but one I'd never trade. Rylan is a big Mickey fan but doesn't know how to say his name...he joyfully says "bee!" and points at him with a big smile on his face. Man, I'll take financial hardship any day just to see that little boy's face light up. I still do want to adopt and can't wait until we're able to. But I just think about how much longer I'd be waiting if I postponed TTC. I don't even want to think about it. Anyway, not trying to pressure you into starting a family...but definitely don't let money be the driving force behind your decision. Everything will work out with that. I'm just sharing my story because as D&D said, if there are any infertility issues (which I wouldn't wish that on anyone), it can definitely take time to work through.

 

[mking624]

How'd I miss this. I would so buy these for the kids. Any myself. Right now, DD6 has an obsession with the Disney fresh fruit snacks that our store sells. They are clear Mickey head shaped containers with grapes, pretzels, dip, raisins, etc. They cost a pretty penny but it is so easy to get her to eat fresh fruit that way.

I remember when those first came out and I rushed to see if they were Mickey shaped. I know they had Mickey shaped ravioli, but I could never find them. I've had Mickey shaped burgers before and those were ok. I think the chicken patties are Tyson...I intend on eating one tomorrow. DH called me from the store and told me about them. I told him to get them...I NEED them!! He laughed at me.

 

[MagiKitty]

good monring ladies! Happy Friday!

the weather has turned...going to be cloudy and misty today. it rained most of the night. Was able to rescue my laundry off the line though! but cooler meaning 50/60s is fine by me. just a sweater and I'm ready to go!

Gosh, you ladies have me in a full on panic about fertility. We're not married and I know some programs prohibit singles from adopting. I have a friend--she's a doctor, he's a lawyer--and they've been trying to adopt for four years. The papers and red tape, which I completely understand, has been so immense! Truth is, if I can get pregnant, that would be the most efficient/less costly route. Tick tock, tick tock.

argh...when did it get so complicated?

 

[JOCAmom]

Good morning! Yep, weather is the same icky cloudy stuff here too. I miss the sun already.

MK, have you talked to BF about all this? How are his feelings on having kids?

As for adoptions, I think sometimes they make it harder for kids to get adopted. I've read about the red tape, paperwork, time, costs. It just seems to prohibitive and I bet that turns a lot of good people off of adopting. I know they have to investigate the potential parent/s but sometimes is all seems couter-productive.

Of course, that's just my opinion from the outside looking in. Maybe someone else can fill in the gaps for me.

 

[MagiKitty]

Morning JO!

BF was really ambivalent about kids in the beginning...but he's come around to having one. I would really prefer two. And then there's the issue of him wanting a son--carry on the last name and all (I won't take his name for professional reasons, too difficult to change my name and credentials amonst other reasons). He's mostly scared of not being able to take care of kids like a more able-bodied man would be able to. And he's even more crazy about money and budgets than I am! I know in truth, you can never be truly prepared and if you really want something, you just have to go for it. But when it comes to a child, you can hardly be so cavalier about it!

Watching my friend go through all the hoops for adoption has been so hard. And its not like its not worth it...but there are so many obstacles it really is so taxing on you financially, emotionally, mentally. I think it also depends on what agency you use, your state, where you adopt from. Ideally, I'd like to adopt an Asian baby, a little girl. China is practically closed in my case based on age, and the Philippines is out because they have these insane requirements---like living with the child in the PHils for two years! I wish I could do that, but what would I do for income? Makes no sense.