tired already by the people helping the needy

[Mickey527]

I had lots of errands to do today. Went to the bank where there was someone outside collecting for the needy and the food banks.
Then to the grocery store where the local radio station was collecting for the food banks. They were passing out cards with what you should buy for them, like frozen turkeys, stuffing, pies, etc... I was only there because the turkeys are $.47 a lb and I wanted a turkey for Thanksgiving. I am cutting back on most of the holiday foods but have to get a turkey.
Then to Walmart where they had the bell ringer for Salvation Army already.
Then to a few other places where either they had a food bank person or someone with a bucket for some chairity or another.
I have given in the past, but things are really tough right now for me too. I am on disability and SS just doesn't give me enough to pay my mortgage and my own bills.
I got lectures from most of these people, not just can you help, but they went on to say how bad these people had it and how can I walk away, etc... I don't feel I should tell my story to anyone, but how can they get away with the way they try to belittle someone just because they didn't open their purse and give till it hurts? I am not buying gifts this year for my sons who are grown, only for my grandson and neice and nephew. Things are just a bit too tight right now so we will cut out gifts this year.
I wanted to go into the grocery store and complain, but I am sure it will be to deaf ears, either the person at the front desk couldn't care less or they have no control over what is said outside their store.
Just think, another 30 more days of this harrassment before Christmas.

 

[nutterbutter2010]

I had lots of errands to do today. Went to the bank where there was someone outside collecting for the needy and the food banks.
Then to the grocery store where the local radio station was collecting for the food banks. They were passing out cards with what you should buy for them, like frozen turkeys, stuffing, pies, etc... I was only there because the turkeys are $.47 a lb and I wanted a turkey for Thanksgiving. I am cutting back on most of the holiday foods but have to get a turkey.
Then to Walmart where they had the bell ringer for Salvation Army already.
Then to a few other places where either they had a food bank person or someone with a bucket for some chairity or another.
I have given in the past, but things are really tough right now for me too. I am on disability and SS just doesn't give me enough to pay my mortgage and my own bills.
I got lectures from most of these people, not just can you help, but they went on to say how bad these people had it and how can I walk away, etc... I don't feel I should tell my story to anyone, but how can they get away with the way they try to belittle someone just because they didn't open their purse and give till it hurts? I am not buying gifts this year for my sons who are grown, only for my grandson and neice and nephew. Things are just a bit too tight right now so we will cut out gifts this year.
I wanted to go into the grocery store and complain, but I am sure it will be to deaf ears, either the person at the front desk couldn't care less or they have no control over what is said outside their store.
Just think, another 30 more days of this harrassment before Christmas.

I understand where you are coming from - every time I go to the foodstore, when I check out, they always ask "Do you want to donate $1, $3 or $5 to the foodbank?" I always tell them that I've already donated food myself, and thats it. I don't think you need to get bent out of shape over it - everyone is hurting right now, not just you. People who never needed a hand out, now do. People who are doing OK that used to donate, just aren't because they are not doing as OK as they were last year. Its ruff out there for everyone.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I feel for you. Personally I never give to this sort of begging because fraud is so easy. Instead, I give food to my Church's food bank or send in to my favorite charities. This way, when someone asks on the street I can tell them "I already gave this week', or "I only give to the Food Bank', and my conscience is clear.

BTW, if you give your time to someone in need that's as much a gift as a monetary donation IMO. So if you're feeling a bit sad about not being able to contribute money you could always try to find a place to volunteer. Lots of places need a hand these days

 

[EthansMom]

Last year, one local charity sent out a guilt-inducing tirade when they didn't raise the full amount of their goal. This is the same charity that will happily take your donation and then call the next day to ask for more. I am not contributing anything to them this winter.

As a general rule, I haven't noticed having more requests for charitable contributions than previous years, yet.

But, following some major surgery for DH earlier this year (he's doing much better now), I've changed my priorities on some things, including charitable donations and volunteering my time. I have already chosen the charities we want to support this holiday season to focus our donations on the people who have the greatest NEED. In a similar vein, I've turned the focus of my time to those volunteer efforts that give me the most joy.

It has made it much easier for me to ignore those requests/demands for my time and money that I don't want to support when I have a goal in mind of what I really want to do.

 

[Geoff_M]

Hmmmmm, this all has a familiar ring to it...

"Nothing!'' Scrooge replied.

"You wish to be anonymous?''

"I wish to be left alone,'' said Scrooge. "Since you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer. I don't make merry myself at Christmas and I can't afford to make idle people merry. I help to support the establishments I have mentioned: they cost enough: and those who are badly off must go there.''

"Many can't go there; and many would rather die.''

"If they would rather die,'' said Scrooge, "they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population. Besides -- excuse me -- I don't know that.''

"But you might know it,'' observed the gentleman.

"It's not my business,'' Scrooge returned. "It's enough for a man to understand his own business, and not to interfere with other people's. Mine occupies me constantly. Good afternoon, gentlemen!''

 

[happygirl]

I'm sorry you feel like that. How do you think people should help the needy

 

[Jenvenza]

So...let me get this straight. You are tired of people trying to help people who are less fortunate? I know we are all trying to cut back in this economy, but to get bent out of shape about this is ridiculous.If you cant do it, then fine. Walk away. But to say you are tired of people trying to help the needy is just plain rude.

 

[shrubber]

Just remember that unfortunately, the Holidays are the ONLY time that a lot of people give to charity.
So, therefor, there is a LOT of competition out for their money.
I don't feel bad walking past a red kettle this time of year.

 

[Jeafl]

So...let me get this straight. You are tired of people trying to help people who are less fortunate? I know we are all trying to cut back in this economy, but to get bent out of shape about this is ridiculous.If you cant do it, then fine. Walk away. But to say you are tired of people trying to help the needy is just plain rude.

I may be wrong, but I don't think the OP was complaining about people helping the needy, I think she was complaining about those people harrassing her because she couldn't give at this time. At least that's how I took it.

 

[mumom95]

Wow, I've never had these groups harass me if I said no, usually they just say have a nice day. I can't believe they would lecture you, that's just unacceptable.

They don't bother me at all. In fact, I smiled today when I saw my first Salvation Army red bucket, it's another sign that the holiday season has begun. I always keep a bunch of quarters in my purse during this time of year, and every time we see a red bucket, my kids will put in $.50. I figure by the time Christmas is over, I've probably donated about $20.00.

These groups are just trying to help people. If you can't donate, don't feel bad. Just politely say no and keep walking. Unfortunately, it sounds like you've run into some ungracious groups, but they aren't all like that.

 

[eeyore65]

I agree with OP. I think they try and make you feel like scrooge. And that is just not very much in the holiday spirit. We give, just on our own timeframe. I also do research on the charities so that my $$$'s go to the ones that use them most efficiently. (I also like a receipt!)

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

I think that the fact that some people might be a little overly aggressive in trying to raise money to help the needy is a minor irritation to the greater good in helping those who really need it.

I'm going to stop here before I get all preachy.

Happy Girl - I liked your question.

 

[MinnieMe87]

Hmmmmm, this all has a familiar ring to it...

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

So...let me get this straight. You are tired of people trying to help people who are less fortunate? I know we are all trying to cut back in this economy, but to get bent out of shape about this is ridiculous.If you cant do it, then fine. Walk away. But to say you are tired of people trying to help the needy is just plain rude.

I think OP is refering more to the harassment about donating everywhere OP goes. And I understand that.

This last month, money became very tight for me and will be tight through the end of the year. I was used to donating hundreds of dollars to a couple of places but I simply cannot do it this year during the holiday season. I wish I could, I wish I could donate any extra money I have but I don't anymore. I had $75 in tips a week ago, spent $10 on food for the week and gave the rest to the local animal shelter because I knew I wouldn't be able to donate the rest of the year.

I understand where OP is coming from. I wish I could donate more but honestly, I can't and when I have to go to a store, sometimes you get harassed for not donating anything. There's only so much I can give. I even got a dirty look at the store for not donating a dollar the other day when I told her I only had $10 and as much as I'd love to help someone else eat, I needed to eat as well and I was so pissed that she made me feel bad about wanting to eat.

 

[RitaE]

I can sympathize with the OP.
I just came back from the grocery store and the Salvation Army guy had his kettle set up right smack in the way of the exit door, to where you have to steer your cart around his tripod stand and slip by him. And this is after you've already had to accept or decline a food bank donation at the cash register.

Sorry, that is just way too in your face for my taste. People should be given the graceful choice to donate or not, not made to feel like they're slinking by.

 

[kidzmom3]

I just can't fathom where they lecture you if you don't give. No one in all my years has ever said anything negative to me or my family when we just walked on by. A happy holidays was always given, no matter what.

 

[SamRoc]

Mickey 527 i know exactly what you mean. and just ignore the posters on here who just didnt take the time to actually read your post!!!
im sorry your having such a tough time this year and cant buy gifts for your own kids, its tough for everyone. i had the bell ringers out in front of the A&P 3 weeks ago! I give to the charity of my choice. I dont give money out on the street. Just walk away with a smile on your face. If you can afford to give you do, if you are just making your own bills, then you and your family are you first priority!

 

[Jenvenza]

I may be wrong, but I don't think the OP was complaining about people helping the needy, I think she was complaining about those people harrassing her because she couldn't give at this time. At least that's how I took it.

Well, is that's the case, that is a little better. I just took it another way because she said she was tired of people trying to help the needy.

 

[Geoff_M]

Mickey 527 i know exactly what you mean. and just ignore the posters on here who just didnt take the time to actually read your post!!!

Hey, I read the whole thing... I just know that at times perception and reality can be two different things.

If you can, and do, give... that's great. If you can't, then that's OK too. I give some times, but not others.

If you haven't done so, I'd encourage you to try the other end of the equation. I used to ring bells for the SA (it's been a number of years since I last did so), and it's a very educational experience. The varying degrees of discomfort that many people will radiate as they pass by is amazing. For some, your mere presence is a form of "harassment" and to others saying "Good morning!" was seen as "accosting" them. It's also very entertaining to watching the lengths that people will go to avoid eye contact and/or refuse to acknowledge your existence. For this reason, I make sure that I say "Hello" to each ringer or other such persons as I pass by.

I guess I'll have to be on alert for all of these over-aggressive donation seekers that are out there this year!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

If I was harassed by a donator my butt would go back in the store to file a complaint.

I have never encountered rudeness from the people soliciting donations outside the store.