Tips for a successful Disney trip with family/friends

[Liz]

Last summer we went to Disneyland with my BIL, SIL and their kids. We are very close to them and do a lot of activities with them, but us, them and Disneyland DID NOT MIX!!! It really affected our relationship for awhile after we got back. After that we swore off going to Disney with anyone.

Now we are jumping into it again and plan on going to WDW next June with good friends of ours. They've never been before and we are excited to share our love of WDW with them. I'm hoping to have a different outcome than our last trip but I'm not sure the best way to achieve it!

Already I've had to back off my enthusiasm and my friend told me nicely that it was too early to start planning (when I was asking how long they could stay, recommending they read the Unofficial Guide, etc.) So now I'm not bringing anything up about the trip unless they do first (really hard!)

So if you've done Disney successfully with family & friends (or unsucessfully and can give advice there too) I'd appreciate it!

 

[Jungle Skipper]

Here are my tips:

1) Don't over do it...dont try to see everything right away all at one time...it won't happen...and going insane trying to force it all in will only cause tempers to flare leading to a miserable time.

The key is taking your time...know what you MUST see and see it...explore things, don't rush or panic...just take it slow and make sure you enjoy yourself.

2) Take a break during the day...the middle of the hot summer days is the perfect time to take a nap or hit the pool. This allows for any tempers to settle and takes an edge off the day. The parks can get super crowded at midday so a break is a good thing. Head to your hotel and relax.

3) ME time...take me time....your going with friends, doesnt mean you have to do EVERYTHING together now does it? Some seperate time might be appropriate. Especially if someone wants to see something other members of the traveling party dont want to see. in my opinion...me time is the key to traveling with multiple families...

4) When planning the trip get the WDW planning DVD...watch it with members of the traveling group. talk about it, but dont over do it...some people..especially those who arent HUGE disney fans like us, get annoyed by talking about it to much (as you have already seen). Don't over plan..it will wear you out.

5) Have a GREAT time....and if you need any specific WDW advice or planning help..just email me ImagineerM@yahoo.com...I love helping out!

Jungle Josh

 

[JerseyJanice]

We've been on two trips with my in-laws. (That is, with my parents-in-law and my sister-in-law and her family.)

The most important point--you all are NOT joined at the hip.

My advice--make your plans for your own family. Don't factor the other family (or families) into them. Then, get together ahead of the trip and discuss plans.

When they don't want to join, just say, fine, go on your merry way and do your own thing.

On both trips with my in-laws, we met for dinner a couple of times. On the second trip, we spent a day at Universal with my SIL's family.

Don't get me wrong--we enjoyed every moment we spent with DH's family, but we needed own space, and all of us respected that.

 

[mommytotwo]

What if you put a list together of things that you enjoy. They may not have the time or the enthusiaum that you have of reading all that literature, so while you put something together for them, but can get excited.

Maybe you could have a day for a group activity, and they let them have their own family time so that everyone doesn't feel overcrowded, and everyone has their own free time.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

We've doen this several times, successfully, with a group of ten! Some of our techniques are:

(1) Plan to be in the same park on the same day, but not necessarily "together"--this way, you see each other, but no ttoo much.

(2) We found having all meals together was too much hassle, but breakfast and dinner most days worked well--we could catch up and chat.

(3) Plan at least one "unscheduled" day, to do whatever you like, separately.

(4) We were on the deluxe magic plan (or whatever it's called now, all meals included), so we did a lot of character meals and stuff. What we did was, all people submitted their preferences to BIL and I. we locked ourselves in a room, and came out with the dining spots, and it was etched in stone. This worked because he and made sure no one person/group got EVERYTHING, but since lunches were "free", each family could separately add something that may have been missed.


If you have any specific questions, I'd be happy to answer them. We had MIL, BIL's family (him, wife, three DD's), then me, DH, Belle, and Buzz.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Try to figure out some of the things that went wrong on your trip with your ILs. Is there something that you would do differently? Did you over plan? Did you spend too much time together?

Try to find out their touring style. As you know, they won't be able to see or do everything. Pick out some must dos for a 1st timer. If she won't read the UG, then she is probably just planning on letting you take the lead in the parks.

I agree with other posters. Have some alone time with just your family.

Lori

 

[jimmytammy]

Our first trip to WDW was with extended family. We did everything together. And it caused a lot of friction. Reflecting back, we would have been better off spending less time together. We could have gone to the same park but gone our seperate ways then got together for lunch. We ate every meal together.

Our last day, DW suggested we try this. It was our most enjoyable day.

 

[CamColt]

We brought our friends along with us last summer. They wanted to do "whatever we did", because supposedly I know what Im doing, LOL! No pressure there!!!
Our biggest fear was that we are early risers, go go go, people, and they are late risers, slower type people.
In the end we got along great. They made it out every morning however the night before our last morning they decided they were going to sleep in and do their own thing, which was fine. Of course I felt bad because with young kids, they missed the whole left side of MK, but they were ok sleeping in and going mini golfing.
In the end, they said they had a great time and would do it again. The mother has even recommended me to other mothers at school to help with their trip planning.
So we still live next door to each other, we still talk, and were able to have a good trip.

 

[pat fan]

I am trying to plan a family reunuion at WDW for 2006 and this has some good tips. Also, our group just got smaller because I doubt my DB & his family will go. They were just up visiting from N.C. and I forgot how insane they were. I'm afraid WDW is too "UnReal" for them. They won't let their kids watch PoC because she has her underwear on when the pirates make her walk the plank. HELLO! It's a floor length,long sleaved dress for pete's sake! So what if it's her "underwear"? I'm sure Snow White's scary adventure is out because of the witch and the list will go on and on and on.....so why bother going?Grrrrrr....

 

[WDWLVR]

We've done WDW with my in-laws and honestly by the last night I was more than ready to go home.

Tips on how it could have been more successful.

Make each person in the party pick one thing that is a must-do for them. That makes sure that no one leaves disappointed.

Definately plan some away time. Our best day was mid-way in the trip when my in-laws went to a gambling boat and we went to Magic Kingdom without them.

Don't be afraid that if there is something you really want to do that you do it. We cruised with them a year later and that's what we did with great success. We clearly stated what we were doing a few days and told them they could do that or do something on their own (they chose the latter).

 

[anditoo72]

I say do your planning do whatever you would normally do on a trip that you are going on. When we were younger my parents found themselves in a similar situation we all went on a Disney World trip with My Aunt and Uncle's family there were ten of us altogether. After getting the peliminary plans down (transportation, tickets, resort, character breakfasts) they didn't want much to do with planning thier vacation. I get my planning gene from my Dad and he was not down with this. Instead of getting mad he handed them a copy of the iteninary a week before we left and said this is where we are going to be if you want to join us you are more than welcome if not we'll see you when we see you. This worked out perfect because they wanted to sleep in late, and in may Dad's infinate wisdom he knew that it wasn't the way to "see" Disney and had us there at park opening. There was no ill will exchanged because we were all able to enjoy the trip the way we wanted. BTW they did join us on one day, but couldn't keep up. So we parted ways and met for dinner that night- again no hostility because they were just more laid back, but ask me who went on more rides and experienced more stuff, I don't think I need to answer.

 

[Mimi Q]

I have been on two trips with friends and/or family. The first trip was with my best friend, her husband and daughter. She is very easy going and just wanted to do whatever we did. Her husband told us from the start he just wanted to fish, and he made plans to fish every day. Went very smoothly.

The second trip was with DH's brother's family and another family we are friends with. As many previous posters have stated, I told everyone what our plans were (always have an iteninary) and they joined us when they desired. I will add one thing. I made sure on this trip that we stayed a couple of extra days to have some time alone as a family.

We are tentatively planning a Thanksgiving 2005 trip with DH's brother, sister, and their families. I have really enjoyed our trips with familiy and friends. Hope it works out well for you.

 

[Liz]

We brought our friends along with us last summer. They wanted to do "whatever we did", because supposedly I know what Im doing, LOL! No pressure there!!!

Exactly!!! This is why BIL/SIL & family went to Disneyland with us and again why our friends want to go with us. Its hard when everyone looks at you and says "we'll follow you". I was always saying "are you sure you want to do this" and "tell me if you'd rather do something else". In a situation like this you get the credit if things go well but all the blame when it doesn't!

Try to figure out some of the things that went wrong on your trip with your ILs. Is there something that you would do differently? Did you over plan? Did you spend too much time together?

Things that went wrong with DL trip:

We did spend too much time together. By the end of the trip BIL/SIL said they wanted a day alone with their kids and it was a good thing but the damage was already done.

I realized ahead of time that a DL trip wasn't their normal way to vacation but still thought it would be a wonderful treat. They normally vacation by going to hotel with a pool and just hang out there and their kids love it.

At home BIL throws money around like crazy, they eat out all the time, go to movies, etc. but on vacation everything was too expensive, they wanted to pack lunches to DL to save money, etc. It was ridiculous considering the way they spend money at home. They started making their oldest DD use her own spending money she had from babysitting, etc. to pay for her own food to save them money. She started not wanting to eat (or eating very little) because she didn't want to use her money that way. I said something to SIL about it and I should have stayed out of that situation and kept my mouth shut.

BIL isn't a theme park person and one day instead of taking his youngest kids to DL he took them to McDonalds playland and said they enjoyed the day just as much as a day at DL. Their tickets to DL were already paid for so in spite of complaining about the cost of everything a day of their passes were wasted.

I wore my SIL out before the trip sending her e-mails about things I thought they'd like to know (how much to rent strollers, etc.) so that's why I'm backing off on that stuff with my friend now. On the trip I know I pushed too much to keep going. Looking back we needed to take things at a slower pace and stop when they needed to stop or realize earlier that we should just split up.

The main focus of the first part of our trip was doing things their little kids would enjoy (lots more time in Fantasyland than we normally do, etc.) When we moved to things the older kids enjoyed BIL wasn't happy because the little ones couldn't ride. My teenagers didn't complain about doing all the little kid stuff because they realized it was their first time to DL.

Even the drive to Calif. was more stress than BIL could handle. By the time we got there BIL & SIL were in a big fight. I doubt they'll ever go again but if they do we won't be going with them! I realize the bad things about the trip weren't all their fault and I take a lot of responsibility. Their normal way to vacation isn't bad, its just different from ours.

I think I really need to explore this with my friend (when she's ready) to see how they like to do things. Also I would really like them to be in on the planning instead of taking the "we'll just follow you" approach.

I appreciate all the tips here! (Sorry so long!)

 

[Megan's Mom]

This Dec we are making a trip to WDW with friends for the first time and I have been wondering how we will make this work out for the best for everyone. WE are getting together Friday night to do some planning of what everyone wants to do and to see which meals we will do together. They are taking their daughter for the first time so they asked us to go with them because we had planned good trips in the past.

 

[vernon]

They have been said already, but it's worth underlining.

1) Don't spend all day everyday together. No matter how well you get on, it will cause problems. Either have days where the families go off and do different things or split up so you can do things that you share an interest in. I.E. maybe the guys golf, if so one day the two guys go to golf (moms take the kids), next day the moms go to the spa (dads take the kids). Offer to look after all the kids one night so they can go for dinner together, if the kids are the right age put them all into the Neverland club and have an adults only evening.

2) Try to get a list of what each family has as "must dos" . If your friends aren't planners then maybe get them to ask their kids for their lists ( you may have to do your friends for them ). If you know there is something they are REALLY keen on. Space centre, SeaWorld,Discovery Cove, canoeing ( http://www.abfla.com/parks/WekiwaSprings/wekiwa.html#can ) or just chilling by the pool/beach then you could suggest they spend a day doing that while you do something you know they are not so keen on. It's important that no one feels they have missed out on their particular favourites.



There is so much to do in Central Florida that there are certain to be something there that's a special interest to them. By splitting up it also gives you a lot to talk about when you meet up for dinner or breakfast the next day.


Maybe print off these answers and show them the advice. While it may seem the best idea to "go with the expert" it does put a lot of pressure on you ( the organiser) and they are running the risk that they will miss something that they later realise they REALLY wanted to do.

 

[KimRaye]

Sorry to be bumping this thread so late, but this is a HUGE issue, for me at least, DISNEY planner that I am, to be in the same boat, with a 2006 family trip in the works! Besides my own immediate family, who have gone anywhere from 1-5 times, my nephew is the only other one who's ever gone, and he only went once, and ONLY to AK!! I have anonymously sent the vacation planning videos to 2/3 of my family going (the other 1/3 still needs FLYING convincing first!) I have done my best to withhold ALL info until such times as THEY ask. (It's SOOO hard!)

I know I basically have carte-blance to spend up to $20,000 for 11 people for maybe 5-6 nights (the length of time also seems to be my call), and my Mom wants a moderate (at the very least). She wants us all to have separate rooms, that's 4 rooms, and she wants maybe 2 nice meals together, planned. Piece of cake, right?!?! She agreed already we do NOT have to spend every minute together, already saying she wants something pool-side for herself (ahhh, what a waste, huh?) BUT, I KNOW, the younger others (my brothers, SIL, and their kids) WILL be looking to me for guidance and leadership - I'm the oldest as well.

The tips here are great so far imo, and I agree with so many of them. Only trouble is, I don't have the actual experience YET!

I am going to do my best to stay the course, giving info only when asked, trying to answer only when asked, etc. When something comes up that I can present anonymously, or some reading material comes along to pass along, or anything, I will do that. The better informed they are, the better their trip will be also. Short of them visiting the DIS regularly, what more can I ask of them, really? (Just don't blame me, right?!?!) For the most part, NONE of them know what they want, since they know nothing, so all I can do is present the info, when asked, and hope they all find some "ME TIME" for themselves.

I think we'll all have our cell phones as well.

Great thread, thanks for asking!

P.S. to vernon - good tip to print this out!!

 

[RNMOM]

When we took DS and BIL and adult niece with us, I made bright colored index cards with emergency cell phone numbers, hotel numbers/room numbers and the PS time and place for meals. I planned one nice meal per day. Sometimes a late lunch, sometimes dinner.

We pretty much just divided up depending on what each other felt like doing. Everyone had their own ticket. We had two young teen sons with us and they stayed close to DH. I was still suffering from bronchitis and layed low a couple days at the hotel. We had a really nice evening at Epcot and a fun day together at MGM. DH and the rest did most of the MK and AK together. No one complained. When they wanted to come back for a nap, they could call on cell phones to meet up again. I found it very easy and they seemed to enjoy themselves.

 

[RNMOM]

Just thought of a couple other things.

I printed out the menus from www.allearsnet.com and showed them to everyone the night before so if anyone couldn't find anything they could/would eat we knew ahead.

I also got maps to the parks at the front desk and with the menus gave them to them to look over so they could see what was interesting to them. We did a lot of splitting up for a couple hours at a time and met for parades, the meals and the like. Sometimes my sis and I took off shopping and the guys went on a ride. No pressure. We all knew how to get back to the hotel and that was what mattered.

If I were to give a newbie a guide book, I would lean toward Birnbaums. Reason: it is very visual and very simply written. The organization is so clear I find it was the best one for me the first couple trips. The passporter is more complicated and the unofficial guide is so packed with stuff, more for those who understand the whole thing and just want to make every minute count. The firs time you are still trying to figure out what is in each park, or at least I was.