Tipping in December

[NYCgrrl]

Hi NYCgrrl,
I assume from your user name you are in NYC. I live in Manhattan and know the drill. I will be making a bank run today or tomorrow for crisp bills. Our building staff are nice, but all they do for me is hand over packages. Plus, anytime I have needed a porter or the handyman, they have their hands out. My husband and usually give the superintendent $200 and the rest $100.

I rather give more to the garage manager and workers. They go above and beyond for us year round.

When we lived on the UWS I got a lot more from the staff but it was sort of a trade off. Some of the staff’s family members worked at buildings I managed so they were usually solicitous when they could be. In order to keep things above board I left my SO to tip our staff but I’d little idea what he was doing although always knew him to err on the side of generosity. He managed a hotel so knew the whole tipping deal. When we moved here I left things the way they were but then he passed away unexpectedly . There is a list he made up but I can’t attest to its accuracy. Was it a practice run or the final? I thought to pull up his bank statements but he also paid in cash so no help. This coop is more rigid than our prior residence with a newly “gentrified” bd of directors in place so this staff is holding to every rule ever made. Can’t say I blame them but it irks me that I need my fridge moved and it’s becoming a major production. Oh well I need to think long term and I’ve still some playtime. Thanks much for your insight I do appreciate it!

 

[rlk]

When we lived on the UWS I got a lot more from the staff but it was sort of a trade off. Some of the staff’s family members worked at buildings I managed so they were usually solicitous when they could be. In order to keep things above board I left my SO to tip our staff but I’d little idea what he was doing although always knew him to err on the side of generosity. He managed a hotel so knew the whole tipping deal. When we moved here I left things the way they were but then he passed away unexpectedly . There is a list he made up but I can’t attest to its accuracy. Was it a practice run or the final? I thought to pull up his bank statements but he also paid in cash so no help. This coop is more rigid than our prior residence with a newly “gentrified” bd of directors in place so this staff is holding to every rule ever made. Can’t say I blame them but it irks me that I need my fridge moved and it’s becoming a major production. Oh well I need to think long term and I’ve still some playtime. Thanks much for your insight I do appreciate it!

I hear you about the rigidity. I'd say within the last year or two, our board has become so strict. We have to provide proof of insurance and fill out several forms for almost any delivery/service. Our board likes to believe they are a white glove, Park Avenue building, instead of a run-of-the-mill UES highrise. Several years ago they even tried to ban strollers from entering and exiting from our front entrance.

 

[gottalovepluto]

Sounds like a lot of postal workers are violating the ethics policy: https://about.usps.com/postal-bulletin/2012/pb22349/html/cover_025.htm

I. Am. Shocked.

 

[TCRAIG]

I don’t tip the paper delivery or trash pickup or hairdresser or dog walker etc…cause I don’t get the paper, have trash service, go to a salon or have a pet
I don’t tip delivery (US Mail or UPS or Amazon) cause I never see the same once twice…I do give a ‘Christmas Bonus’ of an double payment and a scented candle to the guy that takes care of the yard and the woman who cleans my house…I also tend to ‘overtip’ in December in restaurant- 25-30% instead of 20

 

[gottalovepluto]

I don't like our letter carrier. We regularly see her driving down our neighbor's driveway to deliver packages. She leaves us a note in the mailbox, and I have to go it at the post office.

Like, are you not getting the message or you just don't like the message? Dollars to donuts your neighbor has a history of tipping generously at Xmas...

 

[dvcgirl67]

I am with others who used to leave a gift for the mail carrier back when they would come to the house and we had the same one every day. It was usually something simple like a jar of candy with a thank you note. Where we live now, they pull up tp the mailbox at the curb and it is rarely the same carrier each time.

It's funny you say that....about dropping the mail in the box and pulling away. That's how all of my houses were until this one. I live in a town where the postal workers walk the streets....all of our mailboxes are attached to the home, or like my house (built pre-1915 with the original door), we have a slot that he puts the mail through, and it lands on the floor....old school, but we like it. They walk a lot...up and down stairs to front porches all days long...etc. And so we know our guy well....his name is Ace, and so we tip him.

 

[nw6675]

Not being snarky lol!

https://www.disboards.com/threads/tipping-and-or-gift-giving-during-the-holidays.3932606/

 

[NYCgrrl]

I hear you about the rigidity. I'd say within the last year or two, our board has become so strict. We have to provide proof of insurance and fill out several forms for almost any delivery/service. Our board likes to believe they are a white glove, Park Avenue building, instead of a run-of-the-mill UES highrise. Several years ago they even tried to ban strollers from entering and exiting from our front entrance.

I headed a committee to help settle the stroller wars, . The north side of the building only had two apts per floor and the passenger elevator only held five people on a good day. The larger service elevator was only accessible from the rear of the apartments and manually operated so a solution was needed that didn’t include upgrading the back elevator. It turned out there was only one type of stroller causing the problem (too wide and scraping the door jamb) and the “offender” swapped strollers with someone on the other side of the building although she grumbled for sometime about what a quality carriage it was. Glad I could be of service but I could feel a migraine coming on.
We sold our unit just as a dissident board member was ready to sue the board and super over their newly refinished parquet floors .
And now I’m in a building where an insurgent board has just taken over and needs time to realize that half of their platform is in opposition to city and state laws and regulations . They’ll NEVER know what I used to do cuz I’m about to become as quiet as the proverbial church mouse. Gotta love coops

 

[nw6675]

And then there is my BFF @NYCgrrl

 

[NYCgrrl]

And then there is my BFF @NYCgrrl

…and is that your little sweetums in the oversized carriage? Too cute!

 

[amcnj]

The only one I used to tip was the newspaper deliverer. At least until the paper started going missing a bit, and was wet on rainy days. And when the company stopped doing anything about missing papers and stoppages for vacations (they used to
extend your subscription) I finally gave that up altogether. That was quite a while ago now.

Otherwise there really was never anyone else I regularly used for anything. The mailboxes were on the street, the garbage cans too, and they used a truck with only a driver and an arm picked up the pail and dumped into the truck.

Haircuts were random, definitely the person was, and at times even the location.

 

[disneydreamer1980]

We tip the mailman $50 every year, not that much but as a result he goes above and beyond for us all year. DH talks to him frequently and knows his name and all about his family and everything. Also tip trash men $20 each (dh tapes envelopes to our trash can lids and watches to make sure they get it) and because of those tips they take extra care with our cans and such. Regular hair dresser gets an extra tip also. That’s it for us though.

 

[#1hoosierfan]

Like, are you not getting the message or you just don't like the message? Dollars to donuts your neighbor has a history of tipping generously at Xmas...

Oh, I get the message. Not playing the game. I’m more of a “cut off my nose to spite my face” individual.

 

[sasywtch]

I have a bad attitude about tipping mail and garbage as they are government workers as I was (I know USPS isn't really but they do fall under federal regs). I was not allowed to take tips and did my job so not understanding the need to tip the garbage and mail (and they make okay money also with all the benefits I had). **In OK, they did have private garbage that I did tip as it was old style trucks they had to lift the cans and I'm sure were not paid well at all. Normally I tipped my lawn people but they had to quit last year due to illness so I hired this guy that does my neighbors and honestly, they do bare minimum. (would look for a new one but least of my worries right now). I'm not allowed to tip my daughter's nurses but there is one that I will probably buy See's Candy or something like that for. He definitely would not take cash. We always tip 25-30% to waitresses all year so if we go out to eat this month, usually tip a little more.

 

[AprilsZoo]

Now, here’s my question. Are you using the one month’s rent/ maintenance/ common charge guideline for tipping or a different formula? Just wondering if this is a regional practice or what. TIA!

What is this formula/guideline of which you speak?

I cannot imagine tipping anyone a full month’s rent, especially not the rents in NYC.

 

[AprilsZoo]

Like, are you not getting the message or you just don't like the message? Dollars to donuts your neighbor has a history of tipping generously at Xmas...

More likely the neighbor has (or had) a disability, and got the PO to deliver to their door. You can request this if your mailbox is not in a place that is safely accessible by you due to disability or if you cannot carry your packages from wherever they would normally be delivered, like from the end of your driveway.

I think it was called “door service” or something like that. Not sure of all the requirements or what proof they ask for.

I looked into it for my sister because she was not able to independently make her way down the three steps from her front door, walk across the uneven pathway to her mailbox at the curb, and then turn around and go back up those steps to get back inside. This was extremely unsafe for her to attempt. She had already had two bad falls when going to the mail now. Both of which required EMS to be called. The second time could’ve killed her, because she was outside in the Arizona Sun long enough to get a sunburn and become dehydrated. The ER doctor called it sun poisoning.

We were told the carrier could be allowed to bring all her mail to the door. (They asked if she needed packages only, or all of her mail and whether or not it was a permanent or temporary need.) but before we got very far into the process, her grandson decided to move in with her to do all her errands and take care of everyday things like mail and cleaning the house, loading the dishwasher, etc in exchange for not paying rent. Win-win for them both.

Of course this was both pre-pandemic and pre-DeJoy.

 

[china mom]

It's funny you say that....about dropping the mail in the box and pulling away. That's how all of my houses were until this one. I live in a town where the postal workers walk the streets....all of our mailboxes are attached to the home, or like my house (built pre-1915 with the original door), we have a slot that he puts the mail through, and it lands on the floor....old school, but we like it. They walk a lot...up and down stairs to front porches all days long...etc. And so we know our guy well....his name is Ace, and so we tip him.

My childhood home had a mailbox next to the front door but no slot. I ended up buying a house in the same town and it had a slot but previous owners had installed a storm door and the letter carriers were not allowed to open it so they had to put a mailbox next to the door. I don't live in that city anymore but they still have letter carriers with their heavy bags walking up to each house.

 

[NYCgrrl]

What is this formula/guideline of which you speak?

I cannot imagine tipping anyone a full month’s rent, especially not the rents in NYC.

There are many ways to figure tipping for building staff and here is one guideline:

https://www.cityrealty.com/nyc/mark...ing-building-staff-who-when-why-how-much/7141

There is a lot of thought that goes into how much you tip with service level making a big difference.
Do you have an P/T door staff or full time? Is a building staff member dedicated to deliveries and packages and how well do they know the occupants they work with ? When new kitchen appliances arrive can you depend on the super or his/her assistant to ensure every item goes in the right spot, utility hookups are attached properly and no one is wandering unsupervised thru your home?

These are all questions to consider when tipping and it’s certainly not a one response fits all moment since service levels differ for both renters and owners.

Right now I just want someone to move my demned fridge with a minimum of jabberwocky. He who moves it fastest is rewarded accordingly…