Those with HS kids that do not have a p/t job..

[lisaross]

My son is entering the 9th grade. He is now getting into hanging out with friends often, liking certain cloths.

He starts 9th grade - high school in the fall. He got into a specialized program that will require a lot of work. He will most likely join a sport team as well - so it will be a busy year for him. I am wondering how much money you give your child per week or month to enjoy time with friends. As of now my kids can earn up to $25. Per month by getting good grades etc. I am thinking this won't be enough for a high school kid. Next summer he will start working as a counselor at his summer camp but in the interim I do want him to have a reasonable amount to spend whether it be going to the movies, grabbing a bite to eat - purchasing a clothing item in addition to what I buy him.

How do things work at your home?

 

[ancestry]

When my two older kids were in high school (one graduated last year) we did it on an as needed basis. I didn't give an allowance or money just so he had money to carry around.

He had to ask for everything that he wanted or needed. I rarely said no unless it was ridiculous or very expensive. This way I was able to keep up with exactly where he was spending the money and didn't have to worry about the money going to things I didn't approve of.

 

[maslex]

When my two older kids were in high school (one graduated last year) we did it on an as needed basis. I didn't give an allowance or money just so he had money to carry around.

He had to ask for everything that he wanted or needed. I rarely said no unless it was ridiculous or very expensive. This way I was able to keep up with exactly where he was spending the money and didn't have to worry about the money going to things I didn't approve of.

Yeah, sounds familiar to my household too. We've never really done "allowance" whether it be weekly or monthly. Well, maybe when they were little kids.

My oldest son (18) has had a job since he was 16. So if he wanted something, he mainly paid for it himself.

My youngest son (17) doesn't have a job yet (still applying). But if he wants something he earns his money doing different things around the house (not everyday housework but extra things) or he'll doing odd jobs for his grandmother, who lives with us (in-law apt). Or he'll babysit for my brother's kids. We'll still give him a few dollars here & there if he doesn't have the money for what he wants to do but for the most part, he has to earn it doing things around the house.

 

[totallytigger]

I agree with PP. I have three children--the youngest is a sophomore in college--and we did not give them $$ just for the sake of having $$. We also didn't say no very often--but they did have to ask when they wanted $ for something. I feel that they learned to be more responsible with $$ by having to ask--rather than just spending without thought. My DD--college child--still asks before spending anything more than a small amount on things other than essentials. That way she has to take the time to think about the purchase 1st. This might not work for everyone--but it worked great for us.

 

[LMN]

My oldest will be a senior this coming fall. He has been taking higher level (AP) classes and participating in football and soccer each year, so really has been too busy to hold a job. I tell him he will have plenty of time to work later in life! lol He has recently put in a few applications for a job- we'll see if he gets anything. We don't give allowances in our house- good grades are expected and chores are expected as a way to pitch in as a part of our family. I do give him money here and there when he is going to the movies or out to eat with friends (this doesn't happen very often). My middle child will be a freshman this fall and this is how we plan to do things with her too.

 

[kymom99]

Same here. My son is finishing 9th grade and will also be volunteering at summer camp this summer. What a coincidence!

My son earns money on aluminum cans which doesn't make him rich, but it is something to give him responsibility. Also, he occasionally gets a few dollars from the neighbors when they go out of town and want their paper brought in. There is a 9 year old boy down the street who thinks my son walks on water. His parents will pay him to come down and hang out when they have places to go in the evening. He would do it for free but they are very generous. He saves birthday money and that sort of thing. My husband will give him some money if he works extra hard in the yard, etc. He is very careful with that money and I expect him to use it to get in to basketball games, buy gum and snacks at the store, etc. He has also bought his own tshirts from school when they were selling them. The other things, I usually pay for. We do discuss beforehand what I will pay for and what I expect him to pay for. Things come up unexpectedly so if I gave an allowance for things, he may not plan for everything.

That's how we do it at our house.

I tell him it is his job now to get good grades because in Kentucky kids get KEES money for GPA and ACT score for college. I also tell him that he will eventually have to find part time work once he is old enough. There are lots of options for making extra money. Everyone doesn't have to work at McDonald's although that is certainly a possibility. He is not even 15 yet so right now I think he is doing very well with the resources he has.

 

[Southernmiss]

My kids referee soccer on the weekends from age 12 on when they can.

We've had 3 high school kids. (We currently have a jr. and freshman.)
Honestly, on a weekly basis they don't have time for hanging out. They've got homework, clubs, marching band practice, soccer practice and referreeing and church activities. For any hanging out they do (it's usually a movie or fast food) they pay from their referee or holiday/bday gift money. Their referee $ goes in the bank. They decide what to keep and what to bank.

They at most spend $25 out of pocket per month and that's an expensive month.

I buy most of their clothes. They only really get/ask for clothes when they need it. I just bought new shoes and shorts and t-shirts and an Easter dress shirt for each of the boys. They had had big growth spurts since last summer and needed a lot this time.

Op I would see how it goes with your ds and what he reasonably has time to do. Instead of setting a definite amount.

In the summer, oldest ds in college works at our local water park. The others have applied for waterpark jobs and movie theater jobs for this summer. Fingers crossed that they get them.

 

[CyndiLooWho]

A lot is going to depend on your kids - yes plural. I would have no issues giving our older son "walk around money", b/c I know he's not going to spend it frivolously. But his brother is 2 yrs younger and will spend whatever is in his pocket on anything or anyone. If I give him $10 for lunch on a field trip day, he will buy his lunch and then buy something for a friend with the leftovers if asked. He will "loan" money and never get it back. He will see a bake sale, open his wallet and buy as much as his wallet holds.

That makes it hard to set precedent with the older boy. I can trust that if I give him $20 and say to watch it, b/c it has to last 2 weeks, he'll have most of it in 2 wks. But his brother won't last 3 days like that, so I can't do it.

 

[MrsPete]

Before you can answer that question, you have to decide what you expect him to pay out of that allowance. Do you expect him to pay for school supplies? Dates, maybe not in 9th grade but eventually. Football game tickets? Clothes? Once you've decided those things, work from that point.

We are of the mindset that you only get a few short years to be a teen, a few years while you can be pretty sure of making the softball team, of focusing on your schoolwork, etc. We did not push our girls to work during the school year (other than the occasional babysitting job).

We paid:
- everything school related: class fees, club expenses, yearbook, dance tickets, yearlong sports pass (much cheaper than paying for individual tickets)
- every fall we gave them $25 for school supplies, and they stocked up on notebook paper, etc. They rarely needed to buy more during the year. Book bags and calculators were purchased new for high school and were not replaced.
- every fall and every spring we gave them clothes money; aside from that, I might pick up an item as a surprise, but I didn't buy much -- if they wanted something special, I provided an opportunity to earn the money (i.e., clean the attic)
- for a special dance, I will pay for a dress. Our budget is $100 for semiformal or homecoming. $200 for prom. That is inclusive of shoes, hair, etc. It allows them to have what they want, but they must budget.
- when the oldest turned 16, I got a new car and the old one became the teen car. I pay insurance and about 1/2 the gas.
- aside from that, they got $10 per week. Teens don't need to have too much money in their pockets. Too much temptation, too many bad lessons that can come from being handed too much too soon.

My girls are now older teens. One's in college, the other has almost finished her junior year. They've turned out to be frugal and appreciative. Money is something we have done right.

 

[njmom47]

Ds (high school senior) had a p/t job last summer. He has called them and told them he is available again this summer. Hopefully they will call him soon. We do provide money for him when he's not working. He usually asks for a few bucks but he is pretty good with money.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

My son is a high school freshman.

We pay for almost everything for him: clothes, school supplies, shoes, most outings.

He referees basketball games to earn money and he recently passed his lifeguard certification so he just got a job doing that this summer.

DH and I will still pay for mostly everything though. We will tell him to save his money

I wanted him to get a job mainly for college purposes. He wanted to do something fun so my son and his friend took the lifeguard course together.

The university he wants to attend has a very competitive admission process. So with working, volunteering at our local kids summer camp, good grades and sports. Hopefully that will do it.

 

[scrapquitler]

When my two older kids were in high school (one graduated last year) we did it on an as needed basis. I didn't give an allowance or money just so he had money to carry around.

He had to ask for everything that he wanted or needed. I rarely said no unless it was ridiculous or very expensive. This way I was able to keep up with exactly where he was spending the money and didn't have to worry about the money going to things I didn't approve of.

That's pretty much how we do things in my house. My kids have never had a set allowance, but every once in a while I give them $10 to keep in their backpack in case something comes up that they want to buy. Before I give them more, I ask them if they still have money, and if they do, I don't give them more.

Usually I wait until they need money, and then I give it to them. DD wants to go to the movies? Okay, here's $20, but your ticket and a snack. Then she needs $15 for a t-shirt for the crew of the spring musical, so there's the $15.

I buy all clothes, provide plenty of snacks, pay for all extracurricular activities, etc. They don't ever suffer for not having an allowance, and when they do have money (like from gifts) they are total misers about spending it, so I'm not worried that they don't know how to manage money. But I guess it wouldn't work for everyone, but my kids almost never ask for things when we go out shopping or on a trip to somewhere (even Disney), they just never have done that. And it's not like we would ever say no.

 

[scottmel]

On September 1st and April 1st I give her a 150 for new clothes or whatever. She goes to a private school so wardrobe isn't as huge an issue. I set her up on an automatic payment on the online bank called SMARTYPIG. She can see at a glance what she has etc. when shopping. I direct deposit 30.00 a month in here as well. She supplements her income dog walking.

I feel this gives her a paycheck to manage. Now when she goes to the movies I buy her ticket but tell her the snacks are on her etc. I know she has 500 in her smartypig account and will really debate a purchase or save for a big one(bought herself a laptop at Christmas with smartypig money)

It isn't that we don't have the money to give her, we certainly do. I just want her to understand there is a limit on stuff etc. I like the motto of knowing what you have and if you choose to spend it on X it won't be there if you want Y down the road. Just to me makes them pause a bit..

Smartypig did have a debit card associated with them which was GREAT but they are in the process of switching vendors.....but AMEX has SERVE which is sort of similar but preloaded cards. I like this direct deposit idea

 

[leagirl12]

We have two teens...DS is 16 and DD just turned 15 in Feb. We started when DD was 13 giving them $100 a month to cover all clothing and wants. We would cover their needs. We originally were going to give $50 and make them cover wants and learn about budgeting that way but DD actually asked to be responsible for her clothing as she had read about a girl doing that in an American Girl magazine.

When DS got his car we gave him an extra $100 a month to cover gas. DD is VERY good with her money and rarely buys something that isn't on clearance or sale. It has been a little harder with DS to get him to manage his money but we are working on it. I would rather him struggle and figure it out at this age then when he is an adult.

Giving them a set amount each month works better for our budget because there are no surprise "can I have $20" to go do something. They know if they don't have the money....they don't go.

I did just approach DH this morning though about raising their amount as they are getting more active as they are getting older and the cost of things is going up. He agreed to give them an extra $50 a month.

They are both in the band and DS is on the track team so they are pretty busy with practices and such. DS will be joining the Navy after HS so DH and I agreed that we would not push him to get a job simply because we want him to enjoy this time before his every move is dictated for the four years after HS while in the Navy.

DD is a straight A Honor student and I am of the mindset that as long as she continues that track then getting a job will be up to her..not something we force. She is so hard on herself when her grades fall below an A+ that I don't want to add the stress of a job to that. She has the rest of her life to work!!!

 

[pigletto]

I paid/pay for everything school related, uniforms, regular clothes, trips, supplies etc. We go on an as needed basis for other things like movies and concerts. She babysits quite a bit and gets money for holidays so she uses her money for some things. For example she had $200 saved up and a nail gift certificate from her birthday, and a subway gift card from Christmas. She had a great shopping day with friends last weekend with all of that.
She's 17 and about to start driving. She will get the older car when she's ready. I think it's time to get a job. It doesn't have to be much, but I am dreading her insurance. I pay her cell phone too and expect her to start contributing to that soon. She'll need a new laptop for college which will be a Christmas gift. The thing is her wants/needs are just getting more and more expensive and we will need her to help out soon. Not a ton, but maybe half her insurance or something like that.

 

[texasroni75]

We have never given our kids an allowance. Their "job" is school - so they don't really have regular chores. I've taught them how to do laundry, cook, and clean, etc. but I typically do 99% of the household chores simply because I'm a SAHM and I am picky about how things are done.

We pay for sports activities (oldest DD did cheerleading for 5 years and that was pretty pricey), movies here and there with friends, etc. They have school lunch accounts, so they don't need us to give them lunch money. We make sure they have clothes that fit, good shoes, etc., and the younger kids typically don't ask for much - other than insanely long Christmas and Birthday wish lists, which they know I will pick and choose a few items from, and they won't get everything!

On a daily basis, if they want something that costs more than I'm willing to just hand over (more than $5-10), then I have them do some extra work or a project around the house to show me they appreciate the expense.

Oldest DD works now, and I can say that she truly understands the value of a dollar, and is very frugal with her own money. She will gladly take food from home to eat at school or work if it means she doesn't have to pay for the food out of her own pocket

 

[momof1princess]

I wouldn't mind if DD16 got a job when she's a little older; but, right now, I'd like for her to focus on school. She's VERY low maintenance, rarely asks for anything, so if she asks us for money for a movie or meal out with friends, we're happy to oblige. She doesn't drive yet, so getting a job would be more of an inconvenience for us, than it would be a help to her. She will also be starting AP classes on a 7 class a day schedule this fall, after having a block schedule for the past two years, so the upcoming school year is going to be very difficult for her. Throw marching band and community service into the mix, and I just think a job would be too overwhelming at this point.

 

[happycorgi]

We give my son $10-$20 a week depending who much money we have. We tell him if he spends all his money he gets no more. If he wants to go to a dance or coming up game it comes out of his money.

 

[Kitzka]

I have a DD who is a hs sophomore. She maintains a 4.6 gpa and dances 20 hours a week. In top of that she belongs to 3 hs clubs which meet every week and is part of our county habitat for humanity chapter and is part if a state wide tap ensemble.

I'm not bragging but illustrating that she doesn't hve a lot of free time for a job. I give her $50 a month for going out with friends and anything extra that she wants to buy. I also give her money for lunch when she's at dance for 6+ hours. If she has any change that's hers to keep.

Her grandparents will give her money every now and again. She saves half in the bank and the other half goes for spending.

She is less busy over the summer and works as a party helper. She does about 5 parties a month and is paid $40 (inc tips) a party. She saves half of this in the bank and the rest is her spending. She tends to save as much as she can for spending so she doesn't have to work once dance starts.

I'm not sure what I will do when she gets older. Probably have her babysit or help at more parties. She's fairly frugal and is very careful with her money (for a 16 year old. I do find the occasional $1 bill in her jeans before I start the wash).

I cover school incidentals and will give her extra funds every now and again.

 

[JeremyGNJ]

Wow, I completely disagree with all these people who say that they are making their kids more responsible by having them ask for money for each thing they want.

All this does is encourage NO money management. Give a kid a set amount and they have to decide what is worth spending it on. THAT teaches responsibility. IF they are gonna buy beer with friends, they will have to decide if it's worth the money. (otherwise they're going to lie to their parents, and say they are spending it at the movies)