Tipping Advice from former waitgirl!

[apostolic4life]

I think its sad this thread has come to " lets bash the servers".

I hope you don't think I am bashing servers..........I am bashing a whole generation of lazy whelps..........
Just kidding!! I was giving an opinion based on what I have seen in the workplace; not just servers, many different occupations as you point out so well below.

Who cares if someone wants to tip 30% for excellent service then let them tip what they want. Heck I could sit here and tell you story's about bad lawyers, rude sales girls, the kids at Kroger who acted like it was killing him to get me something. Get the drift.......

Absolutely agree with this portion of your statement, but the fact is this thread does pertain specifically to servers and their plight/windfall (however you see it).

 

[goofy4tink]

I agree. It's been 10 years since I worked in restaurants and I can't understand why things have changed so much! It used to be that 15% was standard and when servers earned 20% they were very happy! Why is 15% now a bad tip and 20% is expected? It's not like the level of service has improved immensely over the last 10 years!

If we get treated like crap we tip around 15% just so we can return to the place without the nickname "stiffers". If we're treated really well and the server overlooks the fact that we have 3 kids and is friendly right away I'll order a drink and we'll get an appitizer to up our bill total and then leave 20%. I also always pick food etc. off the floor and make the kids help before we leave- not because of the server, but because it's a respect factor. There isn't anywhere in the world I'd go and leave a mess on the floor.

If I get less than good service, I don't care what the servers or management thinks...I won't be back. I have always thought that the servers are the restaurants 'ambassadors'. If they do a less than stellar job, then the restaurant isn't going to be getting much repeat business. The best food in the world is going to be forgotten when it took the server an hour to get it to you or if it took the server an hour to get your bill to you.

Yes, I do realize that servers get a very small paycheck. But...they know that going in. It is up to them to do what they have to do in order to make a decent living. Heck, I go to the same restaurant I've been going to for years..the same servers are there still. Why? They know their guests and they are paid well because of the good job they do. If you do a lackluster job then you won't make much in tips....cause and effect.

To those of you out there who try to provide great customer service, whatever the job...I thank you. I truly appreciate good customer service. I don't find it very often nowadays.

 

[Tricia1972]

I think its sad this thread has come to " lets bash the servers". Who cares if someone wants to tip 30% for excellent service then let them tip what they want. Heck I could sit here and tell you story's about bad lawyers, rude sales girls, the kids at Kroger who acted like it was killing him to get me something. Get the drift.......

If you were my waitress, you'd get a big fat tip from me at IHOP! I just love reading your posts and can tell that you're a nice person.

In no way do I mean to bash the servers in general. I based the few entitlists from previous tipping posts, but not servers in general. I really appreciate servers and all the work that they do for us. In turn I am always polite and treat a server as I would want to be treated if I were in their shoes. I also reward good service with a good tip.

However, my issue comes with a former waitgirl offering tipping advice and then saying that they start at 30% and work down from there. I believe that when an 'expert' gives advice - what the expert does can be construed as what 'we' are expected to do. Yes, she has clarified several times after that original post that she doesn't expect anyone else do do as she does. I just believe that the OP was quite misleading and still feel reading it that it's fishing for more from us.

Hello All! Not trying to be rude or pushy but I used to be a wait staffer and manager, as well as a bartender.

Now days, 18 to 20% is the norm for regular service. I know that when I take my children, who I make be as neat as possible, I start at 30% and go down, depending on service and messiness of my children.

I do understand that many people are on a budget, but can you imagine how many non-tippers and parents with messy children are at DW places on a regular basis? Remember, many of these people work there for jobs, not for fun! (Hard to believe not everyone loves DW, huh?) Also, they have to split tips with the bartender and the clean-up crew, and many times the hostess that seats you. And they take the brunt of frustration about bad food, or just bad day in general.

As a former waitstaff, please be generous to them as much as you can. It is a lot easier to get great service when you tip well, and are considerate to the server. I always say thank you and please, and try my best to keep neat because the work is hard and you would be super suprised the quality of the service you can get most of the time.

Just some advice from someone who knows!!!

 

[natcat]

hi Waynesgirl! I really appreciate your input. In my little part of Canada 20% is probably the going percentage but I am really curious about what people really tip. I have a question for you that maybe you know the answer to. When at Disney we ate at Le Celier and we were charged to our room card for the meal because we were on the dining plan. We thought that our waitress was exceptional and even went out of her way to give us the recipe for the soup. We left a cash tip which is in addition to the 20% that they automatically charge. Would she be able to keep this cash tip because we meant it to be specifically for her?
Curious and cold in Canada

 

[crisi]

I think this is the real issue at hand for most people who oppose the OP.........since when has it been the servers idea or feeling that determines the tip? The customer is the recipient of the service, therefore the customer's feelings are the ones that should count.

We saw the definition of tip earlier in the thread. And while I think its ethically mandatory to tip - given that is how the system is set up to compensate employees - a tip is still a voluntary gift. My problem with any "guidance" on tipping is the same problem I have when the bride tells me how much I need to spend on her wedding gift. I really don't care if the bride spent $50 a plate and expects me to buy a $200 gift to "pay for" her wedding, nor do I care if the last table stiffed the waitress, if its a hard job, or a slow night - these are NOT my problems, I came to eat my dinner and not have the responsibility of worrying about my own dishes - much less my servers ability to buy a cute purse or pay rent. And my problem with servers (and former servers) giving guidance - or worse yet - complaining about bad tippers - is my same problem as those brides complaining about what they got.

Its tacky not to tip (except under rare circumstances) in the U.S. Its tacky to tell other people what to tip unless someone asks you.

 

[shellybaxter]

My problem with any "guidance" on tipping is the same problem I have when the bride tells me how much I need to spend on her wedding gift. I really don't care if the bride spent $50 a plate and expects me to buy a $200 gift to "pay for" her wedding, .

Do brides really tell people how much they spent "per head" and ask for a wedding gift of a certain value to compensate? That's so strange. How is this done? With an insert card?

I'm so clueless

 

[mom2my3kids]

If I get less than good service, I don't care what the servers or management thinks...I won't be back. I have always thought that the servers are the restaurants 'ambassadors'. If they do a less than stellar job, then the restaurant isn't going to be getting much repeat business. The best food in the world is going to be forgotten when it took the server an hour to get it to you or if it took the server an hour to get your bill to you.

Yes, I do realize that servers get a very small paycheck. But...they know that going in. It is up to them to do what they have to do in order to make a decent living. Heck, I go to the same restaurant I've been going to for years..the same servers are there still. Why? They know their guests and they are paid well because of the good job they do. If you do a lackluster job then you won't make much in tips....cause and effect.

To those of you out there who try to provide great customer service, whatever the job...I thank you. I truly appreciate good customer service. I don't find it very often nowadays.

That is me I have been at IHOP for almost 10 years I make a decent living nothing spectacular but it pays the bills and I love meeting new people. Now will I be serving tables 5 years from now, NO my youngest starts school this fall and hopefully by next summer I will move on. I have 3 classes left and I may go back to school and finish and get my degree but its been a good ride and its been a great place to work, we are like a big family managers and employees. We joke around and we all really care about each other, most of us have been there for a while. It will be very sad when I do leave, but I know I don't want to be serving when I am 40 not that its a bad thing.

 

[mom2my3kids]

If you were my waitress, you'd get a big fat tip from me at IHOP! I just love reading your posts and can tell that you're a nice person.

In no way do I mean to bash the servers in general. I based the few entitlists from previous tipping posts, but not servers in general. I really appreciate servers and all the work that they do for us. In turn I am always polite and treat a server as I would want to be treated if I were in their shoes. I also reward good service with a good tip.

However, my issue comes with a former waitgirl offering tipping advice and then saying that they start at 30% and work down from there. I believe that when an 'expert' gives advice - what the expert does can be construed as what 'we' are expected to do. Yes, she has clarified several times after that original post that she doesn't expect anyone else do do as she does. I just believe that the OP was quite misleading and still feel reading it that it's fishing for more from us.

Thank you, that was very nice of you. I understand everyone felt the OP came off a bit strong, but there are a few BIG tippers. These are people who have worked in the business and just wants to make the server feel appreciated. I hope you know what I mean, its not that servers don't appreciate tippers who tip 15-20 percent of the bill because we do. If it was not for tippers I would not be able to put food on my table, but its nice to get the Great Big Tip once in a blue moon. Your like Donna look I just got a twenty dollar bill off a table of two who's bill was only 20.00. It makes you feel like you won a big prize, its silly but its true..

 

[the Fidge]

Here's some info from a former watiress of 30 years in the business if this helps.

Prior to the change in IRS I cleaned up huge! I also had my start in the local coffee shop that would run my tail off for pennies. I also waited in white glove service as well so my experience is spread wide out.

I have always believed that people give what they feel I earned. I would be happy when a husband finally got his wife out after having their 3rd baby and would spend much of my time jsut trying to get her to enjoy "her" moment. I was delighted if they were able to give 10 percent as I would always make it up with a high roller. I have some real horror stories of some big mouthed customers that would like to show off to their friends and then have not enough to pay out to the help that made me sick!

I always have been delighted to receive whatever folks felt I merited in their dining experience. I was always pleased at the end of the eveing in satisfaction of job well done!

I give what someone merits and do not tell what someone else gives. You never know what circumstances are in someone elses life. I can tell you several times that my first time serving some folks they gave the standard 15 and for which I was very pleased. THe next time they would return and request my service and then go above and beyone and then comment that they were so impressed they wanted to make up for their last visit.
Which was never needed.

Growing up we rarely dined at any fine establishments and you just know when someone shaked out the piggy bank for that birthday or anniversary. I made it my job to make it as wonderful as possible.

There are some that do not believe in tipping at all.

SO by the end of the night if your doing your best it balances out. If it doesn't than that person needs to change restaurants. Not a bash just my experience.

 

[sjaakie]

Do brides really tell people how much they spent "per head" and ask for a wedding gift of a certain value to compensate? That's so strange. How is this done? With an insert card?

I'm so clueless

Yes they do. Not exactly telling you how much but you get an invitation that says: We got plenty off stuff and our house is complete. Maybe your gift doesn't fit in our plans ore idea's.

Inside the invitation is al card with a little envelope for you to return with money of course.
You will see how good your gift was on the wedding. If you are seated in a lonely corner you surely not gave what they expected.

 

[MissionMouse]

... It is a lot easier to get great service when you tip well, and are considerate to the server. ...

Sounds like you have the roles reversed here, not to mention the server has no idea what their tip will be when you first sit down at the table. The server should be polite and considerate. Provide timely and professional service...then the tip is issued from the CUSTOMER based upon your performance. The tip range is 15-20%. If you require more you should be looking at your employer to pay a higher base range, since in essence the tip process/concept is indirectly performing part of your managers job called employee performance management.

 

[crisi]

Do brides really tell people how much they spent "per head" and ask for a wedding gift of a certain value to compensate? That's so strange. How is this done? With an insert card?

I'm so clueless

[hijack]

You need to spend some time on bridezilla sites. If we are talking about entitlement, no one is as entitled as "Daddy's little princess" on "her day."

Mostly they let you know by gossip. And by stinging commentary about other weddings. "I can't believe that Aunt Joan only gave Beth $50 and a set of hotpads - Beth spent like $40,000 on that wedding. And Aunt Joan certain could have afforded to give her $500." Or, "Well, I'm only inviting Jim and Susan because Jim makes a lot of money, they'd better give me a decent gift."

(My husband is known to "make a lot of money" and the moment we moved into the class of aquaintences with income, we started getting a lot more wedding invitations from people we barely knew who were gift fishing.)

[/hijack]

 

[the Fidge]

I forgot to mention something I witnessed that made my hair stand on end! I overheard a waitress ask this much older couple what was wrong with her service as they only tipped her 10% of the check and asked was there something wrong with her service.

Well, the gentleman said yes dear there was something wrong. He has bad vision and counted his money before they went out and counted wrong. He aplogized and said he was very sorry. As she walked away grunting the wife learned over and said I told you this was a bad idea I don't know why I let you take me here. He said he was sorry but felt she did deserve a nice night out being that it was their 60th anniversary. He then was telling her how much he loved her and at that point I stopped listening. I wanted to cry. This was not a fancy place sadly I was certain he had squeezed that out of their SS check. You never know.

 

[Battousai]

Tipping has it's good points and bad points.

Good point: Giving a better server a better tip for their service. If everyone was paid the same with no tips, I fear many waiters and waitresses service would go downhill.

Bad point: Very confusing, paying someone more to serve me a 20 oz steak vs. a hamburger. I know in South Korea, for example, you don't tip and the service there has been very nice. Different culture, perhaps?

Since I have to follow the American way though here, I start at 18% and it can go up or down, depending on the experience.

 

[mom2my3kids]

I forgot to mention something I witnessed that made my hair stand on end! I overheard a waitress ask this much older couple what was wrong with her service as they only tipped her 10% of the check and asked was there something wrong with her service.

Well, the gentleman said yes dear there was something wrong. He has bad vision and counted his money before they went out and counted wrong. He aplogized and said he was very sorry. As she walked away grunting the wife learned over and said I told you this was a bad idea I don't know why I let you take me here. He said he was sorry but felt she did deserve a nice night out being that it was their 60th anniversary. He then was telling her how much he loved her and at that point I stopped listening. I wanted to cry. This was not a fancy place sadly I was certain he had squeezed that out of their SS check. You never know.

This is horrible, I can't imagine any server with any class would ask a customer that. I mean that is down right rude, and let me tell you I have never or have never witnessed a server saying such a thing. We might gripe in the back about lousy tippers but never ever on the floor, our managers would have our butts.

 

[crisi]

If you require more you should be looking at your employer to pay a higher base range, since in essence the tip process/concept is indirectly performing part of your managers job called employee performance management.

If you require more you need to switch careers or move up the restaurant ladder.

No one gets rich waiting tables at Denny's. Even when everyone tips well, the $5 steak and egg special is getting you a $1 tip. And its Denny's - the number of people who think that 10% is an acceptable tip and the number of people who just stiff you and the number who pull a few ones from their wallet for a tale of ten is going to be high. But the Sunday morning shift might be hard work, but its often decent tips.

But you move from Denny's to Friday's. The check goes up, the number of people sitting at a table for three hours drinking $2 worth of coffee goes down. You might start with a lot of Tuesday nights, not pulling a lot of tips, but you work up to Friday and Saturday nights, when your tables are always full.

You move from Friday's to some popular local restaurant with alcohol - check goes up again, clientele becomes less likely to stiff you (or be living in the 10% tip world.)

Move again until you are a professional waiter in a very nice place where people order $100 bottle of wine with dinner.

This is no different than a ton of other professions - you start your band in dive bars playing for exposure and work your way up. You start your managerial career with a small firm that pays poorly before moving on. You start your journalism career writing obits and covering city council meetings in small towns. Become a pilot and you'll spend the early part of your career flying miserable puddle jumper routes for less money than you can make full time doing pizza delivery (or flying for the military). If you are talented, lucky, and work hard, you can make a decent living at these professions.

 

[joenan88]

Well, the gentleman said yes dear there was something wrong. He has bad vision and counted his money before they went out and counted wrong. He aplogized and said he was very sorry. As she walked away grunting the wife learned over and said I told you this was a bad idea I don't know why I let you take me here. He said he was sorry but felt she did deserve a nice night out being that it was their 60th anniversary. He then was telling her how much he loved her and at that point I stopped listening. I wanted to cry. This was not a fancy place sadly I was certain he had squeezed that out of their SS check. You never know.

That story was so sweet and heartfelt! I am actually crying..

That should be the prime example of the "entitlement" era we live in. I have had a waitress ask about a tip before..and by the way..it was a huge oversight..I was at a very upscale restaurant with 2 other couples. The bill was around $500.00 and we had been drinking I will add..we were trying to leave her $100.00 which was 20% but instead we left her $50.00...unaware of our error... She came to the table with the manager and asked if there was a problem with the service, we graciously said no and she then proceeded to ask why we only tipped her 10%. My husband and his friends threw another $20.00 on the table and we walked out not saying a word.

 

[Sleepy]

I understand everyone felt the OP came off a bit strong, but there are a few BIG tippers. These are people who have worked in the business and just wants to make the server feel appreciated. I hope you know what I mean, its not that servers don't appreciate tippers who tip 15-20 percent of the bill because we do.

I think the same could be said of many jobs. A person who has worked a back breaking job as a housekeeper in a hotel is more likely to just make their own bed, gather the trash and dirty towels and just meet the maid in the hall for fresh towels and a new trash bag. Oh, and then tell the maid to skip the room and have a nice day. (I do it often as I know how hard that job is). Being able to skip just one room is like a waitress finding an unusually huge tip on the table. A person who worked in retail would be more likely to put something back exactly where it came from if they decided they did not want the item, simply because they know how frustrating it is to pick up behind others. That said, we all have had jobs where we know what to do to make the current people in that job feel special or appreciated. It is in no way the right of any of us to tell people or even suggest this is how everyone should do things.

 

[DiszyDean]

One more thought...

Anyone who goes to a sit-down resteraunt without the means of leaving at least a 15% - 18% tip just shouldn't be there. Whether they end up not leaving that tip due to bad service is up to them but I can tell you more than one conversation I have over-heard in resteraunts where one person will tell the other person something like, "Wow, I didn't realize it would cost this much, I only have a couple of bucks left (on what was probably a $75 check), will just have to leave that for the tip."

While it is not the servers right to solicit tips and most resteraunts have strict policies against it (resulting in termination), the flip side of that is, if you cannot afford to leave an appropriate tip, you should not be eating there period.

 

[crisi]

While it is not the servers right to solicit tips and most resteraunts have strict policies against it (resulting in termination), the flip side of that is, if you cannot afford to leave an appropriate tip, you should not be eating there period.

Perhaps you shouldn't, but I wouldn't be so quick to judge a guy trying to celbrate his 60th wedding anniversary with his wife on his social security check. I think "period" is a fairly strong statement and that this is more of a situation of relative ethics. I'm not sure who decided tips should go from 10% to 12% to 15% to 18% to 20%. But it wasn't me. In the meantime, my restaurant meals have continued to increase in price - so the 10% tip on a $50 check has become a 20% tip on a $200 check. That's a darn nice raise for servers over the past twenty five years. And I'm now told 20% is "acceptable" if I want to be a "good tipper" (what loaded judgemental words!) I should tip better than that.