Tips for getting a baby sleep in a crib... on their own.

[Grendalynn]

So I am sitting here listening to my little one fuss and cry because its nap time... He has gotten in a bad habit of being held and fed while he falls asleep, he is now 9 months old. As he gets older, I find that to be a bad habit for him to be in. I hate doing the cry-it-out method, but if it is/were to work, i will be happy. We have his room nice and dark, with music playing (white noise) to drown out the sounds of his brother and comotion in the house.... there are no toy in the crib to keep him awake. I know he is safe in there - the mattress is lowered and there is nothing harful. But the screamsare breaking my heart and making me feel like a bad parebt!! You would think thsi was my first baby!! LOL Does anyone else out there have any ideas, feedback, words of support?? ? Thanks so much!

(gotta go check on the little darling to make sure he doesn't hyperventilate )


UPDATE: it is now 20 minutes later and he is quiet - His cry were contstant, then sparatic, now non-existant. I dont dare go in right this minute and check on him, but he is still breathing (i can hear it in the monitor). Have I done the right thing? Will it always take 20 mintues?

 

[bumbershoot]

Well, I, personally, don't think there's anything even the slightest bit wrong with helping a baby get to sleep in whatever way they need. And all babies are different.

Even as a young one, my brother would and could fall to sleep easily, wherever and however. As a young one, I couldn't, I needed extra parenting to help me feel safe enough to get to sleep. I saw the same differences with my 3 half-sibs...one was really independent and easy to sleep, the other two were different.

Sounds like this little one, even if his sibs were different, might need a little more help from you at this tender age. Something I learned from my stepmom, who had 3 kids, is that each kid is different and can make you feel like a newbie all over again!

 

[K and K's Mommy]

If you stick with it, it should never take 20 minutes again. My oldest was terrible about falling asleep, and my peditrician told me it was okay to let him cry. It has been a few years (8!), but I think it was five days before we had no crying. I read Ferber's book because of my oldest, and it says to briefly check on them and reassure after 5 minutes and then wait 10 minutes and so forth, the next day you start at 10 minutes, etc. I know some people don't agree with this, but my kids all sleep through the night and go to bed after two stories! Good luck! I know it is hard!

 

[flipflop]

If you stick with it, it should never take 20 minutes again. I know some people don't agree with this, but my kids all sleep through the night and go to bed after two stories! Good luck! I know it is hard!

I agree! Consistency is king.

With triplets, crying is a part of life when it is one parent (even when DH and I are both home!) with three babies and training them to have good sleeping habits was very important to DH and I. I used to set the timer on the oven for 15 minutes and if someone was still crying, then I would go in and rub their tummies or backs (but not take them out of the crib) and then leave again and set the timer. I think Logan went over the timer twice and that was it. It took about 3 days and then the crying was practically non-existent. Fast forward 17 months and all three walk up the stairs to bed with no fussing - we sing a song and read a book and then into bed - all three take their nap without tantrums. We have been consistent with naps/bedtimes and it has really paid off.

 

[Nicholfamily5]

I'm in the exact same boat with my 10 month old, so you aren't alone!! I was told to check out
Healthy sleep habits, happy baby
can't remember the author right now.

be sure and check back and let me know what's working/not for you!

 

[ChrisAlli]

I think a routine is the key.

And I don't think it's a good idea to put them to bed asleep. Even if you rub his back to keep him calm, just make sure he's in his crib and don't take him out.

Good luck, you'll get through it and so will he.

 

[mickeymouse1017]

I had good luck with putting my daughter down and going in to check on her every five minutes. I would rub her back and whisper to her but did not pick her up. The first night, this took 20 minutes. The second night, it was 15 minutes. The third night, you guessed it, 10 minutes. After that, she was able to understand that this was her routine. I would put her in the crib at bed time and she would sing herself to sleep. She still does that to this day and we never have any issues at bed time. Good luck!

 

[nuzmom]

I think 9/10 months is the worst for this. Must be about the age that they think "hey, I'm missing something when I'm sleeping" Hang in there and be consistent.

I did the "set the time and check on them". My first was EASY and my second WAS NOT!!!! I did the "routine" for 1 1/2 hours at one point. I had always put him to bed at least a little awake and everything was fine and then BAMM - he was 9 months old and decided that he didn't want to sleep. It was 1 1/2 hours the first time, 45 minutes the second, 15 minutes the 3rd and 4th and by day 5 he was fine. It was very frustrating, but definitely worth it. Bedtime and nap time was a happy and peaceful time for everyone.

 

[drivencrazy]

My youngest is over 2 1/2 years old and I still rock her to sleep for nap time! I figure that she needs that time and I sure look forward to it as well! She is a pretty good sleeper and I do let her nap on the main floor where we are, she has been doing this since we brought her home from the hospital, it works for us.

As for night time sleeping, she has pretty much slept through the night since we brought her home as well (started with 6 hours at a time then by 2 months was 8-10 hours at a time). But she does go down in her own bed. We get jammies, brush teeth, read books or whatever and she is usually the one telling me that it is "time for bed" I take her up and but her in her bed and she goes out. If I were to put her up there for nap there is no way she would sleep well.

You just have to do what works for you and your little one. They are all so different!

 

[las3888]

When DS was about 4 months, the only way he would nap was in his rocking chair. Pedi told us that was a slippery slope to go down, so we weaned him out of it. It wasn't all that easy, but it wasn't terribly hard either. I think after a few days of a little crying it out, he got the hang of it. I think it's important for them to be able to learn to self-soothe. I do believe we also would let him sleep on his tummy (against advice of all current literature). He was a pretty robust boy and we felt pretty comfortable with that, especially when it was during the day and I wasn't sleeping myself. I could hear his breathing well on the baby monitor. He napped and slept much better on his tummy.

 

[kerrynic78]

I am typing this while my 6 month old DD is in her crib crying. My DD got used to napping in her swing and that is the only place she wants to nap...well that was fine but she is reaching the weight limit on the thing.

We have started her taking naps in her crib during the day and my Pedi. recommended the Ferber method. We have been using it for a couple days now and the crying is definitely a lot less than it was on day 1. I hate having her cry it out but it does seem to be working.

 

[Tikicampers]

It sounds like you are doing pretty well so far with cry-it-out. I'm sure those 20 minutes felt like 200 , but that's really not too long. I think if this method works for you then go for it.

If you should find that it isn't doing the trick, don't be afraid to research other options. Cry-it-out did not work for us. DH, DS, and I are apparently not cry-it-out people. We did something I saw on Supernanny where DS would get out of bed and we just put him right back over and over (he was older obviously). It took a while, but was much more our style (very few tears involved). DD is different. I can just lay her down, and she talks to herself for a bit, then she's out.

It seems that lately many people are convinced that the way they parent is the way everyone should parent. Other than abusive situations, I see no reason why each family shouldn't do what works for them.

 

[eh24fan]

I am typing this while my 6 month old DD is in her crib crying. My DD got used to napping in her swing and that is the only place she wants to nap...well that was fine but she is reaching the weight limit on the thing.

We have started her taking naps in her crib during the day and my Pedi. recommended the Ferber method. We have been using it for a couple days now and the crying is definitely a lot less than it was on day 1. I hate having her cry it out but it does seem to be working.

My six month old has gotten in the habit of me holding him and rocking him at naptime. Bedtime he has always been pretty easy to go to sleep, no holding, etc. But naptime...wow. LOL Today he was really fighting it even with me holding him, soooo up to his bed we went and he cried and fought it for awhile, I kept an eye on him and finally he went to sleep. <sigh> My 7 year old was a horrible horrible sleeper. To this day, no matter if he goes to bed at 730pm or 1030pm, he's up at 6am. UGH! LOL The baby has always been super easy, so this is new territory for him. Oh, and the swing thing? He used to do that too, but he's such a chunk, it doesn't swing with him in it anymore. LMAO At 5 1/2 months he weighed 22lbs 4 oz.

 

[Grendalynn]

...BUt when I went into his room to make sure he was asleep (and OK) He was still hanging on the the crib railing, slumped down, with his head resting against the bumper!! but ASLEEP! I had to peel his little chubby hands off the railing and lay him down. This was/is all well and good ...BUT...

...But... he only slept for about 45 minutes. As a PP mentioned he heard one little peep and thought he was missing somehting. He woke upi screaming and was clearly still tired. SO I got him back to sleep right away, BUT...

...But... it was on my chest..... BUT....


...But I was in need of a little snooze, too, so it all worked out! I got in a power nap, about 15 minutes, and then slid DS onto the couch and he continued to sleep another 1/2 hour... ((He is a snuggler, what can I say? I am glad My boys are such lovey-dovey snugglers, but i need to get some housework done, too, darn it OK OK and post some stuff on the DIS....))

Oh, well - I will be sure to continue this routine tonight and tomorrow as well. Hopefully we will get him into his crib and going down more easily by next week??? Time will tell....

 

[Tikicampers]

There is an article in Parents magazine this month about napping. I just remembered it. It said that a nap of 30-45 minutes is okay for a baby. Of course, that doesn't give much time for cleaning (or the computer).

 

[kerrynic78]

My six month old has gotten in the habit of me holding him and rocking him at naptime. Bedtime he has always been pretty easy to go to sleep, no holding, etc. But naptime...wow. LOL Today he was really fighting it even with me holding him, soooo up to his bed we went and he cried and fought it for awhile, I kept an eye on him and finally he went to sleep. <sigh> My 7 year old was a horrible horrible sleeper. To this day, no matter if he goes to bed at 730pm or 1030pm, he's up at 6am. UGH! LOL The baby has always been super easy, so this is new territory for him. Oh, and the swing thing? He used to do that too, but he's such a chunk, it doesn't swing with him in it anymore. LMAO At 5 1/2 months he weighed 22lbs 4 oz.

That is so funny about the swing! Audrey weighs about 18lbs (80th percentile!!) and I checked the weight limit on her swing....it is about 25 lbs. She needs to lay off the applesauce if she still wants to go in it in the future!!

 

[brymolmom]

My dd was a LOT worse than 20 minutes. From the get-go, we had a good routine with bedtime for the kids, but dd took a long time to get into a good nap routine. She would CRY for a LONG time. She was very stubborn and I think because it was always lighter in her room than nighttime so she knew. Anyway - this too shall pass. I knew she needed to sleep and was exhausted and was just way too stubborn to give in for a long time.

Now she's 3.5 and I try NOT to have her nap but sometimes she'll just crawl into bed all on her own because she LIKES to (oh man - so would I!!!).

 

[FoundMyPrince]

My only advice would be to be consistent from the beginning. We have friends that have a 13 month old and she's slept in their bed from the start. Now they wonder why she won't sleep in her crib. We have friends with a 9 month old that won't sleep in his crib b/c he slept in a cradle in their bedroom for the last 8 months. We brought our children home and they slept in their crib from the get-go. oops - We did try to put our DS in a cradle in the bedroom, but that lasted two nights; DH and I never slept - just kept listening to DS snooze. Getting children to sleep can be sooo challenging. It's so hard on parents to hear the children cry and the lack of sleep is difficult on everyone.

Here's hoping you get some zzzz's quickly!

 

[tonilea]

I hate CIO. I'm not suggesting that it isn't right at some point for some children, but I don't think I will ever attempt it again. Crying is the only way a non-verbal child has to express him/herself. If you are unhappy/uncomfortable with CIO, don't do it. You don't have to.

For us, it was a process. At first I stood by his crib at nap/bed time and comforted him with my hands and voice. If he actually cried, I picked him up and soothed him. If he just fussed, I would sing to him, "pet" him, just offer him comfort without picking him up. It was tiring and time consuming for me, but he slept well and woke up happy. After about three days of that, I moved to the middle of the room and only comforted him with my voice. Again, I would pick him up if he actually cried. After a few more days, I moved to the door. A few days later to outside his closed bedroom door. It took a bit of time, but he is a great sleeper.

 

[Grendalynn]

It's Nap time... I have set the stove time for 20 minutes. There is under 15 minutes left and his cries are getting less and less and more sparatic. I know he is tired as his eyes close the minute I stck a bottle in his mouth and he starts playing with his ear (No, I know what your thinking - its not an ear infection - its his self-soothing routine. We had a Dr's appt this week and there was no sign...) Well, he seems to be out with just over 12 minutes to go in the first half... Maybe this is working afterall?? I am going to go check... Yep - he's out!! Touch down!!! He was in a big pile in the middle of the crib, so I flopped him over and - SCORE - he stay asleep!!!

10:30 left in the game and i am going to throw on my suit and go catch some rays... for 45 minutes or so anyway!!! Thanks for the great advice - I will be sure to stick with it and see how it goes after a week or so! Thanks again!