Timid 4 year old in Disney? Help!!!

Tigge50447

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Feb 26, 2003
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My son is turning 4 in a few weeks so we figured it would be a perfect age to experience disney for the 1st time. However my little angel is the most timid child (scared is more like it) that I've ever seen. I use to work at a daycare and have never experienced a child with such non willingness to try new things.

Last wkend we went to a little fair, hoping to expose him to small rides, unfortunately he was tired and broke down crying saying that the rides where too loud and he didn't like loud moving things.

He is getting much better around fireworks, last year he wouldn't even look at them while this year he is okay as long as he has his head phones on.

I'm sure someone on this board has experienced this with their child(ren) what did you do to prepare them for the World?

I was thinking about buying one of those sing-a-long disney tapes that show the characters in Disney world.
 
My friend's son was very timid when he was younger so I'll share some of what they did.

He didn't like any rides that were inside because he didn't like the dark. Even if the ride wasn't "dark", he still felt it was. So, they would do the ones outside first and then try something indoors, knowing it was bright (say Winnie the Pooh) and kept doing that to sort of build him up. If they went into one that was on the darker side, she gave him a little flashlight that he could shine at the floor of the car and that would take his mind off things.

Fireworks were another deal altogether. He hated them and is 8 now and still doesn't like them. They would go to Illuminations and stay back on the walkway in between FW and WS, but even that didn't go over well. I would bring ear plugs and see if that would help and just play it by ear.

You know your child best and know his limits. I would go with the expectation that he won't enjoy everything that's there, but he'll definitely get alot of out it. Hey, he may even surprise you.

Have a great trip!

Nancy

P.S. I definitely wouldn't try Fantasmic on this trip!
 
my dd was like that on our first trip - she was 3 1/2 at the time. She is still quite timid about new things (she's 6 1/2 now).

We did a couple of things wrong, which I will mentoin - we were there for 2 weeks and started with the Universal parks. her first ride was the Carousel in Suess Landing - this was great. 2nd ride - Cat in the Hat. - this was not great. It's spins and there are flashing lights - this put her off rides for quite a few days.

When we moved to the Disney parks, she was extremely reluctant to try anything. I pretty much carried her onto It's a Small World - I am not a fan of people forcing children onto scary rides - but I knew this ride was not remotely scary. Well, she loved it's a small world, so we did that 4 or 5 times - lol.

She also loved Goofy's Barnstormer - nothing dark there, just a fun ride in the open air.

We tried Pooh next, and she was extremely unsure, so we waited by the exit for quite a while and looked to see if any children looked scared - eventually we asked some kids if it was scary and when they reassured her it wasn't, then she agreed to ride it. She was a bit nervous during the heffalumps but otherwise she liked it.

We took it slowly as we were there for 2 weeks, so we built up, and we asked a CM before every ride, what exactly would happen, and was there anything even remotely scary - the CMs were excellent, and when she knew what was going to happen she was a lot more confident. By the end of the trip we did plenty of rides - the scariest was probably Pirates or Journey into the Imagination (the middle version) - this has quite a scary bit when it is dark and you can hear a train coming- she ws fine with that as the CM outside had told us about it before hand.

we also bought a lightup Pooh Bear wand which she used in all the dark rides - these don't work outside so they make the dark rides much more appealing.

I can't say her first trip was the best trip we've taken, but she remembers it fondly (although she has no desire to ever go on the Cat in the Hat ride), and now she is going back for her 4th trip in October and is contemplating Big Thunder Mountain. (She did Splash Mountain last year)

Also - take it slowly with the characters - we found the face characters were best initally, as they could chat with them. Also a autograph book is nice to hide behind - she can just dash up , hand over the book and dash back to Mummy - no need for a cuddle. Again, now she loves the characters, and runs straight over, but for a few days she was very nervous.

Have a great trip, and take it slowly and you will be fine.

bev
 
Was to get the music from the parks, it has songs from rides like Tiki Birds, Pirates, Haunted Mansion etc.....so you could say "you know the music from this ride", let's go in ! Knowing the music before we got there, created a comfort zone and interest in wanting to see the ride.

I don't find DW loud like a fair would be, other than some shows have very loud music. Maybe some earplugs would help, if he doesn't want the headphones on. My son needs them. Walmart has some call Hearos (look at www.hearos.com) that you roll, place in ear, then they expand. Not expensive and easy to carry a few pair along. Only filters the sound. Maybe if his sound sensory isn't overloaded he will find it more enjoyable.

I would get him an autograph book. I found that when my son was very afraid of others, he approached it as he was getting an autograph in the book rather than making a personal interaction with the characters. As time went on, he relaxed around them.

I like the flashlight idea or even a package of the glow in the dark necklaces - I pick them up at the dollar store.

I think anything to distract his focus on the negatives. Maybe a disposable camera to take pictures of things he wants to remember. A fanny pack with some candies or something that he may want to nibble on.

I agree, he may surprise you, it is so different from most parks. Follow the cues, take quiet breaks - plenty of quiet spots to sit and enjoy a drink or snack.

Have fun !
 

My little guy is 8 years old (with Down syndrome) and reacts the same way.

We simply solved it by asking him if he wanted to try the ride, checking with the cast member to see what was involved, and if he still indicated he didn't want to do the ride, we didn't. Also, you know your child best, so if you're unsure about an attraction, I would have someone in your party ride it first and then make a decision. We had one cast member tell us that "Journey into Imagination" wasn't that bad with only one or two loud noises. After an all-out screaming, hysterical trip through that attraction, I swear he ended up scarred for life. After that ride he even went ballistic when riding "It's a Small World"...and he told us he WANTED to ride that one.

So, we take turns going into rides with our daughter, while the other one either goes shopping with our son, finds a quiet corner for a snack, or watches the street performers (which he absolultely loves doing!) We still feel we get the Disney magic because we find new ways to discover the Disney magic.

We go slow....extremely lazy, wandering-type slow....and let him call the shots. Because of this, we're only doing two parks, with a one day break in between each park. This gives him time to re-adjust to his usual routine and also gives him plenty of time to explore on a pace he's comfortable with.
 
Whatever you do do not take him on Snow White. I still remember the witch scene from when I was little and while they have changed it a little it is still scary. Splash mountain is dark but cute characters except for right before you go up the hill for the big drop there are glow in the dark eyes that my DD 5 finds scary. (yet she like HM???) Pooh has the hefalumps scene which is not really scary but weird enough that he may find it scary. Buzzis dark and LOUD. At Mickeys toontown they have in the gift shop lines to meet characters and one line is a princess. you may want him to meet a princess first before trying the costumed characters. My DD loved(s) the videos that show the kids and characters signing in the parks. Thats a great idea. Maybe also get the free planning video and show him that as well. Good luck.
 
and as much as he loves going to WDW, and as much as he talks the big talk, he does not much care for most dark or loud rides or shows.

We just go with the flow. He decides if he wants to or not, and we accept his decision. He always has a little flashlight or light toy if he thinks it's too dark and we're already there.

He loves: Tomorrowland Speedway, Tiki Birds, Jungle Cruise, Buzz Lightyear, Dumbo, the Carousel, the Magic Carpets, the Safari, the Lion King show, Playhouse Disney, and all of the characters except the Country Bears. (We explained that the characters were very big, and he accepted that until he saw a couple of GIANT Country Bears!), and the monorail and train, and the Country Bear Jamboree.

Will do: Pirates (go figure), Haunted Mansion (rode it twice, but hasn't the last couple of times, just turns around when he sees the house on the hill and starts walking the other direction), Barnstormer, Great Movie Ride, and similar. Says the thunder in Winnie the Pooh is too loud and scary, but will ride, Small World

Says he will, but absolutely won't: Splash & Big Thunder, or anything else that looks too fast or too big.

Says he wants to try Test Track this time. We'll see!!!

Would rather see characters, play in the pool or at the playground at the hotel. Those are his favorites!!!!

Just let the child set the pace, and as long as you realize & remember that that's why you are there, you will have a blast!

Have fun!!!!

iluvtig
 
My DD (almost 4) also does not like any dark, loud rides. She loves WDW and has been 5 times with her sixth trip planned for Feb, but she still will not venture on any of the "dark" rides. She doesn't really even enjoy the Pooh ride. She's been on it but does not enjoy it. We never drag her on and if she doesn't want to ride something that is fine with us. She does love IASW and the other more outdoor rides in MK such as Dumbo, Magic Carpets, Carousel, Goofy's Barstormer, Indy Speedway, TTA, Steam Train. She also likes watching shows such as Cinderella's Celebration show in front of the castle, the Country Bear Jamboree, and Belle's show.

Also our DD has a real problem with the 3-D shows. She has seen Muppets and Mickey's Philharmagic but does not wish to go back in to see them again. She put on her brave face while watching them, but the next trip we would ask if she wanted to go in and were met with strong disapproval and told us they are too loud and scared her.

Now our DD really enjoys the characters. She actually prefers the fuzzy characters. She runs and gives them all hugs very easily. It is the face ones that she was hesitant with at first. Although this past trip we saw quite a bit of improvement there as she hugged each princess at our CRT breakfast and also hugged the few we met in the parks. However if given a choice of which characters she would like to greet, she always chooses the non-face characters.

She was fine with WISHES and seemed to enjoy the show. She also liked FITS when it aired. However Illuminations we found out from our first trip there that we need to stay further away from the lake action. We have never attempted Fantasmic with her and I don't think we will for several more years.

She loves the parades with the excpetion of the villian characters. Whenever they parade in front of us, DD actually turns her head away until they are completely passed! She doesn't cry or try to run away, just very quietly turns her head or body so she does not see those offending people!!

Just to give you an idea of what she likes at the other parks:

Epcot:
Living Seas
The Land - boat ride and the Toll House cookie Jr. Chef program
Journey into Imagination (the actual ride is not a favorite) but she enjoys the lab stuff that you get to explore at the end
Test Track - she actually hasn't done this one yet, but wanted to last trip but was an inch shy of being able to ride.

World Showcase - She enjoys visiting the countries and doing the KidCot stops a bunch.
Mexico - she does like this boat ride.

Character Bus- She loves this bus! We always find out when and where it is pullling up to and make sure we are there to meet and greet many characters at once!

Epcot jumpin fountains - she loves to play in them. I always bring extra clothes for when we visit b/c she just enjoys them sooo much1

MGM (We're done with this park real fast!)
Playhouse Disney show - Loves It!
Beauty and the Beast Show
Character meet and greets in front of the sorcer's hat

AK
Festival of the Lion King Show
Camp Minnie & Mickey meet and greet
TriCeratops Spin
Boneyard playground
Kali River Rapids
Tarzan show
Flights of Wonder show
Asia animal trek
Safari ride and African animal trek
Rafiki's Train ride and petting zoo
Animal paths at the beginning of the park and around the Tree of Life

Good luck on your trip! ::MinnieMo
 
We take ear plugs. We use them on alot of rides POC, Tikki Birds & most dark rides. And Fireworks.

We also got Pin Layards & attached Mickey & Minnie Key chain lights to them- I know alot people complained on this site about lights in dark ride,but if the kids do not point them at people, I am talking little pen lights not flash lights.

We did Chef Mickey the night before going to the parks to used to the Chars. & rode the monorail both loops.

My DS4 freaked out in Tough to be a bug-he told me that he knew all about it from the sing-along & and a friend. He also hated Little Mermaid we left with him attached to my head:rolleyes:

Just do your best. My kids love the fair & have no problem with Santa or Easter Bunny.

Kae
 
Definitely get the Sing Along videos, preferably the ones with live characters, not cartoons. I got the Beach Party video to prep our 2 yr old for our trip. It has the original characters (Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy, Pluto, Chip, Dale) and a few others interacting with real kids in the different parks and resorts (another plus). The songs are quite catchy too! While at WDW, our son was leery about the characters and wouldnt go near them without me. When he saw Mickey, he ran right up to him. He was pretty comfy with the characters from the video, and after a day or two with the unfamilar ones he was fine. We saved Chef Mickeys for check out day and by then he was very comfy around the characters. Also, I later bought the Where Magic Lives dvd (son watches it all the time along with the sing along video). Call and get the free planning kit that has a dvd in it. It might help your child get over the fear of some of the rides. I showed it to our son to prep him for the trip. When we got to MK and he saw the castle, his face just lit up. Priceless....

alison::MickeyMo
 
Is your little one afraid of automatic flush toilets by any chance? My 3yr old is timmid and very afraid of them. We had a hard time at WDW since only a few toilets aren't auto-flush (one in the baby center in Magic Kingdom I believe). When we got back from our trip a friend suggested we bring post-it notes to cover the sensor and it works like a charm. He can pull it off himself if he's feeling brave, or stand in the open door to the stall (so I can see him) while I do it if not. We'll definately be packing these next trip. Hope it helps someone.

Amy
 
What an awesome tip. My girls are just now starting to get over their fear of the automatic toilets. I wish I had known about the post-it trick a long time ago!!
 
my DS (3 1/2 at the time of our trip) HATED the Winnie the Pooh ride. Waiting for the ride to finish, while he's screaming his head off, was awful!! :-(
 
Our DD's first trip to WDW was when she was 3. She was a shy child at home, but in Disney she was a different kid! We couldn't believe it! We went with the expectation that she might not like rides or shows. We were prepared to just watch parades, walk around the parks and look at everything, and swim in the hotel pool. Our first day, we went to AK. Timon was at the entrance and before we knew what was going on, DD jumped out of her stroller and into Timon's arms. We were shocked! She also ventured out into the middle of Main St. with the other kids during the MK parade and loved it. The biggest shocker of all is that she went on Goofy's Barnstormer 10 times that week!

So, get that Sing Along video and be prepared for not doing too much in the parks. You may be pleasantly surprised at what your DS will do.

Have a great time!
 
My son was quite leary of characters/rides when we first started going. I think it has a great deal more to do with familarity than being scared. (I remember at his age I did the same thing). I just wanted to throw in a couple extra tips.

1: Pin Trading! My son is quite shy BUT put a pin lanyard on him and NO CM is safe. I had to drag (well lead away by the hand) him away numerous times because he wanted to hit up EVERY CM he saw. Pin trading will turn a normally shy child into a social child. Best advice is to order a lanyard and 4 or 5 trading pins (ones you don't have a pension for keeping) and tell them about how it works before you go. That way they will know before they arrive that it is OK to walk up to a CM and ask to trade. All you have to do is help them start out with the first few CM's and before you know it they will be leading you to them.

2: You might want to try a more gentle park first like Animal Kingdom. This is really one of me and my son's favorite parks. You can walk around and see the animals, go on a ride through the "wilderness", stroll around, ride a few of the easy rides, and just enjoy the atmosphere. It's a different kind of theme park though so don't go expecting the take the same CHARGE! toward the attractions attitude that are prevelant in other parks. It's more laid back, quiet, and relaxed.
 
Oh, if you bring your child into a 3-D movie and he doesn't like it suggest he take his glasses off. Then it is just a regular movie (though Muppets was a bit fuzzy at times). My son didn't like things popping off the screen, but because he had ben to a movie theatre once before (Nemo) he was comfortable with it as a regular movie. If you've never been to a theatre before, you might want to see if he likes the experience prior to Disney. My son hates loud noises, but tolerated the noisy movies for some reason.

Amy
 
Okay, the movies might help, the ear plugs might help, taking it slow might help, but if your son is as extreme as my son, you are just going to have to accept that you will either spend time taking turns--FP is a beautiful thing--or you will miss several rides this trip. The focus is the key and I usually manage to remember that.;) I have a VERY intense 4 yo who loves WDW but has told us he wants to just go and walk around and not go on the rides. (yeah, that is worth the price of a ticket, right?) Wouldn't matter in the least if the CM told him exactly what was going to happen and that there was nothing scary. His perception of scary and other people's widely differs and he knows it! And we are not talking just hesitant, we are talking hysterical and like people would think you were seriously abusing him if they heard him screaming.

He likes IASW and Peter Pan, though PP took quite a bit of convincing. He won't go on Pooh even though he rode it when he was two and loved it. He is not thrilled with Dumbo, but will ride it. Thinks the treehouse is great and I am pretty sure his favorite ride is the transit authority. He claims that the next trip he will ride Buzz lightyear, but we are not holding our breath. He also likes the main street transortation options, loves the monorail and the train. He will NOT go on Pirates of HM and doesn't like Tom Sawyer's island because there are caves with weird noises in them. Didn't like Philharmagic because he didn't like getting wet, but says he will ride it again if I put his jacket over his head. (Whatever.)

He enjoys the Safari ride, the train and all of conservation station as well as the dig site at AK. No shows, no movies. For MGM, he likes the playground and Playhouse Disney. At Epcot, he likes the whole park overall, but we haven't bothered to try any of the rides in World Showcase and he is pertrified of the fountain when the music starts (there is a part where the music sounds like fireworks.)

As far as characters, he strongly dislikes them. When he was two (almost 3) and we went to several character meals, he just turned away from the characters basically pretending they were not there! Makes for some pretty funny pictures and since my older one loves characters it was a good compromise. Now, the last trip, he was really stressed about the characters. We tried to do Garden grill, but no way, he was hysterical. He and I went downstairs and had mac and cheese while the rest of the family stayed at the meal. We also did Crystal Palace which actually worked. We explained to the CM that we had one who was pertrified of characters and they seated us in a booth with a corner so DS could sit between me and DH and the two who like the characters could be on the ends. We pointed out to DS when the CM was talking to the characters and pointing to him (they made it very obvious, which was great!) and told him they were telling Pooh etc not to come talk to him, just to talk to his brother and sister. Worked out great!

So, people wonder why on earth we bother going when it seems like this kid will be miserable. Well, he's not, that is the thing. LIke I said, he would be happy just hanging out on main street! If you don't push him into uncomfortable situations, he loves to be there and is the most cheerful and easy going travel companion. He is quite happy as he and I sit on a bench in Tomorrowland waiting for big sis and little bro and daddy to ride Buzz Lightyear, or strolling around MouseGear with Daddy while I watch the Epcot fountain.

Just go with the expectation that you will go slow and he will NOT see it all--or even as much as most 4 yos. He can still have a lot of fun, just maybe not what other people would expect. My DS is very excited because the state fair is in about two weeks. But not for the reason his sister is!! She wants to ride the rides on the Kidway which he says he will watch her do. We aren't actually sure what he is excited about--he is not to thrilled with the children's barnyard either--those baby goats are so unpredictable.:rolleyes: But he is excited and looks forward to it every year.
 
My son (age 9yo) has been timid since birth. We know his limits associated w/ his syndrome so we don't make him go on things that will definately make him motion sick, be untolerably loud, etc. He went on splash mtn and hated it but I would make him do it again because the only thing he didn't like was the drop at the end and he buried himself in my lap for that. Now I would never make him do the tea cups because I know he would be sick all over the place! If I didn't make him do some things then he would never do anything; and even at that rate he will only participate in about 1/2 the things that his 6yo sister and 3 yo brother will do. I think your child will probably be reluctant to do alot of these things because they are all LOUD and mostly dark, but you know him best and you know what he can handle.


Thanks takemetoo, I am so glad I opened this thread. My son is so scared of the autoflush toilets that he will go all day w/o using the toilet (or have an accident late in the afternoon and at age 9 that is not good!) I'll have to remember the post it notes everywhere I go!
 


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