Tipping in restaurants

[Minniemama350]

We were there last month. The wait staff at ALL of the restaurants did a wonderful job in spite of the economy.(I have known times when this was NOT the case). We tipped well (20%)because we felt they had earned their tip. My husband and I have had our earnings cut, but we chose to eat there. The service was delivered above our expectation and we felt the right thing to do was to express our gratitude. Each and every wait person we encountered was truly thankful for their tip and made that abundantly clear. The impression it left me with--they aren't being compensated very well by very many people at this point. However, if you feel they did not earn it, that is a different story. We have been served by some folks in the past that would not have seen 10%. I guess my bottom line is that I'm not going to pay less because my wage was cut.

 

[cinderellascastle29]

That was my point as well.

Tink888... agreed, 100%

What I want to know is why is the tip based on the cost of the meal and not the actual service received? Is the server at Denny's bringing me my $5 grand slam doing less work then the server bringing me a $20 steak?

ITA! I never understood that at all. It's the same amount of plates, just different food. Does anyone know why it is that way? It always drives me nuts. We eat out quite often, and I always wonder that! (BTW we always leave a good tip anyway because we are repeat customers to most places, and we want them to keep up their good service to us! )

 

[CathrynRose]

ITA! I never understood that at all. It's the same amount of plates, just different food. Does anyone know why it is that way? It always drives me nuts. We eat out quite often, and I always wonder that! (BTW we always leave a good tip anyway because we are repeat customers to most places, and we want them to keep up their good service to us! )

I answered this:

RE: Bob Evan versus The Fancy Joint - Generally (and most people should notice this) servers 'work up to' fancier places. So, yeah - they may work just as hard, but Bob Evans will hire you with no experience. Fancy Joint will not.

Just like any job - you'd work your way up, within the company. The restaurant industry in a whole, is that company. You leave and go to a better place as your experience get's better. That's your raise, KWIM?

You're paying for a higher quality experience. You're paying for their wine knowledge, their steak knowledge, the crumb scraping, etc etc.

And as someone else mentioned - Denny's / Bob Evans will assign more tables to one server, where as a snazzier place will have only a few tables to each server, to ensure you're getting the whole kit-n-kaboodle experience.

 

[hegsag]

Oops, meant to start my own thread - sorry

 

[PaddingtonBear]

In my experience the waitstaff at Bob Evans consists of either the first-job college girl who does the bored eyeroll when you ask for napkins becuase your kids spilled something OR the middle aged been-there-forever lady that just brings out extra napkins becuase she sees you have kids in your party and she knows how that goes. The great server gets 20% from us, the bored college girl gets 15%. Neither catgegory of service is comparable, in my opinion, to the server at, say, Bravo, which is also a chain place, but higher end. The servers there are all impeccably groomed, not wearing uniforms, hair cut and highlighted (unlike mom-in-a-ponytail-and-uniform at Bob Evans), and when asked they can give extensive details about the sauce ingredients and which wine works well with it. Sure both servers just bring out my food, and honestly I can be equally satisfied by the service at either establishment- but my expectations are different for the higher end restaurants.

Tonight my family went to a family owned Italian restaurant and had pizza. The prices at this place are absurdly reasonable, pizza and breadsticks, soda and chocolate milk for the kids and a small appetizer for $19.50. so I tipped above 20% just becuase I feel like thier prices are so reasonable I didn't want to stiff a hard working waitress due to the low cost of DeLuca's yummmmmmy pizza. Plus we go in there a lot and we have a 2 year old and a 4 year old (who we work hard to teach good restaurant manners- but they do leave crumbs on the floor) and I don't want to be "that" family when they see us comming.

 

[scuba]

I'm going to throw this out there to the folks that indeed haven't left a tip, I happen to leave 15% regardless, more if the service is great.......I go to work sometimes in a horiffic mood, sometimes do less work then I should, and despite my intermittant and certainly not problematic lack of production on a given day my salary stays the same. For those that have not left a tip of any kind, are you implying a server needs to be on their game everyday, every moment, every second and if they cannot accomplish this would you tell them to get out of the serving business

second question, patrons have different ideas of excellent service VS OK service VS Poor service, with all the various ideas about service, how can a server be prepared for everything.....I have had dinner with folks who thought the service was horrible and I would get into my car with my wife and ask her if she felt the service was that bad and usually the answer is NO......What do you think?

 

[klacey1]

I think the idea of tipping less just because the economy is bad is ridiculous. If the service is good, they deserve a high tip. Period. Why should they "take one for the team" and suffer with others if they don't deserve it? (Not saying that anyone who has lost their job deserved it, obviously. Just saying the waiters don't deserve to get less of a tip just because the economy is poor)
How do we expect the economy get better if we don't continue spending money?
We always tip at LEAST 18% for fair service, 20-30% for good to great, and more for fantastic.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

Just like any job - you'd work your way up, within the company. The restaurant industry in a whole, is that company. You leave and go to a better place as your experience get's better. That's your raise, KWIM?

I totally agree. It's rare for people to spend more then a few years at the most at the same restaurant, and their "promotions" are moving to a better restaurant. The same goes for the cooks as well, though they don't need to worry about tips.

 

[smidgy]

I usually leave a small tip for the take out person, I realize that they're not giving me the full service as if I was eating in, but also realize that while they're running food to me, they're not able to be waiting on a table.

I never knew about tipping on take-outs myself (emarrassed). Iget take ut orders, that I have to make up the salads, include the dressings, put the rolls in a sep. bag, put soup in containers, add the lemons, sour cream, tartar sauce, etc, to the containers, bag it all, total the bill, make thechange, etc.... all takes time. sometime we get a tip, sometimes not. a couple buck is nice, since thatis time we are NOT spending on our tables. a few regular take out customers tip very well(15%). not expected, but appreciated. but a few bucks is nice. I never knew before how much time it takes to put together a take out order. maybe some places just "run"it to the person, butother places, whoever answers the phone does a lot more.

 

[smidgy]

I
I always thought we should tip by the amount of time we are there. Not knowing how many tables are possible, this is just an example, but $5.00 per hour for a table of 4 or less since the server can work more tables and $10.00 per hour for a large group where the server may only have one or two other tables. So, if a server is working 4 tables an hour, that is over $20.00 an hour when you factor in the wage also paid by the restaurant - not a bad wage.

.

4 tables an hour. that would be great. a 7 hour shift, 4-11, that would be 28 tables! in one night! outside of disney, where can you get that kind of table turnover? please let me know, I'll work there!

I also wondered why it was based on the price of the meal. sometimes I work
the hardest on the people ordering off our value menu, ordering water (with lemon). well, this is how the rest. pays the servers. the more they make, the more the server makes. is that fair? who knows. .... we could revamp the whole system....have the restaurant give servers a decent hourly wage..period. now, that $10 value entree just went up in cost. as did he high end steak. causenow the rest. has to pay much more to the servers. and now. the customers have no choice. at least, with the current system, the tip is optional. If you want you can split an entree, drink water, and tip nothing. If you get bad service, you can tip little. If you really like theway I remember what you drink, how you like your steak prepared, no onions on your salad, and ask how your daughter is liking her college, or if your son is feeling better, and make you laugh with an anecdote, you can tip more.... IF you want.
it is refreshng to hear so many people appreciate their waitstaff. and acknowledge that we have taken quite a paycut, in these times, due to less tables. and we servers know there are many who will tip as little as possible, and it just goes with the territory. I am thinking of 2 regular couples, one couple are well to do, and tip me 25%!!! the other tip me15%. both , very nice couples. I give them both great service. either will get their drinks or more rolls before the "tip as little as possible" couple.
anyone know what the acronym TIPS stands for? To Insure Prompt Service.

 

[smidgy]

Amen, sister. People think it does not take a lot, but to be a good server, it sure does. And I am an excellent server at an excellent restaurant. I know the menu inside and out. I know tons about wine. I can be funny or I can provide quiet service, depending on how I read your table. Your drink won't be empty. Your additions/subtractions to the order will be right. Just try it, especially on a Friday night. I guarrantee you will be sweating! All of that for $4.20 an hour!

The more expensive the restaurant, the less tables a waiter will have, and the less it will turn over. So, a waiter in Bob Evans might have 4 times the amount of tables than a waiter in a more expensive place, so even though his individual table tips will be less than the more expensive place, he'll have more tables to make up for it.

I took my 30 year old son to breakfast. I paid, he paid the tip. the bill was abou $15. he left a $5 bill... looked at me and said, "whatever the bill, $5 is my minimum" bless him

Re the first few paragraphs - Thanks, yes that does make sense.

I get that's how you feel. And if a bunch of servers are venting about it at the end of a shift, I get that too. Everyone has gripes and vents about work. That's understandable. My problem is when that feeling/attitude comes across to the customer or potential customers. Servers do provide a service, most provide an excellent one at that and yes, they absolutely do deserve and rely on tips to live because they are underpaid as far as wages go. However, a tip is just that. A gratuity based on the level of service a customer feels they received. The industry turned the tip into a living wage, not the customer.

So as a consumer when I hear servers talk about what they should be getting and how if what they get isn't enough, it leaves a bad feeling you know? I'm not trying to pick on servers. It comes down to any kind of customer service. If the person getting paid minimum wage to bag groceries comes across like they're doing me a huge favor by bagging my groceries, it makes me want to shop someplace else KWIM? And in doing my own job I know that no matter what aspects of the job I don't like, or even difficult clients, I can never come across that way outside of venting to my co-workers because if I do, those clients can always go somewhere else and then I'm out of luck. I need them a lot more than they need me.

:

the differece is, servers choose that profession assuming that tips will be included in their pay. (whether or not you agree with the tip system )baggers do not. and if they are successful servers they expect a reasonable tip (or the would not work that job) if a particular server consistanly receives lousy tips, he/she should seek another profession, they're NO GOOD AT IT! and don'tbelong there. this, and most threads about tipping, are about decent servers., NOT about lousy service. I think we all agree terrible waitresses don't deserve decent tips.


the OP was talking about tipping in general, NOT bad sevice. in keeping with the original post, you shouldnot tips servers less because of the economy. they already took a pay cut, with less diners. (which has nothing to do with tipping someone less becuse of poor service.

 

[kaytieeldr]

It really irks me to hear servers say if you can't afford the tip, you shouldn't eat out when talking about tip percentages.

Respectfully, how do you feel when 'plain old' people, never employed by a restaurant or supported by the income of anyone who worked in a restaurant, states that same opinion? Because I'm right here, and this is my philosophy.

Tipping is customary in United States restaurants. Armed with this knowledge, diners can reasonably be expected to consider the [estimated] tip when choosing a restaurant. If you've got $20 to feed two people, don't even bother with Applebee's or Chili's, despite their "Two for $20" deals - because you don't have the money for the tax or the tip.

But I would expect that your employer should be paying you more at the fancy restaurant... is that not the case? The consumer is responsible for the increase and not the employer?

It's not the case. Minimum wage is minimum wage. While it's possible the high-end restaurants pay more, please refer to CathrynRose's explanation about working one's way up.

What I want to know is why is the tip based on the cost of the meal and not the actual service received? Is the server at Denny's bringing me my $5 grand slam doing less work then the server bringing me a $20 steak?

Tradition. Plus, a percentage of the cost of items ordered is tangible and calculable. Since the service itself doesn't have a price/cost, it is impossible to determine what percentage of its value is a reasonable tip/gratuity/service charge/add-on.

 

[bicker]

Kaytie really hit the nail on the head. Given how much confusion there is today with the 15% standard (when it applies, when the amount should be higher, etc.), just imagine if there was a schedule of standards for gratuities, i.e., $1 for serving each appetizer, $3 for serving each entree, $0.45 for serving each drink, $0.22 for each refill, etc. Could anyone reasonably be expected to keep it straight? And if you just had a flat amount per meal, then we'd hear the same inquries, "Why is it per meal 'and not the actual service received'?"

The best answer is, "It is the way it is. It hasn't changed form, and there is no good reason for it to change form. Every system has advantages and disadvantages, and this system is probably the most advantageous overall, and it will not change in our lifetimes."

 

[happygirl]

In my experience the waitstaff at Bob Evans consists of either the first-job college girl who does the bored eyeroll when you ask for napkins becuase your kids spilled something OR the middle aged been-there-forever lady that just brings out extra napkins becuase she sees you have kids in your party and she knows how that goes. The great server gets 20% from us, the bored college girl gets 15%. Neither catgegory of service is comparable, in my opinion, to the server at, say, Bravo, which is also a chain place, but higher end. The servers there are all impeccably groomed, not wearing uniforms, hair cut and highlighted (unlike mom-in-a-ponytail-and-uniform at Bob Evans), and when asked they can give extensive details about the sauce ingredients and which wine works well with it. Sure both servers just bring out my food, and honestly I can be equally satisfied by the service at either establishment- but my expectations are different for the higher end restaurants.

Tonight my family went to a family owned Italian restaurant and had pizza. The prices at this place are absurdly reasonable, pizza and breadsticks, soda and chocolate milk for the kids and a small appetizer for $19.50. so I tipped above 20% just becuase I feel like thier prices are so reasonable I didn't want to stiff a hard working waitress due to the low cost of DeLuca's yummmmmmy pizza. Plus we go in there a lot and we have a 2 year old and a 4 year old (who we work hard to teach good restaurant manners- but they do leave crumbs on the floor) and I don't want to be "that" family when they see us comming.

Wow, it sounds you have got crappy services at Bob Evans when I worked that he had to know a lot about the menu. When I worked at Bob Evan we had to be impeccably groomed. I think you need to call there coroprate office and let them know what is going on. I don't think they would be pleased to hear how poor quality there servers are

 

[Chuck S]

Wow, it sounds you have got crappy services at Bob Evans when I worked that he had to know a lot about the menu. When I worked at Bob Evan we had to be impeccably groomed. I think you need to call there coroprate office and let them know what is going on. I don't think they would be pleased to hear how poor quality there servers are

When we visit WDW we occasionally drive offsite to a Bob Evans, and we've never had poor service or poor food. I wish we had some Bob Evans in our local area.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

I answered this:

You're paying for a higher quality experience. You're paying for their wine knowledge, their steak knowledge, the crumb scraping, etc etc.

And as someone else mentioned - Denny's / Bob Evans will assign more tables to one server, where as a snazzier place will have only a few tables to each server, to ensure you're getting the whole kit-n-kaboodle experience.

The servers there are all impeccably groomed, not wearing uniforms, hair cut and highlighted (unlike mom-in-a-ponytail-and-uniform at Bob Evans), and when asked they can give extensive details about the sauce ingredients and which wine works well with it. Sure both servers just bring out my food, and honestly I can be equally satisfied by the service at either establishment- but my expectations are different for the higher end restaurants.

I don't care about that crap. I don't drink, so the wine knowledge doesn't benefit me at all. I don't care if they're wearing jeans or if the waitress has highlights. My expectation at a fancier restaurant is that the food will be better... not that the crumbs will be cleaned off the table.

Of course, I don't go to fancy restaurants because I'd rather be able to go out weekly with my friends instead of monthly (or less).

But personally, I think the person busting their butts at the place with eight tables is working harder than the person waiting on four. You are, of course, free to disagree with me.

 

[MIGrandma]

I'm going to throw this out there to the folks that indeed haven't left a tip, I happen to leave 15% regardless, more if the service is great.......I go to work sometimes in a horiffic mood, sometimes do less work then I should, and despite my intermittant and certainly not problematic lack of production on a given day my salary stays the same. For those that have not left a tip of any kind, are you implying a server needs to be on their game everyday, every moment, every second and if they cannot accomplish this would you tell them to get out of the serving business

second question, patrons have different ideas of excellent service VS OK service VS Poor service, with all the various ideas about service, how can a server be prepared for everything.....I have had dinner with folks who thought the service was horrible and I would get into my car with my wife and ask her if she felt the service was that bad and usually the answer is NO......What do you think?

Exactly! Some people think servers are robots who shouldn't have feelings, shouldn't ever be upset, etc. We are human, and unfortunately sometimes something happens in our private lives that causes us to be less than perfect at our jobs. I once had a customer leave a poor comment card on me, she said I "didn't smile enough." Well, I had a terrible cold/fever/sore throat and had tried to find someone to cover my shift but no one was available. You can't just "not go to work" if no one can cover for you, so I had to go in. I drugged up so at least my runny nose wouldn't drip into someone's food but since I wasn't feeling all that great I "didn't smile enough." Notice the customer said "enough" so obviously I smiled "some" but just not "enough" for her. Good grief!! Is that really something to leave a poor comment card about???

 

[scrapquitler]

My theory is, if you can't afford the tip, then you can't afford the meal.

I totally agree. If I couldn't afford to leave a 20% tip, I'd eat somewhere less expensive or order a less expensive meal.

Now having

 

[disneychrista]

I answered this:
You're paying for a higher quality experience. You're paying for their wine knowledge, their steak knowledge, the crumb scraping, etc etc.

And as someone else mentioned - Denny's / Bob Evans will assign more tables to one server, where as a snazzier place will have only a few tables to each server, to ensure you're getting the whole kit-n-kaboodle experience.

But I can go to the same place and order a $5 breakfast or $20 steak and I am getting the same service. This is what I don't understand. I get it at a fancy restaruant where you are getting more service.

 

[bicker]

But I can go to the same place and order a $5 breakfast or $20 steak and I am getting the same service. This is what I don't understand.

First: That's probably not true. Servers can fill you in on the details, with regard to how much more picky the average customer is with regard to the particulars of a $20 steak meal versus for a $5 breakfast.

Second: Keep in mind that the way the world is not customized for each person. We live in community with others. Just because the basic premise for something doesn't necessarily fit for one of us, the fact that it fits for many others, and that having one way for things to work is essential to a reasonable level of societal consistency and efficiency, is far more than enough to support that one way.
Folks have provided explanations for why things are the way they are, in many threads, here and elsewhere in the past. Seeing those explanations practically never made someone who inherently didn't like the reality of how things are feel better about how things are; instead, typically, such folks generally reject the explanations, even though rejection of them is irrelevant.

Third: It all doesn't really matter. The way things are was determined long before most of us were born. This isn't some arbitrary and capricious decision a few people in a back room made a few years ago. It's the reflection of a hundred years or more of our culture establishing a society precedent.