Four pages to catch up on? Pfft. I can do that in my sleep...
and considering I
am pretty tired...
Maybe a nap first...
zzzzzz......
One for the money, two for the show, grab some beer or wine, it's on with the show.
Okay I'm finally ready, let's go!
To talk of many things: Of shoesand shipsand sealing-wax Of cabbagesand kings And why the sea is boiling....
Uh... I may have gotten a little off track there...
It was awfully rude to not invite us to Dallas or back to Vegas. The nerve of it traveling without us. No consideration what so ever.
If there's one thing I can't abide, it's rude luggage. Silly suitcases, fine. But rude luggage? No.
You have to be firm and put it in its place... Usually in the overhead compartment or under the seat in front of you.
There's a conundrum for ya. You can put it overhead... and risk it falling on your head during extreme turbulence and killing you; or put it under the seat in front of you and have the certainty of being uncomfortable for the entire flight.
Decisions, decisions.
When we came back from Vegas and went to claim our luggage, mine came and hers didnt.
It's sad when a couple who seemed to be getting along okay decide to separate.
So we filed a claim with Southwest. After filing the claim, they said to allow them 24 hours to locate her bag. If we didnt hear back from them in 24 hours, give them a call and they will try to give us an update.
Whadaya mean
try. There's no try! Where's my dang bag???
What they failed to mention is, that it would be put on the next flight out to Dallas. 24 hours later, Lady Hs bag is still in Dallas and again told it would be put on the next flight. The next flight back to Vegas that is and then to Albuquerque.
"My suitcase is more well travelled then I am."
Huh?! So youre telling me you have to send my bag to Vegas before sending it back to me in Albuquerque. Why cant it just be sent from Dallas to Albuquerque? Lady H made that argument but unfortunately SW won.
Because there are some people (far too many, IMHO) who cannot have an original thought in their teeny tiny little brains. "The computer says it has to go to Vegas".
Finally after being on vacation without us for 5 days, Lady H gets a call from SW close to 10 pm at night and they tell her they have her bag in Albuquerque.
Reeking of cheap booze, with lipstick on its... handle.
Would she like to pick up the next day or would she like it delivered? Delivered please. SW is it ok if we deliver tomorrow?
I knew I needed to run and hide when they asked if they could deliver it tomorrow. I didnt want to be the witness to a murder. Better yet, I didn't want to be the one murdered.
Good call.
Maybe she played it smart by ringing the door bell, dropped it off and ran.
Again... Good call.
And like a group of army ants, they worked fast to get the luggage off the conveyor belt, turned them over on the side with the wheels and marched them away in a single file line.
That sounds.... weird. And funny!
Now were just waiting on Lady Hs bag.
Uh, oh. Is this the same gadabout bag from before? And you
trust it?
We make our way out to the shuttles for the rental cars.
Hey! Wait! So you got the bag? Or did you just surrender to the inevitable?
right as we get close to the shuttle, it takes off without us.
Probably on a schedule.
Probably didn't care about you.
Probably got dropped on his head a lot when he was a baby.
Lady H lifts up her shirt and flashes him.
This TR has just moved to the top of my reading list.
Sorry Nebo, but you can't compete with that.
He immediately stops as well as all the other buses that just ran into him trying to sneak a peak. Thats one way to get them to stop. Then I look at the pile up and traffic jam behind the big pile of wreckage. Were never going to make it to the rental car place now. Probably going to throw Lady H in jail for indecent exposure. No sooner did I say that did the airport police show up and haul Lady H off to jail. Time to call DMil for bail money.
What? You dont believe that happened?
Nope. I don't believe she went to jail. There's no
way cops will show up that fast. I buy the rest of it... and no matter what you say from now on,
that's what happened.
The reason Im in a hurry to get them unloaded is because I have no CASH to give the guy a tip.
Here's a tip. Tell the other driver to stop when he sees people trying to get on the shuttle.
Ha. So long su........per people. Have a nice wait.
Nice that you had super people with you.
Kidding aside, that
is a nice perk. I've got a similar thing with National (through work). Two guys were ahead of me and the first was just getting his keys. The second guy has no reservation and will have to fill out all the forms, etc. This is going to take a while.
But the clerk looks at me and says "Are you an Emerald Club member?" then tells dude #2 to wait while he serves me.
Aaaaahhhhh....
He tells me I can pick from row C and takes off with tweedle dumb and tweedle dumber following right behind him. Lady H and I look at each other. Which way to row C?
So they're dumb and dumber for not knowing where their car is... then you guys come along and don't know where your car is either...
I'm not saying anything here. Just an observations
:
All we see left is a Ford Escape. Is that right? Its a SUV. We double check to make sure were in the right row. Sure enough. Looks like the Ford Escape it is.
Isn't it nice of them to keep it simple for you? No traipsing up and down the aisle trying to figure out which car to take...
Load up our luggage, start er up, drive up to the guard shack and present him with our release papers. I wanted to pull a Nebo and tell him Is this going to take long? We just got parole for good behavior and were in hurry to get out of this joint, but I decided not too. Nobody at this place seemed to smile, so I decided not to chance it.
"Oh a funny guy, huh?" <breaks kneecaps> "Who's laughing now, funny man?"
Shes also my smartphone, so she was lucky to be spared.
You have two phones? And this was your spare?
Check.
I yell at Dru, why did you bring us this way? She had no response, she was dead silent.
Probably died of embarrassment.
On top of that, I needed the restroom really bad. I knew I shouldnt have eaten chili the night before. We start to look for the nearest exit and finally take the first one we see. One of the first places we see is Vons supermarket. Pull into the parking lot, jump out of the drivers seat while the vehicle is still moving and tell Lady H to park. We did our best Duke of Hazzard impersonations here.
To make the story better, next time don't let there be an available restroom.
um... on second thought, let's just move on before you start talking about bowels moving on...
Now I remember back in the days, beer used to come in either a 6-pack or a case (Four 6-packs in a cardboard tray). Ever notice all the different choices now a days. 6-pack, 12-pack, 18-pack, 30-pack, 4-pack that holds just as much as liquid as a 6 pack.. And thats just cans. I dont even know if they sell the standard case (24 cans) anymore.
Had that conversation with Nebo a while back. What's up with that?
"Could I have a 12 pack of beer, please? Only I don't want 12, I'd like 7. Can I get a 7 pack?"
Oh great, now I'm making up names like Laura.
It rubs off, doesnt it?
She asks our name and 2 minutes into the check-in process the phone rings. She answers it and puts us on hold.
Thats a personal pet peeve of mine.
Listen, I came all the way down to your store, but someone on the phone gets priority? Put
them on hold. I was here first
plus I am actually
here.
And God help em if its a personal call.
After explaining 20 times to the person on the phone that they needed to call the 1-800 to make reservations,
Okay, thats a company policy
but its a stupid one. Reminds me of a radio ad that may only have been up here. It was for some quick oil change company and basically wanted you to come to them where you didnt need and appointment. It illustrated the frustration of dealing with a dealership instead of with them
Dealer: Thank you for calling Massive Motors, if you want to book an appointment, press 1 if you already have an appointment press 2
Customer: Okay, I have an appointment so I press 2
<beep>
Dealer: Thank you! To reschedule your appointment press 3, to cancel your appointment press 11
Customer:11? There
is no 11
Dealer: Press 11!
Customer: Uh
Okay.. uh
one, one
<beep, beep>
Dealer: Thank you! By pressing one you have confirmed your appointment! Thank you for calling Massive Motors.
Customer: What??? No!!! Wait!...
Dealer: <click>
she finally returns to us only give us the bad news. So sorry, but your reservation was lost and youll have to sleep out on the street. Here is some complimentary popcorn and candy though.
Ok, ok. Just trying to have some fun with this TR, geesh. Give a bunny a break will ya.
You had me going there! I thought, Oh no! They lost the reso and now they have to call the stupid 1-800 number
The resort is gated all around, even for parking. That gave us an added sense of security.
Plus the machine gun nests and snipers on the rooftops
He remembers how they were at the resort last year and how they apparently like to party the whole time theyre there. During their stay last year, they were so drunk that they even provided a free boxing match for the fellow patrons.
And then, later, you wonder what hes telling people about
you.
He also tells us how hes seen some people so drunk, that other people are using the luggage carts to wheel them to their units. Now theres a thought. Lady H and I keep this in mind in case one of us needs it later.
All of sudden BAM, Larry throws a right hook and almost knocks us out. Like the salesman they hired Larry to be, he gives us the dreaded line we hate to hear.
At this resort, they offer free breakfast in the morning with a brief 45-minute presentation.
They really should preface that with the theme from Jaws, no?
Oh Larry, you didnt just go there did you? We were laughing and having such a good time at Moe's and Curly's expense. Why did you have to go and ruin it?
Honeymoons over!
Yeah, just like the time I was supposed to get a free trip.
I wouldve mentioned it
just to see what Larry would say.
Still waiting on that by the way. "So which day should I put you down for? Larry asks.
I
hate that line. How about the one when a certain hot place freezes over?
Heres a few things we saw on our exploration.
Obviously youre not here to look at resort pictures and hear about Larry.
Au contraire! I thought the resort was pretty nice and wouldnt have minded even more.
For our next stop is:
DISNEYLAND!
Oh, right! Almost forgot.
Thanks for the chapter, it was really good!
:
Okay, off to read the next posts...